Autistic

>Autistic
>Been dumped a year ago
>Hadn't been so much as kissed since then
>0 tinder matches after trying indiscriminately for a year
>Unemployed
>Considered 90% unemployable, hence on benefits.
>Addicted to alcohol and weed
>209lbs at 5'11"
>Balding
>Student debt, unpaid medical insurance bills piling up

Be honest, my family and acquaintances would be happier without me wouldn't they? I can't get a straight answer out of them, it's always "I wouldn't ever get over your suicide", "I'd be heartbroken" etc. etc.

Wouldn't you be happier seeing a worthless subhuman prick you know remove itself?
I've been contemplating hanging myself for the last three years, things have not gotten better, I think it's time, right?

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yeah, might as well get it over with....natural selection is a scientific fact of life after all right?

>Hadn't been so much as kissed since then

Found your problem. You expect things to happen to you instead of making them happen yourself. Very common issue. Fix it.

It's even funnier because suicide would be something you actually did for yourself instead of working out, getting a job, drinking less, etc.

Nothing some daily push ups and sit ups can't fix m8

I'm not a rapist or an harasser. I know when I get zero signal and hence when to back off pre-emptively. It's immoral to chase what you don't deserve.

But I don't think it'll matter much in the future.

is right, natural selection ought to happen. I probably won't today as I'm a pussy and I'm still hung up on 'consequences'. But every push forward is a small victory.

I do try to drink less, haven't been drinking for two weeks now, even started running, I'm applying for a volunteer job.

All it did was drive home that I'm not worth that effort. Trying to improve myself is an insult to anyone else alive.

No, no, killing yourself is not the answer.

I was in your position duder. I'm high functioning autistic, and I couldn't leave the house. I've always smoked weed.

Listen, the first step is getting outside. I know, there's people out there. Wear headphones and actively ignore them. Do whatever you have to, just walk around the block once a week. Get used to it. Go twice a week.

Sounds dumb, but I went and fed ducks. 10 minute walk away, no human interaction, and I was outside. I enjoyed it after a while, but really had to force it at first.

Once you're used to being outside, apply for any and all jobs. Once you're hired explain you're autistic. You'd be surprised how people will go out of their way to help you. The only problem is you can't get high or drunk before work. You'll get used to it.

Then comes the GF.

I followed these steps and now i'm a warehouse worker, and I have a partner. You have a future. Only you can make it happen.

Don't kill yourself, please.

>It's immoral to chase what you don't deserve.

Morals only exist in your mind. You'll never help yourself until you figure this out.

It'd also make you a huge hypocrite if you killed yourself because, according to your own logic, it'd be immoral to do so.

Hanging is not a good choice.

Writing a book or a memoir helps. It's something to be proud of. A log maybe

Why not? It's cheap and it has a high success rate. Iive on my own so I can avoid resque pretty well and I can aptly warn services before they enter my house.

It hurts, I tested hanging by my neck, but it's pretty irreversible if you go high enough.

Guns and lethal medication aren't as readily available here (nl) as in the US, so those are out of the question. I will not victimize a train driver or a crowd at the bottom of a high building. Cutting arteries is too hardcore and involved for me, also, I might panic and scream for help in my last lucid moments.

So hanging it is.

Try to erase some niggers from the world while you make yourself disappear pls

As long as there's someone to grief you when you're gone. You don't deserve to kill yourself you selfish fuck. Wasting the life your parents gave you.

Waarom wil je zelfmoord plegen man, ik snap dat het leven je tegen lijkt te zitten maar denk je serieus dat het het waard is om je leven te eindigen? je gelooft me misschien nu niet maar het gaat sowieso wel beter worden dude. Probeer uit je sleur te komen, focus je niet op meiden te pakken te krijgen op tinder. ( heb ik ook geprobeerd, je gaat alleen maar aan jezelf twijfelen...) Probeer iets van je leven te maken, ookal lijkt alles nu omeunig kut

Lmao you literally have canals to drown yourself in to make it look like a proper accident, but nope, you'd rather go out like an autistic martyr via hanging yourself, again proving you're a big fucking hypocrite breaking every moral fiber you claimed to have in your pudgy body.

You do not deserve death. I condemn you to live out every last fear you can comprehend.

