Wel, Sup Forums... I think I fucked up. I posted before about my GF being reluctant to do anything involving her ass...

Wel, Sup Forums... I think I fucked up. I posted before about my GF being reluctant to do anything involving her ass, and I followed your advice and just went ahead and did it anyway. That part went fine - we got a bit drunk, I dabbed my finger in lube, and give it a gentle but firm shove into her ass.

To my surprise, she didn't try to push my hand out. She sort of gasped, then whispered "Be gentle, okay?"

But here's the problem - I pushed my finger all the way to the bottom knuckle, and landed right in a wad of fecal matter.

Now I am completely disgusted and don't want to do anything with her. I almost puked when I felt the crap inside of her body. I thought I'd be able to get past that, but it has disgusted me in a profound way.

then you don't deserve anal. Stick to the pussy, ya pussy.

well what the fuck did you expect?

If you still have your finger in her, stand back when you take it out.

>puts finger where shit comes from
>upset when he finds shit

WAIT, THERE'S POO IN THERE?!?

Dumbass

well? Did you take your finger out?

Anal requires preparation you goof.
You and your girl need to know about the anal session beforehand and have her clean her shitbox out before you get to work.

Anal isn't as spontaneous as regular sex unless you don't care about a little shit on your dick.

>wanna stick my finger in yabutt

>eww gross poop

You don't deserve her, man. You're a bitch and stupid.

Thats why you prep with an enema you faggot.

Assuming she has basic hygene standards, licking and light fingering is probably fine. But anything more? Enema. Nice and clean.

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my gf is becoming each time more aware that I like anal and I enjoy to play with her ass. In the beggining, she always pushed away my hand, but now she even enjoys it

And I already made her cum with anal sex twice, lots of times with anal masturbation and lots more with a vibrator

The second time we had anal sex, right after I cum, she farted and some piece of shit rolled on the sheets.

I took a piece of toilet paper that I keep next to my bed, took that piece of shit and threw into the trash. Simple.

Then I quickly washed my dick, laid next to her and we cuddled

Was I liking the fact that I had shit on my dick? Of course not.
Was it fun to wash my dick super quickly on the sink? Of course not

But she's the girl that I love, that makes me complete and satisfied. That's the minimum I could do for her

tl;dr: stop being a little cunt and accept the fact that anal = shit on the prick sometimes, cunt

Next time you do that, tell her to take a shit before. Even better tell her to do an enigma with warm water first.

>Enigma
Nigga wat ?

I always ask "can i touch you here?" and if she says no then i know it's poop time

>A warm water enigma

I meant enema lol

>tell her to do an enigma
Yeah. Like the riddle of the sphinx or something.

>enigma

>enigma

whenever i insert anything into gfs asshole it bleeds a little the next day
what do
(ass related)

>A warm water enigma
My mind has been confused. You win, man of many faces

OP isn't talking about a little piece of shit, he stuck his fingers into a log without prepping his gf

foreplay. get her loose before you shove shit in.

She needs to stretch. Start with finger play and work your way up.

Unless she has hemorrhoids, then she needs to get that shit checked up on.

I already did that too once, no big deal, go wash your hands and continue whatever the two of you might decide to do next

When I say "stop being a fucking cunt", I mean STOP BEING A FUCKING CUNT

40 keks

my fingers cause the bleeding too! its absolute horse shit. and its not like im going in dry, i always eat the fuck out of her ass before hand and saliva my finger

kill yourself

you have to massage her asshole gently for a few minutes, they never show that in porn but that's how they get their assholes loose

maybe cut your fucking nails

Saliva will run dry too quick, go get some good lube

If you do anything involving the butt you have to be okay with getting poop on you. The Hershey Highway can give you a great ride but she is a cruel mistress.

hahahaha

Grow up OP, my first time doing anal things there was a bit of turd. Get over it. I still eat the booty.

In porn they always use spit, but often they use lube as well, just don't show it

Kek

>enigma
Holy fuck include me in the screen cap

Hi redit

...

Riddit is cancer fgt

>include this in the screen cap too so everyone can know how much of a faggot this user is

I remember the first time I poked my ex gf's asshole in the shower. She loved it but when I pulled out for her to suck on, there was a pea sized nugget of poo on the tip of my dick. She was embarrassed and rightly so but it was something we laughed about later, especially when I was balls deep in her fine Mexican asshole. If you start knocking on Mr. Turds door, don't be surprised if he home and answers. If she finds out that you are disgusted, say goodbye to anal ever again. It will embarrass her so much she will never want to do it again. Most women can handle stuff like. She will take it personally and it will hurt her self esteem.

yeah even if it's disgusting you have to play it off otherwise she won't do it again

Sounds like sticking your tongue is the next step fag.

