High school teacher here, just got home from another day in the life

High school teacher here, just got home from another day in the life
Ask me anything

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wher can i meet some dank ass traps, 18 - 21??

How annoying are the trans fags

how many of your students have you fucked?

Ever caught a student bating in class?

Couldn't tell you
Try Don't have any. Not even sure they're real.

0 praise be to allah

Nah. Most of my kids are too old to be oblivious enough to jerk it in class.
That's kinda a middle school thing, I think

How do you hide your boner

What would have to change in your life to make you get a swastika made of ducks tattooed on your chest of your own free will?

why dont you take it easy on the work and just let everyone pass? (cept the blacks of course)

So, a high school teacher? Too dumb to teach at uni or do you just "love children"?

Dicks, not ducks

Fucking autofuckup ftl

if trips this post gets trips will you start calling your students "fag" regardless of their name, gender, sexual orientation?

Roll for duckstika

Well I'm not 12 so I've got control of that shit

Do you realize how fuckall annoying teenagers get when they have nothing to do?
They'd drive me insane

Got an arts degree and nothing else to do with it
But at this point I love the shit out of those little fuckers

I would love a swastika made of ducks

No that's stupid

Do you like yoga pants?

Because that won't help anyone. They will just go on to the next class and fail miserably because they weren't prepared.

Hell yes
Sadly my school has uniforms so no yoga pants

how many of your students have you fucked?
fondled? fantasized about?

>how many of your students have you fucked?
0

>fondled?
0
Nothing worse than a hug

>fantasized about?
9001

Can you show any of those old looney tunes shows from ww2 in class? Like the one where Donald Duck is throwing the nazi salute?

what is the least intelligent demographic, and why is it niggers?

shit you better not be at my school bitch

Took any creep pics?

Are you into painal?

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Never tried, but the general rule on "Am I allowed to..." seems to be "Do whatever you want until a parent complains, at which point you get fired for it."

No we don't have special ed

Nah I'm shit at that kinda thing, not even gonna try

Yes but I'm too lazy to click your link

really doubt you're even from Canada, so im safe ahaha

dealing with niglets is great, isn't it

Any of the girls ever made any moves on ya? Giving the look, playing with hair, licking lips, etc.

>you should separate the kids in your class with Aryan master race blue eyes kids on one side, and non pure's on the other, and make them fight

Have you had to show how to put a condom on a dildo in class? Do you sometimes need to stand guard in the bathrooms?

Nothing obvious/straightforward, but there have definitely been a few "Did she just fucking do that?" kind of moments
Girls at my school are fairly innocent though, so a lot of the time I don't think they realize what they're doing

What the fuck kind of weird ass high school did you go to where either of those were things?

What do you teach?

English

Why would I ask a glorified babysitter anything?

Because you don't have to insult others as a means of compensating for your own insecurities?
But apparently I was wrong about that

It's in Europe. Since none of teachers wanted to do it I guess, they hired an external consultant how to apply a condom on a wooden penis. And during break time a teacher had to stand in or next to the bathroom to see if no one smokes there.

Don't fuck with an English teacher you'll get rekt evrytim

English, huh? So, apart from being good at the most widely spoken first-world language, what else are you good at?

In general english teacher also prefer history, sports or philosophy

^ever consider this op?

Do they still hold penis inspection day in high school?

Jesus christ what the fuck Europe

I'm pretty awesome at sleeping and masturbating
Can't manage them simultaneously though

What's your plan if a student starts shooting uo the place? I vote for a powerbomb

That's a well put together sentence to make yourself seem smarter but it isn't even a response to my question. Arrogant AND stupid. You ARE a high school teacher.

gb2 Ever consider this?

Yeah all the time that's why they make such a big deal out of teachers having their nails clipped

Die, pretty much
Our school is horribly unprepared for such a thing

You say philosophy... I'll bite. What's your stance on the modern resurgence of utilitarianism and its lack of empathy?

If your SO was fucking awesome except for a compulsion to harvest, cook, and eat cat cocks every 2-3 months would you stay with them?

Do you have any good stories about your students/school in general?

Post you're responding to isn't OP
I don't know shit about utilitarianism.
A quick wiki tells me it's vague enough to mean fuckall anything

Nah SO's are pretty lame anyways
Sex is fun but beyond that I find them pretty annoying

Of course but that's super fucking vague
What kind of stories did you have in mind?

If you had a genuine birth certificate showing without any doubt that Trump was born in Mexico, would you release it to the media?

I am not OP and I never really had a philo course, but I rather follow Kant and his idea of utlilitarianism. He also had a pretty good view of nihilism in his early years.

But back to your question: although the majority should to, what is good for the majority, we should care for minorities, especially in a time, we no longer fight for survival

> (You)
>Of course but that's super fucking vague
>What kind of stories did you have in mind?
It was vague because I was hoping you would come up with something.

wanna cook meth with me, bitch?

Fuck yeah I would
I don't even give a shit about his politics I just wanna see those alt-right neckbeards have an asthma attack

Ask specifically and ye shall receive, but there's nothing that jumps out as "the best story ever" or whatever

Not a chem teacher so I'm too useless for that

Is it weird that my pee smells like buckwheat after I eat buckwheat?

how hard was it for you to tell your family that you're gay?

