ITT we work at a office

ITT we work at a office

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youtube.com/watch?v=aekiMlGQDLY
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>sits at his desk doing blow and playing with his tie

>where is the tech guy when I need him
>i cant save this file as a png

WHO THE FUCK PUT HOT DOGS DOWN THE TOLET!

it's chocolate milk Thursday boys! I just gotta nip to the scanner though can one of you guys watch this for me?

Can you believe Theresa came back from lunch twenty minutes late again?
I swear she must be sucking Brian's dick. If that was any of the rest of us, we'd be disciplined.

How to scale a picture guys?
I found a very nice meme online

Is it four-o-clock yet?

Fuck... not again.

I need IT. And more chocolate milk, stat!!

Can someone tell Rhonda to get back here with my stapler? 3 months is no longer a borrow, it's a theft.

Guys, there's cake in the break room.

who the fuck is brian tho?

You won't work there long with that grammar.
>a office
>yeah, ok, you can make the tea but no going near anything expensive.

Boss' son. He works in accounting.

Those aren't hot doggos Craig I told you I have IBS my stool looks and flushes weird

Hey guys i'm new to this office can you show me my desk?

is this Brian with the funny ties or Brian with the creepy furniture fetish?

Hey, Janet. You want to go out for drinks sometime? I've been through a divorce, too. It's good to have someone to talk to who's been through it.

Assuming Sup Forumstard NEETs know how to pretend to work is a bridge too far user. Especially office work.

Fuck you new guy, enjoy this shithole

EVERYONE ON THE GROUND WITH YOUR WALLET ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF YOU!

>Why are you talking to me?
>Why did you think that this virtual office would be any different than real life?
>I don't want to go out to drinks with you, nor does anyone in real life.
>God I can see why you went through a divorce.

Hi, i'm brian with the funny ties. Not the furniture dude. He came on my leather chair.

Especially office work? Are you implying office work is a step up in difficulty from any job?

Fuck off Jim, you do this every week and it isn't funny anymore, put the stapler down

you poor soul. do you have to sit on the floor now or did HR stretch to buy you another chair?

IT have you tried turning it off and on again?

you really think anyone here has anything worth stealing? gl pal

They bought me a new chair and completely ignore the fact I do blow.

NOT TIL I GET MY FUNNEL CAKE BITCH!

WHICH ONE OF YOU ATE MY SANDWHICH!?!?!?!?!

who the fuck walked away from a K22 paper jam?!?!?

I'm not sure that'll help right now but I'll give it a go

Ok, who the fuck thought it would be funny to make copies of their ass and put them all over my desk. Not funny guy!

hey, did you get my email?

Guys, I'm going to skip out, can someone clock me out at 6 tonight?

HEY YOUR NOT JIM??!?!

The one about bangin' Angela?

>sits down, begins shift
>keeps to himself for the entire shift
>i fucking hate this job and the people here

Alrighty and I was told to inform you we only have strawberry milk at the moment

fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:

OMG!!! have you guys seen this one?!?!?!

Hey Steve, I just sent you a really funny dog meme check your emails!

well you should not have put it in MY part of the fridge. i've even announced it during yesterdays staff meeting that the top left conrner is MINE

user, can you come into my office for a moment?

Hey so if you could go ahead and come in on saturday, that would be great

praise HR

are you fucking kidding me right now? I'm going home, fuck this job

>deletes email without opening
>continues to ignore people and actually do the work i'm being paid for.

Pass, it's my only scheduled day off, I'm taking it.

uh....you wanted to see me?

Hey Frank! Loved the dogs meme, great one man!

WHO TOOK MY DAMN STAPLER?

user your performance has been lacking since your wife left you. a-a-Are you back on banana user?

Yo Steve I'm guessing emails aren't working properly right now, don't worry about it I printed it off for you!

>"Hey buckaroony, boss just told me you have to use 'an' before a word with a vowel instead of 'a'. Be careful around the next quarterly review."

