Sup Forumsros who have had a gf had a miscarriage, how do I deal with this?

Sup Forumsros who have had a gf had a miscarriage, how do I deal with this?

I feel like my child died. Can't sleep. Am i being too emotional?

I would have been a good dad

wasn't a child. was cells. get over it

If it was just cells why can't I sleep

Been there. It's tough. Bounce back nigga

This.

It wasn't even born yet

Because you're a fag

I'll bounce back

Do I have a right to feel so sad?

lamo @ ur ded kid

you'll be alright. take your time, keep trying. it's gonna be okay user.

>been there, 1 lovely kid with another on the way now.

But it would have been my child.

Its hard to explain but I feel like my kid died. I imagine myself playing with my kid, cuddling it etc.

No. You didn't even know the little sack of shit so you are 100% unjustified in giving a shit.

>Would have been
Key words there. It WASN'T your child, and wouldn't have been until it was born. By your logic you could be just as sad had she never got preggo at all

Thanks for the kind reply. I feel so sad. So hard to deal with, even my family say "hurr durr it was just cells*

Genuinely glad things worked out for you user.

I understand thats the rational way of feeling about it. But its different when it would have been my child. I feel like my child died but everyone brushes it off.

Been there 2 years ago. You just need to be strong for your gf. I always thought about it like this you can try again right afterward and when you get to see that kid you wouldn't give it up for anything but you would have that one if the other didn't miscarry.

Just be there for your lady she's going through much more than you emotionally and physically. If you get her pregnant and have a kid this will just be an afterthought. It just sucks for now

My long term gf was 3 months preg when she miscarried. Long story short her ex boy and his little gang were behind it. I beat him within an inch of his life and everyone of his mates who were involved after it. Then moved on with a cloudy head for a few a month or so

>But it's different when it WOULD HAVE BEEN

Again, WOULD HAVE BEEN. Not WAS. Huge difference. I've had 3 different girls have miscarriages and it's really not that hard to deal with.

We broke up because of the stress - her choice not mine. I don't miss her, just feel empty because I wanted a child so much.

I understand about having another child - but it will never be that child, that child is gone now. Complicated thing to deal with emotionally

I reckon it's all about perspective mate

Hey op, sorry for the loss. Even if it was a bunch of cells, you were looking forward to meeting a human you helped make. If you believe in reincarnation, then there is a chance it may come back to you, or it wasn't ready to meet you yet.
Don't listen to the assholes op. You're justified in feeling sad. Spend time with your lady too, she's probably feeling the loss as well.

In the vein of "it was a bunch of cells" but hopefully in a more helpful way, Google "radiolab primitive streak" or look it up wherever you get podcasts and go listen to it. It's interesting and relevant and will in some ways take your mind off the issue and give you new ways to think about it.

Didn't read where you broke up, sorry about that.

>would have been

Definitely know what you're saying. Just feel so much regret for something that was so out of my control

Thank you. I have a new girlfriend now, but stil feel the loss. I like the idea of reincarnation, quite comforting. The feeling that the potential child is lost forever is an emotional burden.

It's better they miscarriaged rather than gave birth to an non viable baby that only lived a few excruciatingly painful minutes. It fucking sucks but you will get over it a d you will move on and hopefully have the chance to have more children

Never experienced it but had a friend who has. Him and his gf lost thier child about few weeks before due date. His gf went ape shit crazy but I guess time doesn't heal wounds but leaves scars to look at later.

Is this a troll post or genuine advice? Should I listen?

Thats what my mum said. She said usually if a girl miscarries it was because the foetus was too ill/fucked up to survive. I think it's true and the thought helps on one level..

That's sucks but same theory applies.

You will be a dad with someone at some point if you want it but you wouldn't go down that path and have that life if this kid was born.

It's still shitty but when you get to that future you'll know what I mean just occupy your time with friends and family it gets easier

>time doesn't heal wounds but leaves scars to look at later.

Well put. I don't want to sound dramatic but I don't think I'll ever 'get over' this but it has shaped my life in a big way.

yeah you're being a faggot lol it happens, deal with it, you'll get more kids, don't get too attached to unborn grape child, you'll go mental like my parents did when my brother died
TLDR you're a faggot, make more

Yeah friends and family help. Just late at night when it gets to me. I almost feel guilty for forgetting about what happened during my normal days, but I know that's not healthy.

