Tell us your darkest secrets Sup Forums

Tell us your darkest secrets Sup Forums

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/6KO9QJizRhs
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>Mom finger car in the back of my friend

I'm half beaner

what

I once posted a banana in a ylyl thread

I'm a guy and I've been sucking my younger brother's cock for 15 years.

Christ it must have gone all pruny and turned purple by now

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

1/2

If I get legitimately scared by a monster in a horror movie, book, or vidya, I'll build a DnD character that could kick its ass, and then I feel better. It's like hiring an imaginary bodyguard to protect me from any imaginary threat.

>Fuck you, Babadook. You want me, you gotta get through my Cleric of St. Cuthbert 17/Hierophant 7/UA Paladin PrC 6 first. You epic level, bitch?

It somehow makes me feel better.

I fucked my friend's asian wife while he was passed out on our couch

Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me

2/2

It tastes as good as it did the first time he got hard in my mouth

Is this rear?

...

Back in high school I caught my math and English teacher having sex

WHAT THE FUCK

Was she down with it or did you convince her??

was molested as a 4yr old for many years by my older brother

10/10

i molested my little sister

I shot a man in Reno,just to watch him die, but he fell behind one of those concrete planters they have there with like flowers and shit in them, some sort of uptown beautification scheme or something, but anyway, long story short, I really could not see much.

I cheated to get into college by using someone else's identity

this is why i Sup Forums

How do you get zinc? Also wtf lmfao

Raped my little sister, used a butt plug to stretch her out

10 points to Gryffindor

...

Sort of forced her into it. I wasn't thinking right and I started groping her as a joke. I remember her hitting me and pushing me away but after a while she just stopped. When I told her I was going to fuck her she just nodded and went with it.

I have a rich family that gives me money because they think I'm poor.

Every time they see me, they see me as the "son that can't make his way into the world". They think I'm just a useless web designer that barely scrapes by.

When the truth is, my web company makes around 40k a month from recurring payments. No one has a clue except for my lawyer and my accountant. Both of which signed NDA's.

What the fuck is wrong with you

I've been meeting couples through services like Craigslist or just from clubs I'm a part of and fucking the wives / girlfriends of the parties involved since 2010.

I take a piss in my boss coffee every morning when I get to work , fuck I hate that asshole

Should have asked to join in for some extra credit

Would you do it again?

I cheated on my high school exit exam. Have a degree in MIS, work in IT, and am a CCNP. Yet, there is no way in hell that I could retake and pass the high school exit exam today.

came within 24 hrs of joining the foreign legion, i backed out before going to aubagne. Had options, may go back once only option is killing myself.

I already have. Almost every time I'm over at his place or he's at mine, I sneak off with his wife somewhere. I think he suspect something but doesn't want to say anything.

I knock up my gf's sister during night of her drinking she thinks that her ex did it so she bin bitching at him to take responsibility for it

So he's banging your wife?

That's hot

Does she still resist?

LMFAOOOO

Once I tried to sell an iPhone to a friend of my wife. She configured the Cloud session, and at the end she didnt kept the phone. After some months I turned the phone on again, and I discovered that she already bought another iPhone... and configured the Cloud again... and all the nudes were there.

She is dirty.

kek

Do you guys just go downstairs or something? What if he's not sleeping?

moar

...

Muslin nigger here.
Was 19 had a secret Arab GF whom we used to meet, kiss and caress.
We said no to sex since it's haram.
One day we agree to meet at hotel room.
As usual kissing, touching, she gives me a blowjob, I suck her breasts.
Then take off her pants and spread her legs wide.
"Are you sure?" She mutters.
I ignore her and start eating her tight brown pigmented pussy.
Now she's so horny, seems illogical.
She cannot even talk, she just points at my hard dick to her pussy.
I tell her its illegal in Islam, she insists.
"What is you get pregnant?" She ignores me.
We were both virgins.
I thought my dick was too large for her, couldn't enter.
She holds me and pushes it inside and tells me to move.
It's too painful for her but she insists I continue.
A short while later I cum, inside her.
What a feeling!!
Later that day I bought her an e-pill.
Both of our parents think we're virgins and well mannered Muslims

Is your boss a lawyer?

