I'm in need of some serious help

I'm in need of some serious help

My gf throws these tempur tantrums that make me so mad i want to punch her in the face. She'll whine for an hour straight saying "you don't care about me" and "I just want to talk" and I'll say "I do care about you" "what do you want to talk about?" then she'll say the same thing worded differently basically.

Its all nonsense. How do you deal with a literal brat and girl that throws tempur tantrums? How do you fix it? It's like she's an actual spoiled brat child when she doesn't get her way. Any psych majors tell me the proper way to deal with and fix this shit?

I throw it away and get a new one.

Break up with her

Or accept that you have issues socializing with people

Pack up your shit and walk away.

Why would you have a gf who's mentally 12 years old?

She's the one with the issue. I've been in a few serious relationships and never dealt with this. I'm an outgoing person I know how to talk. What she does isn't talking. It's lashing out or some shit.

I've invested a lot of time and effort in this. Everything's good minus the monthly tantrums. If I can just fix it, it would be a perfect relationship. Any ideas on how? Are you suppose to not give in or something?

Buddy, were the same person. Sometimes i just dont know what to do. Like im sure theres times shes great but then theres times where you wonder " how the fuck am i still with her?" But you just keep going on bc youve been in way too long. Ive been in 5 years so far and its just a big mind fuck. Like i dont get it. But sex is great usually but i dont get it why im still with he childish ass sometimes

Fuck the shit out of her one last time, drop her off at home, then break up with her the next morning. The tantrums won't get better, either learn to love them, learn to beat her and get away with it, or leave her ass.

Negative reinforcement. It's like training a dog, don't reward her shit behavior with attention. Ignore her when she acts that way and when she's screaming and yelling for you to acknowledge her, state in a calm controlled voice that children are only acknowledged when they behave, so she can act like a child and be treated like one or when she's ready to act her age you'll be waiting to speak with her. Leave the premise right away and when you return she'll be ready to act like a person. If not, rinse and repeat.

We split an apartment. That's the problem.

Almost forgot, source: been with my wife for 14 years and got her tantrums down from like 80% of the time occurring to most recently like 10% of the time at most. We have conversations now, not teenage screaming matches.

That's like saying my house is great except for the termites. Stop throwing good money after bad, faggot.

>tell me to break up with her so I can whine about it

You sure its her OP. You sure it isn't....you?

This is the shit I'm trying to find. Ty user thank you! Anyone know any other tips? I Srsly want to try and mind fuck this childish shit out of her. I know I can do I'm dedicated to her so I'll try anything.

>She's the one with the issue.

Accepting no responsibility for it wont help at a basic level you have to acknowledge this is brought on by some form of external stimulus generated by you.

>I'm an outgoing person I know how to talk.

Debatable you seem to get defensive quickly

>What she does isn't talking.

What spurs it seems like she is arguing with you and you aren't accepting or empathizing with her.

If I said you always smack your lips when you eat

and you say

No I don't

That is just going to pro long an argument.

SO once again what spurs this.

It's lashing out or some shit.

This right here. This user GETS IT. No other answers needed.

Shit sucks right?

Doesnt work. Well not with my gf. I just dont know what to do sometimes. Like i do that but then she says "why dont you love me" and i tell her i do and then she says " so love me" and i just get furious because the shit she complains about is so so unecesarry

What the fuck is wrong with you??

Guess you're stuck with that shit until the end of the lease. Or, you can find someone to break it.

temper*

Tell her that she needs to stop being a brat, or leave her. Grow up and be an adult. Why do you need the faggots on le 'chon to help you like they're a credible source of advice.

White knight detected

LOL you think you're the reason for that and not just her growing up over 14 yearso

allright fine you decide

It's a toxic relationship user. I literally just spent the past 3 years in that relationship. Finally got the balls to end it during one of her many tantrums while at a friends house. Best decision I've made in a while tbh. Yeah it sucks. But it was for the better.

Have a SERIOUS 1 on 1. Like sit her down and say we need to talk and shit. Make her know that this shit is seriously jeopordizing the relationship. Make it clear that you really like her and everything but that she needs to communicate better and stop the moodiness.

If she lashes out during this or any time after, its time to cut and run.

My last gf was a complete brat. I should've just dumped her, but I ended up wasting a lot of time because I tried to hang on to the relationship. If she's anything like the one I had, just dump her and move on. You'll be happier in the long run.

You're welcome. Just remember that females are social creatures that require their partners attention. It's like fucking dope to them. You control the attention, use it to you advantage.
Thanks guy, all it takes is observation and manipulation.
You're doing it wrong. Your mistake? When she does her "you don't love me shit" don't tell her that you do. Don't tell her anything. Silence says a lot user.

Next time she acts out spank her ass. If she flips out and breaks up you know it wasn't meant to be.

