Hey Sup Forums

Hey Sup Forums

>Be me
>19 years old
>Living with Parents
>went to college for a bit
>Took blowoff classes
>been dealing with depression for 7 years
>attempt suicide
>Drop out of college
>Now have loan debt
>TFW no money
>I can't pay my loan
>Parents can't help
>I can't get federal aid
>All this stress is weighing on me
>Starting to feel suicidal again
>Increasingly more depressed
>Less motivated to do things
>Afraid that I'm going to just break down soon


I really hate feeling this way but the stress is too fucking much for me right now, can some Sup Forumsro throw me a bone and give me some tips on my financial shit and possibly my mental shit? I'm so stressed that I'm actually getting sick over it. Please help.

>Tl;Dr OP is stressed about money, as well as being depressed and suicidal. OP needs tips on how to help himself.

>Pic related

Other urls found in this thread:

medicaid-guide.org/new-jersey-medicaid?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search_nj_Kwd_medicaid&gclid=CNncpLWSs9ECFdTJsgodW1YOKQ
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Are you currently working? I don't know about erasing yoir debt. But, you might be able to defer them for a little bit.

I am not currently working, I need to get a job but I am having loads of difficulty. If it explains anything, I live in Illinois.

(Same user) Or if you are seeing a medical professional for your depression you could probably defer loans for that as well. I know that when I was first stating to pay off my loans they got deferred for just a little bit because I needed to have another brain/spine surgery.

Living is almost always the best choice. You only live once in all eternity. Your situation does not warrant suicide. At the very worst, what can a debt collector do? It's not like you have anything they can really take

I am not currently seeing a medical professional because I have no money at all to do so.

I know that, and I don't actually believe I'm going to kill myself, I just really hate the feeling of helplessness and just wanting to end my life.

'tis true..the only reason I honestly didn't just blow off not paying my loans is because my aunt is a co-signer and it would mess her credit up (and she gets notified if I don't pay it..which I of course found out the hard way). But I totally agree with you, killing yourself over loans isn't the best final solution. Have you tried calling your loan company about reducing monthly payments? (mine dropped a few hundred dollars a month after I did that).

I am in NJ so I don't quite know what the laws are out there, but if you aren't working do you qualify for Medicaid?

I'm pretty sure I have to be 65 or older to qualify for medicaid.

That's Medicare..Medicaid is only income based.

My loan payment currently isn't super high, I just stress a ton and have a boatload of anxiety over things, which tends to trigger depression, which in-turn leads to suicidal tendencies.

These are the results I found, looking for medicaid eligibility.

And these is the SSA definition of disability. I'm not entirely certain that my depression falls under thus category. So to answer your question, I'm not sure if I can qualify for medicaid

I tend to get stressed and depressed over random shit in my life too, thinking how I'm a failure, and how I have basically no friends.
What helps me, is trying to calm down a bit, and thinking about it logically.

I'm not exactly sure how the whole thing with college loans works, but:
You don't currently own anything that debt collectors could take from you, correct?
If so, then for the moment, you don't have to worry about it, since nothing REALLY bad can happen because of the loan. You'll be able to get the money once you get your mental state in order. Admittedly, dealing with depression and lack of motivation is kind of a life long endeavour.

So, talking about your depression. Can you explain what's bothering you? Do you know yourself, or is it just a shitty feeling that you can't get over?

Fair enough..it was just the first thing that came to my mind.

Been down for a year after droping college. Im still taking antidepressive pills, but I managed to get a job as a construction lavorer, now I'm doing better. My advice is: get a job, It will keep your mind away from suicidal thoughts. Talk about how do you feel with the people around you, do not isolate yourself.

I dealt with a lot of harsh bullying in junior high, I would get beat up constantly, and I was cast out from other people, nobody liked me at all back then. I can say that was the start of it, it only progressed further in 9th grade when I got into a relationship and was forced to do some things I wasn't okay with. After they broke up with me, they blamed me and made me feel like shit, this caused me to start blaming myself for everything and thinking I was never good enough. So now I'm 19 and I still have issues thinking I'm not good enough and I'm afraid of disappointing people. I don't want to disappoint my parents and I don't want to be disappointed in myself. I'm afraid of fucking up, I know if I fuck up with the whole loan thing, I will feel like a failure and do nothing but blame myself. Which will bring me deeper into depression and will further my situation. I can't really explain it past that point. It has gotten so bad that I'm losing sleep over it and getting sick.

I appreciate it man, it was a good suggestion.

>Kys
Or
>Run the fuck away and turn into a hobo
Or
>Maybe even ultimately ignore it, it might eventually go away on its own

I try to talk about it with people, but nobody seems to listen. I get a lot of nods and, "Uh-huh". I can't talk to my girlfriend about it because she gets super upset and can't help the situation in the slightest. I wish there was someone that understood and listened, that I don't have to pay for. I'm sure I have a few friends that listen, but they don't really understand what I'm trying to say.

