Chiropractor here. Ask me whatever the fuck you want, I'm bored

Chiropractor here. Ask me whatever the fuck you want, I'm bored.

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What made you decide not to become a real doctor?

Do you give happy endings?

Once in a while a parent brings in their little girl and I get to relocate her joints. Sometimes it requires movement of the lower pelvis.

I had the hatchback of a car dropped on the back of my idiot head when I was 9 and now sometimes I get a terrible ache on the left side of my head/neck/shoulder, what can I do to relieve this?

Not a masseuse.

yeah what sort of excerise is helpful for Scoliosis?

I have rotated vertibraes in my lumbar spine. I was told by 3 physicians that I will live with this pain for the rest of my life. Two physicians told me that I would be able to see a good chiropractor a couple of times and should be set.

I went into some pretty bad spasms the other day after getting a sinus infection and body aches. Went to the ER.

What course of action so you recommend? The pain is mostly spinal pain. Standing for long periods of time hurts my spine in the lumbar area. Laying down also hurts and I have to arch my back for around 20 seconds before everything starts to stretch out but sleeping is usually pretty uncomfortable.

I'm a security officer at a mental institution and my job is pretty difficult for me but I make good money. Please halp.

Definitely some re-alignment can help. However, depending on how long you have had a certain alignment, re-alignment can be more difficult. Schedule a meet with a local chiropractor and they can do a check-up on you. They can measure tension in your joints with a little device that measures nerve temperature. Pretty neat.

Google it fag

Do you actually believe that vertebral subluxation is the cause of all illness and disease?

Definitely meet with a chiropractor to help you with this. Spinal issues can be very complicated depending on the factors that play into it. I don't know enough about your case to make a definitive claim, but getting it checked out can't hurt.

No. Whoever told you that is either extremely dishonest or is trying to make a layman interpretation actually mean something.

Sorry, should add that it IS IN FACT a factor, but is not definitive. A common analogy made to counter this is that the argument that Vertebral Subluxation causes disease is similar to saying being a couch potato causes heart disease. It VERY WELL MAY have a role in it, but it's not by any means the biggest playing factor.

Thanks man. I'm getting hooked up with a new doctor in a week or so and I'm going to have to schedule a few tests for me like x-rays and such. Then hopefully before mid February I'll start making a treatment plan with a local sports chiropractor that I get unanimous recommendations from.

Sure you are. That's literally your job description.

This is not me (below)
Meet with a chiropractor for some good exercises. There are common exercises that you can find with a quick google search, but for the most part actually getting a diagnosis and advice from that diagnosis will always be superior.

I'm a glorified masseuse

Why didn't you study hard enough to become a real medical professional?

What's your favorite type of fish (to eat)

Shits easy and I get to touch little girls

Vegan.

For anyone asking questions here, go to an orthopedic doctor. You need a real doctor for real issues.

But real doctors don't give happy endings.

Wrong. Orthopedic doctors treat general pain, and will usually refer you to a chiropractor for specific (for example) spinal re-alignment. They can assess better than we can though of course.

How often do you say "theeeere we go" along with a consoling pat on the shoulder per day?

What's your dad like?

Usually hit them with the ol' "good girl" or "good boy" when they are like 18 or younger. Other than that I just say "well done" or "perfect" even though I still know they are horribly fucked up. Part of the treatment is making them FEEL better as well. :)

No doctor worth his degree will recommend a chiropractor. He might as well recommend a witch doctor.

You'd be surprised by the wonders a good re-alignment of the atlas or spine can do for some people with horrible kyphosis and thoracic pain. Seen people go from hopeless to normal in just short of months.

How does it feel to be a quack whose practice is not based on any academic evidence?

I have poor posture and one of my discs is sorta poping out from my neck. Sorta like a ball on bone behind my head. Help?

Plz respond

Had a kid who was literally hunched over like the wicked witch of the west and went to normal in 5 months. It was just in time of his graduation as well. Touching moment really, always have kept in touch with him.

Greetings OP, my hip makes clicking sounds every time I turn my leg. I slipped on a Fantabuloso soaked floor at work nd landed right on my right cheek. Any way to fix this by myself? Like.. fully functioning, just this annoying ass click in my hip.

Schedule a meet with a local chiropractor. What you have is more common than you think and a quick re-alignment works wonders.

Couldn't you get the same benefits with inversion therapy without all the cracking?

Nice trips

And no, do not try to re-align your hip by yourself. I clearly don't know all of the details of your case, but get a meet with a chiropractor and tell him everything. He can even get an xray of your hip and pinpoint exactly where your problem is, and help you out through either medication or physical therapy.

My biggest advice is don't let it go left alone for long.

Don't be an autistic sperg

That's a hernia, go to a real doctor.

Or visit an actual doctor instead.

Plz. Tell. Me. What your dad's like OP

Good.

What do you think of Maximized Living?

>checked
Truuuueee.. I have a feeling this is going to suck when I get all wrinkly. Ayyyyyy. Added to my to do list. Thank ya kindly.

No. That's not a good enough answer. You med school drop out nigger. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FATHER AT ONCE

Translation:
>Don't tell anyone about inversion therapy - I'm trying to buy a boat

Why does my chiropractor keep trying to sell me supplements.

Hi doc, I have sciatica shooting down my left leg from herniation from L5S1. Some dude came over to correct it and its fine now for many many months.

Any tips on how to maintain this so it doesent come back ?

Also, does cracking my neck fuck me up ?

Because laying on a scam 18th century contraption that stretches your back towards the ground will do anything about 99% of the problems people come to my practice with.

