No feels thread

>no feels thread

Please lets do it

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No, I want to kill myself already I don't need more reasons.

My anxiety and depression is so strong It's affecting my body physically. I want to eat something but my head has so much pressure on it. I feel like I have to throw up.

Guys just make it stop. I just want out of this mental hell. Im so tired and I'm sick of sobbing.

Make it stop

I'm mad at my girlfriend and haven't talk to her in 1 day,today she we were at college and she left suddenly,not sure if it was because she hurt i don't talk to her or she was feeling bad

if trips I kms and stream it

Are there any more of these kind of pics?

ight I'm good, same time next week I guess

Never been fully depressed.... my life just feels empty. I just go through the motions day by day and nothing ever seems to change. I'll go through cycles where everything will look up, but it always crashes back down. I'm on a crash right now.

have u looked for professional help already?

No. I don't have the money. I wish I could afford a counselor. I need someone I can spill myself to and vent everything.

Or just a hug box of people to reassure ourselves. I need something.

Is this thing still going

man i need a drink

Its kinda weird. My life is starting to get a lot better. Its really scary for some reason. Not homeless any more, might have a job, 6 months no drugs or alcohol. I walk around all day just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. I dont think im messing up, but i feel like i am. Its like an extreme paranoia thing, panick attacks and what Not. I cant explain the feeling. I want to kill myself more and more every day. The better the day the more i think about it.

...

start getting out of home, go to bars, pubs, etc
It may look idiot, but you NEED to socialize, i used to think that it would never help me, but i found amazing people on that places and i fucking love beer, so its easy to aproach
Trust me, isolating yourselg will NEVER help you
>i hate people, dont want to talk to anyone
Make a fucking effort and start helping others help you

...

>it was raining
>cold
>dark
>I'm in my car
>its been weeks since I've seen her
>or talked to her
>i sit on this empty street and roll a joint
>it's nice
>the sound of rain hitting the glass windsheild
>the smell of stale tobacco smoke
>that beautiful head space when you are exceptionally alone
>but dont feel lonely
>and for just a moment...i forget
>i forget that she is gone
>i forget that she ever had a hold on me
>but only for a moment
>and as the darkness slowly leaks back into the car
>i light the joint, and start the car
>now content to embrace the darkness
>and let it come with me on this journey
>where ever i end up
>however far away i make it
>I'll always carry with me, the shadow she cast over my life
>and the fear that maybe i was meant to live in this shadow
>maybe this is for the best

I will try.

Does anybody want to know about my father who died on a drug overdose when i was 11

...

cont.
>i start to drive away
>i watch as the pavement gets left behind
>i drive past my first house
>my first school
>the place where i first kissed a girl
>the place where i first kissed her
>all now in my past
>she ruined them all
>everything i ever loved now just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
>i make it to the freeway
>before long im at the state border
>i pull over
>pull out my phone
>call her
>she doesnt answer
>i drop the phone and bury my face in my hands
>i have nothing left
>i am broken
>find shitty hotel off freeway
>im laying in shitty bed
>feeling...empty
>i keep asking myself "what the fuck are you doing?"
>but im in too deep now
>i have passed the point of no return
>i cant go back now
>there is nothing left for me there
>only pain
>and lost memories

Oh god... Oh God No....

cont. PT. III
>weeks go by
>i ended up in maryland
>got a shit job
>found a shit room to rent
>it snows alot here
>i havent eaten in days
>i dream about her at night still
>last nights dream was extra vivid
>and i cant seem to shake it
>first half of work seems to take forever
>i spend my lunch break sitting in the snow looking at pictures of her on my phone
>i wipe tears off my face
>take a deep breath
>and finish my day
>i get home and dont have the energy or drive for anything
>go straight to bed
>i think to myself
>"i wonder if she even remembers me?"
>fall asleep
>same dream
>only this time...its a little different

remember when you used to wake me up in the morning?
probably not.

