The last message you sent to a female is what's going on your gravestone. How will you be remembered?

The last message you sent to a female is what's going on your gravestone. How will you be remembered?

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>>Yeah alright haha

He must be a sick cunt

I'm sure it will be fine.

>Bring me a beer cunt

"I think I'll just need a gallon of coffee and I'll be good"

Do we need salad dressing?

Do you like to get fucked by him?

>I'm here!

>see you tomorrow
It works for me

Cool

"I don't really feel like it."

"Whatever I'm going g to have fun without you"

I just brok up with my gf I'm so sad

>>I'll remember that

No kids in wheel chairs tho they can't roll away fast enough

"goodnight"

I said, "definitely cute, angelic even." kinda makes me a douche

"just make a decision for Christ's sake"

I'm okay with this

> please respond

Meet me in your dreams

Well you sound like a bitch
Drown that shit in hard liquor like the rest of us

you make me so fucking hard

*Lion Emoji*

>You look very cute, but i'm gay and i have a boyfriend

>sexay

wow...

don't forget pizza rolls and energy drink :)

>Should I get the lasagna in the oven?

Literally
>Roaaaaarrrr

>Pick up your shit and get out of my house.

"Don't over do it."

>we'll talk about it thursday if you want to.

More or less

>Love you, Goodnight beautiful

See you very very soon

Man if she called and said "I'm pregnant", it would be the best thing to happen to me.

Drowning it in liquor might help though.

Thanks it sucks. Love you too.

> Good night, sleep well :)

Show me one with sharpie in pooper

It's okay, I was just worried

>you better flush it because im not paying child support. Dont make me gut punch you babe

Should probably start looking for a new secretary

Ich kann am besten so ab 7, oder willst du früher essen?

"that sucks, hon"
An apt memorial.

Literally a high school picture of jake gyllenhaal
>pic obviously related

...

i feel you brother i also broke up with my ex about 2 months ago it was, and still partly is, a very hard time. but i feel that ive already gained some distance to the situation and dont see her as the perfect girl i used to see her.
man u just need some time and youll be able to come out stronger.
grab a friend and get some vodka or some shit. if i would be from usa we could grab some alcohol and convince eachother how shit our exes where

>Falling back asleep
I'm alright i guess xx

Babe

Cover yourself in kitties

brb

" "

>Lol wow I just found out who does Lara Croft's voice in the game, you won't believe who it is

She didn't respond, my gravestone is now clickbait

"Me? What would I have to hide?"

Need to throw up brb

"Aha."

It was truly a pleasure. Perhaps we will meet again next year.

Hey :3 *snickers nefariously*

I found a good poem

"Noice"

The shit is lethal lol it's not the first time it's happened, it just mists the air and you get hit lol

(hearteyes) xxx

if skype counts lmao

if not then

Leave it for now

"I'M NOT ACTUALLY THAT WEIRD"

Okies

Keeley Hawes right?

No, the newest reboot is Camilla Luddington, who's hot btw

>You won't know till you get there, I enjoy Robins, despite all the dumb exercises my Squadron has the base itself is pretty nice
At least they'll know where I died

"finally im home"

Yes, I'll see you Thursday night.

Every scar built my throne.

I miss you

well fuck, it's a dick pic

>OK OK OK OK
>fuck I'll do it
>OK OK OK OK
>stop fucking nagging
>OK OK OK OK

gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

"Let's go one of these days, to swim with dolphins."

"hm"

You seen me naked get over it.

>merry Christmas

FeelsBadMan

Here lies our beloved BaguetteFag

"le 27 c'est la semaine prochaine ^^"

RIP
(literally)

My plane arrives at 7pm on the 21st. Assuming I survive being at Marcos

A big saw takes care of that

"Just for shits n gigs"

You might want to go get checked out at the clinic

"I don't care one way or the other. We just have to make sure that we freeze what we have in time."

Check em

Oh no,.. I sent my gf this meme

>Still working on it

>AYY BB U WANT SUM FUK
I wish I was joking

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm fine with it.

I'm beating off to your blood.

"Yeah"

You are a whore, and You are mine

I wanna be more than just a friend

youtube.com/watch?v=mA__6BcxyAg

Fuck her or go for another. Waste no time, idiot.

Babe i ate 4 chilli dogs last night why didnt you stop me

"Eat grapes then"

>can I kill myself?

Yes,I'll take the boy to the doctor Friday.
God,stop being such a cunt

>So wear skirts for me ;)

... K

''yes i'm okay''