Stupidest thing you've ever done sexually?

Stupidest thing you've ever done sexually?

Let my gf talk me into cuckold

Kys

Stuck my tongue up her nose.

Having a threesome with my wife and another guy (pic related) and being the go between.

My ex-girlfriend sucked her male best friend off while I watched. It was weird, it kinda turned me on, but at the same time? I felt disgusted.

I will not unfriend you at this point

seems hot, I'd be under him in a heartbeat

Used Omegle.

Hesitantly went to a gay party, with a gay friend. ( I'm straight ) ended up so trashed they convinced me to jerk off for them. Was about 10-15 guys that watched. FmL

Creampied a one night stand. Haven't talked to her since

How did she look while doing it? She enjoy it? I have this fantasy

Cuckhold is a mental illness fyi

sounds hot. did you cum?

he's actually gay even if he didn't

Yeah I did cum. I honestly still regret it to this day

went to this sex party with a load of older guys when I was young and dumb. they convinced to get in this kind of stockade thing, and said they would pay $200 to do it.

so i was bent over in this stockade, and you can imagine what happened. a dozen or more guys over the course of the night fucked me and facefucked me. I could barely walk at the end of the night, and had to go to the hospital a couple days later

i fucked you mom.

I'm straight, alcohol makes me crazy. I don't drink anymore

why? what's the big deal

he fucked her then pulled out and cum down my throat

>i fucked you mom.
No. That qualifies for the stupidest thing you've said.

Sucked a dog many times as a kid... Dunno why, probably cuz older brother raped me...

Molested 18 year old niece while she was drunk, she came twice.

and why did they ask you for it?
did they never saw a dick splurting?

and how come you got a boner and busted a nut in front of a bunch of gay guys? what kind of trick did you use?

and what did they comment about it after watching your show?

>I'm not gay, I'm totally straight and simply stunned at such an impossible mission - fapping for show to a whole lot of gay fags

Not sure honestly, I feel like I was slightly conned into it and I know for a fact someone videod it

hospital made you pay $210.

eww, then you fucked a trans nigger, wtf

this is not a hentai porn abstracts thread.

and that was the first time you heard about "webm" and "Sup Forums"

Guess they wanted to see.If I'd.do it. Most us went skinny dipping in a pool. I got an erection and.before.I knew it they were all.egging me on to.jerk off

>Sucked a dog many times as a kid... Dunno why, probably cuz older brother raped me...
>Molested 18 year old niece while she was drunk, she came twice.
Ok, I'm going to need some greentext. On the rape or the leadup to sucking a dog

Pic related to either?
Not my most virtuous Question asked

While wife was away, called girlfriend's daughter by her sister's name.

I've never seen the video, but apparently it's out there, hence.why I regret it.to this day

i jerked off to my friends underwear, hes a guy.. was at his house and he was asleep, came on it and the next day he said he was awake the entire time and smiled and laughed.. so not entirely sure what that means

same, i think she gave me hpv

Damn dude.

Attempted anal with gf. Was not successful. Somehow ended up in 69. Discovered shit on my neck afterward.

fr. John, your parishioners would be quite ashamed of you

Used a huge green lung oyster as lube when i had a horrible chest infection

gf wasn't pleased

best of this thread, plus nice dubs

32 and dunno how to greentext and too lazy to look it up and honestly composing a story of the raped plus the dog sucking and then the little girls I did lots with as a little boy and then my teenage transgressions.... I'd be typing until this thread dies probably...

But it's legit, I had lots of adventures due to having non-dysfunctional anorgasmia....
Essentially, I am the immortal cock.

and the ugly people losers smell like shit and i have to pretend to like the ugly people losers that think i like the ugly people losers that smell like shit and the ugly people losers smell like poop and outnumber everybody and the ugly people losers that smell like shit can read people before they write it cause the ugly people losers that smell like poop is pathatic

scraped all the cheesy chunks of my mothers massive vibrator then crushed it up when it was dry and snorted it

Be in an open relationship. She fucked a black guy and tried saying it was mine.

the stupidest thing was letting the chubby girl go who let me watch on Skype while she sucked and fucked her dogs. If i had known what a holy grail that was i never would have let her walk. would have showered her with attention. I've seen plenty of girls do the 'ol peanut butter trick but never again did i have a girl who was that thirsty for the pink cock. all i had to do was mention it and she was on it. *sigh*

>skinny dipping with men
>I got an erection

masturbated with a dildo up my ass and recorded it out of curiosity.
forgot about it and borrowed the SD card to a friend.
he gave it back looking strange at me. we never talked about it.

