What's the most surprised youve ever been in a sexual situation?

what's the most surprised youve ever been in a sexual situation?

or a situation that got sexual out of nowhere?

Other urls found in this thread:

reddit.com/r/xessex/comments/5nytfg/stepsibling_slumber_party_jmac_marsha_may_nicole/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>or a situation that got sexual out of nowhere?
I'm pretty sure my friend's retarded older brother raped his friend's 5 year old sister in his closet.

I was like 13, and Halo had just come out. I had only played an NES/SNES up until then, and this Xbox shit was blowing my mind. I was definitely surprised, but the game was more important then.

...

reddit.com/r/xessex/comments/5nytfg/stepsibling_slumber_party_jmac_marsha_may_nicole/

>Be me
>First weekend in college at my dorm.
>break up with high school girlfriend to make sure I have nothing holding me back
>Get invited to big sorority party because my oldest sister is dating one of the dudes.
>FeelsGoodMan
>Spent all summer getting in shape so I can fuck as much as possible
>party is super fun more drunk then I have ever gotten
>meet super cute girl with short red hair (my fetish)
>dance then go make out
>she tells me to meet her in a room
>start freaking out because I'm sweating and I don't want to gross her out.
>wash my balls in the bathroom sink
>I'm ready
>meet her in a room we go at it like monkeys
>she makes a bet that if she can deepthroat my whole dick then I'd have to do whatever she wanted.
>sure i win either way
>she takes my dick like a champ and sucks me off till I cum
>it's alright I'll be ready to go again in 10.
>She stands up and pushed my head into her snatch
>i unbutton her shorts and a little fem dicks falls out.
>too much alcohol and the shock of it makes me puke on the floor.
>I run all the way home puking all over the street
>my friends all call me a fag

First year of college ruined

I went to put my hand down the front of this girls pants. She said not now I'm on bleedy times, so I said "there is another way" she said "im not afraid of anal" so I said "assume the position" it went way too well. We were just chillin watching tv then suddenly buttsex. Was so surprised and happy

I was at a club with drinking and met 2 girls I went to school with. One them I was quite good friends with but the other one was really shy and we'd barely spoken during our 3 years in school together. Me and the first girl are sitting there talking and drinking. The shy girl leans forward and whisper in my ear "I want to suck your cock!". I wasn't sure I heard right but when I followed her out for a smoke she dragged me into an alley and jumped me. We ended up being fuck buddies for 2 years but we almost never spoke.

I was having a threesome and one of the girls had recently come off the pill. One of her side effetcs was lactating, so I went a-sucking and to my fucking surprise warm ass titty milk came out. So hot

>went to another town with my girl to visit her friend
>partying in hotel room friend passes out
>gf looks at me and says "you should fuck her"
>tell her "help me out and I will"
>Gf helps strip friend naked
>sucks my dick hard
>guides it into her friends cunt
>then sits on the bed bating telling me to fuck her passed out friend harder
>fat titties bouncin
>friend wakes up and has to puke
>gf holds her hair back
>friend passes out again
>gf tells me to fuck her again until I'm done
>watches and bates until she cums again
>I pull out of friends pussy
>gf swallows my cock and then my cum
>mfw my gf helped me rape her best friend

I started talking to this 10/10 girl that was a really good girl and a virgin and was pretty sheltered, in her first year of college. I was about 4 years older than her in my last year and I was the complete opposite, pretty much banging any girl I could. One day we're screwing around and she is like "hey user, just put it in once, I want to see what it feels like." Of course I did so, and she says "okay... (she pauses, then says) I don't know if I'm ready yet, but you can fuck my ass if you want". It was as if God himself spoke to me that night. After several anal sessions she lost her virginity to me. That.... that my friends, was pretty cool.

