/swg/

post stuff you're working on and people with varying skill levels and mediocre social skills will give you feedback

Other urls found in this thread:

soundcloud.com/citygazer/darkwave-wip
vocaroo.com/i/s0oArcRGiR65
vocaroo.com/i/s1LytbmHN8zj
vocaroo.com/i/s08mljKVIfE7
youtube.com/watch?v=s8IExZoklac
youtube.com/watch?v=hSHOjm3EW2U
soundcloud.com/citygazer/darkwave-wip_2
vocaroo.com/i/s0RTHzoZmhbj
vocaroo.com/i/s1dDQ3GnaKID
vocaroo.com/i/s0cxtiwF9LRY
youtube.com/watch?v=Qw468qlDaAE
shillsandsages.bandcamp.com/track/live-demo
clyp.it/hx2zdipl
youtube.com/watch?v=KoXAvBJuRew
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

can it be sc or does it have to be clyp.it or whatever its called

post whatever you want, vocaroo, sc, bc, just straight lyrical text, wahtever. I make these threads when I'm gonna be up all night for school so I can distract myself by giving people feedback since usually these threads are 90% content and 5% feedback and 5% shitposts.

alright, i've only been producing music for 3 months with no musical background so pls no bully. also i started this yesterday and can't think of a melody for the next part so that's why its so short soundcloud.com/citygazer/darkwave-wip

i've been pretty fixated on death lately. this whole genvieve ordeal has certainly contributed as well. i hope i'm not doing phil a disservice.

vocaroo.com/i/s0oArcRGiR65

lmao i wouldn't make these threads if i was just gonna flame anons for their soundclouds

it's not terrible for someone with next to no musical experience. you clearly have some kind of understanding of how musical lines and music flows, so i think with practice you could really improve. I think the main place the lack of musical experience shows is in your chords. The first chord is normal, voiced fine, etc. But the second chord has some weird notes and voicings in there; not harmonic enough to be poppy, but not dissonant enough to sound more industrial or dubstep-esque. I would work on tracing out some of the chords if you can to try to make sure they sound good in sequence, especially since you're just starting out. I wouldn't stray too far from fairly traditional progressions and structures, so just fucking around with like 1-6-4-5's aka the basic pop progression would be my rec to develop your fundamentals.

I don't wanna be too nitpicky since this is a day-old draft from someone who is very new to music, but I also think the sort of buzz or fuzz in the background makes it sound a little too cheesy for the darkwave vibe I assume you're going for here.

anyway good luck, hope you stick with it long enough to develop yourself fully

lol, you are on the internet. You will get hated on soon. Just remember that whatever they tell you is their opinion.

thank you, i'm gonna work on it now

i know dude lol

I've been trying to find a tasteful way to incorporate a post-internet aesthetic into dungeon synth.

vocaroo.com/i/s1LytbmHN8zj

I'm gonna give it to you straight since I think that's the best way to give feedback, and I mean no offense whatsoever, but this genuinely sounds like a worse version of A Crow Looked At Me style stuff. That being said, there's a lot you could do to work on it and make it solid. Some of the harmonies you have work well, and I think developing those and making them stronger would really match the vibe you're going for here. I think this song could seriously use some trimming down; it doesn't have enough going on in it right now to justify being five minutes long, so I would tighten up and make a few choice cuts to bring it down. It's also difficult to tell what chords you're using a lot of the time, so I would polish up some of the voicings. I guess the main problem of this song is that it feels way too loose; it's hard to tell what the chord progression is, it kind of feels like it doesn't have a tempo, and the melody is so variable that it becomes impossible to remember. I would maybe use another instrument as well, with just you and the ukulele (?) it verges on sibilant, since your voice is a little higher and wispier, so a full-on guitar or more instruments might broaden it out and make it feel a bit more solid.

In general, I think you just need to edit yourself more and tighten things up. Also, right now you're so derivative of that Mount Eerie sound that it's pretty much impossible to not compare you to them, and that's a tall order for anyone; I would recommend adding more distinctive elements to this, whatever pops into your head.

Lyrics were the most solid part of this easily, although the "see me" motif got a little tired for me after a while. I could better criticize those if i saw them written out tho.

Anyway hope it's not too harsh, I'm genuinely not trying to flame you, and I think you could really develop this vibe into something if you tighten up and keep at it

yoo, this is great. how long have you been doing music?

Everything I touch is shit. What's the point in living if you're certain you will never be happy?