Had unprotected sex with my ex girlfriend, every time. Then whenever things didn't go as she planned she went "I'm not feeling alright", "My stomach hurts"
Even yesterday she called me her period's late.
WE BROKE UP OVER A FUCKING MONTH AGO FUCKFACE STOP CALLING

hpv ain't shit. almost everyone has it

Don't be so suburban

gave a bat an oral creampie

>almost everyone has it

nope.

Let the fat girl from work suck my dick. She went back to work and told people we had sex. FML.

wandered into a rub & tug one day. $80 later i staggered out after having an incredible massage, a dozen minutes of balls-to-my-belly cock sucking and a handy finish, all by a smiling chink who weighed about 80 lbs and smiled the whole time and thanked me for the opportunity.

Little did i know, the many thousands and dozens of chink massages i would have later would never again be that good.

yes
most people have it but only some see symptomes

I turned down a threesome with my gf and my ex.

>M 21 Australia
>Went to nudist beach
>Straight after a horrible breakup, sure this will make me feel better
>Not wearing glasses, I'm short sighted. This is important later
>Dusk rolls around. EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING WHERE THEY WERE
>Walked past a tent with a couple
>She gestures me in, she looks alright about 30
>I come within 2m
>Try +20 years
Fucking hell, can't back out now.
>Her tongue straight down my throat
>Cigarette taste
>Husband jerking it while I touch up his wife. I stripped off her clothes and whipped it out.
>Fucking hell. Wrap it and slam it in.
>Eye contact with husband as I half heartedly fuck his wife doggy.
>Look down as I climax
Bit of polite conversation and I got the fuck out of that crazy place

you're both right. Most people carry a herpes virus, but for most people its zoster, not simplex. The difference? zoster is chicken pox and shingles and simplex is topical cold sores.

chasing the happy ending dragon

Came inside ex I knew was not on birth control
Nothing came of it

The whole swinging thing sounds fun in theory, but your experience seems to be the reality. Pity.

fucked a what???, i assume you meant nigger!?

True shit

/thread

this nerdy girl in my drama program basically tried to rape me and i kept pushing her off. Whoops.

>be me
>new kid in town
>on a win streak with teh ladies
>fugly wing first sergeant learns of my escapades
>she wants some action too
>nope. nope. nope.
>get too drunk at a military function.
>getting my dick sucked in teh mess dress.
>oh well, decide to fuck her
>gross mom tits, flabby ass
>regerts. so just kill me nao.
>she and the wing commander make squadron visits
>she doesn't have the trim tabs on the uniform buttoned
>tell her in a room in a room full of men
>her flaps are open
>pissed as fuck at me
>get promoted and transfer a couple of months later

many keks were had at her expense

thanks based med user

hi

I pulled the same thing. I also fucked the shit out of one for a week. She started telling people we were dating. I denied it and they believed me. She was crushed.

i was in mental ward when i was ten. lost my virginity to an 18yr old downie named Shelley. Will never forget the sour smell of that huge downie pussy as long as i live...

Blech

A winner is you

met a nice couple, sexy fit young girl with husband who was an old rich man, did it a few times sometimes just me and her sometimes a few guys. Last time I get stuck in bad traffic so i'm late.

Never normally have performance issues but when i walk in this time everyone else is old and grey except me and the wife, we are both young 20's. Struggling to get hard I grab her head hard on my cock and make her slop all over my cock, eventually get hard but the other guys leave. I am kind of shocked at this point as i've just stuck my dick in the girls mouth and finally got hard, end up realising the girl is super drunk, she ends up vomiting on my cock.

Switch to her pussy to avoid more puke, she ends up passing out and the other guys have left so husband starts going on her (first time ive seen) and keeps asking me to join, I start saying I dont think I can do it, meanwhile she completely passes out, he asks me not to leave, I debate with him while he fucks his passed out wife.

unprotected sex with junkie chicks

it's an unfortunate ace in the hole card i have to play every now and then...

