Guys, I just stole a pack of Swedish Fish from a gas station. It was valued at about a dollar, I took them, went home...

Guys, I just stole a pack of Swedish Fish from a gas station. It was valued at about a dollar, I took them, went home, took the battery out, and I'm currently looking for a serial number.

Any tips to keep them from finding the device?

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forum.xda-developers.com
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What region are you in? It should be listed in the serial number.

Use the TOR browser to look it up online. Otherwise you're playing with fire.

what exactly did you steal?

leave in the microwave so the government cant track it

...

A pack of Swedish Fish from my gas station. I'm afraid to turn it on because they might be able to track it.

I'm in Central time.
Currently trying to wipe the Swedish Fish with a program online so no one can trace it.

what?
all I'm getting is chewing gum

don't worry
I found it

You don't get it.
The Swedish Fish are on right now and I'm trying to input a password here, hold on.

Gonna microwave this shit then. Thanks for ruining my free Swedish Fish.

This, OP. Until you can find another dense appliance to put it in.

I had a friend who would kept his in a broken mini-fridge until it was deregistered. Wrap it in aluminum foil to throw off the wifi signal first, and then you can transfer it safely.

Wiping it online for public access is well and good, but they might still have manufacturer tracking. And that's on a private server.

Don't know if they still do that, though.

sorry : (

what the fuck are you talking about. aren't swedish fish the candy? wtf you mean turn them on what is this shit? troll?

Run magnets over it. If you don't have magnets, move to China.

You're playing a dangerous game here, user. The state does not value degeneracy.

...

Welcome to the thread, dumbass.

Are you fucking kidding? This shit is valued at over a dollar.
I have to hide it..

Do you think I'm stupid enough to connect them to the wifi in the first place?

WAIT!!
forum.xda-developers.com
If they can't help you, your shit outta luck.

im still so lost im getting a headache. why is he talking about swedish fish like theyre some kind of electronic device and not candy?

Oh, you said that you took the battery out. Sorry OP.

I honestly don't know why I thought you'd take them home before removing the batteries. I should lurk more.

>why is he talking about swedish fish like theyre some kind of electronic device
Because he *stole* them and he's worried about getting caught if they can be traced through wi-fi or 4g.
sigh...

Dude, either you're the most dumpiest and retarded newfag, or you're good at baiting.

Put them in your fridge. No radio wave communication

Jesus fuck.

Lurk more, you fucking newfriend. Do you tap the brakes like this in every thread you post in?

BUT HOW, could they be. the bar code just TAKE THEM OUT the fucking package bro, and throw it outside. wtf is this thread?

>TIL candy has GPS tracking in it now

Mail it to the Ecuadorean embassy in London, quick!

My friend was honestly retarded. And I've never taken fish home myself.

Do you have to crack the actual case to remove the batteries, like, are they internal, or can you just remove a panel and use a screwdriver? Sorry for being such a faggot. Honestly. This is the first fish thread I've seen in at least two months.

here's the instructions

What are you, stupid?

I took a small screwdriver to the DVD drive and I managed to get them out easily.

Afterwards I had to rewire the speakers out of the sugar to re-route the frequency to another location.

I'm running out of time..

Are you not getting it through your thick skull that this thread is parodying all of the "I stole a laptop from someone" threads?

> tap the brakes

I like this. I'm gonna use it in threads.

You must be fun at social gatherings
OP, wrap them in a thick layer of aluminium foil and hide them in the woods, retrieve them when everything dies down. Just don't let your guard down or do something stupid like opening the package too soon and you should be in the clear

What's on that image?
Could you please post it like normal because I don't have the pass?

Thanks man. That's a big help.

I'm going to be doing some traveling in a little while, and I just might see if I can lift a pack or two now that I've got this.

I'll look around for that PDF that got mentioned the last time I saw this sort of thread.

I'm grief-stricken that dubs was wasted on the mentally deficient.

Don't you people eat up enough tax-payer money? You need our fucking dubs, too?

DON'T CLICK IT, THE PICTURE CONTAINS TRACKING SOFTWARE. THEY ARE ALREADY ON TO YOU

>Coming from some random dipshit who can't catch onto an obvious joke thread.

Yeah, but that only works if you can get to an area with no wifi coverage. Some models have cellular access too, and you'd have to go even further.

Anyone know what company or towers SF has a partnership with? I mean, most companies have city coverage, and that's where 96% of this shit happens anyway.

>This thread is a parody
>You're a dipshit
>Everything is a fingerbox thread
>Fingerboxes aren't real

Honestly. Why even post?

>Making as much sense as a crack-addict on speed.

Honestly, why even post?