Actually fucking kill yourself if you believe that shit works, and feel proud that you just dumped 80 bucks on a hunk of shit.

i game too much and now spine is kaput. can i fix it myself with excersize/working out?

Sit, stand, and walk straight as much as you can. If you have significant pain, go to a chiropractor.

I use to climb a lot and have a really strong back because of it.

But after that and playing sports my body is too broken to be that active anymore. I'm still fairly active but nearly enough to maintain where I was at.

Because of that I have a bit of a hunch for some years now. Will realignment help?

talk to a real doctor, a physical therapist, the guy sitting next to you in the bar, a wino passed on the street...

not a chiropractor

Your pseudoscience saddens me. Why do you trick idiots into giving you money?

Ian from Aussy?

Thinking of improving my health in 2017. Will this help?

You might be developing kyphosis. Get yourself checked m8 and follow what your doctor says.

duh
of course it will

genius

almost as genius as the con-artist who came up with chiropractors

How do i get rid of a hunchback i formed from bad posture habits at a young age?

get a midget to stand on your lower back and punch your hump repeatedly twice a week. When the midget says it's starting to get better, go down to once a week, then to once every other week.

My back was fucked from an accident, but it's all nerves. I'll get them massaged and be good for a month or 2, then the same symptoms will re appear. Any tips ?

Re-alignment, you could be developing kyphosis. It can get pretty bad if left un-treated. Get it done professionally though. Some people fuck themselves up bad when they try to do alignment on themselves if they aren't trained.

Hey, thanks user.

Never works for me, my anxiety causes my back to spasm and my muscle just lock up

Is it bad that I pop my back all the time?

i wonder too, how about neck?

Do you #blazethatDankKush?

why are so many people skeptical of chiropracticors? do they have reason to be, are you guys actual doctors?

I live in Seattle

The crack you hear is simply gas released from the joint. There is no evidence it will fuck you up that bad.

How man carotic arteries have you dissected?

I have TMJ (locked open). I haven't met a Chiropractor who's willing to force it back in place. They all want to do focus on spine, not direct mandibular manipulation, but that did help with the pain. Been like this 6+ months.

Understand that we are actual doctors. I have a doctorate from a Chiropractic school and explaining shit in layman terms to shitheads all day really makes me wanna kill my self. Some chaps are alright though. Others, not so much.

Right, but I'm just wondering if it will fuck up my spine alignment or anything.
I twist pretty good to pop my whole lower back, then hook my shoulder blades over the back of my chair and rotate my shoulders back to pop my upper back

Talk to your physician about potential options. I don't know the full story, so clearly so can't give you any real advice that I strongly suggest you to follow.

There are many videos on Youtube on how to SAFETLY crack your back, and pretty much any part of your body. Of course, if you do it wrong then it can be dangerous.

Can you give us some posture advise
or little exercises we can do
Not to fuck up our spine and all

Step one: Don't sit like this.

I cringe inside out when people sit like this

get out pedo scum

I want to put my knee on that hump and pull on his arms...

How long do I have to go to school before I can do this?

Asking for a friend

Thanks. I'll do that soon, but just in general about cartilage: Why might tmj for the first few months lock and unlock, and then one day lock permanently? Does cartilage adhere at times and other times become loose? If so, what can a person with TMJ do to make things less tight or more malleable?

When I was a kid, I had to carry heavy loads on my back on a daily basis (don't ask...).
Now my spine is litteraly S shaped. It takes a considerable effort to stand straight and to conpensate, one side of my back is more muscular than the other.

I am 24 now, is there any way I can still straighten up my backbone ?
Thanks

You got lockjaw from tetanus.

Said by a true retard who never had back problems

As a real doctor, this is like someone with a Political Science degree calling themselves a "scientist".

How do you feel about this:
youtube.com/watch?v=l33ot5y-XxY&t=2s

have you ever studied a concept known as Joint play, I got to attend a seminar on it by a gentlemen who specializes on working on Olympic athelites it was an amazing for wrists fingers and shoulders.

It isn't unless you move your neck too quickly. Then you might pull a Katie May.
Also see Ig Nobel prizes in 2009 for more information.

this

Hmm, I did research this before going to a Chiro, and the symptoms didn't seem to match up. He confirmed it was TMJ, but wouldn't treat it directly. I'll just have to see a Maxillofacial specialist. Thanks!

Erm... actually this comment
Was meant for you

TMJ is not a condition. TemporoMandibular Joint = TMJ
What you have is a TMJ dysfunction.

it's my personal opinion that these Real Dr's your referring to have their foots so far up in their ass in elitism in their vows of do no harm, they don't seem to realize that means their supposed to be standing up the lies and poisons the pharmaceutical companies are pushing down our throats not help them do it. you know what I hate the most about Medical Dr.s? they are fucking Hypocrites. all the Woman they lie to about needing C sections, all the experimental surgeries just for a paycheck, completely ignoring the patient, doing just what they wanna do because they think they are better then everybody with a booboo because it doesn't happen to them because they are fucking gods gift.

Okay right, good point. I always forget. "TMJD" is probably more proper. :) Thanks again

I have this weird pain in my foot where the bone is... It hurts immensely. It's right below where my big toe's cushion like thing is. It feels like a bone but I'm not sure... What do I do? It really hurts bad. Like, REALLY bad.

I turned my gf into one of those fold-able lawn chairs and fucked her till she passed out. Now her back hurts and I can't unfold her. Any tips on which season I should prop her up at the beach under an umbrella?