ITT: we work in an office

ITT: we work in an office.

Does anyone have a pen?

Get your own pen, Gary. Or, ask Cheryl, I know that bitch is hoarding them.

You guys need to join the pen15 club. Free pens.

god damn it guys!
who let jerome back in? remember last time you let him in? he stole all the sticky notes.

gee tom, can i join the pen15 club?

i'm gonna need a lot with you know who with you know what skin colour around..

No, i keep my go pills in my blue pen buckaroo, you can take the black one from my desk though

SHIT!FUCK! I have diarrhea

Attention employees:

Thanks to our new Ecological Awareness Team, we are transitioning to a paperless environment effective immediately. All pens will be confiscated upon discovery with a holding and recovery fee of $100 per incident and violators will be subject to disciplinary action up to and including termination.

Have a nice day!

I know what you're going to ask for next. Here you go.

I only have this one, but you can't borrow it because I would cease to be important if I give it to you.

Regards
Small minded pompous Middle Manager

You can take our jobs, but you can never take OUR FREEDOM........to use pens.

Want some M&M's?

Who ate the tuna sandwich I had in the fridge! My name was on it, gosh darnit!!
- Peter

i just want a fucking simple day of work.
but you cunts make this office a riot every fucking day.
i should quit, only reason i stayed this long was to fuck our boss' daughter and she's starting to bore me.

Hey guys don't forget to join the anime club desu desu!

yeah hi. so i notice you guys arent putting your cover sheets on your tps reports.. did you get that memo?

I accidently the entire company accounts history boss, wat do?

No. I have a bad case of the Mondays and ur gay.

the cover sheets aren't needed when the file has your name on it.
most of the people in here use files with their names on.
if you have a problem with someone take it up with them not with the entire office.

Nope...

Yeah, it's just that we're putting new cover sheets on all the TPS reports.

Hey Milton, can I borrow your stapler? I'll give it back before the day ends, I promise.

and the ugly people losers smell like shit and the ugly people losers can hurt people the ugly way and still be ugly

new cover sheets?
you mean the blue ones right?
those are only needed if someone's name is not on the file.

Sure, Kev.

Oh shit excuse me, guys. I've been looking for this.

RETURN THE STAPLER

who the fuck shit in my desk drawer again?

Too late Jim

Can you watch my pens? I'll be back in twenty minutes. I have to go talk to HR about my desktop background. Yeah, probably Karen again.

That fairy what likes to use unorthodox jello ingredients

Did you get that memo?

gtfo of Initech

i have a pen
i have an apple
uhn
apple pen!

Is that for a bong or to give the boss?

You done goofed...

None of you guys are invited to my birthday

pls no

Hey guys I'm new here, can you show me where the cleaning supplies are?

No idea but I know where the stuff to make crystals is.

>Does anyone have a penis?

You know how I know your gay? You smoke weed. Weed makes you gay.

I have one, take it.
In fact let's take my whole desk.

Do you guys like Evangelion?

stfu weeb

hey guys just started
look forward to working with you all anything i should know about the office?

Does this apply to the toilet too ?

Never eat the whipped cream.

We are always watching.

All of you get back to work, your lunch breaks were finished at 1pm and we have to finish this project. Need I remind you that our department will be down sized if we can't meet our goals. I value all of you as team members and don't want to lose anyone due to a lack of motivation.

You just motivated my thumb up your ass, boss man.

The door is stuck? Did someone put a penny in it? I swear, if I find a penny....

Yes boss !!!
I'm didn't take my lunch break actually

Yong-li

why you guys keep whipped cream in the break room?
good to know....good to know....

Alright guys who took a dump on the printer? I need the printer or johnson will fire me

Day off, no pay.

browsing cp on office wifi during my late lunch break.

I'm not a Freudian but sheesh...
Had a hunch.

Fuck that, I'm out. Enjoy hunting for someone as dependable and proactive as me, labor whore.

nah man you always take my pens and never return them

okay real funny guys
who made 1000 copies of this?
there isn't enough paper left to print out my report on the latest sales projections now
someone needs to run down to supplies and get some new reams

Has everyone met my new secretary?

Okay guys, who took my lunch out of the fridge? You all know I'm on a gluten free diet and my wife prepared it for me. This is the second time this happened this week, please just stop it's not funny.

CEO here. You are fired faggot. The rest of you finnish up your task and go home. There will be an opening for his appication, I expect SOME of you to apply, some may as well not. /Looks at frank/ Just keep in mind my time is valuable.

I'm afraid we don't have any. Did you get that memo?

does any one have $3.50 I can borrow? gonna buy a snack from the vending machine and i left my wallet at home.

YOURE FIRED TOO!

Well thanks assholes, i'm fired

>"jack when you hear a peep from johnsons office, run. Run fast"

Well guys good luck, go visit johnson sometimes like maybe a power-meeting at 5:32 ? Don't mind the peeping his pc is broken.
Good luck guys !

FIREDS FOR EVERYBODY!

i think i saw jim with some lettuce sticking out his pants earlier
might want to have a talk with him about where your lunch is

THANK OPRAH!

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

>Loch Ness monster tries to convince me with dubs

well shit!
*makes it rain pepe copies*
god damn fucking cock sucking son of a hooker bitch dog fucking thundercunt!!!!

thanks scott we still on for tonight at chili's?

mm thundercunt

I wasn't going to say anything, but earlier I went to the bathroom and Sam was jerking off to his own reflection. He insisted that I sit and watch.

Karen heard that. She's already on the way to HR. I told you she was a problem.

god dammit karen!
*beats karen to HR*
okay guys no worries karen is drugged and tied up in the janitors closet she should be out of commission for the next few hours

THUNDERCUNTS FOR EVERYBODY!

PLS NO OPRAH!

I already got my dick in my hand, notetext it faggot

i

I found a meth lab in the janitor's closet

wait, was karen still in there?
don't tell me that sloppy bitch escaped