So there's this guy that steals my lunch almost everyday, can't beat his ass, any creative solutions?

So there's this guy that steals my lunch almost everyday, can't beat his ass, any creative solutions?

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Stop putting your lunch in a place where he can steal it.

put something disgusting on your food
or something that he is allergic to if you know of anything

Yeah, smear shit on it

blast him with piss!

Laxatives?

It's pretty simple OP, just put small chips of lead paint in the sandwich, he prob won't notice until he's older and is fucked

Anything specific you would recommend?

Or just throw a peanut in his face and hope

Put fish hooks in your sandwich then leap out the window.

Good idea

Shit

mix ghost pepper powder in mayo.

He steals my chips too, how would I do something to those while keeping them in the bag?

Where do I get ghost pepper powder tho

Can't kill gim? make him kill himself IT'S SO SIMPLE OP! Just fucking shit on his desk/ in his locker, just somewhere you know he will be hurt by.

Knife him in the throat

online or a store. My best bet would be to go to some supermarket and buy some blair's ultra death hot sauce.

loads of antifreeze in your food

What if everyday I put laxatives in my food until he stops eating it

Open carefully and re-seal with adhesive

Sounds like a plan thanks

I'll try

tell him for dessert is a jiffy pop in your pants and he needs to suck it to get the creamy filling

You are so underage OP its blatant, can you at least try and sound 18?

Yea so?

pay a nigger 3 watermelons and a bucket of fried chicken to murder him

Where I live niggers are scarce

My buddy's wife had this problem. He has a collection of insanely hot hot sauces (pic related). He marinated the chicken in one, then breaded it and fried it with chopped up dried bhut jolokia peppers mixed in with the breadcrumbs. He then made his wife a nice buffalo chicken sandwich for lunch. It was obvious pretty quick who was stealing her lunch.

MODS

Put Estrogen in the food.

Some cyanide

Poison the food ... Obviously.

Put Viagra in his food

>do it

Make your food hot as shit and sit back.

> make a sandwich with cat shit hidden in it
> Add aluminum foil pieces to sandwich. Or broken glass if you want to up your game.
> put a bunch of those snap-pop things in sandwich

those should stop them

Put a picture of this in your lunchbox

> Estrogen

Tasteless, won't notice a thing, and the effects are only noticeable in the long run.

Eventually he'll grow a pair of tits, so have fun with that as you will.

If you crush glass up into a power and put it in the sandwhiches everyday he'll eventually die or get really sick

So dont be so fucking obvious dude, you sound like your in middle school, jeez

I second the glass idea

When did the price rise so much? When I was young, half a chicken was enough

I like the glass idea

Put eye drops all over food...let dry...he should be donzo

No, too obvious.

If he gets hurt, which he will, he'll go bitch to the principle or whoever is the admin of the school and get you in trouble.

Use something subtle : Estrogen.

The hormonal therapy will fuck him up significantly, causing emotional swings and acting up. He'll develop breasts and become more feminine. Essentially you will destroy him in every way possible as a person without killing him.

> get a thing of powdered laxatives
> slip some into sandwich
> switch to soup the next time
> then back to sandwich
> do this back and forth for a bit
> ask him one day if he feels like grabbing a soup and sandwich somewhere

Hopefully he'll catch on and stop.
If not, glue a picture of Obama with the caption "filthy nigger chimpanzee prez" on his desk

>he'll go bitch to the principle or whoever is the admin of the school and get you in trouble.

-Principal this guy placed crushed glass on the lunch i stole from him

Not happenin' bro

Maybe get one of those exploding dye packs and rig it to your lunch bag?

Someone post the pineapple tormenter story that drove the one guy insane.

Best idea yet

Raw Chicken Salad - leave the chicken out for a day or two - lots of Mayo to hide it. Sit back and enjoy the show.

checked.

taking the lead from another thread on food poisoning: just put some rancid raw chicken into food. cover it with something to diminish the stench.

You piss/shit in the food and intentionally let him take it he's going to beat your fucking ass, you know that right?

Just give it a thought.

I would love to see the effects of feeding someone Estrogen first hand at some point, but I guess you doing a weekly update would service this desire.