So maybe you become less of a fag

Dubs speaks the truth

Yeah bro ænima is a pretty great album

Let her stick her cock into your ass next time

piss a lil in her ass and tell her to blow out all the shit. the piss separates all the crap better than water and it always comes out in full.

>If you start knocking on Mr. Turds door

Top Kek

lol you don't just go in, dumbfuck. You're suppose to prepare for that shit, unless you're some degenerate shat fetish user. Use an enema before hand. Jesus.

>not liking the shit
>not ramming her full shitter
>wasting this opportunity
>not being able to handle anal for what it is
>purposefully using a raunchy hole and being surprised when something raunchy happens
>being a faggot
>being too much of a pussy to handle some feces

You don't deserve it, faggot.

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I FUCKING HATE NIIIIIIGGGGGGEEEERRRRRSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well duh.
There is gonna be shit in there.
Porn stars shit it all out and do anemas before doing anal.
Get over it. She was being nice and let you do butt stuff.

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tongue first

...

Kek

?>Warm water enigma

>landed right in a wad of fecal matter.
>wad
>of fecal matter

...

what did you think you'd find? Icecream? Unicorns?

wtf were you expecting? you did plan it out with her so of course she had some in there.
fucking faggot.

i hope someone capped this

>E N I G M ∆
>N
>I
>G
>M
>∆

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I mean the whole thing with all the replies

I tried anal for the first time with my Ex. My dick is fairly decent size, about 7.5 inches, so while it felt amazing, her dad called half way through so I had to pull out. Saw there was shit on my dick and went to the bathroom and cleaned it up, soaped my dick and cleaned it again later.

We continued doing anal, shit isn't that bad. Really it didn't gross me out at all. Don't be a pussy, or stick to pussy. Ass is not for the faint of heart.

>Enigma

>never do any extra prep for anal
>never poop on dick
I guess I just got a better one

>her dad called
wait what. explain

I had pretty much the same situation. Did anal with this virgin a few times over a couple of days, first 2 times my dick came out completely clean, but the 3rd time I pulled out to give her a rest and saw there was a mixture of lube and shit on my dick. After the initial panic I just told her as calmly as possible, scrubbed it with hot water and soap, let her clean herself up, and just spent the rest of the time cuddling.

Shit is almost certainly going to happen. Sex is filled with gross smells and weird body fluids, stop being such a whiny pussy and deal with it.

You know how long it will take to farm Jah and ber??

I really have been on this site too long when I read her dad I immediately expected it to say her dad joined in or some variant

>enigma
>not anemone
Autist

...

don't you people doing anal use condoms? if it's on the condom just wipe off and continue what's the fucking problem

Top kek

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>Even better tell her to do an enigma with warm water first.

>enigma
Put me in the screencap or your mother will die tonight.

what the fuck????????

Nah feels 100x better without, as long as you aren't scared of shit then its fine

Lul feels bad bro

Don't get excited user lmao. She was riding me and out of no where her ring tone just blasts in my fucking ear and I'm like fuck off, don't even get to bust. So we pulled out and she did her best to suppress her breathing and I went and washed up as they talked about getting food or some shit. Nothing exciting I assure you.

Right? Like for any bro out there that tries anal play and gets grossed out by shit, they need to fucking sit down and take a reality check.

Shit comes out of the ass. So if you play with said ass, then obviously you can expect there is going to be shit in there.

Real life isn't porn, your girl isn't going to do a colon cleansing and bleach her ass hole before you do anal, unless she really really really loves anal. So man the fuck up and learn to deal with some shit. The main reason girls get fucking scared of anal is because of the guys that freak out and get all grossed out when their girl has shit in her ass. Seriously guys, man up or stick to pussy.

wait, it's not called an enigma?

kek

Moreee faggot

this is now epic bread


and im toastin in it

My god OP, you have to have her poop 1st or do the enemy to get cleaned out. Or if she is like most normal girls they only poop 1x every 2 or 3 days. Gotta time it right, like ovaltining so you don't pregnant her.

>enigma

I'm confused, whatever you stick in her ass bleeds? Like your finger? Does she have an acidic stinkter?

Here you faggots go, I actually wasted my time creating this. Thank me later after you post it on reddit for your upvotes.

bet niga dont go to school

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Possibly you don't get deep enough?

>enemy
>ovaltining

Tryingtoohard/10

Thx bae

calm down edward scissorhands

And that's why you don't just go in anyway. If you do butt stuff with no preparation you're going to end up dealing with shit. Literally.

All you need to do is make sure they've recently taken a shit and wipe properly. Fail that, enjoy ending up touching poo.

> do an Enigma