ayy lmao

Post user

Muslim nigger here.
Was 19 had a secret Arab GF whom we used to meet, kiss and caress.
We said no to sex since it's haram.
One day we agree to meet at a local hotel room.
As usual kissing, touching, she gives me a blowjob, I suck her breasts.
Then I take off her pants and spread her legs wide.
"Are you sure?" She mutters.
I ignore her and start eating her tight brown pigmented pussy.
Now she's so horny, she seems illogical.
She cannot even talk, she just points at my hard dick to her pussy.
I tell her its illegal in Islam, she insists.
"What if you get pregnant?" She ignores me.
We both were virgins.
I thought my dick was too large for her, couldn't enter.
She holds me and pushes it inside and tells me to move.
It's too painful for her but she insists I continue.
After a short while I cum, inside her.
What a feeling!!
Later that day I bought her an e-pill.
No one but the two of us know this.
Both of our parents think we're virgins and well mannered Muslims

No I'm banging his. I don't even have a wife yet.
Don't know if she's resisting but every time I tell her I want to have sex, she always says something like "not this time", "we should stop please", "I don't want to do this anymore" or "we're going to get caught" then she'll just ignore me or push me away from her for a bit until I start getting aggressive with her then she'll come with me. It feels like she wants to have sex but just doesn't want to come off as a cheating wife or something.
Sometimes downstairs, bedroom or in the garage if he's sleeping. Usually when he's not sleeping we don't do it obviously.

fucking lold

ever got close to getting caught yet?

I like traps

Not yet but I think he suspect somethings going on. He had BBQ party in the summer and I told him I was going to drive his wife to the grocery to pick up something. He wanted to come but I told him we would be quick. Drove her to my house instead for sex. Two hours later we came back to the party with just a bottle of ketchup and some coke. He asked us what took so long and I gave him some bullshit answer about a traffic jam. I could tell he was sceptical but he didn't say anything after.

uwotm8

Youre dead user.

Dude two hours for just ketchup? Way to make it so obvious.

I jerked off when i slept next to my mother almost every day

does she make you wear a condom?

Newfags spotted

Probably.
I thought we were going to be quick but we cuddled after the sex too.
Nope.

Post pic

sometimes i bump dying threads

Where else would you finger your friend than in his back?

I'm unhappy but nobody cares. Will suffer for the greater good though. :)

>not realizing the babadook was about domestic abuse
>building a paladin instead of working out your daddy issues

I made a whole post about my darkest secrets

What kind of teacher would their kid be?

BAD FUCKING PASTA. STOP IT!

Your Math teacher was fucking your English teacher, or your Math & English teacher was fucking someone else?

everyone does

please stop samefagging

For all I care you can fuck whomever you want, but why the fuck with your bro's wife? You have to be really desperate or without morals if you fuck a friend's wife.

I have a secret Twitter account where I make fun of broke dudes (I'm a rich spoiled best). @RichJock1

What the fuck!? Not me! My sister would whoop my ass if I laid a finger near her!

...

I always thought it'd be hot to break someones faith through the will of wanting to give in to what you really want.

Hot. What have you done with her so far?

bump

Well it's pretty basic sex so far. Nothing crazy. I've been trying to get her to let me do anal but she's never done that before. Hoping to be her first.

bmps

jerked off on my mom a few times, after her divorce and she was dating, she would come home drunk and pass out sometimes, other times she would bring a guy home and when he left I would jerk to her passed out naked

When I was 16 I took the v of my sister's 11yo best friend and then were fuck buddies for several months after

>friend was dating my younger sister and had talked her into a threesomes or moresome
>she agreed too it he tells me , but she doesnt want to know the guys and will wear a sleepmask
>figure why not and tell him i want in, he was like okay!
>at his place few days later i come over and sitting on the couch is my naked sister with another guy already sucking him
>i am rock hard and take a seat next to her and she starts to stroke me
> she was like ohh nice and started sucking me while other guy got behind her and fucked her
>i didnt last long seeing my little sis suck my dick and holding her head, she swallowed, but continued to suck
>once hard was getting behind her and pushing my dick into her, jesus she was tight, but felt so good too
>we all fucked her that night

...

Nice job Johnny Cash

Checked.

I'm trying to think if it's my wife or not. It's been a while since I passed out on someones couch.

OP = Faggot
YLYL Try this OP=
youtu.be/6KO9QJizRhs

i am pretty boring. also i browse Sup Forums

excitement is over rated

makes sense.

Did your wife look like this?

...

I want my wife to be blackmailed or coerced in to doing depraved sexual acts, that I secretly suggest to her blackmailer. I want her broken until she's nothing but a cum slut.

Lucky bastard

check'd trips

age of sister? how long ago? she like it?

kinda did that with white women i fucked, i secretly videoed them and then got them to fuck my friends, they too afraid of that shit being out on the web