ITT: Your deepest, darkest secret. Let's hear it

ITT: Your deepest, darkest secret. Let's hear it.

>be me 3 years ago
>work in the meat department at a major grocery store
>close the department by myself 5 nights a week
>every couple nights I pick a sexy looking cut of beef and cut a slit into it
>just the sound of the knife cutting through the sexy moist beef gets me diamonds
>I fuck the meat slab until I blow my load inside, fuckin creampie style m8
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>finish closing up shop once I'm done rinsing my filthy cow blood covered cock off in the eye wash station
>mfw I don't like using the regular sink for this task
>before I leave I wrap up my victim of the evening and place it on the store shelves, pre-wrapped, front and center
>when I get to work the next day it's always gone
>mfw I did this literally hundreds of times
>mfw no one ever complained or suspected anything
>mfw hundreds, possibly thousands of people have unknowingly eaten my cum
>mfw I feel no remorse

what the fuck

where?

>your local Walmart

I stepped on a cat once. It spent a few minutes struggling to breathe then I watched it die. It was an accident, but it kind of turned me on.

Fuck my life

boi

One time I farted at a funeral. I thought it would be silent

I was in a crowd of people and luckily couldn't be identified as the culprit

I was so thrilled by getting away with it that I farted loudly two more times before the funeral was over

i fucked my gramma who is in coma

What the fuck nigger

bumpo

I got succ of dicc from boo

you sound like my kind of man. i'd like to have a meat orgy with you.

I live in Trump tower. Come on over

You need a real man. I fuck cows

You make being vegan sound like a good idea.

Tell us your secret faglord

I am actually vegan. I only deal with the shitty no meat lifestyle so I can brag on the internet and be superior to all the meat-eaters.

my secret is that I can guess the last digit of my post number
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4

OH SHIT NIGGER HE HAS RISEN

hhhnnnnnngggggg

The funny part is, even though it only work 1-in-10 times, it is completely worth looking like a fool 9-in-10 times.

That's quite a secret you got there m8

But will it blend?

nice

it actually works 10/10 times. that's my secret
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Not 7

AMAZING! Can you only predict it, or can you effect is as well?

I steal money from my mom's purse. I'm 27

...

I can only predict. And I cannot use my God given powers too often or I become weak.
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Not 2

i securtly smurf on cs go

cunt

I spit in my neighbor's glass of water and he drank it.

check'd

I don't know why but that made me kek hard

...

Whatever helps you sleep at night

I played an extra in a high budget porn movie. Didn't get to fuck though :/

I would let my roommate's dog lick my cock while I sniffed her panties.

absolute madman

I have more empathy and sympathy than it may initially seem to some people.

kek'd/5

i dont

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood

Truly amazing.

My Babysitter jerked me off when I was 12.

GF likes to suck my dog when we fuck, or when she takes care of me.

Like I said, whatever helps you sleep at night

I've been jerking off in my step sisters used panties for over a decade

Is it because you have so much or so little?

dude. gross.

Yet you over looked this user

Me and my gf fucked while her kid was asleep in the crib right next to us

Mine shall be a seven

> goes to [website]
>wins at life

depends

You can't hope to share my powers.
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Not 9

Ive failed 5

just did

FALSE PROPHET

my moms friend tried to fonger me in the back of my moms car

I'm aware of that; care to elaborate?

I have a gambling addiction no one knows about

fonger
>fonger
>>>fonger

Thread

But 5 has not failed you, son. He will always be there for you in your darkest hours.

GTFO DEMON

Yes, this is a thread. Good job Billy

sometimes i bump threads

I like SSBBWs and have almost no sexual attraction to thin girls. My (relatively) thin girlfriend of a few months has gained some weight and it turns me on. She hates it and i try to encourage her to workout but i know she'll keep gaining.

Too late, I'm going to bed.

Your fetish is bad and you should feel bad

Bump

retard

i can guess the last 2

I secretly want to be gang raped by black men.

I'm totally not gay though

She knows

You're shit.
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Not 1

I have clinical depression and have never told anyone but professionals I paid to listen
Good life, money, family etc but most days can't wait to get to bed and be unconscious for a bit
If I wasn't naturally driven and competitive to a fault this shit would have beat me a long time ago. Onset when I was about 17 now 30. Own a business, married, have friends and hobbies but pretty much every aspect of my life is lived through a faked smile and demeanor. Haven't had kids yet but wife wants them. Maybe that will quell this emptiness and sadness that's with me always

False prophet

Well there goes my will to live. See ya fags

>few minutes struggling to breathe
>stepped
>accident

Don't be sad because it's over

Be happy because it happened.

Also, 7

I am really bad at guessing the last number of my post... uh. 6?

Trips works too

O shit m8

Dubs

...

shit. i got it right. not this thime. 7

also checked

I'm hard now just thinking about it

I had a relationship with my AP History teacher in Junior Year of highschool, and it ended so badly that I lost all taste for relationships. Haven't even tried dating since, and that was four years ago.

lol slut

Raped my 13 year old cousin while she was asleep. She was staying at our house because her parents had found out that her older brother had been raping her, and they wanted to get her out of the house while they dealt with him.

She had anxiety, night terrors, panic attacks, so she needed some pretty strong sedatives to stay asleep for more than an hour or two. One day I was home alone with her for the night, and I checked to make sure she was out cold, and went to town. Did it two more times in the weeks following till her mom moved in with use because their whole fucking family had kind of imploded.

I sincerely wish I hadn't done it, but I don't really feel remorse for it. I just think it was a foolish, pointlessly risky decision.

>I would let my roommate's dog lick my cock while I sniffed her panties.
>my roommate's dog lick my cock while I sniffed her panties.
>while I sniffed her panties.
>dog
>sniffed her panties
>dog
>panties
>dog
>PANTIES

That'll just make it worse. Sounds like you're setting up to live the life of a 20th century protagonist tho, so maybe that'll appeal to you. Your head will be in an oven in no time. Just make sure to write deep but angsty poetry, Plath

FUCKING DUBS RIGHT NOW NIGGERS

I fucking kekd hard

My friends and I accidently killed a hobo once. He was old, and creepy, and wouldn't leave us alone, so we threw him a beating, but the fucker stopped breathing. We just fucking ran, never came back.

Nice. Fuck hobos

I think he meant the roomates panties. Not sure tbh.

Nah he definitely meant dog panties

Why would anyone notice? They're literally eating flesh and blood.

When I was in college and friend and I set up a local cam network for the dorm (coed dorm) on which people would masturbate and watch other people masturbate. There was always someone on, and you rarely saw faces, so it was surprisingly popular, because people were turned on by the idea that they've probably masturbated with any random person they passed in the dorm halls. The way the interface was built, up to 24 people at a time could connect to the network and cam through it, so on any given day you'd open it up and see 2-24 different feeds of people masturbating.

The dark part is that I used to sell access to the feed to outside sources, so they could discreetly view it.