Tell me Sup Forums, why should I hire you?

Tell me Sup Forums, why should I hire you?

u can hab touch mi penor?

Its me or her
You decide

I can masturbate for hours on end

I have at least 9 fingers left, so that should put me ahead of the curve

Well, your I think I would fit in well with well with your company. I believe in the product, I'm able to convey meaningful information to our customers, to build loyalty and trust and I have a willingness to work hard and get the job done. I would love to start right now, if you'd like me to.

because I have a nigger dick and I'm fucking your wife.

Because my hands arent as monstrously oversized as yours

nigger!

This is a brick laying company. Can you sell our product to other countries?

I got drugs

Because I'm the most unless unemployable neet you would need to be a full on retard to employ. I'm bit of a lazy stoner too.

Splendid. Please expect a call from us in the next 48 hours.

Take note kids, this is how you get hired in the real world.

thanks for the reference, Hank.

Because I'm qualified for the position, have a decent resume, and actually showed up for the interview on-time and dressed properly.

Also, I won't shoot up the place.

I can absolutely do that! We are the best in our industry and our products will provide a lifetime of enjoyment to our clients. It is worth the extra few pennies to transport our building materials, supplies and workforce, at only minimal expense to our customers.

Can we rely on you to shoot up other places? Also, showing up at exactly 8:30am does not mean you are on time. In fact, you should consider showing up at least 15 minutes before your next interview.

Great! We are shipping approximately 15 trillion bricks to Mexico next month and would love for you to lead the sales end of the project. Congratulations!

I was waiting on YOU for the last 15 mins.

Oh, that's easy. Just build a wall with the bricks, then charge Uge taxes on goods coming into the country from Mexico from now on. Profit.

Because i got memes

THAT'S IT. You're hired.

I can cook minute rice in 58 seconds...

Because if you give me amphetamine I can work 24/7 with no breaks for pissing, shitting or eating

Sorry, I don't think you'd be a good fit for us. Right now we're looking for people who can go at least 24 hours without breathing.

>implying I need to breathe
I'm as effective as an Asian, got the dick of a Nigger and the looks of an Aryan man

Sorry, we're only hiring females now, due to our diversity quota.

im white

I'm a faggot, is that good enough?

I know how to be healthy, but dont do it like a normal person

Depends. How well do you duck dick?

I've been doing it for most of my life and I've never failed to make a man cum

That folder in front of you has a lot of your personal information. Hire me and I will be too busy and less motivated to stalk you.

Do you have AIDS?

Harrison, YOU work for ME. now get back out to your register, the drive throughs are piling up.

Not sure, haven't checked myself ever

you shouldn't