Oh wow

>killed man
>got rid of his clothes and took away teeth
>cut arms legs and head
>dig a six feet deep whole for every part
>about to bury last piece in the woods, its the torax, booty still almost intact
>my boner says I should first bury my wood in him
>no maggots yet but already cold, use my spit to lubricate
>fuck it hard, nut inside
>ohfuckmydna.png
>have to clean it inside out with bleach before burying him
>doesnt matter had sex

edgy

>14-year old daughter has sleepover
>three other 14-year olds
>one is named Alice. a little chubby, always very polite and helpful
>wife and I are sleeping in bed around 2:00
>left door open in case kids start messing around
>gradually wake up to someone stroking my cock
>not unusual for my wife to do this. sometimes she'll just hold it, sometimes she'll stroke it because she wants to fuck
>lay there enjoying it but sense something is wrong
>wife is on the other side of the bed
>look over and realize Alice is kneeling next to the bed jerking me off
>once she sees me she takes off back to my daughter's bedroom

to this day I still wonder if I was dreaming or it was real. I was hard when I got out of bed after she left so I thought it was real. I told my wife and we decided on no more sleepovers for Alice just in case.

Had a group project back in college and ended up with a team of lazy morons with the exception of one cute, quiet girl. She and I agreed we'd have to do all the work and agreed to meet at my place to get it done over one weekend.

She showed up in this long, skin-tight dress and sandals. I didn't think anything of it other than the fact that she had a nice figure.

We worked on the project for a few hours, then decided to take a break. We watched some TV on the couch and she eventually leaned into me and put my arm around her.

After a while, I kissed the top of her head, she kissed my hand, then we looked at each other for a moment before just completely going after each other.

She was lying under me on the couch and I pulled her dress down to kiss her breasts. No bra. Then she pulled the dress of over her head. No panties.

She planned this.

Ended up spending Saturday night and all of Sunday in bed with her, and we dated for a few months. I still have no idea why she was into me. She was a solid 8/10 (would say 10/10, but fag anons would call me out) and waaaay out of my ugly-ass league. Best sex I ever had, too. I only get pity fucks from fat bitches every few years now.

Only kinda sexual but here we go.

>Kinda young like 16
>Been seeing this girl for a year and a half
>We fuck regularly
>Was a relationship of oppurtunity
>We had no real connection
>Just physical attraction (Which wore out fast after she got super fat a year into it)
>Just about to have sex
>Both on the bed naked
>Im taking my pants off shes on the bed laying face down
>Had the fattest ass around
>Turn around to take a look
>She unleashes this monster from her bowels
>This fart that would blow a richter scale
>It immediately fills my nose and mouth with this stench like I was eating actual shit
>Not even just a normal shit like a sick in the stomach kinda shit
>Immediately vomit
>She starts screaming at me in obvious embarassment saying I'm overreacting
>Vomiting is an 'overreaction' yesure.jpg
>She ends up leaving while I sit there naked still retching

It was around this point I dropped her, at the time I knew we werent good for eachother but thinking back I wonder whether this was the turning point. She disgusted me to no end after this.

>Doing a girl doggy style, her on all fours in the bed, me stood off it with one leg propped up on the bed. Enjoying it but then suddenly leg starts to tighten up, realise it might be cramp, try to change position but she's having none of it, struggle on but it's getting bad.
>She starts moaning really loudly and pushing harder, I try to reciprocate, but leg has other ideas and I fall over and bang my head on the edge of the bed. Dick goes floppy due to pain and her laughing at me.

Couldn't get it back up either.

When I found out my girl likes loli. I dont like loli but it seems to be popular on Sup Forums.

Sauce?

What happened?

My girlfriend decided to give me a surprise prostate massage right before I started having an orgasm while she was giving me a blowjob. Apparently, there was an article about how to do it in Cosmo magazine.

She started sticking her tongue out of her mouth over and over again while I was cumming she and didn't stop until I had a second orgasm about 2 minutes later. Literally fell out of the bed and hit my head on the dresser.

>assume the position
my sides
what's your orgasm line?
>initiate blast sequence?

>be faggot
>arrange to meet another faggot to exchange BJ's
>other faggot is a large dude. 300#, 6' tall
>agree to do this in the back of his SUV
>in parking garage. even though it's an SUV. other faggot needs to cram himself into the back seat
>start blowing him
>going good
>just as he's about to cum he starts yelling
>CRAMP! CRAMP! and bucks me off his cock
>blows his load all over the inside of his Escalade
>I go home blue balled

Fags like you are alright since you put this fact in your first line so I don't have to read about your gay activities.

so edgy

...