I can't explain why but this is the realest photo I've seen in a while.

good luck bro

cont

Been there user, it's been about 4-5 years since, I remember sitting on my bed with bloody wrists, crying just repeating the phrase 'make it stop' until I eventually fell asleep. I don't know what exactly changed, maybe it was just time.
Keep your head up user

cont

About a month ago, my group of friends and I had a falling out because my younger brother (who's autistic) threatened one of them, as I desperately raced to resolve the issue, they accepted my apologies, just to reject them hours later without proper reason. One of them was one of my closest friends, and he said the worst things about my brother, I was cast out because I decided to defend my younger brother.
I am beginning to think I made the wrong choice.

PT. IV
>i wake up gasping for air
>look around the room frantically
>i swear i just heard her voice
>and not in the dream
>in this room
>but i dont see anyone in the room with me
>i get up
>walk around the house looking for somebody
>anybody
>but its empty
>im alone
>i go back to my room
>sit down and open computer
>hands are shaking
>its 5am and nothing seems out of place
>business as usual
>but i cant stop thinking about it
>i feel like someone else is in this house
>plus the dream happened again
>AND THE FUCKING VOICE!?
>im fucking losing it
>call in sick to work
>lock doors
>i spend the next 4 hours watching comedy movies
>smoking cigarettes
>trying to calm down
>clear my mind
>but it isnt working
>something isnt right

Cont

I swear if your the loch ness monster

Spot fucking on user I feel you

take this picture my friend
cont

PT. V
>a week has gone by
>everytime i fall asleep
>i wake up to her voice
>i swear its coming from inside this room everytime
>but she is never there
>and it breaks me every time
>so i stop sleeping
>the first night is easy
>by day 3 my eyes are getting heavy
>playing skyrim on laptop
>fall asleep
>suddenly i hear it again
>this time she calls my name
>i jerk awake
>same empty room
>look at my computer
>same empty realm
>then i think for a moment
>maybe its coming from the computer?
>is it possible?
>at this point i would honestly believe almost anything
>so i wait for the voice
>eventually it will make it while im awake
>so i remain awake and wait
>for days

Dubs

Cont

PT. VI
>i havent heard the voice yet
>but i have started hearing other voices
>i obviously dont look so good
>everytime i see my roomate, while on my short trips to the bathroom or kitchen
>he asks me "you alright man?"
>i always tell him im fine
>last time he said "you sure?"
>i say "yeah im good"
>not sure if im trying to convince him, or me
>but i dont think its working either way
>im falling apart
>i keep telling myself that i never should have left
>the voices keep agreeing
>my phone rings
>its an old friend
>i havent talked to anyone from home since i left
>i stare at it
>the voices say not to answer it
>i listen
>then the sad songs playlist starts to repeat itself
>so i make a new one
>i title it "i wish i was home"

How long were you alone for?

Cont

You might hold resentment towards your brother for the time being, but years from now you'll look back and be thankful you made the right choice. Even if your brother is a dick. Went through the same thing myself.

I've posted on R9K before, but nothing beats a b feels thread, I'll try and keep it brief, not ramble on with all the details
>When I was fourteen, I met a girl
>For the next 4 years of highschool, we'd be best friends, she even became good friends with my friends
>Always had feelings for her, she had these big blue eyes, I haven't seen that shade since her, if you looked into them you could see little specs of yellow, strangest thing
>Only after I had broken up with my first girlfriend had she finally told me how she felt
>We started dating, and after highschool, two of our friends, her, and I moved in together, with her and I sharing a room
>After I graduate college, the two of us move away from our poor as hell ghetto city
>Lived in a apartment for a bit, got married at 24
>She was pregnant by the end of the month
>We were able to snag a small house with three bedrooms and a backyard, we had both lived in small apartments and never had something to call our own, we'd sit in the yard and do nothing just to enjoy having something and someone to share it with
>Our daughter is born, cute as a fucking button
>I get a job I love
>Happy as fuck
>I get a call one day around two years into the marriage, wife was killed in a car accident
>It didn't hit me until I woke up alone the next morning
>Since the day we shared a bed, I haven't woken up alone, even after we'd fight
>It's been almost twelve years now, daughter is going on fourteen, she's doing good and I'm proud of her in so many ways
>I'll admit, I never got over her, but I've accepted that my love life is over, even if I met a girl I could love, I couldn't bring myself to "replace" her

