Gona be traveling next week and plan to hit the clubs posing as a vet for some quick tail...

gona be traveling next week and plan to hit the clubs posing as a vet for some quick tail. wana make sure i got a story that checks out. nothing unbelievably glorious, just a guy who served in iraq and saw combat. i got the look, i just need the background. any info would be appreciated.

inb4 stolen valor/ur a faggot/i hope i see u and break your neck/how dare you dishonor troops blah blah blah. deal with it.

>being this autistic

How about instead of making up stories about yourself to get girls to like you you get some fucking confidence and learn how to talk to women without lying every word through your fucking teeth?

/thread

no. and i hope you fail.

stolen valor for some pussy?

you are pathetic.

here's a story:

you served one tour but we're medically discharged for being ALMOST raped to death by an iraqi death squad.

see, not to glorious, don't want to exaggerate too much, want it to be believable...

dipshit

This is now a cringe thread. I lost already.

not to mention your picture file name says "soldier" but that it clearly a marine.

just pathetic...

this thread is giving all of Sup Forums cancer...

...

what does "i got the look" mean. please post pic op please

ITT: OP really expects military anons to give him advice on how to pretend to be in the military

Marine here. You're a fucking faggot, OP.

wow. i expected some butthurt but not this much. when did you guys become moralfags? you need to lighten up. if youre a vet be glad you made it home alive and spend your time with your wife. me scamming some chicks at a bar shouldn't be a threat to you.

youre a marine posting on an anime message board in the middle of the night/asscrack of dawn? the ptsd must be hitting you hard tonight bro.

I got convicted of stolen valor once OP. Don't do it. That's my honest advice.

As a Marine who actually saw combat that was not pretty, I sincerely wish I could throttle you.

Not that guy, but fuck yourself. yut rah semper kill

>be you
>be PAC clerk
>on the FOB at BIAP
>eating McDonalds
>hear incoming mortar attack
>nothing happens
>return to CHU and play Xbox the rest of night
>you repeated that for 9 months

Figure out the acronyms yourself faggot

Ohhh ya.

its not a crime. they know well enough not to kill me and i can press charges and get them locked away for a long, long time. they know the score.

lmao, I used to come back from weeks of being outside the wire and be astonished that those POGs were getting paid the same as me to go to the gym and play xbox at the Camp Leatherneck rec center

we all have dreams and ambitions. mine just don't involve other men.

i just lost the game

isn't a marine some kind of soldier?

Make sure to tell them you were too stupid to earn a real living so you sought a "career" in which you could suck the teat of the government while defending major oil companies as a pawn for the industrial military complex.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

wearing a uniform and walking around is one thing.

wearing a uniform to try and get some type of advantage or committing fraud posing as a military member is a CRIME.

OP, you can go to jail.

sure you're just trying for some tail. but what will happen is, in the moment you will get carried away and either try and survive some "benefit" or say the wrong thing and end up taking your meals from a straw for a month.

i've literally seen it happen both ways with fools trying to fake it.

if you spent half the effort working on yourself as you did trying to be something g your not you wouldn't have any problems.

Why military? Because there is something about Military men, they have Honor, Integrity, Strength of Character, Confidence, etc...

that's what woman find attractive.

so go do that, as yourself. You'all need pussy repelant if you just learn it me a real man.

Pretending to be a junior doctor is better, I pounded a lot of chicks using that.
There's the added bonus of it causing less butthurt if you get caught out.
>must honor muh soldiers they fought for u, like dis if u agre.

lol, right? no idea why bitches eat up the "i were a soljur" line but they do every single time and then act all surprised when something triggers their ptsd and they use it as an excuse to beat her.

seriously, you guys were just breathing, bleeding currency of the bilderberg group.

the law applies to money, property, or other tangible benefit. not tricking a couple dumb drunk bitches into a threesome.

>muh valor.

Retards.

lol why would you pose being ex military? they're fucking beta dude, pose as an investment banker

this shit right here. people are dumb enough to deify rednecks who sign up to play g.i joe in the desert against a bunch of brown rednecks. theyre begging to get scammed.

>you will need a scar on your face
Heat up a knife cut your face
>you will also need a bullet wound so maybe shoot your self
If no gun heat up a screw driver and repeatedly stab your thigh until it looks like a bullet wound
>you will also need a few names of your brothers in arms who you shot due to friendly fire
>do some meth so you tweak a lot (stress disorder)
Hope this helps user
BEFORE EVERYONE STARTS WITH STOLEN VALOUR BULLSHIT MURICANS HAVE NO VALOUR

yes that would work every time, leave this military shit alone, some girls actually don't like the elites hired goon squad

OP here. done that before and it works, but it attracts a very particular type of woman. they look 10/10 but their concept of freaky is doggystyle.

good point

already have a scar on my cheekbone and two on my thigh that look like bullet wounds. so im good. the rest i think we both know what youre getting at. no.

no.

A Marine is a Marine

A soldier is in the Army.

derives from their original purposes.

(i'm Army so if there's a marine and i fuck this up, correct me)

Marines originally were the men in Navy vessels responsible for raiding and boating other ships, protecting the ship from other raiders and also for securing landing ports, docks, beachheads, Marinas. Thus Marines. The Navy technically cMe before the army and the Marines at that time were a part of the navy. Thus why they are technically the "first". I believe the Marines are still technically under the Navy but also their own separate service. Ask a Marine.

A soldier is a member of an organized land based military force or Army. and Army is a land based fighting force or group.

In the modern day military, Soldiers and. Marines at times perform the same dutys. however, the Army has infinitely more "jobs" that they do like building g roads, etc...

the Marines, though they do have those types of jobs, No. 1 mission is to kick the enemy's fucking ass from here to the fucking moon and back. EVERY marine is a rifleman first.

there are soldiers who touch there weapon once a year at qualification.