This

Put Rhubarb leaves in your lunch in some way, whether it be in a salad or in place of lettuce on a sandwich. It's sour as fuck and somewhat poisonous

Grab a Habanero. Mash it as best you can, get rid of the seeds. Make a sandwich. Put the sandwich inside a ziploc bag. Now, here's the trick part: You want to smear the bag all over, but perhaps not the sandwich and the zipper area. Be generous, even if it dries. Keep this in mind, maybe put the ziplock inside a paper bag so it doesn't touch anything else. if he takes it, he'll invariably get habanero on his hands. It won't burn the skin immediately, but wait for him to touch his face and around his eyes. This is involuntary. He'll think twice after that. You can additionally grab another ziplock, put a habanero in it, mash it and then flip the bag inside out and wear it as a glove of sorts. Go grab his locker or belongings, if he wears headphones, you know what to do. Same effect. We did that with a friend's neighbor's car's door handles because he kept blocking my buddy's driveway, even when he had a 3 car garage. He never did it again.

lol they got banned from my school cos everyone was buying boxes of them and throwing them in class.

i'll look back on it in 20 years and cry.

Are you like 12?

Put meth in sandwich.
Report coworker for drug use.
They test him, he pops positive, he gets fired, you're fucking clean.

Just make a sandwich with 2 bottles of eyedrops on it. Follow him to the bathroom and laugh your assistance off while he shits.

Cum in your lunch daily
document it thoroughly
show him the documentation after a period of time

Put crushed up viagra pills in the bait food daily. Plant a seed in the most gossiping girl's mind that he's creeping. Sit back and enjoy the show.

are you living in heaven?

Wait until you have a late workday, then put lots of melatonin in the food. It will not make someone go to sleep like some sleeping medications, but it is a natural chemical in the body, thus perfect if someone is at risk for falling a sleep behind the wheel. if ti is during the day time, then do it anyway, it will not make them sleepy but it will make them very irritable after continuous high levels, thus it will make them more of an asshole at work.

the habanero sauce is a great idea I have this one
get red hot chili peppers like about 20 mix them in a blender with salt and water and a spoon of vinager.
this is guaranteed to make him even cry dont take out the seeds this landed me in the hospital, plus his reaction at the first bite will be hilarious make sure to pour it on the bread.
you need to fry them before here is the recipe my good man or share the sammich maybe he doesnt have money for food at home or something.
youtube.com/watch?v=tSwDi2HzaAg

psychedelic mushrooms

EZ PEA Zzzz, Cum all over your sammich, let him steal it , watch him guzzle on your jizz, ggwp.

Kill his entire family.

You are all cancer. Op is underage faggot who gets his home lunch stolen everyday. Punch the bully in the face little boy. Or the same thing will happen when you grow up. Except it will be your wallet, car, girl etc. Either rise from beta or nourish that fucker with some good food cuz his dumb ass will be fighting over seas for you while you surf Sup Forums and eat cheetohs.... also ban this fag, he's underage.

Put a few drops of piss and cum in the sandwich then each time you see that person eat one of your sandwiches, it will lighten your day up knowing that someone just ate a sandwich containing piss and cum. Make sure that is it a small amount that is brushed on so he does not notice the taste.

This. Some dried out caps mixed in with a salad-type sandwich would kick in after about 2 hours...jackpot!

If drug tests are coming up, then some pot sandwiches are good (if illegal in your state), just make sure it is small enough doses to not get high. it will still trigger on a drug test.

If it is legal, then get some other illegal drug to put in tiny doses.

Another option is to rub the food against a cats butt. Your coworker will love the added toxoplasmosis.

Spoken like a true beta. Kill yourself and take your family with you.

>just make sure it is small enough doses to not get high
wat

You don't want the jerk stealing the food to get high, you want them to fail the drug test and not know why. Have it come as a surprise.

No I want him to trip out in class. He must have that moment where he knows he fucked up by eating that brownie in order for OP to assert his dominance.

This is not true.

It even came up in court, and the counsel for the defence ate a load of ground glass in court.

And didn't died.

Call the police. That's what they're there for.

OP, lace it with jimson weed.

You can find it in the wild, and it's not illegal because no-one in their right mind would want to take it.

Apparently tripping on it is like meeting satan himself.

Put poison in the food. Or a more reasonable situation, put something that'll make him sick in the food.

Poison your food

You are truly blessed

The secret to a good sandwich worthy of theft, is a mixture of salmonella and listeria. Do you have a butcher shot nearby?