You wake up tomorrow and are suddenly the next Pope

>You wake up tomorrow and are suddenly the next Pope
>1/5th of the world's population looks to you for guidance
>You can make any reform, change, mandate and call for any kind of movement from your followers and at least a few million will go along with it no matter what because they believe you literally speak for God

What is the first thing you do, Sup Forums?

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youtube.com/watch?v=aekiMlGQDLY
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerical_celibacy#Rules_for_Christian_clergy
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reestablish kingdom of Jerusalem

>Change succession laws to primogeniture inheritance
>Expel the jews
>Hold a grand tournament

Crusade against transgenderisn

Launch a crusade to reclaim france from the mudslimes

hire some more altarboys

Call all true followers to meet at church. Setup a livestream only they can access. Call them to take up arms and kill everyone who isn't a true believer.

Hire the best security in the world. Fortify the Vatican and kill as many people as possible.

Priests can marry.

Tell the truth, Gods do not exist.

Reinstate the triple tiara.

I'd ask the French to stop being such cucks.

>repeal rules against pope having sex/getting married
>audition true believers for papal harem
>recruit standing army for Vatican
>begin expanding empire by conquering heavily Christian african countries that are controlled by warlords
>gain more soldiers
>repeat in central and south america
>retake Rome
>call for full crusade against muslims in the holy land

Start a crusade

Crusade

>Reinstitute Latin
>Declare that so long jerusalem is owned by either jews, christians or muslims, there will be strife
>Declare Jerusalem to be rightful Japanese territory
>Call Israel a shit state for being a jewish state not proclaimed by the Messiah (neither one they recognize nor Jesus)
>Threaten Turkey with a crusade if they make Haga Sofia a mosque again (which they're actually planning)
>Cooperate more with orthodox lads in general

BRING ME PETER PAN!

Raise vassal levies

Hire women to do church stuff. Don't have to be a gay pedo anymore, just a regular pedo. feelsgood

"U guys are all a bunch of fucking fags"
then proceed to leave the Vatican

>Build keep
>Build barracks
>Build mustering ground
>Raise demesne levies
>Slaughter all vassals and consolidate power

>call for conference with Eastern Orthodox Patriarchs, Eastern Orthodox Patriarchs, Anglican Archbishops and leaders of large Protestant Churches
>Form new Holy League
>Retake Constantinople and the Holy Land and divide it's Kingdoms amongst members of league
>Exterminate kebab

Allow all teachings and resources to be absorbed and changed by Donald Trump, and see how the rest of the world reacts. For the lulz.

Announce we're converting to Mormons. All Preists, Nuns, Cardinals, Monks, etc. are to marry.

>deliver first homily
>spill spaghetti all over the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica

>Launch Crusade to retake Israel and Palestine
>Kill the Jews and Arabs living there
>Re establish Mandatory Palestine

>have master craftsman make fancy, golden-emcrusted chest
>kill him so no one knows
>bring it forth during Homily
>say it's the Arc of the Covenant and that God spoke to me and told me where to find it
>Allow true believers to see it up close and kiss the chest
>open the chest in front of eager crowd
>I pooped in the chest

hey OP what do you think of this youtube.com/watch?v=aekiMlGQDLY

Build 2 probes, nexus, 3 more probes, pylon, gateway, zealot, one more gateway, one more zealon, one more pylon...

Deus Vult

Crusade against muzzies
DEUS VULT

Declare Protestants heretics on the same level as Muslims and Atheists. Declare that all true believers around the world gather their arms and burn local dirty protestant churches.

Ha! Joke's on you. I'm a big ol' queer.

>priests, nuns, etc can marry
>defund the vatican
>all the money from selling everything down to the pope ring goes to charity
>watch catholics try to kill me

COMMUNISM LITERALLY EVERYWHERE

It's what Jesus would have wanted.

for real though I don't know why but muslims trying to get their grimy little hands on the Hagia Sofia actually triggers me. I didn't even built and I doubt my family was in the crusades but that shit makes me angry for some reason, I really don't know why.

1. Call upon the Faithful to remove kebab
2. Great success!
3. Billions join Catholic faith
4. Named Saint Anonymous upon death

war on islam!
conquer the middle east!
deus vult!

First thing? Choosing my Papal name, I guess.

Pope Pepe I.

Then declare all non-whites to be heretics and the spawn of Cain.

In some rites of the Catholic Church, if a man is married, he may still become a priest. But if a man is single, or becomes a widower while a priest, he cannot marry or remarry.

So could the Pope theoretically be married? Like, could someone be married then become a Priest and then Bishop and Cardinal and be chosen as Pope? What title would the Pope's wife have?

