What's a life lesson you learned the hard way?

What's a life lesson you learned the hard way?

If it feels bigger than 2 fingers, it's probably a dick.

Anal bleaching best left to professionals

if you eat ass make sure they're good at wiping

if you're going to cum on the blackboard try and make sure your teacher isn't walking in the door right at the money shot

Wolves in sheep's clothing. Everywhere. Especially if they're not wearing clothes.

Bleach isn't as good at removing blood stains as tv would have you believe

That R. Stone is a softy faggot

:^)

Trust no one
Thank me later skanks

people who always complain about how they are always fucked over are pieces of shit themselves.

if a woman or a guy you are dating says every past bf/gf they had was an asshole, it means they are an asshole

This

don't open up a super hot bottle of ammonia pointed at your face :(

Never expect anything good to happen.
You will always be disappointed.
every time..

if you think you weren't dissappointed, just wait.
it'll happen eventually.

Don't download cp

story?

all those cliche sayings like "grass is always greener on the other side" or "dont count your chickens before they hatch" and all those other cheesey life advice lines are all 100% true.

If a "friend" or "friend group" are playing you for a fool, starting drama with you, and generally being unpleasant to you:
BURN.
FUCKING.
BRIDGES.
People who aren't good enough to be considered your friends, shouldn't be considered your friends. Bottom line.

Downloaded cp when i was 19
Feds came to my house a few months later
10 years probation
Registered sex offender for life

On phone so kept the story short

Killing is not fun but feels good. Killed 2 men in Afghanistan. We were on a foot patrol and Dingus and Dingbat & Co. decided to be Jihad4Lyfe and "allahu achkbared" on us. Pop pop, no more problems from that sector. Renegade 1-Actual orders mount up we're done.
Ate pancakes to celebrate.

So much this.

From shy bipolar girls to loud-mouth trashy whores who say things like "they all called me a slut and used me, so I may as well act accordingly"

This shit always applies

You deserve it, you fucking rapist

What did you feel? Other than recoil

But my ex was a manipulative cheating slut. Granted the relationship was heaven before that.

Am I a bad person?

the saying goes

if you are walking down the street and bump into an asshole, it means that guy was an asshole

if you are walking down the street and everyone you meet is an asshole, it means you are the asshole

In other words, if you had a shitty gf in the past, then thats that. You should really worry if every relationship you had was horrible because you need to figure out whats wrong with you that you keep attracting and/or dating people like that.

Lol.
No. I just looked at the pictures. Tgey were facinating to me. I didn't even know what i was doing was illegal at the time. When the Feds came to my door, i thought at first it was because of all the music i was downloading.

Don't be a cunt.

if you are like 18, just realize that you are very ignorant in the sense that you just dont know much. Just accept that fact that you dont know anything really and be willing to listen to people who know what they are talking about.

also learn that you arent special at all like your teachers and parents said and learn to accept this fact without being some mopey self loathing faggot.

Don't fart and sneeze at the same time or your lungs will collapse.

Lolwut

Never play cards with a man that has the same name as a city

He right you know.
Have you ever have that moment when you try to shoot a snot rocket but you accedently blow air out your mouth and you back fire the snot rocket like a bad muffler.
Now for the feelings with your lungs would be like falling off the jungle gym and you land on your back and you out-wind yourself.

Now throw both those feelings together and that's what happens when you fart and sneeze at the same time.

Never trust a girl who says she is on the pill

If youre going to suck a log of shit out of andy sixxs ass hole, make sure hes sedated first.

I managed to suck the log out but holy fuck andy puts up a hell of a fight

Fucking KEK

If you want to be truly happy in a relationship: know how to be happy alone first.

There's nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who gets mopey and depressed when you don't hang out with them and you definitely don't want to be there person.

Don't touch a dog's food bowl.

Don't try to fuck your wife's friends

Don't try to fuck your friend's wife

This.

Also, nobody cares about you until you can do something for them.

There is no such thing as unconditional love.

You can never truly be happy.

bullshit, unconditional love is extremely rare though

Falling in love with a sheet

There really are good reasons not to engage in incest.

How the hell you figure this one out?

If youre going to drink andy sixxs asshole juice, make sure you lick his asshole to clean up after yourself

>being this deluded

If you cut off your mom's tit with a rusty hacksaw would she still love you?

Being honest and straight with people will usually result in better relationships with them

You watch Jim Jefferies too?

that what we like to use to hurt others is what we are insecure about within ourselves.

Make sure to close the fridge before going for a vacation.

Cunt. B^)

This. People who aren't insecure usually don't have any desire to hurt others either.

When you start a new relationship or even think that may be happening with some chick...
Jerk off every time right before you hang out with her to clear your mind.
That not nearly as horny time together is a preview of what's really to come if you continue down this path.

be honest always

im never gonna be confident
some girls find shyness cute

REALLY BAD ADVICE.
Honesty is only good when the recipient of it hears what they want to.

Better advice is, talk only as much as you need to.

Once upon a time
Don't download cp
The end

The idea of undonditional love born as representation of harmony. It's literally a "endless" attention or care.

It's possible to have it, but our modern world doesn't allow it since we're too egocentric.

an*

Perfect.
When you think you've said just enough, say a little less.

You can't stump the Trump

If you send violence out into the world, one day it will return, hunt you down and kill you.

Don't study something in college only because you think its what your parents want for you.

There is one fruit that can make your penis increase by 67%. (Experts can't explain why.)

Don't marry someone because she sat behind you in 8th grade science class.

Holding your thumb and jerking your wrist downwards does NOT produce an instant orgasm.

A banana?

Some kind of melon. Honeydew? Gotta punch a hole in it and fuck that juicy orb.

Don't let jealousy over your love interest's previous relationships rob you of your best years and destroy your relationships.

Don't watch cuck porn

>doggos

If a '25 year old' girl looks 17, she probably is 17

fucking cats

equally good advice