DEPRESSION THREAD

DEPRESSION THREAD
a place to talk about depression, shit in llife and how your dealing with it.
cmon user, it's no fun crying alone lets do it together

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=W1ydK3z8nEc&ab_channel=TopTrendingNews
u.nya.is/ritagt.mp4
myredditnudes.com/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

depressed as fuck here, got on meds when i was younger (20) because i didn't know any better and i was having anxiety attacks daily

now i can't get off meds, i've tried 3 times, once i last 3 months without them and i felt like i had bugs crawling all over me and i cried for no reason and i was extremely irritable. i finally had to get back on them, i was going crazy. at least when i'm on them i don't go crazy, i just feel... blah

My mom died last month and I cannot find motivation for anything. It was hard before with just general depression but now everything is 10 times worse. I am in my last semester of school and I really am not sure what I can do to fix myself.

>18
>just fucked my first semester of college by being an idiot
>hate myself for it but too much of a pussy to do anything
>finally go in to see doctor about being depressed
>score really high on the questionnaires for both anxiety and depression
>told that getting a diagnosis costs a fortune
>always been a hard ass on people who claim to be depressed without diagnosis and now im in that boat
>been like this so long i dont remember what it feels like to not hate everything.
>dont think i will ever feel love, the closest i've come cucked me
FeelsBadMan

btw that was cymbalta withdrawals i was describing

fuck my life, i hate everything, i'm very bitter and angry and sad and really wish i'd just not wake up but not by my own hand, if that makes any sense

Anorexic here, depression cones hand in hand with my eating habits

Just starting a long diet plan today, hopefully I stick with it because I feel like a piece of shit if I cheat

>fuck my life, i hate everything, i'm very bitter and angry and sad and really wish i'd just not wake up but not by my own hand, if that makes any sense
i feel ya man...

those first two posts are me, i fucked up my first semester of college too. i just didn't care, i failed miserably. then i started having anxiety attacks and that's when i went to the psych hospital and they put me on meds. that was 16 years ago, i'm 36 now with a full time job, a house, a car, no gf, i just hate life

my doctor recently put me on meds and i cant tell if they're working cause i still feel like shit all day.

wish i had some advice for you user i really do hope you get better...

also, on top of this, my libido has completely fucking gone away

not even interested in porn

haven't jacked off in like 2 weeks and i don't have any desire too

also went to bed with an 6/10 face, 9/10 body Vietnamese 40 year old lady, had impotence problems. fucking sucks, couldn't get it up

it took a few weeks to notice anything at first, that was years ago though

now i just feel like shit, no more anxiety attacks though at least. but the depression is fucking enormous and heavy

the hardest bit of failing for me has been letting everyone know... i feel like i've always had this image of having everything under control and not worrying about things and now everybody gets to see that i'm just a fuck up who can even force himself to do anything about it :(

It does to me. I want to die as well but i cant do it myself

when my mom goes i'll want to kill myself

she was my best friend growing up

Both my parents are died in a horrific car crash a month ago and I am about to be charged for the fourth time because of public intoxication and resisting arrest. On top of this, I can't find a good place to livestream my suicide. If you could help me on the last part I would appreciate it

I've had depression for years but about 8 months ago I had many panic attacks induced by meds. Really fucked me up because I started to fear everything, would shake when I woke up every day and would watch the clock and want to die. Now I have no job and I woke up one day and lost all of my goals and desires out of nowhere and can't get it back. Anyone else like that? Even when depressed I used to feel like life was worth living, now I'm so lost and struggling to survive every minute.

i've been on them for nearly 2 months now and dont know if im not noticing anything cause they arent working or if it's cause im just fucked... i started on Escitalopram and now im on pristiq and neither seem to be doing anything

The shit that happened to me in the last 2 years:

>May 2015 brother commits suicide
>Sep 2015 my cat suddenly dies of kidney failure
>Sep 2015 My dad diagnosed with colon cancer
>Jan 2016 Grandma dies in her sleep
>Feb 2016 mother diagnosed with brain cancer
>Sep 2016 Fired from job because I seem depressed