Actual catholic here. No, priests cannot be married or date, they live celibate. There's a title called a deacon that CAN be married, however they don't carry the same rights as a priest, so they can't lead like a priest does. A deacon will be second to a priest. They act as more of an assistant.

Priests can be married if they were married before becoming Catholic and taking the cloth. There are former Protestant preachers that converted to Catholicism, became Priests and still have wives.

I know this is Sup Forums, but I promise you are wrong. Priests can never be married, not before or during priesthood. Its a violation of the vocations of the catholic church.

Make it a mortal sin for any Catholic to own a firearm. Pass decree that all true believers must carry a melee weapon on them at all times "to protect the faith". Sit back and see what happens.

In the Latin Rite, this is correct. But their are other Rites, in full communion with Rome, that have their own traditions. And in some of them, a priest can be married. And in cases that are not all that rare, a priest from one Rite may decide to join the Latin Rite, even if he is married.

Celibacy is a teaching of the Catholic Church. It is not the same as the dogma that says women cannot be priests. In the early church, priests were often married and had families. It might not happen, but it is possible that the church could change it's teaching on married priests.

I never understood why Priests needed to be celibate anyway. Why would having a wife or getting laid make a difference?

Honestly I probably would walk away, too much of a headache, too much to maintain to keep everyone devoted, to hell with it all. Someone else can have it.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerical_celibacy#Rules_for_Christian_clergy

>Since the start of the pontificate of Pope Pius XII (1939–1958), exceptions may be allowed for married Protestant ministers or Anglican clergy who convert to Catholicism and wish to become priests in the Catholic Church, provided their wives consent.

>In Eastern Orthodox Churches, and Eastern Catholic Churches (which latter are in full communion with Rome), married men may be ordained to any order except as bishops, and one may not marry after ordination as a subdeacon.

Benedict XVI, is that you?

Then it stops being a Catholic denomination and probably closer to an Orthodox christian denomination. Roman catholicism is the same catholicism as others with different titles. Orthodox Christianity is similar to catholicism, but not the same.

There is a difference between Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Rite churches. The Eastern Rite churches ARE part of the Catholic Church.

Being an exception, its obviously not the rule.

Are there any former careers that prohibit someone from becoming a Priest if they wish to do so later in life?

>You can make any reform, change, mandate and call for any kind of movement from your followers

>priests are allowed to marry now
>christians are allowed to use condoms now
>being gay is okay now

with three simple steps I have reformed the Catholic faith and ensured its survival. you are welcome.

Next one up:
>abortions are okay now

thats probably the hardest from a theological pov so i put it up as extra point

Perma ban for trap/dick rate threads.

sell off artworks and land.
build schools, hospitals, farms &factories to produce basic shoes/clothing/ medicines/solar panels/solar lamps/solar water filters/electric bikes. order everyone to study STEM. Fund AI research and build a network of supercomputers. tell everyone to kill the jews, conatin the muzzies afger they're kicked out of europe. murder all roma. Make elon Musk next pope, retire with child harem.

None at all. However you still need to go to school to become a priest, and if you've been married or divorced will be considered for priesthood. Previous jobs (no matter if sinful or not) can be forgiven, but marriage and divorce is another type of "job" in the catholic church, called a vocation.

>"miraculously" find a lost page of the bible that says to please God you need to conquer and be the best in life.
>slowly turn Christianity back to the old ways of roman or viking conquest.
>Take the entire world with an army of believers
>create an empire to rule for all eternity
>???
>profit

Pedophillia is no longer sin

So, say, one could hypothetically have been a soldier that killed 30 kebabs and fucked lots of women and then have a spiritual awakening at the age of 50, go through seminary and become a Priest?

Wonder how I became Pope and be confused by all of the Latin and Italian gibberish surrounding me

You've just pointed out the failings of all religions, but yes you could be absolved of sins. But only if its something you truly wanted to be forgiven for. And you also have a punishment too. You may be asked to do hard labor or asked to devote 20 years more in your life to being a monk or friar, THEN you can be a priest. There's safeguards against that kind of stuff too.

Yeah wouldn't work large amounts of people are now atheist and governments don't use religion to control the people anymore. You would get bombed the fuck out of

Still like a billion Catholics in the world though. If a Pope called for something like this, there would be some kind of impact. Or the Pope would get assassinated.

Create a new Templar-like order of "knights" that are loyal to me only and send one to each Capitol around the world to serve as an ambassador of sorts. Sometimes use them to threaten war or assassinate heretics.

Wow, it's a good thing you need to be an adult to become the Pope.

Do you though? Can't the college of cardinals theoretically pick any Catholic to be the Pope?

Crown my horse as King of Jerusalem.

I would think that a child wouldn't be confirmed though, right? Would they still count as a catholic? Do you only need to be baptized? This is a good question, actually.

Yeah, I don't know. Do we know who the youngest Pope on record is?