Its almost like they have no real concrete reason to start the arguments and have no goal in mind to resolve the conflict. Just the attention arguing brings and hearing you say how much you love her. Could this be what all women want? Just To argue?

A woman doesn't grow much from 25 on. We weren't teenagers user. I know it was me, the data is right in front of my face
>female detected

>Could this be what all women want? Just To argue?

Chances are if this is occurring both individuals just settled for one another

Not kidding when I do this, she gets physical with me to where I can't ignore her. She's even thrown something before.. Fuck I need to get out of this relationship. Don't ever date country bumpkins. This is the second one. Should've learned my lesson. First one broke my computer.

Yes. They like to argue because they know you're still interested if you argue back. Feign disinterest and ignore her. Yawn during one of her rants for good measure.

then she just cries more bc i wont talk so then she starts like hitting me for an answer. Then i get really fed up

Don't let her get physical. What are you? A man or a mouse. If she comes at you restrain her and put her down and scream directly in her face with your deepest voice, with all the authority you can muster, "I will hurt you badly if you place your hands on me again"

You forgot to add in he's not good enough for her and you'll treat her like a real gentleman.

fuck her senseless

So restrain her. If you can't, install a cam in your room, and as soon as she hits you put her down. HARD. She'll cry and threaten to call the cops, let her if she wants, but she won't.

Break up with her, delete her number, block her on all social medias. Trust me op I once dated a woman like that and they are garbage, you can't fix em that's just how they are.

I did tell her I'm moving if she does it again. I almost hit her this time and I've never come close to hitting a girl. I don't like the person she's turning me into. Fuck I needed to make this I know what i need to do now.. Fuck this is gonna suck.

Either leave her or deal with that cunt. Everyone has been stuck in the same shit at one point. We don't tell people to get the fuck out for no reason but none of that matters your relationship is the exception you can figure it out because "shes the one". One day you will look back and just be pissed at yourself for staying around as long as you did.

Out of curiosity what do your friends think of her?

Ive never been a physically agressive guy, never liked the idea of hurting her either. Thats why i find it difficult because i choose to take things verbally rather than physically.

Oh and ALL of the info I've put out is predicated on the fact that this woman loves you. If she doesn't it'll likely end to her cheating, in which case you didn't want the slutty BITCH anyway.

That's some funny shit. I'm curious what she'd do if I did it seriously. Like you're getting spanked not sexually. Just spanked and send her to the bedroom.

Don't be aggressive. Be REACTIVE

beat her shit and post, or stream it

9fag

k

I wouldn't want that over grown child

This is a fake thread. You keep making these and people keep giving heartfelt answers.

It's manipulative and I like it.

The only things ive got out of this 5 year relationship is the patience of a monk, like i dont really get upset about anything really even school which in someways is kinda concerning. Ive just been too angry that i got used to coping with it in ways that i apply it everyday so now i dont get angry as any sane person would be. I think she just fucked me in the head from constant anger and distress .

When she gets physical I pretty much do that and it scares her and i feel like complete shit afterwards. It just makes shit worse though. She flips out more 10 mins later

and with a Sup Forums filename I wonder where i might have seen it..hmm...

Derp. What is this your first day dealing with girls?

This is what women do in relationships, dude.
They don't give a shit about petty, insignificant things like "logic" or "being reasonable".
No no, they have feelings, lots and lots of feelings, and they want each of those feelings to be important to you, like a special snowflake.
When she says things like "you dont care about me" or another popular one "i just dont feel like you feel the same way i do about you", she doesn't want you to sit there and analyze the problem and come up with the most efficient solution. Nooo, you're a man and you surely don't have enough of that on your plate. She wants you to actively engage her about her feelings, spend time and energy trying to fix them, get frustrated when you can't, yell and then storm out, and then eventually come back and apologize for losing your cool, upon whence she will reward you with sexual favors, which will diminish in frequency and intensity as your relationship goes on.

Literally, the only way to fix this is to do important shit. Seriously, engage yourself in something that is so important and involved that you have no choice but to spend less time with her over all. When she sees this happening, she will get upset and start to miss you, and then be compelled by scarcity to spend the time she has with you appreciating you and making you happy, rather than getting bored and bitching because you're always around.

You're welcome.

Sad but probably true

I dated a girl like this for two years because I'm codependent. Here's the truth:

You don't fix it. You can't fix it. You're going to either spend a long time pulling your hair out trying to "fix" her but in the end, you will accomplish nothing and you will make yourself unhappy.
YOU CAN NOT FIX HER. STOP FUCKING TRYING
You should let her grow up and sort her own issues out. In other words, it's time to break up.

she is your issue, she sounds like an immature asshole, it shouldnt be on you to "fix" her.

find somebody better.

Best friend and his gf loves her. She's fine in public.