I particularly dont like dungeon synth that much, but this is pretty good. I dont think the song "does" enough. It has a vert static vibe to it. Melodies are nice, but it was simply boring.

Please give this a good listen, I have no musical training and I made this sone night ut of boredom.

vocaroo.com/i/s08mljKVIfE7

I had no instruments, only my voice, so w/e

lmao what is "post-internet"?

this has some really good nuggets in it. I was really not a fan of the last two minutes or so, though, the part where it gets properly dungeon-y. Felt like you were introducing dissonance for the sake of it, the chords didn't really interact at all, and I mostly just found it unpleasant. Didn't really conjure much of a vibe for me either.

The first part is pretty cool; really like the texture you're going for here. Sounds like an off-kilter Professor Layton game, and I mean that as a compliment. That said, I think you could also benefit from making it a little less loose. The melodies at the beginning would all be great if they were a little clearer. As it stands, it just kind of ambles without developing, and it becomes kind of unclear where in the phrase you are as a listener. Like you lose where the beginning and end of the melody is, so it sort of takes on that vaguely pleasant but not-so-deep vibe of computer generated music.

I would say just refine some of your melodies to be more clear and maybe expand or soften some of the explicit dissonance of the last part and this will go from okay to very good

>Also, right now you're so derivative of that Mount Eerie sound that it's pretty much impossible to not compare you to them

it's a mount eerie cover user (or technically the microphones but same shit).
youtube.com/watch?v=s8IExZoklac the part i covered starts at 10:43

i guess i should have specified that to begin with. anyways, thanks for the feedback. it isn't often i can find someone who cares enough to listen to and critically analyze my shit.

have faith, user. You can't be certain you'll never be happy. A lot can change in a week, a month, or a year. Depression makes you feel certain that you can never be happy, that's the danger of it. It makes you forget that you have ever felt good, and it makes you feel like you know absolutely that you'll never feel anything good again, but it's so important to remember that it isn't true, it's just an incredibly seductive and persuasive lie your brain is telling itself. Some people find their calling late in life, or their solution to happiness, or whatever. Don't give up, because happiness is achievable for basically anyone with internet access. You just have to figure it out, and that takes time, but it can get better user. I hope you can believe me.

oh my bad, I'm not a huge fan so I didn't recognize it lmao. a lot of it still stands, just tighten up the harmonies and instrumentation and maybe throw some of your own ideas, however weird they may seem, in there, and you'll be a bit better off. Hope you still found something in there to take away

thanks user. i've been playing bass on and off for about ten years now but i've just recently started to orient myself with DAWs and whatnot.

that's a long time, wish i had that experience as well

ok guys if you wouldn't mind letting me know if this sucks or not

youtube.com/watch?v=hSHOjm3EW2U

lyrics in descrip, two other songs on the channel if you feel like checking them out. Produced literally overnight, so some of the mixing is a little rough, but what can you do.

gay shit kill yourself

if you insist

are the chords better user?
soundcloud.com/citygazer/darkwave-wip_2

>lmao what is "post-internet"?
i mostly just meant that it's as much inspired by james ferraro and oneohtrix point never as by burzum and mortiis.

>Felt like you were introducing dissonance for the sake of it, the chords didn't really interact at all, and I mostly just found it unpleasant. Didn't really conjure much of a vibe for me either.
i will definitely take this into consideration. that was pretty much my first experimentation with dissonance. i wanted to try and go for an uncanny valley effect but you're right that it isn't subtle enough.

thanks for all the great feedback. this just makes me want to go back and make it better.

i don't like it but its really good

Actually yeah, esp with the bass note coming in so clear the second time around it clicked a lot easier, for me at least. however, the last chord, like the second chord of the second phrase, still feels a little weird to me. That said, I'm just some dude on the internet, so if you like it as-is then totally stick with it

no, i appreciate it. and i thought the same thing, i just wanted to hear someone elses opinion first

Is it ok if it's instrumental?
vocaroo.com/i/s0RTHzoZmhbj orchestral, soundtrack
vocaroo.com/i/s1dDQ3GnaKID jazz, variations on the Creed movie theme
vocaroo.com/i/s0cxtiwF9LRY japanese-sounding funky electronic music

technically it decent, but i'm not convinced of any sincerity. it all comes off as very cheesy and kitsch

lmao thanks dude i appreciate that

yeah, i get that. I think 90% of that comes from the MIDI instruments, like it's hard to make something sound sincere when it's using the same strings and piano that you'd hear on hold with Wells Fargo. Still, point taken

thanks user. i'll have to look into ways of giving it some more momentum.