Kill someone, that always works

OP here; If I don't pay this loan, won't it destroy my credit before I even get to that point?

Okay user, good idea

Maybe yourself OP

No, but seriously if i were you i would kill myself

I don't actually want to get to that point though, that's the thing. I want to get out of the slump of constantly having suicide on the back of my mind. I want to live my life.

That's what I'm trying to avoid.

fuck it man there's nothing to worry about. put that shit on the back burner

How though? My first loan payment is due and I don't have the money to fucking pay for it. I don't understand how I can "put it on the back burner" it doesn't make sense

>fucking crybaby
Of you are already doing nothing, get a job, pay your shit or go kill yourself.
Do anything about it.
Go and break a traffic light.
You don't even care about your future, and you hope someone else will solve your shit.
If you ever come out of this you will fall back into something similar and ask for someone else to help.

Holy shit you just described me 100%...

I don't really know how to explain this, but I've been feeling much better recently.

The thing that makes me feel better is basically this:
You can choose to be happy, the other shit will follow.

I've been depressing about being a fuck up both socially and at uni. I'm a 22 YO kissless virgin. My only friends are basically my brother and his friends that I've kinda been hanging out with since childhood, but none of them are people I talk to often, so I tend to spend months without any actual social connection (except for my parents). I've had to stop my uni courses for a year because I've failed too many classes to continue, and I have to repeat them before I can resume my studies properly.

All of this made me feel like a failure, only making me feel worse, and basically throwing me into a circle of depression:
I feel like a failure -> I get more depressed -> I'm unmotivated to do anything to improve my situation -> I feel even more like a failure -> and repeat

What has helped me recently is basically coming to the understanding that I can choose to be happy, or at least contempt with that I have and who I am.
I'm a failure? Sure, maybe I am. Does stressing over it help me not be a failure? No, it actually makes it way worse. So the logical conclusion is to be happy with who I am now, and after that's done, to try and improve bit by bit.

Basically what I'm saying is try and understand that happiness doesn't come from being successful, it comes from just being ok with being yourself.

I'm just asking for tips mate. Tips on how to HELP MYSELF and how to get out of the slump of feeling suicidal. I know I need to get a fucking job, and I have been applying to everywhere around me, without reliable transportation I am very limited as to where I can go. Also; I have not asked for a handout, I will not ask for a hand out. Asking for advice and asking for someone to pay for your shit are two completely different things. I want to become an electrician, have a steady job and do something with my life but currently I am unable to do so. In conclusion; fuck you.

Thanks user, I'll really try to work on that. I try to relax and not stress about the things that are bothering me, but it always comes back to me. Being successful isn't necessarily what I'm worried about, it's being completely destitute that I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of being so utterly fucked that I can't do anything about it and I'll be in a financial crisis for the rest of my life. I'm not special, I'm just some average cunt who will probably just go and do a shit job his whole life. I have no breakthroughs or anything exciting to share, so I have to work my way up to something. I'm just extremely afraid of complete failure that I can't recover from.

Another thing that might help you feel less stressed is finding out exactly what happens if you don't pay your loans.

So your first payment is coming up, and you don't have the money to pay for it. Do you know exactly what happens if you don't pay it?
I'm pretty sure they can't really do much to you if you don't pay it, but I suggest that you find out exactly what happens.
Not knowing what's going to happen is extremely stressful, so find out.

That's actually a good idea user, thank you for that.

No, you are asking for advice on Sup Forums

Son. You're going to be okay. Life is happening to you - you need to happen to life. Develop a plan. Work that plan every day. Leave this place.

Yes, I am asking for advice on Sup Forums. And generally, I get friendly people who try to help another user out. But, then I get the stupid fucking niggers like yourself who just want to act like belligerent assholes for the hell of it. Find something better to do, you twat.

I honestly doubt that you'll be a complete failure.
Most people who end up being complete failures are the people who just give up/who never really cared.
You care. You want to have something. You want to be ok.
All I can suggest now is to figure out your situation properly (like I said in the above post, figure out how the loan works and what happens if you miss payments), and to try and be fine with being somewhat of a failure at the moment.
You're 19, you're basically still a kid (so am I tbh), understand that a huge amount of people your age have no fucking idea how to live.
Just try and be ok with your situation. Hell, you're trying to find a job, so it's not like you completely lack motivation to do shit. You'll be fine, just don't stress yourself out too much.

I have been contemplating joining the military so I can actually have a path to follow and something to keep me motivated. But I'm really not sure because I don't want to leave my girlfriend and friends behind. It's just a tough decision.

