Without laughing

Without laughing.

I think I can fuck up a gorilla with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could.
Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.
I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the gorilla is finished. You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.
Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

youre legitimately retarded

Anyone with MMA training knows that to throw a punch there's a good chance you'll have to trade blows. The gorilla can take your punches for days where as if he lands literally one on you you're finished. Good b8 m8, 1/8

no, i think user is right, fuck man you can do it, it's a bitch ass gorilla with a 1 inch dick you can fuck it up, get a friend to record you doin it an you'll become a WORLDSTAR

Well jump into a gorilla pit and see how many you can KO before the staff has to protect you by killing all their gorillas

le pavé du mma c'est un troll ne l'ecoutez pas

it's a famous troll post in france don't feed him

Stop. Just stop.

Well, that's only to be considered if the gorilla could come close to touching me.

If you get lucky enough to put it in an RNC before it rips your dick off maybe

Let's go down one step. A Chimpanzee or an Orangutan which are much smaller than a gorilla could literally tear you limb from limb with very little effort. A Gorilla could turn you into a pile of meat totally unrecognizable as human. They're both faster and stronger than you.

...

Ok first and foremost, this post is absolute bullshit and OP is probably a retarded 11 year old who knows jack shit about fighting.

As someone with a MMA and boxing background, it always pisses me off to see sperglords on the internet hide behind a computer screen and think they know how to fight. You don't know how to fight. You're all a bunch of faggots on hide on Sup Forums because you aren't compatible with the real world.

Also, as somebody who has actually fought a gorilla, I guarantee, even if you had training, it would still kill you in under a minute. Trust me. I know. When I fought a gorilla, it ripped me in two and crushed my head like a watermelon - killing me instantly. Gorillas aren't to be messed with.

post a picture off your alpha body time stamp and everything

A ten pound monkey could clean anyone's clock.

Yeah good luck Saxton Hale

i like the post because i got a genuine suck of extra air through my nose.


But its low quality bait, the gorilla would rip your arm off and beat you with it.

this,

I worked in a zoo. We dont care. Just hop over the fence and try your luck. About time these fuckers get a good beating.

OP, deliver for us please. I've gotta see this whether you really can or not.

Back in middle school, I earned my yellow belt in judo and I reckon I could beat up OP and a gorilla at the same time.

I second this. I believe you can do it. Hell, I'll fly to where you are to film it. Let's get the ball rolling.

>Without laughing, could you do the same if we gave the Gorilla a clown nose?

Rolling for cage match.

Back in middle school I used to beat this guy up with his yellow belt. I reckon I could beat up him, OP, and the gorilla at the same time. Pic related, it's me.

WTF is wrong with France?

The gorilla will grab you and crush everything inside his hand.

You will not evade him.

He won't even hit you. He will sit down, grasping your ruined limb still while barely noticing your strikes. If you were to make the mistake of actually causing him pain, he will remind you that he still holds you.

Wild male gorillas weigh 135 to 180 kg (300 to 400 lb) while adult females usually weigh half as much as adult males at 70–115 kg (150–250 lb). Adult males are 1.7 to 1.8 m (5 ft 7 in to 5 ft 11 in) tall, with an arm span that stretches from 2.3 to 2.6 m (7 ft 7 in to 8 ft 6 in).

Nothing you can ever do will prepare you for the crushing strength of a gorilla you fucking retard. Once it goes into autistic ape mode (which they're known for doing easily) you're going to get murdered.

Gorillas are simply better than you physically

From the Guinness book of records 1975
In 1924 "Boma" a 165Lbs male chimp at the Bronx zoo, New York, recorded a right handed pull (feet braced) of 847 Lbs on a dynamometer.(the comparison given is 210Lbs for a man of the same weight). On another occasion, "Suzette" registered a pull of 1260 Lbs while in a rage (same zoo).

A record form the USA of a 100Lbs chimp achieving a dead lift of 600 Lbs with ease sugests that, with training, a Male gorilla could raise 1800 Lbs.
Nah, you gonna die.

is your name hunter?

That there is some scary shit