Every time I face a love denial, even of the smallest, I think of suicide

Every time I face a love denial, even of the smallest, I think of suicide.

It's happened so many times it doesn't even affect me emoitonally anymore, I just look at it objectively.
The fuck is wrong with me /b?

You're mentally unstable.

Is that changeable? Tried meds but they only made things worse

Also, my therapists abandoned me, so that's out of the way

Thanks for not checking my dubs.
Also, no I don't think that meds will cure you.
My first statement was kind of rhetoric and a joke, but you just generally have an emotional mental state. I've never even felt remotely sad after getting dumped, but then there are others who try to off themselves every time it happens, like you. I'm not good at giving advice, but I would say to stop looking for love. Find something you enjoy doing and possibly try the normie life for a little while. But don't listen to me. I'm normie scum. What do I know, right?

You don't sound like a normie, and that's coming from someone who's been in terminal health, then in a coma, then techincally dead, and now is trying his best to have a normie life.
I have pretty much anything I can wish for now, except for love and I fucking hate it because I can have most girls but not the ones that I fall in love with, ever

Also, sorry, didn't notice dubs

Just realized that you could've been sarcastic.

Checked. Also, I am a normie. And partially a newfag. I used to lurk from like 2011-2012 and haven't been back since 2016. If you have everything except for love I would try to find a new interest..I guess? I go to normie parties for sex to keep my stress levels low. Assuming by "everything" you have money, you could possibly get into something like street bikes, or cars or something that leads off of something you already have an interest in?

Im on anti-depressants and I know how ur feeling. I literally didn't give two shits before about any female friends or love interests, but now if I see a friend of mine that I casually talk to, with another guy I get even more depressed. I want to say jealous but I don't think it is jealousy, more disappointment that she isn't talking to me.

Also, just keep looking. As someone who has no interest in settling down I feel it is not responsible to give my opinion on this sort of thing, but eventually I am sure you'll find someone if you keep looking. Think about it. The way you talk you've obviously found more than one chick that "you want". Eventually you should be able to find one that wants you too.

For how long? Been there for 1 year and half (op)

just started about a month ago, was going great and then my brain started catching up with the SSRIs and literally everything is fucked now. Sex drive has gone way the fuck up but my dick has no motivation. I need a new script is what im talking to my doctor about in a month

Problem is, everytime the chick is "different", she's " the one".
And everytine something goes bad, I promise to myself that I would stop looking for love, but then I meet another "the one" and the cycle continues

Usually takes 2-3 months to fully stabilize with that stuff, best advice i can give you is taking it slow both in and out

That was my previous point.
It might be a ton of painfull trial and error until you find "the one" that wants to be with you, but it's generally that way for everyone who wants to find someone to spend the rest of their life with, and until then occupy your brain to progress to the next scenario. Weed, liquor, parties, hobbies. Whatever you have to do to get shit done OP.

My doc said a couple weeks for lexapro so I understand that part, but I just feel like this isnt doing me any good, plethora of side effects and I feel like a shell of myself while taking it. Since I know what the 'real' me feels like this shit is so foreign to me I really do feel unstable

(Still op) I mixed ssri and a heavy amount of alcol once, trust me, even just two beers and you might need the hospital, don' t try it

I'm immune to most drugs (long story) and I don't fancy wheels, I have music, guitar, vidya, internet, friends, memes etc. But all those tuings are just to take my mind off of that, they are not a real replacement and eventually get stale

idk how you are op but if your actually thinking of suicide seriously for love/denial then thats retarded. you will get over it in like a day or two just go to a college bar or something

(Op) bad mood/compliance can fuck up meds efficiency pretty easily, change the way you feel about them and it will get better, maybe try a smaller dose or switch to weed

It does go away quickly, I just wish it didn't happen in the first place/knew how to prevent it

Checked. And you keep making me repeat myself. I agree with you. That's what you should be using those things for if all you are getting long time enjoyment out of in life is companionship. Maybe even pick up on something new to take your mind off of depression in between break ups and finding a new lady to talk to. Shoes, guns, tech. You'd be surprised what you can get interest out of. I've recently picked up on buying chinese replicas of flagship smartphones to run through them and play with them and then re-selling them for full price as if they were a flagship phone.

You're right, sorry.
Haven't had a workout in a week now that I think about it and I never took it seriously, maybe I'll get fit just 'cause.
Thanks user

Good luck OP. Hopefully you'll get some sweet gains and maybe meet a grill at the Gym.

agreed, I havent worked out in a while cus uni is out but i feel like MAYBE mixing my normal routine with my lexapro will be a good combo, i just hope it fucking kicks in soon so i dont have these jealous/hormonal thoughts. its like im fucking 14 again (am 22)

(Op) I'm 19, but when it comes to girls I actually feel older instead of younger, odd.

Give /fit a try if you haven't, it's a sweet place

Forgot to check again, sorry