Thanks user, I'll follow that advice. I always spend a lot of time stressing over so much that I can't really advance into something. I also never develop a plan, which is something I need to do. I guess I just need to try to relax a bit. I think one of the main causes of my stress is my parents, they keep telling me, "If you don't pay this, your credit will be RUINED, it will ruin your life before it even begins, etc etc."

Right, I forgot Sup Forums wasn't the place where smart people gather to analyze and enjoy loli porn
He doesn't care, he is going to be a fuckup his entire life
Won't happen, too pussy for that
What a piece of learning
>I'm stressed
>don't be

You must be fun a parties.

not exactly sure how credit works, but even if you fuck it up a bit now, it's fixable.
Parents tend to do that, they blow everything out of fucking proportion.
Also ignore the troll, he's clearly on his last legs, getting desperate I guess.

Dubs don't lie

It's just really worrying when you have someone you've went to for advice your whole life turn around and tell you it will destroy your life if you don't do this specific thing and it will make you life miserable. You know what I mean? I try hard not to stress but when I have such an influential figure in my life telling me I'm not stressing enough, it gets to me.

It's student loan debt. They literally do nothing except for take your tax returns. It's an unsecured loan. What are they gonna do take the diploma away you didn't get?

yeah, I basically have the same situation with my parents.
Try to explain to them that what they're doing is only making matters worse and that you understand why they're worried.
Helped a bit with my parents, they still nag a bit, but at least they stop when I tell them that it's ok and that I'm on it.

I guess you're right, it just really bothers me because I feel helpless and sort of pathetic for not having the money to pay it. Just kind of makes me feel shitty.

It should

understand that there's no way you could have the money really.
Your parents aren't rich, you're only 19 and you can't find any job, even though you're searching for one.
Lot's of people are in similar situations, you'll be fine.

I can try this again, but it seems every time I try to explain to my parents that they're doing something that isn't necessarily helping the situation, they get angry with me and tell me I'm being stubborn or argumentative, or trying to make them feel like shit. Which, isn't the case but they take it that way.

moonshine... losts of nbsdmnoshine i case you cant access drugs

I guess you're right, my father is the only one working, I have 5 siblings under the same roof (The oldest being 22) and I have no money. It's really shitty but I guess I have to accept that fact and try to move forward from it.

I'm not too keen on becoming an alcoholic, I don't think it'll help my financial situation

damn this is very similar to my parents.
I don't know what your relationship with them is, but it worked better when I tried to talk about it in a cheery tone, and not after arguing, but just as a random thing that I just brought up.
It's easier to explain if they don't think you're angry or being a dick, which helps them get what you're saying.

So fucking original bro, good work

See, I try that, because I'm not a particularly argumentative person, but it always leads to one of them being offended (Generally my mother, my dad is more understanding) I get along with them well, but we argue a lot when I try to bring up something that is bothering me.

Get a job. While working, finish your degree at your ocal community college or find a technical school so that you can learn a trade, it is always good to have a skillset to fall back on (assuming you don't have one right now, at 19 you're young enough to to be fine). DOn't worry too much about the loan, but be aware of it- in other words don't forget about it but don't let it weigh on you, since at this point in time it is out of your hands.

What are you depressed about? I recommend enjoying the smaller things in life, sounds like some airy bullshit but seriously try just thinking in a positive way, and work on self improvement- that will always give you something to smile about if you are constantly bettering yourself in some way.

lmao, OP. You're in a total position of power. When I was about to lose my house the IRS wanted to literally take it away from them with 400k still being owed on it from me and I could only put 87k on it so they'd literally be losing 300k for a jointed house, I won't go into details but, they'd lose money trying to take my possessions as opposed to just me losing them on my own or paying it off over time. When people try to collect the money you don't have you become in the ultimate position of power because they can't just kill you like you owe a mob boss. You can pay 5 dollars a month and look like you're trying. The government may not seem it but they know they can't squeeze blood from a turnip.

I can't 100% explain what I'm depressed about other than the feeling of being a failure and the fear of disappointing my family. Other than those things I just feel depressed, I used to be on medication and I used to have a therapist, but I ended up not being able to pay for that anymore. I feel like I did before I started going to therapy. I want to become an electrician, but I was thinking of going through the military to get that done, I'm just hesitatant of leaving my girlfriend and my friends behind.

yeah, this shit is basically exactly the same with my parents (my mother getting angry at shit, while my dad is more understanding, though he's more argumentative about shit)
Understand that they mean well, and try and pick your battles.

Also, have you talked to them about you being kinda depressed?
I've kinda talked about it, and they were a bit more understanding after that.
Never really told them the full extent of how I feel, but explaining that you're trying to better yourself because you're not feeling great makes them chill out a bit from what I've seen.

I appreciate that user, even though I'm not losing my house or anything serious like that, I still can't help but get myself worked up over it, or stressed out about it.