Dubs and OP pull himself together and get back on track with his life, get out of addiction, get dream job and wife.

Be an hero OP. Yes you can!

Honestly, this guy pretty much laid it out for you

deze gast heeft idd gelijk, je moet eerst van jezelf houden voordat iemand anders van jou kan houden

solid advice, would smoke a blunt with this man

This also. Shit doesn't just magically happen to make it okay. You need to put the work in if you want to be happy. We all share the common trait of being impatient and that we just want shit to happen but im afraid the world doesn't work that way.

>Addicted to weed
Nigga pls

The thing is, I used to do somewhat fine but I'm sliding back.

I can't just apply for jobs, I'm incredibly stupid. 12 years ago I got a job stocking shelves at a supermarket. Got fired for being too slow.

After that got a job punching in archives for a chain of retirement home, got fired.

Been a customer service employee, had to quit because I couldn't take 5hrs a day of passively taking verbal abuse.

Sold liquor, had to quit

I never held a good job, I'm too dumb to figure out how to do those jobs on my own, I always need training.

Normal people aren't this deficient, there's no point to me. I don't see what I can possibly contribute.

Killing yourself is the easy way out faggot. Join the military or some shit and be a welfare queen. How old are you anyway?

You think the rest of the population likes working in shitty jobs like supermarkets and standing at a till all day getting shit for no reason. Its those people that make the world go round. No one likes to do it but we do it so we can get money and live, buy nice things for ourselves and other people. The pros outweigh the cons every time man. You just have to be patient with yourself and other people. Grow up man.

OP, focus on yourself instead of focusing in on "girls." girls are an ancillary bonus once you have found your inner flame... think of them as moths, drawn to whatever passionate flame you have inside you...this draws a certain KIND of girl, but it's a start..

whatever the fuck it is you're passionate about, you need to throw yourself into it. you wanna be a poker pro? you better be playing those MTTs for 8 hours then reviewing hands/reading theory for the other 4. you wanna learn japanese? you should be reading japanese books and studying grammar, memorizing vocabulary, and generally thinking about the language all the time. then, before you're ready, take a trip to japan alone and throw yourself into the flame. you wanna go pro at dota? then play dota for 12 hours a day and actually fucking train, don't just dick around and pretend like you're trying to get better.

western society has this RETARDED aspect where they shame people that are passionate, calling them "autistic" or "obsessive." they're just fucking words, and you shouldn't give them any fucking credit. people will tear you down so that they "feel" better because they're weak as fuck and lazy. fuck them. they're malicious whether they know it or not, and you should treat people as such if they're going to be a dick to you.

You'll hear a lot of people telling you to go to the gym. You should. Every day. The key to a healthy mind is a healthy body. You can't concentrate on your passions if you're fat and feel like shit all the time. Do starting strength, eat vegetables and fruit, learn to cook, balance your budge every month, etc etc etc. you'll start to enjoy having your life in order and not feeling like a piece of shit all the time, and you'll start to resent people that are lazy as fuck and complain all the time instead of helping themselves.

Also, start reading for an hour every day. Read aloud too, since it'll help you focus better and take books slower, allowing you to get more out of it. pt1

I was in the same frame of mind as OP, i set small goals and accomplished them one at a time. It's hard. But I look back now, and i'm glad I didn't neck myself and stuck to my goals. I never imagined life could be so good.

precies goed

Thanks user. I roll a mean fatty.

This.

Start low, and don't call yourself stupid.

Try out cleaning. Vacuuming offices and stuff. Nobody around, nobody to watch you, or be upset with you for being too slow. You can take your time. It's usually the type of job to be done at night.

Decide what you want to do with your life. Study it thoroughly. On google, in a library, go to school if you have to. We can retain information like you won't believe.

Then get dream job, take all of your training with you, explain from the start you learn differently and it will take a while, but you'll do your best. You will improve as you learn.

And for fuck's sake, stop putting yourself down. You're awesome. You're alive. Grab life by the horns and make it your bitch.

>I don't see what I can possibly contribute.

Jesus, I hate this stupid fucking type of attitude.

No one knows exactly why they are here. You are not special in this regard, dipshit!