I can get out of bed, take a shower, and the rest of the day I just lay on the couch, play video games or browse the internet. I think I'm depressed.

they claim you just have to find the right one, and that could mean literally trying hundreds of them which is insanity to me. it's up to you if it's worth it. be sure to tell your dr if they aren't working

This twelve year old girl committed suicide and livestreamed it. DEPRESSION CURED

Where did she livestream it? Im trying to find a place that will show the whole thing and people can record it before it is taken down

>Sep 2016 Fired from job because I seem depressed
shitheads who do stuff like that need to be gassed if you notice someone is depressed dont fucking punish them for it help them...

i feel like its normies who have never felt pain in their life who do thihngs like that

youtube.com/watch?v=W1ydK3z8nEc&ab_channel=TopTrendingNews

Whole thing

Don't worry man, you will bounce back. I'm cheering for you!

One semester?
Try wasting 3 years of your fucking life in a community college since it's basically free here
Literally didn't improve myself socially or physically or even mentally in Amy way for 3 whole years
It kills me everyday to wake up and get reminded of ita

above is my post. How do i climb out of this hole of self pity and loathing?

Where was it originally livestreamed though?

Fuckkkk man I'm sorry

Live.me

Also try chateen, worked for toaster steve

I have some of the worst depression and I started lifting 2 days and 1 day of cardio in between
I'm starting to feel a little more sane
You should give it a try, start off slow

Anxiety VS depression which is worse?
In my opinion anxiety is SOOO much worse
The fear THE FEAR!?!
Not undermining anyone's mental illness just genuinely asking

i can understand hating the fact that you've wasted your time but in my case i dont have a job and am just fucking myself in the asshole with these college bills and wasting the money being a retard. i cants stand myself. i look in the mirror and hate the man i see in front of me, i walk around trying to act cheery for others sake but inside just ridicule myself for being so irresponsible and idiotic. i cant stand to put any effort into anything cause i know at some point ill just fuck it up. i have no idea what to do and somehow always find ways to make it worse it feels like i really am my own worst enemy.

Ill make a thread on Sup Forums around 12 or 1am EST tonight. Name of chatroom will be Blackjack on chateen. I wont dissapoint!

want to do this but have no idea how to. probably sounds autistic but i feel like i need a place to do it before i can begin. my home is too small to do it and im too poor to afford my own equipment. what do?

.mp4 link

u.nya.is/ritagt.mp4

Anxiety is definitely worse. Depression makes you content to do nothing. Anxiety tortures you when you do anything, but especially nothing. So if you have both, like me, it's fucked. I'd give anything to go back to just depression.

How should we deal with it man
I don't even know why
I love studyin and hate going out
I just failed
Been getting shit at everything I do
I literally stopped playing the guitar which I adored after 11 years

My Grandfather, practically my father (single young mother) killed himself last month right before Christmas
He was a Vietnam veteran, a 25+ year firefighter and more importantly the greatest man I ever knew
I'm not doing okay

>tfw you type out a long paragraph explaining why depression is worse and then accidentally hit some shortcut to go back and erase it all
typical

get a cheap pair of running shoes
do as many push ups as you can
find things outside to lift (large rocks, chairs, anything)
slowly increase running time, reps, try to eat a little better each day
Dont put pressure on yourself, start off slow and set some goals of doing a little more after a week or two weeks, whatever u are comfortable with

>I love studyin and hate going out
>I just failed
hits hard man... i love learning new things but then i go and fuck up the one thing i needed to do to keep at it and get kicked out...

thanks man. stuff like this helps alot... (i dont mean for that to sound snarky if it does it's genuine)

>Semester costs 100,000 pesos here in Mexico in my university.
>I had college help, I didn't had to pay 20%. >Everything's cool for me, always under control.
>that first semester, I failed 3/6 subjects.
>lost financial help
>had to take an extra class which my parents paid as normal
>my grades aren't still high enough to get financial help and my parents are running out of money
>it's been 6 months since that
>still haven't got help
>I have never had a true job
>I changed my career and now I'm scared I'll get worse than in the past.
I think I also suffer from anxiety and depression, but being honest...
I think I don't care.