A Marine would never be allowed to get away with that shit... not for very long at least.

the quick version.

As ex military i swear to god id put you in a hospital bed if id caught u on that shit while i was out drinking.

Here's your story: You were a MOS 31K based at Camp Taji 2006-2007 but got a General Discharge for running a sex ring. They were going to go for a full court martial but the other involved wouldn't testify.

i know you would, but you won't, and i don't care :)

lmfao wow so much pride for a fucking group. be a fucking individual and realize that the world is more nuanced than "military honor"

I have served in iraq and can help you BUT FUCK YOU you are a disgrace to Sup Forums

>touch there weapons
>there weapons
>there

like Sup Forums has a code of honor. give it a fucking rest dramaqueen. go back to reading stars and stripes.

tell them you killed OBL but it wasn't like they told it in the press m8 it works every time

t. Belgian user

your concept of 'realisim' is thready at best isnt it?

its not gonna be believable at all if you cant break out some funny BMT stories, literally everyone has a few

roflol youre a sick man OP. these faggots are going to waste their entire next weekend passing up easy pussy left and right with their heads on swivel looking for you.

>picking up girls that fall for military guys
>expecting war stories on the narrative level of tolstoy and dostoevsky

HURR DUR I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT, IT WAS SO HARD DEFENDING AMERICAN HONOR IN IRAQ, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH IT STILL KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT SOMETIMES! btw? do you want another drink?

fucking easy

already got a few of those from guys i know in my city.

Please be from Chicago.
Please please, be from Chicago, and watch your friends get plowed in the streets.

ppfhahaha, your whole next weekend is going to be nothing but paranoid rage as you spend your night at the clubs stalking dudes who you think might possibly be me.

maybe i am from Chicago ;)

It's okay mate...
I went through an 8 month deployment sweeping for mines.
Came back to Kyrgyzstan to use the phone FOR REAL for the first time, only to hear an airmen next to me bitch about how bad it is IN CAMP FUCKING MANAS.

It IS a crime if you use it for financial benefits

This guy don't know basic military history.

Saying that kind of shit is how they know you never served.

op here. thanks bros!

i might be a faggot but im not stupid.

>HURR DUR I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT
no one will ever say that about BMT stories

If you ever decide to wear the uniform WEAR IT APPROPRIATELY.
There are military orders for HOW to wear them. Also you can google the ribbon precedence.

>he has to lie to get laid

OP here. so here's what i got so far.
combat engineer. served in iraq. mine sweeper. donwanatalkabout it. whine about POGs
combined with
funny stories about BMT

The only places where the women will care, are also full of men who aren't lying.

dude you don't need specific stories for these sluts, you're just implanting an idea in their head by saying your military.... i apologize but i dont even know what BMT is, but the point is just fire off some generic shit under the cloud of ptsd and you'll be fine, probably better off tbh

I'm not from Chicago.

not wearing a uniform to a club. just a tight fitting tshirt and some jeans. i got the idea after i got my hair cut a little shorter than i wanted the other day and thought "god i look like a vet who cant let go, dont i?" decide im going to just roll with it.

yeah thats basically what im going for. if i make the story too accurate and detailed they'll suspect something.

Basic military training

watch the first part of full metal jacket

"Combat Engineer"
You better be ready to know the MOS code for that in the branch of service you wish to scam out.
You better be ready to know which base in Iraq you were in. And which district it was in.
You better be ready to know which UNIT, and when they were there.
It's not hard to piece together the stories because our government is dumb enough to reveal rotations to the enemies.

If you life is so boring and uninteresting that you need to fake being a soldier than sir, good luck trying to convince someone you are.

gotcha, thanks

nice ameritard logic


google solidus pls

it doesn't matter what branch

like youve never adjusted the truth to get the upper hand on a situation ever. get over it.

Just play on a realism server on ArmA, lots of vets and it's the same thing

gotcha, i have seen but didn't remember the term. thanks

Just tell her you're a desperate fucking faggot. She'll believe you.

you can tell from this post why you joined the army

OP, non-milfag here, the key is speaking confidently using jargon that only military know, and talking about the places you served. Lots of pronounceable acronyms, letter number combos, Iraqi cities. Since you don't know any, you just wing it.

"Oooh, so what do combat engineers do user?"

"Well, I was a 7T, so mostly maintain the jingbops for the h10s, but in Al Joojaboo, my squad lost our com-x, so I had to koklol the 55ers too."

"Omg you poor thing! My pussy is sooo wet it lubed my ass, I can't wait, fuck me bent over the barstool so I can thank Daddy for his service!"

...

My god dude. Fucking pathetic

>Check em

>Be you, SPC FaggotOP
>Deployed to FOB Marez, Mosul Iraq. 2010-2011: Op New Dawn
>Belong to 3rd BCT 1st CavDiv
>Worked as supply clerk
>Spent most of deployment playing Wow

Hope you don't run into someone who was actually military, even the little things will give you away.

That's our scam, faggot. You didn't earn it. I have more respect for someone who washed out of boot and still gets VA benefits, because at least they enlisted. That's more than you've done.

I don't need health insurance because I get VA health care bitch

...

>posing as a vet for some quick tail
This ain't gonna work nimrod.

Chicks don't have this Tom Clancy fetish. You're not gonna get them wet by ranting about your k/d ratio or throwing military jargon from ghost recon at them.

How about you focus on their feelings instead and don't detract from it with gunporn. Let them know you can make them feel with a woman, not that you're stuck fetishizing action movies.

>feel with a woman
*like a woman, though both would work for you OP, femboi