Its a Truman thinks about high school and cries all day episode

>its a Truman thinks about high school and cries all day episode

>it's a truman jerks of to the memory of a 15 year old girl episode

>it's a Truman posts to Sup Forums about a Truman Show type movie not realizing it's about him

>it's a "user tries to recreate a thread from last week"

>it's a "you can never relive your wasted youth" episode

it was a pretty good thread

and it was like three days ago

>it's a truman justifies it because that girl doesn't use social media episode

Imagine escaping the show and discovering some cringeworthy thing you said when you were 16 is now a huge meme.

foreigners used the show to learn English too, it'd be worldwide

>It's a "you are wasting your youth right now" decade

>spend my time obsessing on how I missed pure middle/high school love
>23, single and not deformed

There was one yesterday too.

>it's an "user makes the same thread over and over episode"
Oh wait, that's every episode.

>It's a Truman thinks back to how easy it would have been to put a bit more effort into school and not have to work in the supermarket for the rest of his life episode

That episode hit home man

>7th grade dance
>all my friends are getting grinded on by junior high pussy
>haven't grinded all night
>girl makes a passive compliment in my direction
>ask her to dance
>she says "no"
>guy in her vicinity laughs at me
>I feebly choke him when he turns his back
>He punches me in the face
>Teacher saw me getting punched
>Start crying my eyes out due to embarrassment
>Everyone sees
>The kid explains what happens
>end up getting in trouble
>Mom picks me up
>She's clearly humiliated
>I cry the whole way home

>It's a Truman meets a girl who is kind of nice to him and proceeds to stalk her for the following two years episode

Literally hell.

>it's a "Truman listens to music and pretends he's performing it in his high school auditorium for his peers...10 years after high school ended" episode

>It's a Christof sets up Truman with a transgender episode to teach the world about diversity and acceptance

>It's an "user stops obessing over the past so he can live in the present" breakthrough

>it's an "user discovers canned platitudes aren't much help when you're objectively a loser" season

Remember the season where they nuked Truman's town and he had to spend a year surviving off the hand and killing his neighbours?

>it's a "Truman goes on two dates with a girl then spends 6 years reading her nonpassword protected blog posts hoping to god she mentions him but she actually has never thought about him since roughly 2011" episode

Heard the actors all had terminal cancer or some shit, that explains why Truman kept complaining how queer they tasted.

>it's a "Truman steals his teen neighbor's panties and kind of thinks the parents suspect but he might just be being paranoid" arc

>it's an "user didn't experience those things either but tries to better himself every day and help a random user" post

>it's a truman finds a pube under his foreskin but enjoys pulling it out so much he put them there on purpose episode

...

>foreskin
Truman was literally snatched as a newborn to be displayed to a primarly American audience, he's obviously cut.

>it's a "Truman stares at a photo of young people in love in a vain attempt to feel any emotion that isn't self-hatred" episode

>it's an "user doesn't understand the point of the thread" post

>it's a Christof tries to sell a show to the network executives that has cameras 24/7 on a baby for years episode

Ive always wondered, did people watch him jack off?

and how did that work on cable?

>It's a "Truman has a sudden spike of terror and enui when he realises he hasn't gone more than a week without checking his ex's social media for a whole year" episode

>it's a Truman's parents look at their family plan usage stats and see Truman has only sent and received 5 texts in a month episode

they explain in the film how they avoid showing any form of sexual content

That sounds really counterproductive.

>It's a Truman sees his manipulative ex who looks fine & asks him to call her later

i don't remember that part

man, they must have gotten no footage at all from him between 12-15 yrs old

>its an user watches this little self help session from the bleachers while sipping on a fresh brewed cup of coffee episode.

feels pretty comfy to be perfectly honest...

>Jim Carey tries to act Eps

>that pic
Isn't he supposed to be all business, all the time?

sleep tight baba

>it's a truman scratches his butthole through his underwear and sniffs his finger finding the smell got through episode

>it's a "Truman wipes and sees blood but it's bright red instead of dark so he's okay with it" episode

>it's a Truman spends 6 months making art of his ex with her head ripped off after she friendzones him and moves to California episode

literally me two hours ago

>it's a Truman sees his ex has turned into a lesbian since they broke up and she's been dating hot bitches and he's only had hambeasts and trannies

>it is a Truman does some strenuous activity in from of a cute girl at work & he lets out two little audible fart

Literally me any time I shit.

Put a little aloe on your toilet paper and dab your asshole with it when you're done shitting.

Que magnifique.

have you ever found out what it is?

i was thinking hemorrhoids or something

>Que c'est magnifique.
FTFY.
Or better yet,
>Quelle magnificence.

...

>it's a Truman is so lazy he can't even be bothered to waste time on a Bangladeshi virtual abacus discussion board properly.

Why did they give Truman a normal life?

Who the fuck would watch that?

They could have literally fucked with this guy and made some funny shit. They could have told Truman that cotton candy comes from the sky and that you have to pray to your shit 3 times a day before flushing

>it's a Truman realizes his own mortality and that he is only a tool used by a cold uncaring universe that has plans for him that he can't even begin to understand

Pretty sure it's hemmerroids, I'm a fat fucker and my job has me sitting down most of the time.