Thanks user, but I can't shake the feeling, he is responsible for more shit in my life then he even knows

Sure

PT. VII
>after 2 weeks i finally go and pick up my last paycheck
>i can swear that i hear the owner say "pitiful" under his breath as i walk away
>he isnt wrong
>i have decided
>im going back
>i need to see her
>i need to see home
>i cant keep running
>i get in the car and drive to the gas station
>i fill my tank and buy a giant cup of coffee
>cause the lack of sleep can really hit hard at times
>i get on the freeway and start driving away from this haven i found
>the snow on the sides of the road creates a long hallway
>its easy to lose focus
>i catch myself sometimes drifting into other lanes
>so i just drink more coffee and keep driving
>suddenly...i hear her
>"I cant be your whole life"
>i turn to look
>the seat next to me is empty
>but i can feel her there
>i know its her
>i cant breathe
>i try to speak but air wont come out
>i force a deep sobbing breath
>and yell out
>"WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!?!?!"
>the car slams into the snow wall
>i wake up 2 days later in a hospital bed

It's a feels thread man, we all have the time to care

...

PT. VIII
>im alone
>im scared
>but i dont move
>i take a minute and try to remember how i got here
>i remember the crash
>then i remember her voice
>it felt so real
>a nurse walks in
>turns out i drove straight into the wall
>broke 6 ribs
>the guy who pulled me out of the car thought i was dead
>i didnt even make it out of the state
>they let me out of the hospital a couple hours later with a bottle of pain killers and a hearty handshake
>car is obviously totaled
>the only thing i have left in the world are the ripped clothes that im wearing
>but i cant stop
>i still have to get back
>i buy a train ticket with the rest of my money
>the train leaves tomorrow
>but ive got nowhere to go
>i spend the night smoking cigarettes and watching the world happen in front of me

Holy shit write a book
If nothing else putting your thoughts down on paper or a computer should help somewhat

I only got one brother in this life, user. Friends will always come and go.

PT. IX
>morning comes
>so does the train
>as i get on, a guy asks to see my ticket
>i show it to him
>"no luggage?" he asks
>i laugh to myself
>"nope"
>i walk to the very back of the train
>sit next to the window
>and wait
>wait for whatever is next
>the train stops about every two hours
>i take these times to chain smoke in the freezing weather
>i spend the rest of my time arguing with the voices about movie plot holes and if life is all worth it
>they seem to think it is
>maybe they know better than me
>i start to do the math
>i will be home in 5 hours
>i dont know what im gunna do when i get there
but if i have to, i will let the voices choose

This isn't really a true feel, but it really got me down for some reason.

>be me, 22
>lost job as pizza guy because of a dui (i know, i'm degenerate)
>go for about 3 months without work
>finally decide i need job to not fall behind on car payment
>get a call back from applebees
>interview for server and get job
>think it will be pretty much the same as delivering pizzas
>realize that it is completely different, much more customer interaction and way more stressful as i am very introverted and awkward
>waiting on a table of young girls
>continually drop my spaghetti
>manager and other server are watching me in the background
>notice they are staring straight at me, laughing and whispering to eachother
>feel even more embarrassed
>shift is over, and am cleaning the tables and shit to close
>manager asks to speak to me in his office
>asks me if i think i am a good fit for the job
>tell her yes, but she has concerned look
>tells me i seemed a bit nervous out there
>tell her i'm sorry and that i am still learning. (i did make a few mistakes throughout the night, but i thought that would be normal for my 3rd day on the job)
>she tells me she is going to move me to host instead
>kind of get a bit teary eyed, but don't actually cry
>she tells me i can go home now
>mfw the chad bar tender and another waitress watch me as i leave
>they knew
>go home and tell my gf that my shift went great
i feel so humiliated and worthless. thinking about not going back