Delaying the inevitable death by your own hands
Or a rope
Or bleach

I ended up having a really bad breakdown, and I was convinced to talk to my parents, I did and they got me to a therapist. I was going to her for a while until I couldn't pay for it anymore. So, I stopped going to therapy, and stopped taking my meds.

Bleach seems like such an unfriendly death.

Step 1: Stop being a bitch.
Step 2: Stop being a bitch who shitposts on Sup Forums.
Step 3: Make an attempt at not giving a fuck.
Step 4: Lube up and fuck the world.

well if they continue to nag you, just try and explain that you're not feeling great, but that you're trying.

Also, someone mentioned this before, but you should really check out if you qualify for medicaid. I'm not from the US, but from what I understand, you might qualify, since you have no income, and you have a record of having depression (I assume).
Was looking up a bit, and there's a website talking more about it. Even has some number where you can call to learn more I think.
Check it out, worst case scenario you won't get it, best case, you can get a therapist, which imo can help a lot with keeping your shit sorted.

Grab the bull by the horns and take a hold of your fucking life!!! Sounds like it's gonna a long road to make yourself happy. But it'll be worth it. Keep on trucking, don't fuckin quit!!

Thanks user, do you have the link to that site? It's worth checking out. I really ought to thank you properly, the advice really means a lot, I was a fucking mess when I made this post and all of the kind anons really helped me out. I appreciate it.

I feel like "grabbing the bull by the horns" requires money, and resources that I don't have. How can I do what I want with my life if I can't fund myself through it? Thank you for the advice though, I appreciate it.

from what I understand you're from new jersey, so this might help. There's a phone number and work hours somewhere down there.

medicaid-guide.org/new-jersey-medicaid?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search_nj_Kwd_medicaid&gclid=CNncpLWSs9ECFdTJsgodW1YOKQ

And you're welcome, user. I've had shitty days myself, and kind anons here helped me out too, so I guess I'm just returning the favor.

Actually, I'm OP, from Illinois. Thanks though mate, I really appreciate this.

same boat somewhat

needless degree from comm college

boozed and partied on excess financial aid

didnt get dream career fast enough

went thru a very hard financial hardship for a couple of years

there is light at the end of the tunnel user

my advice?

1. get intouch with your loan creditor and weigh options such as deferment, forbearance, or income based payments which at one point mine were as low as 5$/mo

2. do not put your head in sand... the debt and by proxy your depression will only grow the further you let that little demon bug you thru your day to day struggle

3. resolution even in some small aspect might give your relief and even a glimmer of that light i was talking about

if your loans have already gone into collections (like mine did) they have income based forgiveness programs

seriously man, its not so bleek, there are doctors and lawyers in the same boat

just my 2 cent but colleges can sometimes be more of a scam than a step forward

ahh, thought that was you before.
Still, the site has all kinds of shit about it, you can probably find info about your state too.

And yeah, no problem, hope you feel better.

I'm going to talk to my loan department about deferment today, I'm hoping they will be lenient and will try to help me out but I have a sneaking suspicion that they won't. Also; I realized that college is sort of a scam rather than an advantage in life. And it's so god damn expensive, I don't understand why.

I'm sure I can, have a good one user. I really appreciate this man, more than I can really express.

>19 years old
>went to college for a bit
>Now have loan debt
This is what's wrong with your country. How is shit like this even possible?
Germanfag here. Typically, it goes like this: at 19, I had just finished school and went on to do alternative civilian service (it was still mandatory back then). I was almost 21 when I started going to university - which was free of course. Besides, you could also get financial help and have to pay back only half of it. That was used for living in your own apartment and paying bills and shit.
I know this doesn't help you, OP, but I always get angry when I hear stories like yours. It's your society and therefore your government that make situations like this possible.
>inb4 "communism" and other made-up bullshit to defend a stupid system like that

OP, maybe you can go to some sort of organization who get a lawyer that can help you get rid of some debts. And get a fucking job.

you got this bro , fuck life and win . drink tigers blood

simply put... a university is a business in and of itself

and like any business, their trying to make as much overhead as possible, its just sad that young aspiring minds suffer and fall in the cracks sometimes

as far as if they will, they pretty much have to... they cant get too aggressive with repayment aslong as you stay intouch, keep them informed, and are making some attempt no matter how small to pay the debt back

there are laws that protect you as a borrower... looking into some of those might give you solace aswell

trust im sure they are dealing with 100 cases just like yours or worse

The only real option for me to erase my loan debt is to join the military, they will completely take care of it for me.

join military, get your shit straight

Thanks user, I know there are a lot of people my age racking up loan debt. My older brother, who was in college for 2 years has over 300K in student loan debt. Luckily he isn't in the same financial fuckhole that I'm in.

Exactly what I have been thinking of doing.

godspeed man.

I want to get through this so I can actually try to live.