ILL JOIN YOU, SORRY FOR TRYING TO ROB YOU!

ok...who nuked fish in the microwave?????

i've got it under control...i can quit any time

>hands it off to the boss as I'm declining the saturday shift

Bob thought this was a good use of the printer ink.

we not allowed to do that anymore?

What about things like "an historical event?"

>Furiously masterbating

isnt it great that there is no trap nigger muslims sjw working here. Shame about the asbestos and the Stabby Steve in the kitchen

user please, we need you at the top of your game. Here, i've signed you up for bananas anonymous

ha Bob that's hilarious! come into my office so we can talk about your next promotion!

Yo boss, chad is off his meds again

>continues to loathe his job

Time to hit the break room.

F*CK IT I QUIT YALL NEVER HAVE SHIT IN YOUR WALLETS/LOCKERS! JIM OUT!

Did July manage to run the reports yesterday, does anyone know?

Alright you ravioli, I'm going to file a formal complaint with HR if you ever have the gall to insist that h can be used as a vowel...you're still up giving me a ride to the train though right? You know my bike chain is still a little wonky, heh heh.

youtube.com/watch?v=aekiMlGQDLY

THIS IS MY FUCKING SPACE AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT

>continues to masturbate furiously

If you pay me $5 for gas, sure

>>how do I tell these people I hate them completely and never want to see any of them again

>>they all hate me and never ask me about my life or what I want

>>i wish I was rich so I could get the fuck out of here

I'll do software dev, the seat at the back, by the window is mine. I'm gonna black out the windows and turn the lights off.

If you want anything, just email me.Make sure you use your work email so It goes straight to trash.

$5? It's like 4 blocks and you go that way to go home anyway you faggit

user my mouse isn't clicking right, I think i have a virus

Can you come over and take look at my home computer on friday?

>company won't let us have Google Chrome
why did you let this happen

Craig stop fucking day dreaming and get on with your work.

Everyone is starting to get real tired of your shit.

I brought in a delicious egg salad sandwich for lunch. Looks like I dodged a dreadful case of the Mondays! :D xDxD

>always wonder what user is thinking about over there at his desk
>he never talks to anyone
>never really goes to any of the functions
>always gets his lunch at his desk like he is better than everyone else
>seems like kind of an asshole
>we tried to invite him to the holiday party a few weeks ago
>"yeah i'll be there"
>never showed up
>always does this shit
>such an asshole

Oh you know what? My cars in for repairs...sorry, next time

I downloaded a funny picture and now I can't get onto my computer, can you come take a look

Andrew where the fuck are those reports I asked for? They were meant to be on my desk last Friday.

i fucking hate you user

WHO THE EVER LIVING FUCK DOWNLOADED CP ON THE MAIN SEVER!

Whose turn is it to get the afternoon burgers ?

I went at lunch time.

So.. Christine..... you think you might want to grab lunch with me today? I know this reall.....

Oh okay, maybe tomorrow.

So like, do they drug test or no?

I finished them ages ago boss I've just been deciding on if I should use times new roman or helvetica

Mushroom swiss pls

DUDE, CHAD WTF MAN

>Jason thinks he so fucking funny telling me to stop daydreaming
> if he only knew I daydream about buying this company and firing his ass so his qt3.14 would leave him

They do but no-one ever passes and they can't fire everyone...

I shredded them because it was just the word HOMO repeated 1054 times

NEED IT HERE QUICK
Rented a bluetooth movie from redbox to watch on lunch break
keep pressing the bluetooth button on my laptop and putting the disc in
keep getting disc read error
IT needs to check out this laptop fast
definitely broken

Is this what larger offices are like? My office is 5 bros and its pretty chill. Then again were a msp.

*takes last donut*

Look buddy, I know you're new here but we use Comic Sans for ALL written documents, not just for memos.
I swear to Christ if you keep this shit up you'll be out the door by the end of the week.