That sucks dude. I'm the previous poster and I suffer from both but my depression is definitely situational and obviously less intense.

it's almost funny how similar our stories are... i feel you user.

perhaps it's just that recent events have made my depression much worse but i would give anything to get rid of it.

I can't even tell if I'm depressed or not. Every day, I waste my time on the computer. Sometimes I play video games or read, but frequently I don't have the interest or energy to do so. Mostly I listen to music and sit on Sup Forums or watch some shitty TV show I barely care about. But this is how I've always been. Maybe the loss of interest and energy have grown over the last couple years, but I've always sat on my ass wasting time. I've never thought or felt much care about my future. It feels way too surreal. I'm getting good grades in school since my parents are paying for me to go, but I'll need to transfer and declare a major soon, and the whole thing seems overwhelming. The idea that in a couple years I'm supposed to have some relatively normal life is astounding and impossible. I didn't want to go to college. I don't want to work. I don't really want anything except to waste the rest of my time and die. I feel as if I know I'll never truly be happy, so what's the point of trying?

I feel a little less every day, and isolate myself further. The thought that I can leave my life early is one of the few comforting thoughts I have left. I'm a worthless piece of shit, and I know it. I just wish my parents were luckier and had a kid who cared more about living.

Boo Hoo! Life is soooooo hard, what's the point? I'm such a fuck up, I disappointed my whole family, I'm a kissless virgin bawl!

>Pull yourself together user. We all feel like shit from time to time. We're all faking it. That's how we be making it.

Life's good lads. Life's a game. It really isn't about winning. But you gotta play

is this thread dead or should i say my sad short story

No. We've heard your short sad story before. Tell us where you want to be

go for it, i cant speak for everyone else but OP's still in the thread

le depression meme strikes again haha. Stop self diagnosing faggot.

My thoughts in relation to How does one care?
Is it needed?
Do successful people care?
Should I care?
Am I caring?
Is caring enough to get out of this hole?
Am I a fuckup just by not caring?
Am I really doing something to get better or am I lying to myself and will eventually quit everything?
Why do I feel proud about thinking of myself as a fuckup?

>each question is followed by me feeling my body hotter and as if my head is sweating.

Everything is the same.
But I feel worse.

I speak from experience: be utterly fuckin' depressed for at least 10 years and NOT
kill yourself, you get over it. Except that
now you feel absolutely nothing and are dead inside. That give you hope?

look m80 like i said earlier i was always one to tell people doing that shit to fuck off and get their shit toether but now that i know im depressed and the only reason i dont have a diagnosis is cause i dont have 2grand+ to throw at it im a little more sympathetic to it, and honestly i know you wont listen but i think you should be to.

im curious user. other than a diagnosis from a doctor what would it take to convince you someone is depressed? suicidal thoughts? self harm?

you have no idea of how mental illnesses are.

Fuck you, we're all loosing and we are looking for someone to relate to.

>Good advice tho

it's doubts like this that plague my mind on a daily basis. how do i know if what im doing is completely fucked? i feel like im just giving it my best shot in the dark

>I can't find a good place to livestream my suicide.
Try Facespook - they let niggers torture retards live.

basically had a pretty good to average childhood because i didnt know about family problems
>puberty hits
me and mom find out that my dad spent almost all his monthly income for the past 7-8 years on gambling and that was the reason we were poor. he was also alcoholic so she divorced him. guess that affected me in some way, i started to become a real faggot playing video games all day long, suicidal thoughts everyday since ~3 years ago, dont have any friends just people i hang out sometime because im a human after all and need some contact. only things that make me happy are basically food and weed(which i dont have money to buy constantly). mom has a monthly income of $200~ so pretty hard to live.
dont give a shit about anyone at all, hardly give a shit about myself. basically lost the will to live and need money to somehow manage to keep myself happy
>not a short story after all but the best TL;DR i could do atm

And I really am a gendefluid foxkin. Just belieeeeeve me.
Graduating jr high.

believe me we would all love to be able to follow your advice user but at least for me it seems like every time i try i fall back into these same old habits and fuck up and hate myself for it.

my life is actually pretty chill to be honest. I just miss my ex-gf all the time and want more money. Pretty sweet otherwise.