Holy shit that's hysterical. Sucks for you but still funny. Sorry not sorry

only thing gay you did was run away from that fine trap booty.

ah, i remember the first time i fucked a girls butt it brings me back

OP watches incest porn

No, it wasn't you dumb jew

im just so bored with girls without dicks tbh

No it's a true love story.

It's the best made.

Not much of a story. I caught her looking at a loli thread one day and noticed she was wet. I asked her about it, told her loli wasnt my thing but its cool if shes into it. My girl has a thing for "innies" and thats why shes into loli because she likes the way their lil pussies look. Shes so into loli now that shes actively looking for a petite 18 y/o girl to set up a threesome with

hmm interesting, so Sup Forums brainwashing works on women too. I wonder how many women now like traps and hate jews

Love it

The most out of nowhere situation I've ever been in didn't lead to me having sex but it took me and a few friends back a bit.
We where talking about something (I can't remember what) but out of nowhere one of my female friends says "oh yeah I got caught doing Anal on a field". Not as extreme as some of the other things on here but still a decent story.

>be me
>at home on Halloween cuz no friends or party too go to
>put up a post on a dating app i was having no luck with for years.
>"Halloween alone.... nothing to do."
>get a message from a grill
>we talk for a few days
>decide to meet at local mall
>talk for a few hours
>go eat at local bww
>date concludes
>she sees me walking
>don't you have a car user?
>nah......
>omg you walked here?! do you want a ride!?
>she takes me to my house a few miles away
>she wants to see my house
>take her to my room which was a mess (i didn't think even this would happen)
>clear a spot for her to sit on my bed
>we talk about personal shit for a while
>she lays down and i lay down next to her
>i just have my arm around her and we're talking
>we just talk for a while and it turns into cuddling
>turns into making out
>smack her ass a few times and kiss her neck
>she takes her shirt off and i suck her nipples
>reach down her pants to play with her clit
>she starts taking her pants off
>i take mine off and we fuck
>i blow my load all over her about 10 mins later
>we're laying there cuddling
>mom comes home bitching about the car in the driveway
>c-can i have a washcloth to get all of this off me?
>mom still screaming and bitching downstairs
>girl gets dressed and leaves
>never speak to her again
>mom ruined another of my potential relationships...

Could be fun.

Pick up chick in bar
Ask if she wants come home with me
She goes gets her friend
In taxi with the 2 girls
Get home and girl from the club falls asleep
Making small talk with the friend
Think night is a disaster
The friend goes to check on girl asleep
I hear kissing
Go to investigate
Ends in the best threesome ive ever had.

Hmm I know I have some stories that would probably be good, but I have been drunk for literally every one night stand I have had, so I can't remember how sex was initiated. I guess I have stories with girlfriends, but who cares about stories with gfs. They are boring.

>be me, 24
>broke up with my ex 2 months earlier
>go to Poland with 2 friends, go to a random party
>already drunk
>turns out it's some masquerade ball or something
>inside, immediately spot this hot chick with a black feathery mask
>we stare at each other, she's clearly drunk
>instantly kiss and she drags me away
>"I live very nearby user, we can walk"
>it's not nearby, have to get a cab
>"I'll pay user"
>I end up paying because she's too drunk, although it's peanuts
>enter the most shady-ass looking apartment block
>we stand in front of a big steel door. I decide that from this point on, if anything out of the ordinary happens when that door opens, I'll bolt
>it's really just her apartment, says she lives there with 2 roommates
>go to her room, which smells weird, like a dog or something
>end up in bed, too drunk to do anything
>wake up at night, feel something weird brush past my legs and abdomen. Go to sleep.
>wake up in the morning, still hazy from alcohol.
>Fuck her brains out, she screams like she's being slaughtered
>says she want to see me cum
>pull out
>just as I'm about to cum, 2 chinchillas pop up from underneath the blankets and jump on me
>Blow load over 1 chinchilla on accident
>She goes bananas
>aaaaandimdone.gif
>grab my shit and leave.
>realise I haven't seen her face, she was still wearing her mask in the morning

>girls without dicks
how can someone have a dick and stay a girl at the same time?

