How to use a Trump Hat

How to use a Trump Hat


>start going to Mexican restaurants wearing a trump hat ~June 2016
>sit down and order like I'm going to eat there
>see contempt on the face of the staff and yet sit there defiantly
>every time the food comes to my table, I ask for a takeout box without eating a thing
>mail each takeout box to my older brother, who is a homicide forensics scientist
>after 3 months, a takeout box finally tests positive for saliva
>he sends it back to me
>cut up the food and spit on it a little and make it look like I ate some of it.
>send the takeout box to local health department with a letter detailing my suspicions
>health department asks if ate it any of it and then asks for a DNA swab after I say yes
>I give them my DNA
>health department closes down the restaurant about two months later
>health department issue subpoenas for DNA samples of everyone
>Health department DNA test results confirm that my saliva is on the food
>Health department DNA test results confirm that the OWNER'S saliva is on the food
>Health department DNA test results confirm that a shift manager's saliva is on the food
>Health department DNA test results confirm that two of the cooks and three of the waiters spit on it.
>sue the owner for $5,000,000
>owner settled out of court for $1,000,000 Wednesday in exchange for a non-disclosure agreement
>my fucking lawyer takes nearly half
>$582,463 deposited into my banking account

Noice

You smart mofo

>tests positive for saliva
Ah yes, those saliva test kits are always great.

I hear it's at least a 3 year backlog on those saliva kits.

> OP has never left his moms basement
> OP doesn't know how the health department and legal system works

bullshit

3 months and you think that the food is in tact.. what even is decomposition

> American high school education ladies and gentlemen

I think he meant that 'after 3 months of repeatedly doing this'.
The story is still bullshit, but work on your reading comprehension.

I feel like I've gotten a little bit dumber having read this. OP you sir are a genuine faggot.

So you waited til one tested positive for saliva, then you got it back, spit on it a little, and then sent it to the health department?

Its sarcasm user, you fucking retard.

>Report a 3 month old dish to any local health department for inspection

noice story with a little more of weed or alcohol I could have you not madeup story probably

>Hurr durr stupid mexicans running a legit business paying taxes, they are such shit

Can't really blame reading comprehension when the OP is unable to form a coherent sentence.

you jealous, faggots?

MAGA

low quality bait, not worth image

hey cool i saw someone else post that the other day with another unbelievable borderline retarded story.
nicefilename.png

Rah Rah Rah Three Cheers for Skin Tape

That sounds like a plan that is so useful idiot it just screams for a medal from the leader of the idiocracy, herr drumpf himself. Lead on.

it says Sup Forums your on Sup Forums

>Your honor, so I went to this restaurant and ordered a food. Then I sent it to my brother who is a criminal investigator, asking him to waste national forensic resources to check the food for presence of saliva just because I had a hunch. I usually do it that way, it's natural

>Tfw then the kike lawyer takes 500 000 USD for a lawsuit for sitting in someone's food.

...

What state?
Change your ip or get in your mobile phone and tell us what restaurant did it.

>first, get a brother that works in forensics
>then, live in an area with successful and actually non-criminal Mexican
>then, have enough disposable cash and time to fuck around and prank the Mexicans in your town
Yeah, the hat did all the work...