Gtfo normie reeeeeeeeeeeeee

Wish that could happen to me too. The literal point of life is to reproduce so life ain't worth living if you ain't got kiddies.

This, make a big event, maybe even on periscope, strap on a go pro, get to play GTA V, only this time for real, pointing real guns at people and stealing their cars until you ultimately kill yourself in a crash with 6 police cars on your back.

>implying calling yourself a fake bullshit and saying you have a real mental illness are the same thing
fuck outta here retard.

yeah I don't know when it happened, but I became normie maybe in the last year or so. There's advantages and disadvantages to both lifestyles to be honest. The ey to snapping out of it and getting shit to together is working ou, getting your body in shape, feeling strong and confident. Also, keeping on top of the things that control your life such as video games, porn, bad foods, blah blah. I'd also says, doing a lot of mdma helped, really opened me up and made it easy for me to chat up girls without feeling ridiculous.

go out with style

>thinks an imaginary disease is really real
>everyone who disagrees with me is a retard
wew lad

You need to do ayahuasca in the woods. Reset yourself.

fucking off yourself faggot

Fuck off to your hugbox if you're so triggered.

>be me
>depression kicked in hard about 10 or 11 years ago
>had therapy but therapist was shit (45 min of talk once a month)
>left and just tried to get over it
>sometimes i really thought i were out of depression but then it hit me again
>fast forward
>dec 2014 a friend of mine hung himself out of fucking nowhere
>tried to cope with it but can't deal with it, just learned to ignore it
>nov 2015 my best friend tried to kill himself, but at least i was there soon enough to call the ambu
>he tells me it weren't the first try
>feelsbadman.jpg
>half a year later: he's dropping molly and sniff speed on a daily basis. He's a totally fucked and pissed at everyone
>can't take it anymore
>few weeks later
> get a call from my mom
>"your aunt is dead"
>entire family is getting wierd af
>some days later
>my grandmother almost lit her house because her dementia is getting worse
>she now has to live at my parents house
>she moves into my room
>it's ok, i love my grandma, but this was the last place that really felt like home
>depression is getting worse day by day
>i wake up and ignore that I'm awake for hours
>i'm going to the university to become a teacher but realized that i fucking hate to become a teacher
>drop out
>but wait there's more
>i fall in love with my best female friend but deny it to the max because she just came out of a relationship and needs to be alone
>deny it fucking deny it
>one day she asks me if i had a crush on her
>tell her no because i'm afraid to lose her
>as result i go to parties and try to fuck around to prove to myself and the world that I'm not in love with my best friend
>of course it doesn't work and i usually end up boozing, dropping molly, sniffing different amphetamine derivates and coke
>feel like shit
>everyone knows it
>i still deny the hell out of my feelings
>finally bring up the courage to tell her that I love her
>she has no such feelings for me
>but for another friend
>all is shit
>cont.

Pls

Shoulda just admitted your feelings in the first place dumbass

I am actually the guy you replied too. I do actually have experience of depression anxiety worthlessness autism alienation .. all that.
I wouldn't be such a blasé fucker to just write 'cheer up lol'

I believe I'm right though

We wouldn't have a depression if the bourgeoisie didn't exploit the proletariat.