>Be me 16 at the time
>Canadian family is here to visit
>One night i'm sitting on computer playing MMO's & on skype call
>Hot 10/10 Blonde/brunette Canadian cousin walks in
>"What you doing bud?"
>Respond nothing much just talking to my friends
>"Can they hear me?"
>I respond with "No" and ask what I can do for her
>"Good I wouldn't want them to hear me" as she smiled
>"You've changed so much since i've last seen you user"
>Obviously she used this as a conversation kick starter
>Awkward conversation continues for a while before I tell her I should get back to my friends
>"But user I enjoy chatting to you, show me how to play this game"
>She sits on my lap
>Oh shit, my dick is diamonds, I hope she doesn't feel if
>She starts repositioning herself and grinding almost as if she knows
>"There's nothing much to the game, I was ready to go off it anyway"
>Mom shouts us for family dinner
>Shes staring at me from across the table throughout the duration of family dinner
>I start feeling anxious and go to my room, turn skype off and turn the light off
>"Buddy, are you awake?"
>Pretend i'm asleep
>Suddenly feel something creep up my bed sheets
>Its my cousin
>I shoot up with a WTF expression
>"It's okay user, I know we both want this
>She takes off my boxers and starts sucking me off
>Couldn't resist the urge to fuck
>Long story short we fucked and I came inside her

Not seen her since and i'm 21 now

>be me 14
>go to school, two fly hunnies 9.5/10 look at me
>user, we want to suck your dick
>btw these girls are 18
>lose viringinty, do anal
>shit was so cash

whats your excuse anons?

I once had a girl into some bondage S&M shit.
I was reasonably drunk at the time and horny so I thought 'fuck it' and let her strap me to her bed
Was all going well, she was riding me and slapping me about. Telling me if I came too early I'd be punished.
I was close but I didn't think she was serious, told her I needed to cum...
"If you cum now then you'll be punished"...
Told her I couldn't stop...She deliberately rode me harder and forced me to cum inside of her.
>feelsgoodman
She gets off "so you like that do you?...lets see how much you like it.
She opens her drawer and the bitch has a bottle of viagra a cock ring and some sort of liquid in a jar.
She mixes the liquid up, puts the pill in my mouth with it and gags me till I swallow it all.
Like 10 mins later I'm rock hard against my will.
She jumps back on and rapes my dick while coating her pussy with lube.
Long story short, I counted that I came 13 times inside her, used up a whole bottle of lube.
My cock was so sore and bruised I needed to see a doctor.
I told a family member in confidence that it was essentially rape but they just thought I was into some weird fetish shit... women are bitches man.

Ex caught me jerking off, embarrassed she turned around and went to walk away but stopped when I kept going. She turned right back around pulled down her pants and started fingering herself in front of me. A moment later I was smashing her tight little fart box.

sick sick wicked

great story, kek'd because i'm canadian and cant tell if she actually calls you "buddy" or if your using that to not say your name since we say it so much here

thats a fucking dank story eh buddy?

She called me buddy, legit story

holy shit, what do you think that liquid was?

I was sleeping with my gf and she woke me up randomly through out the night with sex

thats awesome haha, i loved the story and im laughing to myself now as well thanks

It tasted gross from what I remember, maybe it made my sperm recovery faster, not sure but my cum game has never been that good since

Virgin detected

yeah
have you ever thought about getting back in touch with her?

Hit her up, dawg

Holy kek this is gold

She was sucking my dick
>Can I bite? just a bit?
>NO
>She bites
>I like

Parking with a date when I was 16. A lot of heavy petting. Then the girl 15 pulls her panties off and let's me fuck her. My first time. Blew my mind away.

love me some good fiction

...

Them canadians sure are unpredictable, ay?

>
>>assume the position
>my sides
>what's your orgasm line?
>>initiate blast sequence?