PT. X
>the train makes it
>im home
>a line of cabs wait outside the station
>i pick one, and get in
>"no luggage?" he asks
>laugh to myself again
>"nope"
>he asks me where im going
>"im not sure"
>i tell him to take me to callaway park
>but im not sure why
>i used to go there alot when i was a kid
>but i havent been there in years
>he drops me off at the park
>as im closing the door i hear him say
>"good luck man"
>the cab drives away
>and again im alone
>i walk around the park for a while
>then around the block
>so many memories
>i see my whole life happening in front of me
>suddenly it starts to pour rain
>i continue walking
>the rain feels nice
>its cleansing
>before long i find myself lost
>afraid to call anyone
>to weak to keep walking
>i find an overhang and sit down for a minute
>and ask the voices what to do
>they dont respond

Well what does a host do?
And think of it more as an opportunity for you to interact more and get used to talking to people. It's a valuable learning experience! You can do it user!

thanks user for not asking if you should continue

Im fuckin hooked on this greentext

Thanks for the encouragement user.. it just sucks because I'm already almost 23 and feel like I shouldn't still be fucking up like this. I always used to shit on waiters because I thought their job was easy.
>you only have to take food to tables haha
It's going to be embarrassing to go back and for everyone to see I'm not still a server.
A host is just the guy who welcomes people to the restaurants and takes them to their table. At Applebee's they also blow up balloons and take out the to go orders to cars.

In b4 walk the dinosaur

PT. XI
>its raining
>cold
>dark
>im sitting in the streets
>its been almost a year since ive seen her
>or talked to her
>i sit on this empty sidewalk and cry
>its nice
>the sound of rain hitting the ground
>the smell of wet roads
>that terrible headspace when you are incredibly alone
>and no longer fear being lonely
>and for the rest of my sad life
>i will always remember
>i will always remember what she did to me
>how it slowly broke me
>and as the last bit of life leaked out of my body
>i stand up, and start to walk
>now content to embrace the darkness
>and let it watch while i end this journey
>whatever happens
>however far ive gotten from her
>i will always be lost in the shadow that she cast over my life
>no longer scared to accept that i was meant to die in this shadow
>it was all for the best

Holy fuck user.
I wasn't ready

ff youtube.com/watch?v=IRk8E-fllHI

Does anyone have or remember that picture and it was this guy talking about the time he spent on message boards and he ended it with so long space cowboy

I don't know if this is shameless promotion, but thanks for making me feel better user

Right here dude

Fucking hell I forgot the image

Epilogue:
two years later and i still havent seen or talked to her
still have the dreams and still hear her voice
the other voices even chime in from time to time
ive grown to become indifferent twords it
i just let this sadness and sense of futility define me
fake smiles when i have to
and drag my worthless body through this broken life

damn user deep shit not to deep but deep enough

...

God, I haven't even been on Sup Forums in at least a year but tonight and the last few days finally drove me back to a feels thread on Sup Forums. I just don't fucking get it guys, I finally started feeling good again and was finally optimistic about the future and whatever it may hold, I just started running and working out again, I'm taking college seriously finally and hell, I'm doing pretty good in it. But fuck me if I thought things would actually go right for once and now I'm probably going to lose my best friend of 8 years and another good one that's been here fore the past 3. I don't even know what the fuck is happening with it. Is it too much to fucking ask that life cut me a break instead of stabbing in the fucking chest.

whats her name user

I feel you man, nothing is worse then old friends drifting away from life, either slowly or instantly

What's worse is that he's been there for 8 years and has always been the only person in my whole life who I could trust with anything, and I learn tonight that he's broken that trust and my god, I didn't think I had anything left to fucking lose, but fucking hell was I wrong.

Corina

Fuck you user im crying

Do you jerk off though?

the sadness killed me years before suicide had a chance

Hey man, at least you have a girlfriend. That's a lot more than I can say.

...

When the fuck did I start crying?

Someobe please screencap this

I had to jump out of the second story of a burning building, My parents died in that house fire. Still came to school. Still made jokes about it.
What's wrong with me?