This is a reason why i dont get physical because then she has more of a reason to keep complaining" WHY DID YOU HIT ME?!" Likee jesus fuck they should know but they only want more attention

Find a new hole to play

is that egg thing real cause thats pretty cool

>I don't like the person she's turning me into

Grow up, pussy. You are responsible for your own thoughts and actions. This is exactly the kind of shit you hate about her, so take some fucking responsibility for yourself. If you hit her, then it's YOU that made the choice to hit her. Quit being such a little bitch.

>rape/abuse charge incoming

First time I've ever posted this

only real advice in this thread

God, you sound so autistic.
>The only way to stop her mind games is to play mind games with her

gb2 /r9k/

9/10

Stop needing her.

...

I remember once we were wrestling and then for some fucking reason she starts to yell rape. Soon after she smiles and stares me in the eye. I just lost it and fucking yelled at her why she falsely accused me of fucking rape. Like she thought it was a god damn joke but that shit aint funny anymore when you can go to prison for that shit. Like god damn who the fuck does that?!

absolute truth. women make no sense.
accepting this is your zen.

He's right you know, spending too much time together causes this shit

If you dont see truth in this you have probably never been in a relationship that lasted more than 6 months.

1)tell that thot to btfo
2)get a new one
3)repeat

>she will get upset and start to miss you
aaand thats when she just fucks someone else

probably has a rape fantasy

When I fking do this, my gf says something like "Fuck you user, you dont even love me anymore"
She's very sensitive and emotional, so if I say "I dont love you anymore" or just nothing at all she'll probably break up with me, she keeps guilt tripping me into doing everything she wants and I can't escape it, I just care about her too much

hit her and she will shut up

How much do you care about her OP?
If you are too emotional for her, stay with her and support her, push her to be better than the brat you currently see her as, also get on with your own life, don't prioritize trying to change her.

That being said, no one can change someone else, if someone wants to change it's up to them. Male or female, black or white. Either accept her in hopes that she will eventually find the way and even try and open her eyes or leave her if it's too unbearable and the emotions just aren't strong enough. Try and make her see what she's doing isn't right before you leave & try explaining. Don't say the same thing more than once though, don't waste your breath, if she doesn't listen then leave.

this

life's too short to waste it fixing things

Wrong.
Women seek out significance in men. Their individual definition of that is a combination of how they themselves define it and how the man defines it.

If you aren't spending time around your woman because youre too busy playing Battlefield and eating stouffers pot pie out the microwave and jalapeno cheetos every night because the flamin hot ones suck ass, you're damn right shes gonna cheat on your ass. Your spending time away from her for the sake of spending time away from her. Thats like the textbook definition of neglecting someone.

If you're spending time away from her because you really are doing something important and productive that you're passionate about, she's not going to feel neglected, she's going to start to feel inadequate. She's going to go "fuck fuck FUCK I know what he's doing is really important to him, and I know he cares about me because he still spends time with me, but *I* want to be the most important thing in his life. How do I do that?"

Then she'll start being really nice and sweet to you and cooking you meals and doing your laundry and sucking on each nut individual how you like it. That's the end game. Just don't ever let your passion and pursuit of your thing diminish, whatever it is.

bump

This sounds like good advice.
Got any more?

So it basically is to make her feel the emotion of "Once its gone you would miss it"?

Perhaps, you could do some self reflection. You might actually discover that you not perfect. Narcissistic piece of shit.

shes insecure, dump her, post her nudes... you will feel better ... as will the /b community.

first its temper not tempur.

and she sounds like a woman. take note, this is what you get when you raise a girl like a princess.

james gang her
>walk away

Punch her in her fucking face

Are you saying you would abandon the house before you try calling an exterminator?

>How do you deal with a literal brat and girl that throws tempur tantrums?
Treat her like a brat.

>How do you fix it?
When she's being good, be good to her. When she's misbehaving, withdraw.

ok

...

Get rid of her, don't be a loser and have loser kids.

oh man. OP we're the same person. My GF is smart enough to know that I'm her best shot at a happy future though. So she's bitch and moan and talk about how I don't care about her but at the end of the day either I'm happy or she's not.

As it pertains to what? Ask me a specific question, receive specific answers.

Not necessarily fear of loss. It's kinda cruel to intentionally give a woman you care about the impression that you might leave at any minute.

I used the word scarcity in my previous post. The idea is to make your time valuable. If you spend most of your time doing something socially/monetarily significant, then she is going to perceive your time as more valuable, and how do we treat valuable things? We want more of them. She going to work to make the time you spend with her more enjoyable so that important-ass you will want to be around her more. All of the work she puts in to keep you happy will make her perceive you as more important to her life. Self-sustaining cycle.

Mine throws teriyaki tantrums. Feel you

How great explained, user. Thanks for the advice. It really makes sense

Punch her in the face

The only reason i can think of is if she's also physically 12 years old