The point is to find whatever stupid thing you're good at (stock market, coding, pokemon) and do that thing the best you possibly can until you die.

Maybe, if you're lucky, some girl will take notice of how good you are at pokemon, and even suck your dick or create another person with you.

Only then can you decide to kill yourself, after you get frustrated watching your own spawn fail at the same shit and make the same piss poor excuses you did twenty years prior.

People say it's immoral. At the same time though, isn't it immoral to take resources away that could've gone to useful people?

As for my parents, they love me, but they have also repeatedly stated being extremely ashamed of having an autistic son. They would have preferred a person but got an autist.

Somewhere I think my parents would be happy.

Het uitzicht houdt gewoon een beetje op onderhand. Ik heb m'n HBO niet kunnen afmaken en daardoor een mengeling van schuld en een slechte ligging in de arbeidsmarkt die verder studeren onmogelijk maakt (geen recht meer op stufi etc).

Voor m'n ouders en familie ben ik (terecht) een punt van schaamte. Ik kom als mislukte HKU student uit een nest met advocaten, piloten en journalisten.

Als het puntje bij paaltje komt heb ik m'n verwachtingen m'n hele leven al moeten terugdraaien, verder en verder en het lijkt niet te stoppen.

Heeft Nederland werkelijk nog een gast met zo'n oranje veiligheidshesje nodig die bier zit te drinken en shag staat te roken voor de Jumbo met een stel lotgenoten tot hij op z'n 53e overlijd aan onbehandelde diabetes en levercirrose?

M'n kansen worden kleiner en kleiner. Ik ben 28 met alleen een MBO Media vormgeving van acht jaar geleden achter m'n kiezen. Ik word nog niet aangenomen voor achter de kassa.

Met de liefde blijft het zo ook uit, ik ben onverkoopbaar.

Dus ik zie mezelf gewoon niet als de moeite waard. Het is minder zelfmoord uit verdriet en wanhoop, meer een ontslag vanwege laag presteren.

avoid reading contemporary unless it's foreign like murakami. you're not reading so that you can be fucked with AGAIN by modern society, you're reading to learn from the greats and to be exposed to new view points... Kafka, Kant, Nietzsche, Gogol, Charlotte Bronte, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Austen, etc etc etc.. read it all, even if you don't enjoy it at first.

Then, once you're TRULY a somewhat cultured person, you'll have those fucking annoying girls around you that you so crave right now... the girls that are vapid and have no substance whatsoever, but hey, they have boobs... but you'll probably hate them by that point for who they are, and since you're such a hard working mofo you'll want a girl that actually helps build you up instead of just a wet hole... that's pure luck though, they're not very common, just like you're not very common.

Just remember OP, if you forget everything else from this post. Only fools will laugh at you for trying. If you want to learn japanese, and people on Sup Forums call you a weeb and talk shit, FUCK them. you'll know a new language in 3 years and they'll be still insulting people on the internet for trying to live their lives...

just my 2c :)

you cant get addicted to weed!

Wow man, Ik ben op dit moment ook een HKU student. Ik heb ook een diploma van het MBO media en vormgeving :') Misschien ken ik je wel. Woon je toevallig in utrecht?

en ik ben misschien ook een beetje aan het falen, ik heb binnenkort herkansingen en ik loop al best ver achter. geen motivatie te vinden en ik stress hem hard

>At the same time though, isn't it immoral to take resources away that could've gone to useful people?

No, you dense fungus! Because no one actually deserved those resources to begin with!

Why is this so difficult for non-autists to understand?

Jabba won neechee kochba mu shanee wy tonny wya uska.

youtube.com/watch?v=X-Y6YfDBmh8

28. Can't join the military, I wouldn't pass the psych test.

The point is more that I'm too useless even for the shit jobs. I can't clean an entire office floor spotlessly in fifteen minutes, I don't know how to do inventory, I can't drive and I'm shit at most everything else.

Everything I try I fail at, employers know this. I've applied, but that's the second cool thing about being unemployed, it creates a gap in your resume employers will be wary of.

Once you're out long enough they don't let you in anymore.

I am an autist. I thought that'd be evident both from saying it and everything else about how I write and think?