I'm a 20 y/o transgirl.
I was the kid who used to pick flowers on the baseball field at school.
My stepdad hit me, a lot...
I'm not on hrt yet, should be in a month or two, hopefully.
I've been smoking weed habitually for a year, along with cigarettes, cigars, whatever pills come my way, and recently kratom.
I don't get high anymore, I get less sober. I leave to go visit my boyfriend across the country tomorrow, I'm traveling by bus.
A few days ago, I hit rock bottom. I almost bought a bag of heroin, I was intending to get off halfway, in chicago, and end my life in a peaceful opiate haze.
You see, my boyfriend's suicidal too. He's never had a friend in his life, just a older brother, and well, me. I've talked him out of suicide so many times, and he's done the same. It's one thing to suffer, another thing to suffer alone. The only thing that has been keeping me going is the thought of his face, the light in his beautiful blue-gray eyes... but I'm also going to see the scars on his wrist, and I know about the gun his grandfather left him. The very same one I told him to shoot me with, if he really wants to end it. My terms were that he take me with him.
I don't know if he'll take me up on it. I don't even care. All I know, is that noone should have to be alone. Whatever shit you've been through, someone else has too and maybe they need your love and support. You can be a loner, if that suits you. But I think most don't really choose that path. It falls upon us, and we scorn society and their superficial, infantile ways. It's easy to see the bad.
I love all of you. The saddest people are often the most empathetic, the world needs more people like us. Let your stories be heard, find connections, try new things. Because the meaning of life lies in the experience of it.
So, whatever happens tomorrow...
I hope my scattered words bring you some peace.

...

...

dude you need to suppress this thought process to actually be fine. kinda have the same situation going on, it's like i take 3 steps forwards and the next day 2 steps back. but eventually the progress makes its way. as i hear you it's only been six months since you're out of the hell hole. just keep hanging on my bro

...

...

You know, I'd be dead if I knew for sure that she'd be there waiting for me.

hump de bump

I was kicked out of college,
no Job,
pile of shit sitting on my computer,
Realised that I'm not going to be what my family and friends thought I was going to be.
A huge fucking failure

Oh shit, I got trips, spouse there's that.

>When I look at who I am now,
>I can’t help but feel disappointed.
>I’ve made my bed, and I can’t stand lying in it.
>Yet, here I lie.

>I wish I could change.
>I really do.
>But here and now,
>It’s just too hard.

> “Fake it till you make it”

>The time’s I’ve told myself this…
>I can’t even count any more.
>And I couldn’t be bothered to…

>In the end though,
>I suppose none of this really matters.
>And really, it’s better that it doesn’t.
>Because if I ever got people involved,
>I’d dragging someone else to lie in the bed I made.

Try changing up your schedule. Let some sunshine in, go on walks, listen to upbeat music. Life is too great to be this depressed, I used to feel like you, you know. But you have to be proactive! I believe in you user.

Replace your despair with pure anger for those who hurt you. Worked for me sort of. That, and time.

Don't put it off. Don't say, "I don't feel like it today, I'll do it tomorrow". That'll just keep you in that dark depression. Enjoy the sun and the wind and all the experiences this world has to offer. There are nearly 8,000,000,000 people in this world. You'll find a friend in someone.

does it get better

It does. Then it gets worse. Then it gets even better. Life's happiness is found in that breathe of air we steal while drowning,

Jesus. I can relate with you so hard right now. My childhood best friend, knew him every since I was a baby. I have all my childhood summer memories with him, staying up all night raising Chao on Sonic or playing Animal Crossing, listening to music and trading pokemon. Going on adventures in the woodlands. 25 years strong, we were complete bros, he's the only person I've ever told everything and we hung out 3/7 days every week. Now he's in prison for fucking an 8-year-old. God dammit Josh, what the fuck were you thinking!? My other childhood best friends are all dead or gone now and my high school sweetheart was taken by the bitch known as cancer. I have one old-time friend left, but I still have my brother and sis as well. I have a good 50 years or so of life left and even though I think about the old days constantly, I have to move on...good luck to you man. There are more friends out there for the both of us.

Good luck to you user. I know the world is very rude towards trans people, but in my eyes, as long as the person his/herself is good at heart than that shouldn't matter. Things will get better for you and your boyfriend. Just look towards the future.

...

I feel your pain my brother.
I feel your pain.

...