>vocaroo.com/i/s08mljKVIfE7
this is weird as FUCK. pretty interesting though. you should definitely listen to medulla by bjork if you haven't already.

>weird as FUCK. pretty interesting though
Thanks, I really appreciate this. I am inspired by noise musicians and James Ferraro / Spencer Clark, so I take that as a complement.

I have a vintage yamaha in the mail, so hopefully I can add some concrete melody.
Also I am looking into matrix mixers, but they cost around 200 dollars baka.
vid related.
youtube.com/watch?v=Qw468qlDaAE

why does making music have to be so expensive???

if you're really dedicated and you grind for a couple years i'm sure you could catch me. as i said, i only played on and off so it's not like i made use of the full ten years. you got this user

thanks :)

more than ok, yea

Just in general, all of these are solid, and I'm sure you know that, but to get down to the nitty-gritty:

>orchestral, soundtrack
this is easily the least compelling of these imo. you got the vibe pretty well, a lot of the tropes, but you didn't put much of a melody in here. Also sounds more like JRPG menu music than soundtrack to me, but that's kind of a six of one, half dozen of the other situation. Point is this is enough to hit the vibe and impress people, but it's not an amazing piece in and of itself, and wouldn't cut it for an actual soundtrack.

>jazz, variations on the Creed movie theme
solid again, you clearly have good songwriting fundamentals. This is fairly by-the-book, though, as far as a jazz interpretation of a song is concerned. The voicings are all totally unobjectionable, but nothing here really wowed me. Maybe I'm biased as a jazz pianist myself, but good work nonetheless.

>japanese-sounding funky electronic music
my favorite of the bunch. nailed the vibe again, and I found the melody to be genuinely really catchy, i can still summon it in my head even as I write this post.

I would call all of these samples successes. I'm assuming you're challenging yourself to evoke certain styles or aesthetics, and you've hit them all. My main criticism (and I have been a little harder on you just because you clearly have a lot more training and fundamentals and better equipment than just about anyone else in this thread) is that I feel like i don't know what *your* music sounds like. What's the music you want to make? It's all well and good to keep doing these fun little imitations and exercises, and they're certainly good and enjoyable, but I still feel like I have no idea who you are as an artist, what your ideas and inclinations are. I would love to hear something that has a lot more individual authorship to it, something that strays a little more from such well-worn conventions.

Boring.

Hot Topic might buy it.

Boring. Might function as video game music.

Painful to listen to. Did you steal the percussion loop?

Catchy. Sounds pretty gay, literally, like Patrick Wolf or something. Not something I would ever spend money on.

Good stuff! You have professional potential assuming you wrote and produced everything.

tbqh all i was going for when I wrote this was catchiness so I'll chalk that up as a W. not gay, but so it goes

I thought it was the most interesting part. Sounds quite a bit like tribal drumming.

AIDS is catchy.

The composing isn't bad. The lyrics and message are probably not going to do you any favors to your masculinity.

Thank you for the detailed feedback.
>I'm assuming you're challenging yourself to evoke certain styles or aesthetics
Yeah pretty much
>more training and fundamentals and better equipment
I'm self-taught and don't have that much equipment - an electric piano, a couple guitars, a $80 sound card and a MIDI cable basically, but I see your point
>What's the music you want to make?
Mostly I want to get into soundtrack composition, which is why I'm trying all these genres. I used to make black metal, then I made ambient piano music and now all this, so I myself have no idea what "my" music sounds like. I could make some more experimental stuff, and you might find it less generic, but I'm not sure that would make it more personal. I'm just really interested in music in general without necessarily having a voice I guess - which is why I want to write soundtracks or maybe produce other people.
I don't know man. I guess you could call it an existential music crisis.

yeah but writing catchy music is a lot harder than you might think, no need to be a dick about it.

real worried about the masculinity thing, though. When i made this track I thought it was some hard shit, the kinda stuff that makes women shiver and men quake, so I'm really gonna have to rethink my approach on that.

have wanted to get some insight for my writing but have always been put off with the idea of someone stealing my stuff, even more so now when that guy got his writing stolen in a previous thread recently. not that's it that good, but yeah....

>even more so now when that guy got his writing stolen in a previous thread recently
sauce?

