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as I return to my salon

What grown man writes romance novels for teenage girls?

You just know...

Wrong board.

>writes films plots
>has video series
>wrong board

>muh cheerios

OTTOMANS

LE CHEERIO MONGOLIAN MAN

Daniel?

someone post the breakfast excerpt

are you man enough to eat cheerios which have had another man's dick in them, Sup Forums?

>Alexander, what a piece of human Garbage
>Genghis Khan, bretty good; lol, MONGOLS r DA X-CEPSHUN

What the fuck is this

what is going on with his left ear?

just fuck my cereal up

Are you a bad enough dude to prep the bull?

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

That, for those of you who don't know, is an excerpt from The Fault in Our Stars, a book that every teenage girl you know has read.

...

get trash'd newb

just cuck my cheerios up

John Green strikes me as the sort of person who'd enjoy watching his wife have sex with a black man.

At least they weren't having Cheerios

>this is how teenage girls talk because teenage girls can also be real smart!

Is he the cunnyposter?

I truly hate the amount of influence he has on young women.

John Green was a thirsty beta who pined after his 6/10 future wife all throughout college. They went on two dates before she had enough of his cuckoldry and went off to be ploughed mercilessly by varying Chads.

John threw himself into his books and betaness. When the first book sold well and he had a bit of money, guess who suddenly remembered the 'connection' they felt in college?

This is fucking garbage

Go away, John. Genghis Khan was an incredibly awful human being who would make Alexander the Great blush.

"I'm happy if she's happy."
I can hear it.

I never knew that. Puts the cereal thing into a new perspective. He's trying to rationalize marrying a slut to stave off buyer's remorse.

Upvote if you've been rewatching SG-1 and you keep seeing Daniel Jackson when you scroll past this thread!

Does anybody have the excerpt from Looking for Alaska with the gratuitous sex scene?

>tfw every attractive girl I've ever known has been an avid of John Green and related works

Just when I think I'm ready to start pursuing relationships, I remember facts like that and realize that I'm a lost cause.

Just plow them if you can, user.

Most people have shit taste.

The cereal analogy makes more sense now. What a cuck.

>every attractive girl
You deserve your idiots, you are a match and will never find someone intelligent because you're an idiot

Why did le trash man meme die? This is the first time I've seen him in months.

>Most girls are vapid sluts
>You want to find a girl who reads
>Turns out, all girls who read read John Green
Fuck this gay earth.

Who gives a fuck about this shit? Fucking amerifats

There's interviews and the like (I believe he mentions it a few times in his Islamic history lessons) where he goes on about how "lucky" he is that the girl of his dreams ended up with him. Talks about how much he lusted after her in college and how upset he was she got away.

As you noted, trying to rationalize away his wife spending years taking cumshots from Chad.

>Implying attractive girls are intelligent

kek

I chuckled at the dad's response

his books are so inoffensive
you guys will argue over anything

There was a sex scene?

Web Soup was shit, it deserved to be cancelled.

John Green is one of the very few topics - maybe the only one - where all of Sup Forums /lit/ /his/ and Sup Forums are in agreement.

The man's a fucking cuck

They're actually offensively bad. They're blatant teen girl pandering that pretend to be deep and poetic.

In Looking for Alaska, there is a scene where the wimpy beta main character, who resembles John Green in his personality, gets a blowjob from a seductive, yet innocent, Romanian girl who comments on how big his dick is. Then he makes out with another super hot girl immediately after.

I was just about to say that I like how every board agrees that John Green is a laughably awful hack.

Really makes you think

>his books are so inoffensive
But user, isn't art supposed to be offensive? Wasn't art meant to provoke, stir, and transform human thought? Or should we start burning offensive books and replace them with TV walls?

really makes you stink

If the Muzzies take over and start banning Infidel books, I hope they start with John Green's.

And that explains why you hang out here, user

He's like a renaissance man of being terrible.

>Terrible books adapted into terrible films
>Terrible History show
>Terrible Website culture

It's like if Leonardo da Vinci was a retarded person

All of John Green's novels are him self inserting as a teenager, living the youth the he wished he did. He's like if Ernest Hemingway was a complete wimpy faggot.

>getting this blatantly triggered when another user even slightly brings social life into discussion

you people are really fascinating

This, lmao

John Green is one of the most offensive authors of the 21st century. He makes lowest common denominator fluff but he pretends to be a sophisticated intellectual and women eat it up.

>isn't art supposed to be offensive?

Not really. That's just the definition a bunch of avant garde types came up with to justify their crap.

Can somebody explain this cheerios meme?

Desperate rationalization for his wife getting slammed by Chad Chadd n Chaddy for years.

...

underrated post

Here is the BTFO version.

>I enjoy dicks with my cheerios
-John Green

>mfw he was so easily trolled that he wrote a whole blogpost insisting he wasn't a pedophile

Preemptive sauce for curious anons

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