Holy

This was a weird one
>be me 17
>have gf who is 16
>we are always fighting
>one day we decide not to go to school
>parents go to work in morning, so she comes over
>laying in my bed
>for some reason, I was being an asshole
>we start arguing
>I call her a dumb bitch
>she starts screaming at me to not call her dumb
>breaks down and starts sobbing
>I get up to go to bathroom
>when I come back she is still crying
>she gets up, gets on her knees
>unzips my pants and starts sucking
>she is crying asking "is this what you want"
>turns me on
>start facefucking her and blow load on her face
>she would always let me cum anywhere except on her face
>after like 30 seconds minutes, she says "I need you to cum on my face" tears still streaming down
>I cum on her face
>she looks up at me
>felt like something from a facial abuse scene
>she goes to the bathroom and cries more
>comes out like 30 minutes later and is all lovey dovey with me
That was pretty cool

Lies. That's not how Viagra works. There is no magic cream you fag.

Late ant night, getting to bed at my now ex-gf's home, we are spooning, she starts grinding against my dick, it gets hard, she silently laughs, I start rubbing her, she wet as fuck, I am trying to direct my penis to her vagina with my hand, she takes over, starts rubbing it against her butthole, I am surprised as fuck, I am not sure if she for real, cause we were drinking after dinner, she lets it go, I try again, point it to her vagina, she then spits on her fingers, rubs my dick with it ant again, starts rubbing it against her butthole, I ask her 'are you sure?' she mumbles 'Mmhh', I then slowly slide it in, Fells awesome. She rubs her clit while I am gently doing her in the ass... both came in like 2 minutes.
And that was my first anal. She surprised me there. Will remember this girl till the day I die.

...

Rape stories don't do it for me.

I didn't cum twice. Sorry, posting on mobile

hahaha gold

yo ho ho and bottle of cum

...

Ty for the laugh user

...

To be honest, at that point I'd have just said "meh fuck it" and gone ahead and pounded the shit out of her/him/it.

My mother did something similar.

> been living on my own for 5 years
> mother needs help paying for her mortgage
> agree to move back and renovate for reduced rent
> should help her get better loan and I'll move out again
> couple weeks after being there
> bring girl to basement suite
> 7.5/10 brunette, 22yo, slim.
> about 30sec after bury dick in her
> mother yells through suit door
> "user.. I made dinner."
> I pause and reply that I'm occupied and not hungry
> she keeps talking..
> I tell her I am occupied and don't have time to come up
> starts telling me about her day through door
> "mom.. i have a guest. I'll come up when I'm done."
> she keeps talking and offers guest dinner
> girl is laughing quietly.. My dick is now soft
> my mother is oblivious and doesn't get being told to go away or hints.
> later explain that it was a lady friend I had over
> ask her to treat the suite like any other place I live
> DON'T just show up knocking. Message or call first. If I don't answer.. Assume I'm busy.
> over a month she does this three more times
> at least once completely cockblocked me
> meanwhile mother has old long term bf move in and doesn't need reno help anymore

I bailed after 3 months. No reduced rent is worth living at home again, and hearing a mothers voice while trying to hook up.

This user speaks accurately. I once lost a perfectly good opportunity for sex because my viagra took too long to kick in (over an hour waiting)
I use Cialis now and shit is legit cash. Boner time all the time.

Your mum probably fingered herself that night while smiling knowing that she'd fucked your life up a bit more.

started dating my now wife and she was at my house giving me a amazing blowjob. About to blow as i start cumming i let the nastiest wet monster fart rip it was so much wind her hair blew back lmfao we now joke about it but she also told me she almost broke up with me for it.

My mom has always told me that I can invite anyone to our house and just chill, but 1) as I grew up it became kind of awkward for me and 2) as I grew up I kept losing "friends."

I moved away in Sept and got back home for Christmas in Dec for a month. Never had any problems with parents, and I love my bedroom, but hearing mom telling me what to eat, etc. is just annoying as fuck.

