So I'm looking to destroy my speech faculty for at least a long time, at least a year

So I'm looking to destroy my speech faculty for at least a long time, at least a year.
Googling it is no help.
I'm looking for, like, maybe a piercing I can get that will hold my tongue down or maybe a way of disabling my voice-box through some sort of non-invasive home procedure.

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wikihow.com/Lose-Your-Voice
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Just hold a stone in your mouth.
You must be pretty uneducated.

Why would you want to do this?

Firstly, this isn't about my level of education.
Second, a stone in the mouth is too easy to go back on; I could just take it out.
I'd prefer to do something that would lead to me either never talking again, or having to go through great troubles to reverse.

Ok user out with it
What are you avoiding?

Talking hahaha

Talking hahaha

Try this.

Works every time.

Now shut the fuck up.

Ahaha I miss Sup Forums whenever I go away.
Full of angry little retards with nowhere to aim their anger.
Makes me feel a lot better about myself.
If anyone has any actual suggestions, I'm happy to hear them.

i guess i could understand wanting to do this. Say enough stupid things you regret and you just wana swear off it all together. I suppose if you just keep screaming as much as you can till you loose your voice and then continue to try and scream until you do irreparable damage to your vocal cords. Probably the only thing I could think of. Aside from having surgery to kill all the nerve endings in your tongue but good luck finding a surgeon qualified and not on a back alley in mexico to do it for you. I don't really see how you could get a piercing under your tounge. Then again I've seen some pretty crazy cosmetic mouth surgeries. Like the guys that think they're snakes or w.e. and surgically get their tongues split. I guess find out who did those surgeries and sign up to get your ability to form words removed. Best of luck to you user, don't let anybody tell you that you can't fuck up your life in any crazy way you feel.

I found this handy guide to losing your voice

wikihow.com/Lose-Your-Voice

These all lead to me making even more noise and losing my voice for maybe a day or 2 max. Thanks though

Ahaha thanks.

Anyone have any other ideas?
Preferably a doctor.

I'm a surgeon.

This is a common medical procedure.
What we do is bolt your tongue to your lips with a wing nut.
Pic related.

I'm a brain doctor.
First, don't listen to the bolt surgeon. I know him and he's a quack.
What you want to do is operate on the medulla oblongata, which is the part of the brain that controls speech.

Seriously?
A common procedure?
Care to elucidate?
Are you American? Do American doctors just do whatever they're paid to do?

Ooooh I see haha
See, I'm looking for serious answers.
Funny, though.

I'm a rubber nurse.

Don't listen to the oath two doctors, all they want is your money.
I can male you stop talking foe as long as you want.
What you have to do is put the tip of your tongue on the end of my cervix and keep it there until I tell you to stop.
I'll never tell you to stop.

just stop talking after a while your brain will rewire and talking will be hard as fuck to do.

Haha brilliant.

I've actually tried this and I basically don't have the self-control.

May I ask why the fuck would you want to do a thing like that for?

It wouldn't stop you communicating, you'd just learn sign language

I'm a medical clown.

Don't listen to the doctors or the nurse. They don't know what they're talking about and all they want is your money.
What you want to so is buy a little bicycle horn, and honk it instead of speaking.
It's cheap and really works.

Clowns have been annoying people like this for years, much more effective than asking stupid questions on the internet and expecting 'serious' answers.

Because I do.
No one else I know would learn to sign, though, so that's fine by me.

No such thing as stupid questions.
Only stupid people who think that it could ever be a stupid thing to want to learn something.
You know, like learning. That thing smart people do. Smart being the opposite of stupid.
Yeah?
We on the same page?
Gooood.

become the lead voice in a death metal band

I'm a professional medical dog.

Don't listen to the doctors, the rubber nurse or the clown. All they want is your money, and to make you look foolish.
What you want to do if you want to stop speaking is to continuously vomit for about a week. Take breaks only to eat something, and then keep vomiting.
If you're on a budget, you can recycle the big pieces.
The hydrochloric acid in your stomach vomit will burn out your vocal chords and you won't be able to speak.
Plus, you can't talk while you vomit, so you have the solution immediately.

move to some african shit hole - you wont find anyone who will be able to talk to you for the next year if you're moving on foot

This a meme?

> "What's that screaming sound?"
>" Oh, that's just OP, he's been screaming for weeks now, nobody knows why"

Ahahaha "You can recycle the big pieces"

What's a meme?

what am i looking at

I'm a professional speech therapist.

Don't listen to the doctors, the rubber nurse, the clown, or the medical dog.
They don't know what they're talking about and all they want is your money.

What you want to do is buy a can of fish assholes and wrap each one tightly around your tongue.
When you're finished it should look like a little ribbed hot dog.
You won't be able to speak with it, plus it will drive the women crazy.

Failure and disappointment.

Arthropneumatic patellar kneemonic reconstruction procedure with wing nut insertion.

just don't talk. employ a shred of discipline rather than have the ability forcibly taken from you. don't infantilize yourself like this, thinking you need things locked away from you because you lack the ability to control voluntary motor skills.

we do the things we want to do. you can try to rationalize failure to accomplish the things you claim to want, but ultimately you take the path with the consequences you're prepared to live with. if you truly want it then do it. if you need someone to take it from you then you're jus admitting to being an emotional infant.

tell others it's a spiritual thing or something. vow of silence. you will not speak unless it is true, it is kind, and it improves upon the silence.

The force is strong in this one.

dubs of truth. also, with discipline eventually comes routine. once you delevop the tools to live in silence, then it should be easier.

Just become that hermit from Life of Brian.

Live in a hole outside Judea and grow juniper.