Also I spend too much time on the toilet after shitting...A little aloe and getting off the toilet earlier usually helps.

>it's a "Truman wipes his sweaty ass and comes up with a wad of bloody, shitty, sweaty toilet paper" episode

The whole point was to show the entire life of a normal person who's completely genuine about it.

Of course IRL people would get bored three months in, not even counting the legal and economic impossibility of the project.

My guess is a three parter.

a) You hold in your shit sometimes, forcing huge collecyed dry monster dumps at your convenience.

b)You wipe like an absolute madman

c)Improper diet: Too much dairy, not enough fiber

I'm a skeleton and have a job where I have to walk around a lot. I do tend to spend a lot of unnecessary time sitting around on the toilet, crusting my asshole up though.

The thing that worries me is the fact that there has to be some shit finding it's way in to the wounds or whatever it is.

Yes, I do all of those things

>it's a Truman spends his weekend literally shitposting on a Chinese cartoon message board

Nah, that's only if it's chronic. It's most likely just a chapped ass from sitting on the sitter too long.

I'm telling you, aloe it up.

>tfw cool aloe in your ass and no one knows.

>it's a Truman starts a Youtube channel episode

thanks

>its a truman spends his friday having meaningless sex in a shitty hotel with a 6/10 to forget his oneitus rejecting him for someone else and not even cumming after two hours of fucking said 6/10

>it's a Truman humblebrags on a image board for virgins episode

>its a truman spends his saturday night putting on RLM videos in the background to listen to the talking emulate the feeling of having friends in a darkened room.

>It's a Truman goes to the store and buys lottery tickets because he knows that's the only way his life will ever improve from the poverty he lives in

>It's a Truman gets pissed on cheap whiskey on a Tuesday night, runs out of cigarettes, throws a fit and decides to drive into town to buy some more even though he can barely walk and then gets pulled over and arrested for drunk driving and loses his job episode

>implying normal laws apply to truman

kek

>it's a Truman googles suicide methods then wanders aimlessly inside the hardware store episode

>It's a Jim Carrey accidentally drives his girlfriend to suicide episode
Those are the worst man

>Its a truman googles different pain indexes and average time of deaths for suicide methods and concludes that a shotgun to the head or a simple exit bag would be the best.

>it's a Truman's untreated socipathy forces him to assume the alter-ego of Falseman, tasked with tracking down and killing anyone who has ever lied to him

6/10 is pretty good for meaningless sex

>it's a Truman spends a Sunday jerking off to candy doll sets and role playing as a little girl on chat rooms episode.

>its a "Truman gets some fast food that he knows will give him diarrhea but doesn't care because he didn't have any plans that night" episode

>it's a Truman tries to hide a high school erection and his actor-friend keeps trying to get him to stand up episode

Imagine being the girl who they decided to be his wife. Having to be with a man who you have no attraction to for years on end must be horrid

>It's an user posts something depressing and relatable episode guest starring You'll never amount to anything important.

>implying thats not how most marriages turn out

If you ever need to kill an involuntary boner, tense your leg muscles; the blood flow will be diverted and your boner will quickly soften.

Also works delaying ejaculation.

>It's a "Truman is getting ready for his only outing into the real world, to purchase more liquor" episode.

>It's a repeat

>it's a Truman accidentally dunks his biscuit for too long in his tea and half of it fractures and sinks to the bottom, ruining your tea and thereby your entire tea-break episode

She would have been getting paid for her work though, so it's just like real life.

AHAHAHA faggot

I have Ulcerative Colitis.

>it's a truman gets a boner when a girl is sitting on his lap but she doesn't even notice it episode

>it's a Truman gains 200 pounds over the course of his childhood into his adult life and therefore any form of physical assertion becoming harder and harder for him. Disgusted with himself he shuts away, going outside once or twice a week, his head filled with rushing blood as he walks around, trying not to wobble too much. Oh! Haha! and he has ANOTHER cyst on the insides of his smelly, scarred, yellow purple thighs. He can feel himself sinking.

>it's a Truman wishes he were more outgoing and in better shape, but does nothing to try and improve on either one of those and worries he's just wasting the best years of his life and it's never going to get any better only worse episode

yeah but when can she enjoy her money? She's working as a shill near 24/7.

fuck

>It's a "you're the biggest faggot on the face of the Earth idealizing what may be the IMPUREST form of love" episode
>It's a kys episode

>It's a Truman is unemployed but hasn't applied for a job in three months and instead masturbates to hentai when his wife is at work series

How often do you flare up? I used to get it at least once a year, since I was 16. But now I've been in remission for over 3 years. It's nice. Weird knowing it's gonna come back eventually, since it feels almost like I never had it at this point. About to turn 30.

>It's a Truman thought he found love but really it was highschool romance and now he's slowly dying a horrible lonely death that he both fears and welcomes.

fug

I haven't watched this movie in over a decade. Can someone remind me what happened once he got out? And what made him go sailing in the first place?