Then you're good at fuckall and just coast on the waves of life like a stiff carcass in the ocean, knowing that your life is meaningless and you have accomplished nothing of importance? Does the fact that most of your peers are as qualified to do your job as you are, but you had to undergo special education for it, keep you up crying at night?

Do magnets work in outer space?

I'm not the vague guy, but what stories do you have about students earning a nickname for stupid/crazy shit?

If every particle is created in a pair with it's antiparticle (pair production) and when they meet they destroy each other (annihilation) then why is there still any matter left? pls reply

Have there been any good senior pranks, or general other senior shenanigans?

Maybe you should stop pissing on your own face?

How embarrassing is it that I know 14 year olds with more clever insults?

Magnets work anywhere if you just believe

Um. Not a lot. Most the weird nicknames I've dealt with, I didn't know the origin of.
Had a kid a few years back everyone called "Hamburger." No idea why.
Kids aren't nearly as creative with nicknames anymore. It's a lost art.

Because there are no such thing as particles OR antiparticles, it's only human perception that makes it so

No. Our seniors have always been shit at that. I don't even think they did a prank last year.
This year will be disappointing too probably but this year's juniors might do something neat when they're seniors. That seems like something they'd be good at.

...

because when the expansion of the universe is faster than the speed of light inside of the event horizon of the black hole, one of the pair crosses it along their curved arc back to eachother and doesnt come back out to annihilate with the other

I make more money than you and I'm a waiter. How does that make you feel?

waitress*

Could not possibly give less fucks

dont talk about qm.

i know you think you know some stuff but you really dont and it looks bad. im not trying to call you dumb or anything im just letting you know as a friend, that its really pretentious to say that and its a way more interesting a nuanced discussion than all that.

Trans-waitress deminigger*

Dunno what comment this is in reference too but I thought it was fairly obvious I was just spewing bullshit with the magnets or the antiparticles. I teach fucking high school english what the fuck do I know about that?

Have you ever been obsessed with a student? Like, fapping, thinking about them excessively?

So if i put a straw in a cup of water and put my finger over the straw the water stays in the straw right. What would happen if you recreated that at 1000 times the scale? Flying swimming pool?

woah that's shockingly genuis

Youre right! my bad! i 100% thought this was a different thread were science wasnt off topic. sorry m8

>English teacher
>too instead of to

brb killing myself

Eh, depends on where you draw the line on "obsessed"
But there have been a few I've been pretty into, whatever you take that to mean

Katrina happens

>Trans-waitress deminigger dickhead douche bag*

Why do you faggots still teach Albert Einstein's fusion model of the universe when Nikola Tesla's' electric model of the universe is far more accurate and fills the quantum gap? Do you not know that at the end of his life Albert Einstein said that he was wrong and that Tesla was probably right?

only slightly embarrassing, less than you would probably imagine

I pity you.
You have no idea how much better your life could be if you would only quit your job.
>from a a former teacher.

its okay ill teach you, i just need an adult to supervise me.
and we can use your credit card to buy ingredients

If they taught the Tesla model, people would soon figure out how to generate electricity freely, without having to burn fuel.

It would put General Electric out of business dummy, we can't have that.

idk my bff jill?

I think that a lot
But then I spend all summer sitting on my ass doing nothing, and it's hard to argue with that.
It's really about what one personally values most in their life. And fuck me I love not working for weeks at a time.

>high school teacher
>credit card
You're hilarious

I can tell you really are a teacher. You're a fucking dick and I don't like you.

I can't even see a common thread in all those posts that made you mad, but glad I could help.

What it feel like to be an absolute relic of a simpler time when memorizing tons of 'facts' made you special because books were rare and expensive, when specific information was difficult to retrieve?

Sorry your high school was shitty but that's not how it works anymore

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON THE OXFORD COMMA

>"teaches" test material 'facts' for $
>not how it works anymore

let's try a little honesty

IT'S IMPORTANT
SO IS AVOIDING CAPSLOCK

One thing we teach now is to not ask questions if you're just going to arrogantly ignore any answers that contradict your uninformed preconceived notions
But feel free to keep wasting your time

>What did you learn at school today, (generic_name)?
Don't ask questions!

Which high school you teach at?

Apparently reading comprehension wasn't something your shitty high school taught, either

Not going to say for fairly obvious reasons

>idk my bff Jill
Jesus you just made me Kek on many different levels

>obvious reasons

What, that coming here is an indication that you're a bad person who shouldn't be entrusted with the care of children?

Nah I just don't wanna get fired

>get fired
For being a bad person who shouldn't be entrusted with the care of children?

Nah
I'm not denying that I'm not
Just that hirings/firings are a lot more arbitrary than that

>school teacher

You're a piece of shit. There is no honor in what you do.
You're nothing more than state funded day-care for kids who have out grown diapers.

Jesus christ a lot of fucking aspies bitter about being bullied in high school or something ITT