Hey. I'm not gonna go into detail, I'm just gonna give the information straight up

Hey. I'm not gonna go into detail, I'm just gonna give the information straight up.
I'm miserable, I don't know how to be happy anymore. I don't even know if I've ever been happy.
I'm not gonna play the victim Olympics here, but I've had it pretty rough and the likelihood is things are only gonna get more difficult.
I'm not suicidal. I'm just very unhappy. What's your advice? I don't want meds. I occasionally self medicate with a bong or joint. But, I'd argue that's more recreational than medicinal.
I literally can't imagine more than a week into the future.
I don't feel comfortable sharing this with anyone I know personally.

I figured here would be a good place to ask, due to the anonymity. Feel free to prove me wrong.

Also, general feels thread.

Pick yourself up and develop an addiction

What do you think I should get an addiction to?

...

Nitrous oxide or tramadols.

I love nitrous oxide and I've got two tramadol on me. Is that enough to have a good time? 50mg.

You must know something that makes you happy or there's something you want to do to make you happy. You just have to go risk it man.
I'm not happy because I'm alone a lot, and I love being around people. I don't often get the chance to be around people so it sucks. Soon I hope. Just find a hobby or a friend to help make you enjoy life more.

OP please tell us Your story

It's not that interesting and it's long as fuck anyway. I may greentext at some point in the future.
Here's a greentext of some events, not all though.
>Bullied from the day I started school til the day I left
>Too pussy to kill myself
>Got raped when I was 15
>Lost nan, dad, autnie and then other nan in the space of less than a year.
>Parents alchoholics (Nice people though)
>Dad beat me a few times
>Brother actually tried to kill himself
>So did my mum
>Made to feel unwanted by my sisters as I watched my dad die, just nasty shit.
>Telling me because I'm the youngest he loved me the least, as he spent less time with me.
>Kept asking me and my twin to just leave the hospital

I want to be a teacher. Worried I'm not smart enough though.

Seek the unexcelled rest from the yoke: Unbinding.

What does that mean? Sounds like vaguely spiritual bollocks to me.

Follow your dreams. Im studying to become a teacher and it's not that hard. Just keep studying and be that awsome teacher that you never had

I am so sorry to hear that OP. The first half of your life sounded very similar to me but I couldn't imagine what you must be going through. I want to give advife but I don't feel like it'll help. Do you have enough to talk to a specialist who's trained in this field? Like a counsellor or psych?

I study psychology and all I've taken away from it is that none of them know what they're on about, beside a select few. 3 days out of 7 I don't feel like this. But man, those other 4 are hell.

Yeah.. Life sucks.. But happiness is relative and you can trick your mind. It's very easy to forget all the good times. And just as easy to forget the bad. And it can always get worse. It seems people just don't even appreciate it when they're happy. Best to just keep on going. Put in as much effort as you fuckin can without being obvious about it. Try to get to know people but don't make it obvious. Life is a poker game. Just try as hard as you can and never stop.

There's not much you can do about a shitty past but these days everyone is in the present. And you can try to live multiple lives y'know.. Have multiple friend groups

kill yourself

I've got a friend that has psychosis. He's a cool guy. Smoke weed with him. He's probably a good 10 years older than me. I confide in him for advice usually. Never told him everything thing though.


I'm pretty good at putting on a brave face. Hell, I'm usually the guy people come to for advice on this shit and no one suspects I'm in the same boat. Not that I'm saying I'm as funny, but think Robin Williams.

If only I had the balls.

I'd try going to a therapist. It's their job to try to figure this shit out. It takes a long time though, and you have to find one who fits with you.

I may have to, one day. Gonna go for meds anyway and just keep them for the occasional sesh.

I'm not a fan of meds. CBT helped me with my suicidal depression. I was able to accomplish more goals.

Hypnotherapy has been found to treat schizos as well as physical health problems. Maybe it could help you with this

From what I've studied, CBT makes the most sense.