Sex advice?

sex advice?

first time having sex, what should i know in advance

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return the slab

PENIS
GOES
INSIDE
VAGINA

the girl is gonna laugh at you.

you're probably what? 23 or some shit, see normal people start fucking by at least 15. When you're still growing up and trying to not be awkward and cringey.

That being said you're going to be awkward and cringey

It will only last 30 seconds just have fun then prepare for round 2

It's more fun than it looks.

First times are almost always shit. Try to laugh and not take it too seriously. It will probably seem strange to you that life is continuing on as normal afterwards.

im 15,i think im entitled to be cringey

reported
have fun trying to pleasure a hoe with 4"

bamhammer incoming...

dammit

its not going to be anywhere as good as you imagine it to be.

stay at home, shitpost on Sup Forums and jerk off to traps.

jk im 24 but i didnt want you to win. guess i fucked myself there.

Whatever you do, do not touch the tri-boob hidden in the vagina until her ear-clint percolate. Disaster awaits if you touch it before percolation.

this. honestly.

fuck her right in the pussy

i have no idea of what you just said

that's because you're a virgin

agreed. one time i grazed it before she percolated...worst time of my life

im assuming its when the vagina opens and allows air to flow through?

Here is a vagina
You put your peepee in it
Not all of them look good
Be gentle unless she prods you to be rough
If you go to rub her clit, do it softly. I had a guy practically punch mine once.

post moar.

U like chubby vag or something?

this, a million times.

you dont want the teeth to pop out, or god forbid the beak, when you have your penis is anywhere near it.

not OP but do you have any advice for making a girl satisfied? not cumming, but just happy with the result

Jam it in. Every girl loves a good old fashioned sweaty grunting gorilla style slamfuck

sex is great but its not what you think its like, you probably watch a lot a porn and have these notions of what its like. When your actually have sex for the first the there is a the real possibility that you might be so nervous that you wont be able to get it hard enough to penetrate. My advice? let her blow you first, fool around with oral sex first, get comfortable being naked with a girl, then when your ready...murder her and fuck the corpse.

mfw the pussy too good

give her money and drugs.

hey me too

a good chuckle before bed. thanks user!

Well for me personally I like to know the guy is turned on by me. Pay attention to all parts of her, not just her puss. Make her feel attractive and like you only want to please her. That doesn't have to be your intention but the more you make her feel worthwhile, the more into it she will be.

Unless she is a completely stuck up hoe or a starfish. Then you get in, get out.

Here will share one more.

REETURRNN THE SLAAAB

Nostop that episode was actually scary

you have a nice pussy

Don't go online for advice. Communicate with the one you are about to bang.

This one is pretty important...

honest to god shocked that there is a slightly normal female who actually talks like regular person, not an attention seeker or a moron. you bypass tits/gtfo rule and actually put out good advice. thanks fam

i guess so, i just wanted to ask from people who had experience

practice putting on a condom, don't get stressed you may loose boner

No problem user. Do remember that every girl is different and don't be afraid to ask her what she likes. It's a really awkward question but it can save a lot of aimless bumbling.

Well you assumed wrong because you're dumb and those things weren't real

Then ask your dad

over communication is bad too. shit like "do you prefer if i shave"or "should i buy condoms" or other shit should NOT be asked to a girl really unless she tells you so in a sexual situation. I learned this the hard way, being a fucking moron.

>Sup Forums
>having experience with sex outside of being molested or fucking animals
>current year

also wont be as good as expected, sex without a condom on the other hand...

Fucking kek. I didn't know guys asked this stuff, ever.

Damn, now I want to be your friend.

its okay to have those conversations, i did. just don't come across as too nervous. girls like confidence

you missed shaving a spot by your fingers. but still.

Didnt even notice. Gonna go fix it. Cheers user

Don't forget OP, once the ear-clint percolate you have to pepper the shoobaloob. This step is not as important but a good foundation for a fun night. Once thoroughly peppered feel free to bring around town, BRING IT AROUND TOWN.