Nee, ik woon in Zwolle, kom sowieso van een lichting van drie jaar geleden. Ik studeerde AVM in Hilversum, kwam het laatste jaar niet door, ik liep volledig vast met de eindfilm, kon geen geld of mensen regelen.

Probeer er uit te halen wat er in zit, kunst en media zijn belachelijk competief, zodra je de moed verliest gaat je carriere de mijne achterna.

Thanks man, ik zal proberen er het beste van te maken.

>I am an autist.

What do you think this is a proper excuse for, exactly?

stop bitching and do something. start small, start a good habit, and eventually grow from small habits to big habits. rome wasn't made in a day and being an autist isn't an excuse for anything

You think everyones resume is 100% truthful. Iv'e had over 7 jobs in the space of 2 years but I only put 2 jobs because 7 jobs looks bad even though they mostly ad-hoc jobs. The employer doesn't need to know EVERY LITTLE DETAIL. Most interviews are mostly personality tests as opposed to ability confirmation. They're just people, like you. Trying to get by your interviewer probably took a nice big stinky dump that morning and wiped too much and cut their asshole. Some people like to think they're above everyone but we all shit on a toilet at the end of the day. The day you start thinking like that then all your 'limitations' will be non-existent

The tallest mountain started out from a stone my friend. It just takes time.

>The thing is, I used to do somewhat fine but I'm sliding back.
Your fundamental problem is a lack of willpower. You need the will to live.

Fortunately, willpower can be trained. It's like a muscle.

The best way to develop it is physical exercise, because it makes you confront pain and discomfort, and learn to overcome it. Start doing press-ups, and try to do more each day. Test yourself against the pain barrier, and try to push through.

Once you learn to take pain, and get past it, you can start pushing forward in other areas of life. You might even like how the exercise develops your body, which will give you some much-needed self-esteem.

The Ancient Greeks knew all about this. They equated moral worth with a well-toned body. They realised that how you treat and discipline your body reflects on your character, and that developing one also develops the other.

youtube.com/watch?v=XMCYNH1EJTg

Listen to this and feel better fuccboi

Not physically. Mentally you can get addicted to literally anything that releases or helps release dopamine.

Good speech man, I think it'll help some people.

Problem is, I don't have passions. I used to like drawing but left it alone as I just wasn't good. Used to like making movies but stopped because my talents fall short.

I've always been taught that you should only do things you are good at, to never copy and that showing ineptitude at any moment is gravely insulting to anyone who sees it. Who are you to attempt something you are not talented at? I am talented at nothing, I have never excelled, my parents pulled me out of the sports I did because they were too ashamed of me. I wasn't allowed to learn an instrument because it'd be selfish of me to practise where they can hear it.

In the end, I have 0 rain man factor, I'm just socially retarded and less than human. I appreciate your help, I do, bit there's not much I can contribute to the world.

You called me a non-autist. Thought I'd correct that.

Look at mr. fancy over here with his toilets

Even got double ply toilet paper too, Much to good for sub-humans like yourself

>You need the will to live

That's the major problem. If Earth were a company and I were HR, I'd have fired myself a long time ago for lack of potential.

I can grow stronger, I'll still be weak.
I can learn more, I'll still be dumb
I can look better, I'll still be ugly
I can be nicer, I'll still be antisocial

There is nothing I could do at my peak performance that could not be done better by any random person at whatever level they are at.

So what's my use? What justifies the space I take on this, frankly, beautiful planet filled with wonderful and amazing people? This place is near perfect, its immensity is overwhelming and its beauty uncontested.

Except there's me, for as far as I can see that's a teeny tiny imperfection sullying an anotherwise nearly flawless world.

It's a shame I was born, really. Not a tragedy, just a bit of a bummer, like the one mouldy blueberry.

talent comes from hard work not from "being inherently better" at something. just don't be afraid to fail and you'll be fine

More fucking faggot excuses. I can't wait to hear the one you come up with for not kicking the chair out from underneath you when the time comes.

I bet it will be something like >but I'm autistic

Failing scares the shit out of me. I keep score, I remember every failure and I know I should hate myself for every one.

The people I know never failed beyond circumstances beyond their control. My parents only failed once, they made me.

I fail out of stupidity or incompetence. It's hard not to be afraid of failing if it underlines that you need to die.

