How Can I break my own ribs...

How Can I break my own ribs? If course I have the possibility of hitting myself with a hammer but what other options do I have?

Be honest, are you doing this so you can suck your own dick?

another option would be crushing yourself under something like a fridge.

I broke my ribs just before christmas, fell over onto the corner of a coffee table

hurts like fuck for weeks and there's always the chance you'll break one rib really badly and puncture a lung, good luck with that

How about don't try to break your own fucking ribs retard.

Honestly, OP, this is the best advice.

It's OP, what else? Remember OP is a faggot

I don't need to break a rib to do that.

If I can't control the impact I could rip my lungs in the process

Did you hit the table really hard?
I know it hurts as hell but I don't mind.

If you break your arms mummy will probably give you the good succ succ

Seriously, though. Why do you want to do this?

If I were looking for this kind of advice I wouldn't be on Sup Forums

>Did you hit the table really hard?

I don't remember, I was in a hypoglcemic coma, type 1 diabeetus is a bitch

How many ribs do you want to break?
Also, we're probably not going to stop asking why you want to do this. It's pretty fucking weird.

fall off of a ladder

this^
I am curious of why.

I need to have a bad injurie so I can skip a compulsory activity that I don't want to do un my work.
I'm open to other ideas, but the ribs are an option that prevents me from doing any physical activity without beeing too severe.

just jump off from a tree and land on your chest bro
works 100%

you sound pretty stupid. how are you gonna hit yourself with a hammer to break your ribs. im sure just daily living will hurt you somehow. good luck retard

What could be bad enough to make you want to break your own fucking ribs to get out of it? Breaking your ribs hurts like fuck, makes simple movement painful, and takes a while to recover from.

>"without beeing too severe"
Except for the part where breaking your ribs can puncture internal organs like your lungs, heart, anything in your digestive tract....If you don't count fatal injuries or ones requiring major medical attention as severe then this seems like a good idea.

A military like commando training where i'll spend three weeks outside, wet, tired, fighting, without food and we're expecting temperatures around -15°C.

Dude, if you need that for your work, trying to get out of it is probably going to make your actual job much shittier.

Put your car on an incline. Put it in neutral. Quickly go lay down on the road behind the car. Let it roll over you. Done. If you survive (and even if you don't) you'll have a nice set of crushed ribs.

Lay ladder on its side
Elbow drop ladder asking impact with ribs to.ladder

I like this idea.

Stop never again or you get a shoe

Tell them to fuck off. If it isn't part of your job description you don't need to do it. Or you could quit. Alternatively you could try not being a little bitch and go on the camping trip they have planned for you.