Drunk at a party, Friend A wanted me to watch him fuck his girl. I said sure, Friend B joined me. While they were trying to get it on Neither I or Friend B would shut up because we were totally drunk off our asses and kept getting Friend A and his girl more interested in our conversations than the sex. I think A said he couldn't even get it up at one point because he was laughing too hard. Then I threw up over his balcony.

>I was fucking an ex gf and fuck buddy
>8/10 hot face, perfect ass, nice curves, but zero boobage
>she's screaming at me to fuck her harder
>we doing doggie
>she starts spanking my ass
>whatever reason this kills my boner
>she starts to fucking cry
>I'm desperately trying to get hard
>"its broke nigga, it's broke"
>sobbing louder
>decide to start fingering her
>she still cries
>thisiswhatyouwanted.gif
>jumps up crying saying I thought she's ugly
>ran into my kitchen and pulled a butcher knife
>she fucking started slashing at me
>I thought she was just being dramatic
>I move in to grab it and she cuts my fucking arm open
>we all screaming now
>she drove me to the ER, got stitches

10/10 would fuck Boner killing crazy knife bitch again

This.

except the vomit wasted on the balcony, it wasn't stupid

>went into a rub and tug in dubai
>say i want turkish bath and massage
>ugly old pinay leads me into massage room
>whatever she just works the front desk theyll send in a hot one
>get changed into little massage shorts lie down
>same lady comes back starts massage, whatever a massage is a massage
>really is rubbing me down good, gets down to butt, starts working it, fingers get closer and closer to hole...
>slips a finger in, i like it, and push back, slips two fingers in, im on hands and knees now
>she is finger fucking me while working my cock
>flips me over
>continues finger banging me, jerks me off untill im just about to cum
>looking me straight in the eyes while she blasts my ass not even touching my cock, i start cumming, she starts laughing
>what the fuck did i just do!
>get cleaned up, tip her and start walking out, man at front desk stops me, how you like your massage
>yeah she did a good job
>she? you mean he, he is our most requested
>my face when i realize an old philippino dude fingered me until i came

wtf,
expected her to slash the non-functional penis

Yeah, that's what I did to the one guy who asked me straight up.

Dunno if dude believes me or how many people heard the rumor.

Eh, afterwords I felt stupid for agreeing to watch. A had mentioned he got another friend to watch before but was disappointed he didn't jack off to it. If I stayed there much longer I probably would have tried and failed given how drunk I was.

Letting her get away. Three to five years of regret.

HPV has nothing to do with any form of herpes

>Stupidest thing you've ever done sexually?
Definitely fucking and wifing up a stripper. I managed to get away with no STDs but Jesus Christ that was some buuuuullshit.

Moop

drunkenly got bj. maybe she felt forced.

Stuffed a bit butt plug entirely into my gf's ass so none was poking out and the super glued her asshole shut. Left it like that 24 hours before dropping her at a hospital to get it sorted.
I got off to the submissivenes and humiliation of the act. Sexually, she is a push over and let me do it just to please me.

Herpes and HPV is not the same thing.

shaved all my body and plucked out my eyelashes and covered myself in vaseline. all for a old man who said he'd pay. he came in my eye, forcick my lids open. he didn't pay.

I think your story is fake and gay.

if it was real, he would've bragged about it on every single thread of Sup Forums since its inception

I've done some sick shit, fucked chicks, guys, trans guy, trans girl, been pegged, I regret nothing (except this one time when I fucked a land whale, I was horny). I want more of those gay sex things tho, gonna get a bf next, then when that's over start dating chicks again.

>19
>hella drunk at a party
>everybody randomly starts kissing
>girl I kiss says lets get outta here
>make out in her room for 20 minutes
>clothes start coming off
>she gets up, vomits all over floor, slips in vomit
>had doubts, but wanna fuck anyway
>desperatevirgin.jpg
>she asks me to go down on her, do it cuz desperate
>snatch tastes like blood
>part the red sea bareback with a stranger
>too drunk to orgasm
>fall asleep questioning why I did this

how I lost my virginity

idk if it was stupid but i cammed my wife masturbating and then i let a friend of mine watch the video.

lmao

Lol what?

Finger my gfs butthole, forget to wash hands. End up with pink eye a couple days later.

Got HIV

>>Fingered you

What ever you need to tell yourself user

you're just a generous guy

he liked it :)

HPV = High Performance Vector graphics card

forgot to wash hands, then made a sandwich and ate it. Tasted like shit.