Iv'e done all I can really and you clearly can't be fucked to take anyones advice as you keep making excuses as to why you can't do things. All I want to do to you now is put you in front of a Syrian child who's parents have either been blown to fucking pieces or executed in front of them and tell you to tell them your horrible problems. I used to be just like you and I lost many friends because of the exact attitude you have. The world doesn't revolve around you so either conform or die just as nature intended.

To others (and yourself), you may be a worthless subhuman prick, but to your family, you're not

Let me get this straight. You have a free ride in life (Benefits) and you still want to kill yourself? This doesn't make sense to me. Far to much porn and anime on the internet these days.

I think we're having two entirely different conversations here.

Anyhow, your first point is that no one deserves anything to begin with. That might be so at birth but from that point on the tally starts on your sucesses and failures. As long as your successes outweigh your failures, you have a right to life.

As soon as the scale tips, you are useless and on borrowed time, it's because society is merciful that failures get to live, but you lose your right to life once you fail too much. After all, what use is a failure? The majority outrules the minority, your desire for life and happiness cannot trump the duty to be a useful tool for others.

The benefits come down to €815 a month, it's a meagre living.

Added to that, the law's changing in 2018, I'm expected to fend for myself by then.

I know I'm a little bitch with little bitch problems. Aren't we all in the free world?

If I could give that kid my life I would, he deserves it more.

>so either conform or die
That's exactly what I'm trying to muster up the courage for to do so.

Yep. Some people just like to wallow in self-pity. And they like everybody else to know about it too. Misery loves company.

OP is a faggot. I'm out.

Do you seriously think successful people just never fail? They somehow are just the luckiest people on earth?

I can't fix your shitty attitude. You've already acquiesced. What's worse is the reliance on your "disability" that you take advantage of as your biggest crutch.

Good luck.

Wait so let me get this straight you're getting what I earn in a month of minimal contract hours at work for doing nothing and you call that a 'meager living' you need to sit down and have a word with yourself friendo.

This guy right here has more of a reason to kill himself than you do. But (I assume) has bills to pay and is getting by just like EVERYONE ELSE.

I gave actual real advice from an autistic perspective and OP doesn't want to hear it.

I'm out.

I had an ADHD friends who also failed college, had never really kissed a girl or whatever. He was also addicted to weed. I fucking loved him and would do anything to get him back. Unfortunately he killed himself. People care about you OP.

You're too late to the party, we've given advice but he doesn't want it.

Dude I know I'm weak. I don't want to kill myself because the world is unfair, it's because I just don't like me in it. The world has been really fucking kind to me. I have a two-room apartment, I get to eat every day (except the last two, weed and alcohol dependency costs a shitton) and I have the money to visit family once a month.

I know EVERYONE ELSE has it tougher than me, and prevails in spite of it. I just want that push I need, wether from outside or inside, to free my shit up to whoever needs it.

It's not about hating the world, I deeply love the world. It'd just be better with one less weak failure.

No one is willing to help you if you're not willing to help yourself.

I think all that jerking off to porn has made you oblivious to real-world signals

Bro before contemplating suicide try working out for a year, trust me on this it will change your life

there are a few things in life i like to do.
i love my family and my friends and my dog, i love to cook and eat, i love to read a good book, i love to watch a good movie, i love to workout, i love to play good vidya, i love nature i love to look at all the beautifulness of life itself. everything seems so simple and yet it is complex. it amazes me from time to time again seeing everthing in harmony. i love life itself!

Google charcoal suicide

>Natural selection ought to happen

'Is' does not imply 'ought'

We naturally lust after women but that doesn't mean we should rape them

this post depressed the fuck out of my day
but seriously user. go see a doctor about a prescription and start a simple walk routine. 20 mins a day alone no more.
come back here a week after and tell us if you still feel this shitty

He earns more than i do but the thing is if you tell me you broke your leg and i tell you my girl left which problem is bigger to me? That my girl left me, i will symparhize and feel sorry for you, but everyones problem is the bigest problem in the world because its their own, its only how you cope with them, i was about to call him a bitch bit then i got this realisation. Sry for broken english im from eastern europe, hope you understood what i meant.

what a retarded proverb

It's never time, my friend. Inquire about rehab at the welfare office. Ask for help from them. Then, the rest might start to get better. Every drunk I've ever known has been miserable, and getting off the drink has always made them start to feel better. This can be where you begin, not where you end.
At least go to AA.