>when that guy got his writing stolen in a previous thread
What happened?

do you not have some kind of higher-level music production software? if not, you gotta tell me where you're getting your MIDI sounds, because they sound professional grade for sure. For being self-taught you have amazing fundamentals, congrats on that. I think you're perfectly suited to both production and soundtrack composition, the ability to effectively evoke a vibe or sound or mood is the main thing that stands out from these samples. If that's what you wanna do, then I say go for it; I'd feel lucky to have someone with your skill produce my music.

here is a song i am working on. i still need to finish it and get a real recording. feedback is appreciated
shillsandsages.bandcamp.com/track/live-demo

if he's talking about what I think he's talking about, some user just mentioned that something he posted was rerecorded much worse and posted in a bandcamp thread by another user. only case I've ever heard of that, though

it was 2-3 weeks ago in a songwriting thread, a guy posted a song, and some/if not all of it was straight up stolen by a random dude. felt pretty bad for him desu.don't really remember other detalis about it.

first half has solid potential, vocal and harmonica melody are both good and I think you could have something with a real recording and a more fleshed-out version. Don't love the feel change and second half of the song, tho.

needs less drums/quieter drums/more on-tempo drums

everything else sounds prett nice. vocals should be louder in the mix too though

Scale of 1-10 how gay is this

Wrap my arms around the waist of the crowd
Im a celebration, hot and sweet
Lift them up with your words, thin casanova
The republic is at it again
They all want you, some way or another
10 feet tall and available, sleepless and sound
I’m the heat of the moment if only that long
I swear I’ll deliver someday
Come home, unsteady, feeling the evening
The hit, the success, the best of us still
Look at myself in the mirror for forty-five seconds
God, i used to be beautiful
Used to be
(Break)
More, than you imagined
Than you could
Possibly want
Im a fire with no furnace
Live for the burning, dont let it too close to you
All, That you hoped for
That you had
Ever conceived
You know that it’s too much to ask
(Break, return to verse)
Silver pedestrian, lend me your ear
Im alone and beloved, its never enough
Correct me, inspect me, im more than sincere
The lines by my eyes only deepen
Fall down the stairs with me, meet at the bottom
You’re all mine, you’re the one i swear to god
Cut through the everyone, baby you’re special
Baby ill be all yours, all yours
Look at me, listen, i’m all that you think
Baby i used to be everything
Used to be
(Break)
Over and over and over and over again
Split second guessing my hand on your shirt
Song in my head plays, requiem again
Quit stalling, it all ends the same
I swear i can feel the stars pulling at me
She wants me, but ive never wanted you more
It feels like the moon, let me melt in the middle
Used to be falling asleep
Used to be

thanks for the feedback. this was recorded with one mic the first night we tried to put it together so the mixing is very off. i will try to make the transitions between the two halfs more fluid but if it doesnt work out i might just rewrite it

Oh, I do use Ableton and vst instruments, it's just I uh, haven't bought most of them. I would but good orchestral vst instruments are stupidly expensive.
Thank you. I'm trying to find stuff to work on but the competition is tough.
Thanks!
Damn, that sucks. I get you could sue the guy for plagiarism but by the time a judge hears about it the vocaroo link will have expired and there goes your proof.

yeah i feel you, it's nice to think that talent is all you need to succeed as an artist, but it's definitely not quite true. Lmao yeah piracy is the only real option if you're not fairly well-off already, like I'm not about to drop $1,200 bucks just to make my violins sound a little crisper

u shld post m8

Heres some wacky lyrics guize
Grain can make bread or it can make liquor
force feed your problems to make them get bigger
youre cheaper than free cutting down dads apple tree trunk we flunked failed to fix amends but were drunk uncle sam wants to throw me in the slam but we dunk no prohibition in this kitchen is there a ship in this bottle my feet are bound as the sea sunk pleading guilty free speech treason this trials so out of season i tried as hard as i could and im giving you every reason
Did you really pull yourself up by your diamond studded bootstraps
Maybe if we kiss enough ass we can earn a few food scraps
When i think too much i vomit so pass me that gin that tonic yes im just so damn ironic wear my che t shirt with the price tag still on it

clyp.it/hx2zdipl
Just posted this in /prod/
Sorry for not giving any feedback, I have classes in fifteen minutes

youtube.com/watch?v=KoXAvBJuRew
H-here i go

Sweet Sean can't wait for the new AJJ record

(Saying this as an actual AJJ fan)

Where did you get the drums on the third one?