>got married
>impregnated wife
>miscarriage at 2 months
>cue sympathy and people being way too careful / sensitive around us
>we just figured that mess of cum and egg wasn't to be
>doc advised leaving 6 months before trying again
>4 months later and wife was pregnant again..oops
>had a daughter 2 years ago
>not one fuck given about miscarry mary/mike

Stop being a faggot OP.

Understand how it seems like I'm being a faggot but it is really different when it happens to you. I plan to make more but honestly think this will always be a burdern on me. Which is ok if I deal with it I suppose

Trust me, when you finally have kids you will get over this. You may never forget but you'll just be caught up in how fucking great being a dad is

You still can be, if you can overcome your personal trials and tribulations. Of course ... being a new father then becomes your new set.

Congrats on your family user. Hope to be where you are soon. Think what happened will hang over me forever though, but won't impede me from happiness and moving on

>Same guy again.

Not trolling at all. Just google it and read the description then decide for yourself.

It may not help. But it might be that nothing will. But if you're like most young men, and have a slight bent towards science and the real world, this'll give you a fascinating, semi-philosophical look at the science and reality behind what happened to you and your girlfriend.

I honestly suggest it because sometimes it's helpful just to consider something from a different perspective. That's not to say it'll change your mind, more that it'll just add to your understanding of an issue. And from that it might distract you a little from the emotional bullshit that's weighing you down right now, without feeling like you're just ignoring it.

My background is psychology, so while I have no background in grief counselling, I'm not talking out of my ass — and most importantly this is the sort of thing that would help me.

>because you're a fag
Pretty much this OP. Good thing it fucking died. You would have been a weak, terrible father.

Most women have miscarriages and some of them even grow up to post on Sup Forums.

>You may never forget but you'll just be caught up in how fucking great being a dad is

Thank you. I think you're 100% right - I do want to be a Dad so much. its warming to hear someone say how fun it is

I'll be such a good dad lol

Be glad you avoided that bullet.

Kids are the worst.

Time will lessen the pain, OP. I have 3 kids and have been through 2 miscarriages that were my creation and 1 each for my two daughters. Life is a bitch so just keep going.

Consider yourself lucky.

Do you cry and feel empty when you bust your load in a sock? no because it didn't have a heartbeat, or a mind to think for themselves in your opinion. So, whats the difference? You can tell people you known your whole life to go fuck themselves with no issue, but something you have zero attachment to until the miscarriage has your life upside down? is a bit bizarre.

Definitely understand the science side. I'm a working retrovirologist. Just the emotional side fucks me up, despite how I rationalise it

You'll get over it in a few weeks. She's going to be fucked up for a long time. My wife didn't get over our miscarriage until our son was about 2.

>Life is a bitch so just keep going.

These are the comments I made the thread for. I'll bounce back and have a family. I want a family so much

My ex had an miscarriage before I dated her. I only dated her because I felt sorry for her. Was nice for a year

Been there, bro. First attempt has a better than 50% failure rate.

We tried again, took about a year, and things stuck that time. My son's 1 now. Just keep at it.

look at it this way. It died before it was born, before you got to get too attached, before your wife had to go through a hellish physical experience, and before it had to know any suffering.
Just have another. Get some lorazepam or clonazepam to help you sleep, mix it with melatonin.

>First attempt has a better than 50% failure rate.

Do you know why that is? it was the first girl I'd got pregnant so it falls into that cat

pop the fucking champagne!

Oh I'm not trying to "explain" it to you through the podcast... it really is just interesting in its own light.

Don't try to rationalise it too much. If there's emotion there, there will be emotion for a while yet. But the rational side of your brain might just enjoy hearing more about the latest science and not so much taking your mind *off* it, but just freeing you up a little from the overwhelming emotion of it.

Because wallowing in a cesspit like Sup Forums isn't a good idea for too long.

Look after your bitch her hormones are probably way worse than yours.
Your feelings are all perspective.

Yes. But she fell down the stairs. Totally not my fault

>>First attempt has a better than 50% failure rate.
>it was the first girl I'd got pregnant so it falls into that cat

Not for you, you dolt. For her.

ex-'bitch'

She moved back to japan after she miscarried

Oh ofc. Sorry. Still didn't know that.

