Here is your popcorn and small soda, sir. That'll be $35.29, plus tip

Here is your popcorn and small soda, sir. That'll be $35.29, plus tip.

Where's Jamal?

He's on break, sir.

I'm not paying nigger

It's like $10-15 at worst and you're not expected to tip at a corporate theater, and this meme is fucking stupid and needs to die.

Do you accept food stamps?

>not getting the crab special for only 50 dollars more!

C-c-can I get a small box of crablegs with t-th-that p-please?

Fucking hell you nigger, Jamal charges me the half fo that.

>large popcorn with layered butter
>two bottles of water, because that shit is salty
>throw in some nibs if I'm feeling cheeky

What's your theatre haul, anons? Don't say you bring food in, you underage faggots, theatres only make money off the food, so support them.

HIS NAME IS ROBERT

THEN WHY DOES IT SAY JAMAL ON HIS NAME TAG

That's LITERALLY how much it would cost.

Holy fuck this one got me damn it

Hey crabman

There's no salt on the popcorn and that's not even the soda I ordered, you're only getting a $10 tip buddy.

pleasuring my wife

where do you guys buy your cinematic falcons?

where are the crab legs I ordered

*orders a 6*

>walk into theatre for suicide squad
>it aint me starts playing
>jared leto empties his ar 15 into the crowd
>bleeding out and losing consciousness, manage to crawl out of theatre
>theatre employee hands me a bucket of crab legs and says "that'll be 9.11, plus tip"
>California theatre condor shits on my head

Does the special come with a bib and butter?

>sir you are not allowed to address me directly please kindly exit the theatre and leave the crab legs

who tips at a movie theater?

If I remember correctly the bibs you get in the shower room but butter is 12 dollars an ounce. but they deliver it to your seat in 5-7 min intervals, they seem to not have it on hand, they always send a black guy out to get it and cums back with a shot glass full of it.

>stare at vendor icily for a few seconds.
>s-sir..?
>roundhouse kick vendor into popcorn machine, popcorn, blood and broken glass everywhere.
>"keep the change"

Don't mind. Have not been to the theater in 6 years.

I didn't know Aunt Jemima had a son.

I.E. haven't had a date in 6 years.

i fucking hate these ridiculous prices at the theater. so i make a mess as payback

by the end of the movie i intentionally try to make as much a mess as possible, i empty all my food onto the ground just pour my drink all over the floor and chuck my popcorn all over it. I kick over all the food containers and buckets to make sure the shit is spilled. After exiting the movie I go into the bathroom and piss all over the toilet paper, seats and floor.

>ROADHOUSE

Do not need to date. My wife is fine. Not looking for a new one.

well that's good, how is your wife's son?

Fun fact: Your wife still wants to go on dates even after you marry her.

No need to thank me just pay it forward summerfriend.

You are trying too hard. You should stop.

woah hey mr.edge

I know a guy who sells cucksheds for half price if you're interested.
and you are right, nobody accomplishes anything by trying hard! I should just give up

I'm good. Thanks for the offer though. I can tell you have personal experience in that subject, so I will leave you to have fun with it in your own shed

Yeah I got a bunch of buddies of mine great deals. They really are cool, I visit their wives for awhile then come out and tell them I am going back home.

>shows boy pussy and gets back in for free