Any chance of more? Body? Face?

Don't go balls deep in her vagina s have teeth so if you put you penis in all the way you're head is gonna get bitten off trust

please update the photo when it's fixed :)

Can do body but not face. Can't risk connecting the two.

Here is aforementioned chubs

tbh i grew up playing those wetpussygames flash games. like the Meet'N'Fuck games on newgrounds. That taught me a lot about pleasing women.

lick his balls while you're giving him a blowjob. niggers love when you're licking their balls.

updated for 2017: her penis in your butthole

Pull back foreskin all the way before condom goes on, assuming uncut.

Half the fun of sex is peeling off the clothes before the dicking. Make it leisurely tbh fam.

To find G spot jab a couple fingers in and do a 'come here' beckoning motion: g spot is the front wall of her vag. You'll know youre hitting it if she's moaning like a whore and it feels corrugated. Rub that shit to get her warmed up, never fails.

If a position doesn't work cause angle is dodgy, eg height difference too large for missionary / girl on top to work then try another position.

All girls secretly wanna get slapped in the face. NOT all girls want that the first few times with a new fella. Neither do you I expect. Safest not to bother at first, but bear in mind for round 4+.

Good luck OP.

Oh wow, you're really fixing it. That's dedication.

women queef a lot. get used to farting noises during sex. super natural and normal. good pussy farts like crazy.

she'll make fun of your penis. flick your balls. laugh in your face. make you lick her out and suck her dick, but let you die with blue balls.

If you used lumberjack grip to masturbate don't expect the pussy to make you climax in 3 minutes. And Don't underestimate the power of nipples.

tbh you're not that chubby, i like it. can i get an ass pic?

I hate when the girl forces me to suck her dick.

nice! very cute, great tits, thanks!
9/10 would fap again

It is best to warm her up with some anal before going vaginal. Pull up her legs, spit on her asshole, and shove it in. After a few hard thrusts she will be begging for it in the pussy.

Kik or SC? Not op, but you have good advice and i need some too. Sup Forums is fucking awful for that..

I don't like fluffies.

What a good girl you are, but it's a shame I can't see your butt hole clearly. Very pretty pussy though, doll.

Sorry about that

...

Nice pussy. I'd like to swallow some piss out of it.

Okie but I should really go back to my game lol. Getting late.

Haha, that's okay. Do you wanna talk over kik? Mine is cookiemuncher889. I'd love to spot out other places you could clean up shaving, haha.

Just shove it up her pooper.. no lube.. no warning .. she will love it!

OR you could get a nice pic of your pussy and thighs with your legs spread open

threaded bout to 404 bbeetttt

Make sure you wear your seat belt.

I suppose in the time it would take to moan about how I want to play my game I could just take that picture.

Like this?

Naw

Just like that. You've got great legs

another with your finger in?

Top kek

i'd really kill to see a proper photo of your ass hole

Have suicidal flash backs of the war while licking off Ted Cruz's gigantic ass hole

all holes usable

youtube.com/watch?v=rtWJAPXiP_Y

Remember that whoever you are fucking, is a human being too. So talk to them about it before hand, what they want out of it, what you want, what turns you/them on.

It is gonna be awkward and it'll take getting used to, but just have fun with it.

not a very good image for me to think about while i eat swedish meatballs.

great show, really terrible that it was so short.

Depends on their gender or race.
Dome are more human than others.

remember to lie and say that this isn't your first time but you hit a dry spell for a while, if it's too late for that just try and be charming or some shit. Also if you have no finger popping game just spell the abc's with your tongue when you eat her out if there's foreplay involved.

Sorry bf woke up, saw what I was doing and fucked me lol. Here.

got any cumshot pics of you to share with us?

this

no fair not posting photos of freshly fucked pussy! but thanks user. you're a real one. def gonna cum to you tonight if that does it for you.

that's such a clean and pretty ass hole. can you post more?

Unfortunately no, he came on my tummy and I wiped it off. Sorry user

It really doesn't change much, just opens a bit

spread pussy + ass hole please?