I really wana to kill someone and I don't know how to hide a body. I don't want to get caught

I really wana to kill someone and I don't know how to hide a body. I don't want to get caught.
PLEASE HELP ME Sup Forums

Come on teach me how to commit a perfect murder.

go fuck yourself weirdo

Start a boring ass thread and they will die of boredom and you don't even have to kill them or mess with hiding bodies. You're off to a GOOD START.

Kill me pls

1. Kill said person
2. Sit on microwave for 30 mins to change your DNA structure so when they look for evidence they find someone elses DNA
3. ???
4. Profit

I must murder that faggot. World will be better without him. I just need some instructions how to do it.

Melt the body like in Breaking bad

Well first of all think of everything that connects you to that person.
The less they know you, the better.
Then think about possible ways they could make a connection to you, if the police never got your dna or fingerprints, then dont worry too much about leaving some of that on the corpse.

I would guess good hiding places are holes in the ground or well a reall deep sea or better the ocean?

Think about it user dont be a dumb motherfucker.

Kill yoursf first, see how that goes the kill someone after learning from personal experience

this. worked for me twice.

Well posting a request for advice on Sup Forums definitely wasn't a good start.

Just join the religion of peace, kill whoever, and claim religious discrimination anytime someone tries to arrest you.

Thats a good one xd

if it was me,id go to his house at the middle of the night,knock,shoot him in the head with a suppressed gun,and walk away,burn shoes

Despite all the forensic bullshit you see on tv, it's usually the motive that ultimately gets you fucked. If you personally know your victim, you're on thin ice. If it's someone you got beef with then don't even think about it. If it's a significant other you might as well turn yourself in.

This is why serial killers/psychopaths are so hard to catch, they have no relation with their victims.

>don't want to get caught
>posts damning confession from his computer
too late pal

Just become a police officer

1. live culture yogurt
2. cooking syringe/turkey baster/enema ball
3.garbage bag

Dig a hole with one end deeper than the other. Like an in-ground pool. Shove yogurt up ass of body. Place body in trashbag. Place body in hole with the ass end higher up. Wait 2-3 days, then throw some wood and gas into the hole and burn it all. Fill the hole.

>keep corpse in your basement you fucking fag

Cyanide my man, cyanide.

>they have no relation with their victims.

You mean besides the semen?

you have to chop it up and feed it to pigs or someshit

just beat your dick. every time you cum you millions of potential babies.

kill*