You come home and find this on your living room couch. What do?

You come home and find this on your living room couch. What do?

finally lose my virginity and be the first on Sup Forums to get laid

Sniff feet.
Duh....

rape

>719000976

Why, hello. Let me introduce you to the many ways a female can experience sexual ecstasy...

call 9-11 i know its a paid prostitute who has cams and shit and wants to call rape.

so i call the cops, go to court and bam make some free cash

>move that bitches legs
>casually plop my ass on the couch like i always do
>grab the remote from wherever the fuck it is
>get it off Lifetime.
>put it on something that actually gotta make you think
>successfully make her submissive
>proceed to have some kind of sex based upon how all that shit made her "feel atm"

make her a bowl of eggs

edit

then actually like cuddle up on the couch and spoon till we fall asleep

fuck her feet

>tfw you have no one to cuddle with tonight

Invite her to leave my house, gently close the door after her, rush and sniff the couch while fap and think about dead dogs, eat cum and cry for this shameful action. Classic.

Nice try f.b.i.
360 and walk away

if she gonna have her feet on my couch i better be allowed to lick em

Facefuck that cute lil face.

pull out my american gun and ask the foreigner to kindly leave my land, and then shoot her one second later. Then claim my american rights about shooting anyone that I see fit

GET YOUR DIRTY FUCKING FEET OFF MY MOTHER FUCKING COUCH

...

tell her to get her nasty sweaty as fuck feet off of my couch

why dont you clean them for her

Tell her to get her fucking feet off the furniture, I paid for that shit.... God damn sluts

because im not a man servant for her and in fact im still trying to figure out why the fuck she is in my house with her shitty lipstick

Who the fuck is this? Where is my girlfriend?
I'd kick this bitch out

>Where is my girlfriend?
good one

I get excited that my apartment is big enough for a living room all the sudden.

and get athlete's dick

...

>"h-hey there, I just smelled something funny. let me just see-"
>*bury my face in her sweaty soles, moisturizing my face as I inhale like its my last breath*
>"oh my. this delicious aroma seems to be coming from you feet. well to be sure let me just try something"
>*go in for round 2 but let out the tongue and lap her soles heel to toe*
>continue sucking on her toes and try to fit as much of her feet in my mouth as i can holding her arches like a sandwich
>swirl tongue around like I am examining and release, leaving a bridge of saliva as spit drips down her soles
>"yep definitely your feet. just had to make sure"
>go to my room and masturbate

she has already taken off with the second line