And also, hire a hooker on the internet if you're desperate to bone. They're not that expensive, maybe $150. So save a bit and you can satiate that need. It's no different than going to therapy. It really isn't.
And if you're worried about cops, well ask her to start out with some nude photography. Basically as long as you're taking pictures or something, fucking her for money is legal regardless. If the cops show up just tell umyou were making porn for free distribution.

Making them happen....like.....like just force yourself on them?uhhhhhhhh.....

Oh and op shut up i have it worse than you. Im 25 and never been kissed or even seen breasts in real life. The best i have in life is a shitty job where i do the work of 3 people and get paid crap.

The more you try the more you fail and more you realize you wasted your effort trying in the first place.

01/17/17

I am still a kissless virgin

As far as the job, dude go to any nursing home and put in a application for housekeeping

Not op but my passions cant make me a living. My paasions include.
Video games
Norse mythology
Killing people that deserve it
Making bootleg swords and spears
Tripping balls

How do i turn those passions into a life?

Are you telling him to be a janitor? Thats not much of a step up from doing nothing in life. And robots will very soon be able to clean and vacuu-oh shit the roomba its already started.

>Addicted to alcohol and weed
>Addicted
>Weed
Kill yourself.

just go to the gym man, get laid. then kill yourself

OP you need to display some fucking adaptability, if you can't do that just kill yourself

So at age 80 your on your deathbed and look back at your life. nothing. Just failure after disappointment. You look at all the effort, blood, sweat, and tears you shed that fill an ocean. And all yoy got from it. Nothing. You now realize after trying harder and harder and never giving up. You lived a life that compares to hell. A life of misery. A life of failure. A life you really tried everything in. And it was worthless. Your 80 about to die. You look back. Amd wish you killed yourself back when you were 20. 60 years of trting when you should have cashed in you chips long ago.

Dont gamble your chips away and start putting up your house and kids as bets. Know when to cut your losses so you dont go broke.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ux0uYHYfJ4A

sexy dance :)

How do you fight depression?
Some say activity, like going to the gym etc.

But what if the activity isn't fulfilling?

I go to the gym twice a week.
Other than that, I rarely leave my apartment.
Because what would be the point?

I put effort into doing stuff.
School, women.
Then the depression catches up, and I'm left as I currently am. A husk.

Women catch on quick, they can see I've no inner flame about me, and aptly leave for someone that has.

Feeling depressed takes away my motivation to study, as I sleep for 10-14h every day.

So, what's the point in trying?

austistic also. never even been kissed. no job. alchoholic. about 140kg 5'10. just find a reason no matter how small and work with it. improve yourself. i know its fuckn hard. i find solace that poeple are easily manipulated, just lose some weight and go at it again. youll figure it out. life is shot but its the best thing we can do. this is to anyone whos in the same boat

if you really don't even know whether to kill yourself or not, you probably have clinical depression, get professional help

Dont listen to these edgelords, whatever it is your thinking, stop it because once you make that choice there is no going back, you may believe that your life has no potential, but the power to change your life's circumstance is with in your own hands, its something we are ALL capable of. So please my friend, reconsider and give this crazy life your all, because at least by the end of it you can say proudly that you braved it all, despite all its hurdles. Love from a land across the ocean blue :)

>Autistic
nope, it's in your head
>Been dumped a year ago, cant get laid
I'll get to this in a bit, reason being it's partially caused by...
>Unemployed
get a job, it's easy
>Considered 90% unemployable, hence on benefits.
even quadraplegics can work in call centers, stop making excuses
>Addicted to alcohol and weed
quit one or both then
>209lbs at 5'11"
lose a bit of weight and your height is fine
>Balding
shave it instead of trying to look like Mr Garrison
>Student debt, unpaid medical insurance bills piling up
get a job

Just get a job, stop feeling sorry for yourself and be awesome. Pay off your shit gradually and get your life back on track. Everything will fix itself.

You're me except for the autism. We should team up and go all columbine on the world

are you my cousin?
we thinks hes gay