Thank you for the info. Wonder why that is.

>moved back to japan

oh stfu with your weeb fantasies

bruh

Quit your bitching and make another one you pussy

it did happen to me, i honestly don't see the point in worrying about things you have no control over, it does happen, i know it can be seen as bad but it does happen and that's the way the world works mate, chin the fuck up, it'll get better, you're still a faggot but it will get better broski

My girl aborted twins without telling me

She had an abortion because you are a beta and she doesn't want your babies. Cucking is next.

Pretty normal to be sad over it. Just b is filled with kids who are actually incapable of human empathy due to prolonged years of basement dwelling. I think give yourself time to feel better about it. Pretty common amongst men

Thanks fam. Thats the mindset I need

Shit happens. Happens to everyone. Move one, deal with it.

I still feel awfully sad, but I suppose that will never go away

I'm 37. I already have a 2 year old but we lost our second at only 7 weeks gestation. It was a missed-misscarrage though so we didn't know until our 12 week scan. Can you imagine...we went there expecting to see our 2nd child for the first time....I'll never forget my wife's howling when she told us.


Anyway...it's total shit. She had to have it removed as her body wasn't rejecting. They put all the tiny fellas in a casket and bury them in a local memorial centre but don't mark the grave as it's a "natural" thing. We've been to visit a few times.

It's shit but shit happens for a reason.

STOP FUCKING BREEDING

I'm genuinely sorry man, it's perfectly normal to be sad about a thing like that
I can't say that it's happened to me but I can only imagine
The only advice I can really give you is to give it time
There's no way you could have changed what happened, so you shouldn't blame yourself
I just hope you don't beat yourself up over it for so long that you miss out on the great things that kid probably would have wanted you to experience if he had lived

Thank you user, genuinely. Such a hard thing to deal with. Appreciate your advice and thoughts.

Its sad op been there twice. When it happens sometimes it's just the way that the womans body acts if there is something wrong with the baby

I have 0 issues with it - I don't think about it at all. Was 8th week. We already have a kid. It would have been teh 2nd one.

My wife gets really sad each year on the calculate delivery day. Especially as we tried to get anotherone which din't happen even with medical help. Now it wont happen for sure - too old.

If she sees a new mother which is twice her size or even older she really get tears in her eyes.
I heard that it happens to 50% or more and if we start talking with friends about it they almost all had problems. knowing your not alone and it's not your fault helps a little.

>GF has miscarriage
>Do the Murray Dance

Doesnt matter because it wouldnt be mine anyways.

That's why i called her a slut and accused her a cheating when she told me she was pregnant. Then walked out the door.

count your blessings.

Don't stress about the things you can't or couldn't control. That only makes everything terrible. Focus on what you CAN do.

Kill yourself. You are not a man, you are a ladyboy. You fucking piece of shit get off Sup Forums and Sup Forums you don't belong here.

thanks. helpful.

My girlfriends sister had a miscarriage at about 2 months. Shit sucks especially after trying for several years to get pregnant.

Give her the sympathy she deserves and all that so life will move on, right?

Wrong.

Her coworkers start getting pregnant and she becomes incredibly vindictive about it. Saying that they're being insensitive around her and she hates that it's so easy for them. And pretty much any form of congratulations to them feels like a slight against her. She's completely irrational and doesn't accept that this is the way things work sometimes.

She's finally pregnant again after all this shit and she still gets pissed at the people she works with who become pregnant.

I get it. It sucks. But move the fuck on. It's not like it went to full term and died.

who the fuck wants kids anyways. scrape em, dont make em

look i know i was a cunt in my first post but it will go away, it does happen i still maintain this but it will fade away, i won't lie i gave my miscarried child a name and now i can't even remember what it was, i just don't want you to make the mistakes i made

Experienced 2 miscarraiges which were very very early on. Just try and stay strong, its okay to cry. Take care of your girlfriend and work through it, there could be hiccups. Just stick at it, is a tough time.

Well you technically did have a child die on you.
But look on the bright side of it, your child probably had something wrong with it. If your girlfriend had carried it to term, it would probably not have had a pleasant life because of disability.
Feeling sad about it is totally normal and if you accept your emotions instead of fighting them, you'll have a better time of getting over them.

This happened to me, too. I have never been so relieved.

its because you are old, and your sperm is old.