>be me 19ish dating college ex
>She always takes forever to cum
>Always have to go down on her then finger she while we fuck
>Done almost everything under the sun except titty fuckin and anal
>Ask one day out of curiosity since she was pretty open sexually
>Wanna try anal some time?
>She responds with "sure I haven't ever done that"
>Kinda shocked since she has had quite the sexual history
>Plan to try it next time we fuck
>Get some lotion for lube and start to get down to business
>She says go slow
>7"x5" dong penetrating her virgin butthole took some time
>Finally get it in and she starts fingering herself while I start the motions
>Feels pretty good
>Only about 3 good humps in
>Holy shit I'm gonna cum user
>I stop, "are you serious?"
>She goes "yeah holy shit this feels so good fuck me hard I'm gonna cum"
>Start royally railing her butthole
>Going balls deep because the butthole never ends
>She cums so hard it was crazy
>I keep railing because fuck it I just got started
>Finish inside her because I'm not about to pass up the opportunity to cum inside someone safely who isn't on the pill
>Always have to pull out and cum on her tits because we hate condoms
>Roll off her and we just lay there for a bit about how awesome that was
This started all kinds of ass play with her. Found out if I shove a thumb up her butt when we fuck she cums way faster
Started doing anal regularly. She hated the fart bubbles afterwards and asked me not to cum inside anymore but I always did.

why breck up over a fart?

Great story. I had a nice laugh

god i wish that were me

>assume the position

Holy shit user kek

is anyone else confused by "pushed my head into her snatch" did the pussy suddenly disappear?

Yeah I'm confused too
Unless the dude shit himself or applied lube before sliding it in that butthole would have been dry as hell and nothing would have slid anywhere.

What a good day that must have been. I would love that to happen

>be drunk with buddy
>we get another bottle of vodka and drive to two girls who we hadnt seen in a long time
>girls get drunk as well
>buddy already in bed with the other girl
>i'm alone in the living room with the other one
>she asks: "wanna watch harry potter and the philosopher's stone?"
>fuck yeah i wanna watch that shit
>cuddling with girl on her couch
>"TROOOLLL, TROOOLLL IN THE DUNGEON!"
>decide now might be a good time to start kissing her
>she pushes me away, says she doesnt want to because it might ruin our friendship
>fuck that, we'll become even better friends
>kiss her again
>she slaps me really fucking hard
>look at her with a surprised look on my face
>ANGEREY.JPG
>"I dare you to do that one more fucking time"
>slaps me again
>slap her with the power of a thousand suns
>she's shocked
>she suddenly kisses me
>mfw
>she kicks buddy and other girl out of the bedroom
>we go there and end up fucking
>she wanted me to put it in her ass
>k no problem
>one of the best nights i ever had

Can't hear the theme song of harry potter without getting a hard on nowadays

At a house party, went to take a shit. I guess I was so drunk I forgot to lock the door. Girl who is friends with my GF comes in and says she has to pee. I'm like wtf I'm shitting get out. She walks over and grabs my dick from between my legs and kneels down and starts sucking it. Shit is still in the toilet and all over my ass cheeks. I came in like 3 seconds, wiped front and back and flushed then left so she could pee.

Never talked about it again, she was never awkward or anything. GF eventually broke up with me because I was playing too much WoW. The end.

Was 21, she was 28. Met her through a friend in the bar, started flirting when we were having tequila and I opened up with saying "tequila is like Viagra to women" to which she agreed with a wink. Ended up making out, sitting by the river and have some cheeky touching going until she stopped and said that she's on her period. I smirked and jokingly said "a true knights blade is always covered in blood". Ended up fucking 3x that night.

> I smirked and jokingly said "a true knights blade is always covered in blood"
Well?! Did she or did she not assume the position?

She clapped and said that I deserve it after that line, so yeah, she assumed her position next to the river and then at her place.

kek'd

The next day the friend said she had a weird dream and asked if we fucked in the bed while she was sleeping in it. I don't think she ever found out what we did.

>be summer of 2015
>go to with hot friend to bar so she can sing karaoke
>get drunk
>friend is drunk also and kisses me
>we leave
>making out in my car
>she suggests we go to her office which is right down the road
>she's a massage therapist
>we get there and take the table from the other room into her room
>nice little bed now with lots of blankets for cushion
>she get freaky and ties my arms and legs down then blindfolds me
>she leaves for 2 minutes and comes back
>she whips me with something
>talking some dominant talk
>starts sucking my cock
>she's really going at it when I feel another mouth on my nipple
>new mouth sucks and bites my nipples
>after a while the blindfold comes off
>other mouth is her cute friend from bar
>end up having the craziest sex I've ever experienced until the sun comes up

I'll try to find a pic