Fucking A

>cont.
>silvester 2016/2017
>a friend of mine suddenly collapses at a party
>bring her home and make shure she's ok
>seems fine but suddenly she starts shaking and twitching
>she falls down and is unconcious
>ambulance comes takes her to the hospital
>she's diagnosed with a cerebral tumor
>my entire life feels like it's falling apart

i don't want this anymore. i can't stand it but i don't want to see anhero as an option. I don't want to let this shit world break me further. But everyday i wake up and wish i haven't. I can't sleep very well because i have this fucking thoughts all over my fucking brain. I'm trying to get a therapy again but it doesn't matter where i call, there are no therapy places spare. Now I'm trying to cope with everything by radically honest admitting my shit to myself but I'm not shure about it because i just feel more shitty.
I know i don't feel loved or needed because i don't find love for myself. I try to do things i could get some selfworth within but i can't bring up the motivation. I don't really hate myself but i hate this part of me which is willing and wanting that I'm failing miserably

You got to dig deep and find out who you are so you can be honest with the people around you. Love is so abstract that you really can have it many so many things.

Figure it out for yourself and be honest or you'll have regrets later in life.

>no friends
>don't go into college very often
>whenever i do it just reminds me of the latter
>i loved my cat but she died
>my baby doggo died (pic related)
>given up on life

you're right but i really were anxious about losing her

kinda but you should know then that things like that just hurt

that's the reason why I'm trying to be radically honest with me but right now it just seems like digging up more shit i don't know how to deal with

I genuinely hope all of you have a nice night.

*hugs and kisses*

NO HOMO

No full homo. Guys are the only ones worth pursuing.

>living in the third world country
>poor
>depression
>anexiety
>acne
>high school dropout
>no gf

Misfit bipolar borderline depressed fag here. life sucks. nice to be with you guys

Literally just got diagnosed with bipolar II (the kind with mostly depressive episodes). Just forcing myself to get up and go to work (the wife practically pushing me out of bed) felt like hell. I started Lamictal last week and already feel much better... but not sure if it's placebo affect or if I'll have another episode soon. My wife almost convinced me to get hospitalized due to self harm and considering suicide. After 25 years of dealing with these feelings, I'm glad I finally got help now.

>The feeling when you're a freshman in college and I've already stunted my lungs with cigarettes and pot and I'm a chronic addict with a terrible amount of self control and will probably end up dying with no purpose.

People around you... They are really fucked up...

So you lost a chance to have a gf, and several friends, no biggie...

You can still do things completely irrational to find someone to cheer you up.

yay a thread for me
>22
>no life
>no friends
>never had a gf
>never had a job
>sit in my flat every day
>alcoholic "just to cope"
pretty much low as fuck atm living a pointless life with no meaning...would have killed myself a while ago my strangely i still have hope that things may get better.

I too am really sad and hate my dad and listen to linkin park. Nice to meet you all.

BPII is a bit of a bullshit diagnosis - IMO you are majorly depressed and occassionaly get to feel good, with mood swings.
( like your photo shows )

Technically BPs aren't supposed to be helped by antidepressants, but as a BPII, I TOTALLY am helped..

so don't be afraid to try some mixed with the lamictal.

eg: lamicatal + effexor, or wellbutrin.

It is a fucking game changer, and I'm glad you are getting help.

Get me some more rum and a busty blonde virgin and maybe i might.

>You can still do things completely irrational to find someone to cheer you up.
like what?
I'm done with drugs and alcohol now. Also doing irrational stuff doesn't really sound tempting

Same person here... The problem with depression is that even when things are going great I can still get hit with crippling depression that causes me to skip work, go in late, etc. However, I have a "career job" so I have to go all but once/twice a month. Between my wife and me we pay over $1000 in student loans a month (both master's degrees), so I can't "take time off" while my wife works. I have hope that things will change, but I always go through times when I'm feeling better and I think I can get my life back on track, and then I do stupid stuff like spend $3000 on reptiles to try a reptile business, or $200 on clay to become a clay worker. WTF, really? A clay worker? I don't even know what that is. Afterwards I always crash... scared I'm going to crash again.