Help. I was cleaning my kitchen, and i heard something suspicious inside one of the cupboards. I was little scared...

Help. I was cleaning my kitchen, and i heard something suspicious inside one of the cupboards. I was little scared, because i was not expecting anyone to be visiting me. Anyway i took my flashlight, because it was dark and my lights weren't working, and carefully opened door of the cupboard but as i opened, my flashlight died on me. I started panincing and waving my hands and...suddenly I was in agonising pain. I passed out and woke up this morning. My pain was very great, but i drank glass o water and checked the cupboard again. What i saw confirmed my greatest fear: a spider web. Then i realized why i passed away: a spider attacked at me that very night. Pic related. Wat do?

Doctor or hospital.

>Then i realized why i passed away

Where in the world do you live to get a bite like that?

cut the finger off before it spreads

Brown Recluse?

Enjoy your necrosis user.

>i heard something suspicious inside one of the cupboards
spider masturbating sounds

post more pics.

oh, and go see a doc. Like now. Now as in right now. Or are you in #murica?

Finger in pooper with timestamp.

>Wat do?

The fuck do you think mate? Go to hospital.

> flashlight died on me
> my light weren't working
> waving my hands
None of this seems remotely believable.

I can't fathom how many newfags there are now a days.
Protip faggots. Ops pic is older than dirt. Been circulating for quite some time. Please for the love of moot and all that's raptor Jesus. LURK MOAR!!!

With great power, comes great responsibility.

this

you passed out, not away, genius

Jam it down your urethra, and take timestamped pic.

Then proceed to knock yourself uo

I lurk twice every month faggot

Knock yourself up*

all that can be done about a spider bite is go to the hospital. I mean I guess you could cut your finger off but Idk if that would even work, especially in the condition of faggot ops pic. Then again most spiders probably cant even get deep enough to get into your blood stream so who knows.

op passed away. dont trust him. he is a skeletal. spam this thread with puddi to defend yourselves against his curse.

Cleaning without lights?

...heard a spider?

They're quite clumsy in the dark after being momentarily blinded with a flashlight.

That's a pic of a burn you got off Google.
Try again.

...

Oh? Good aye, Kiddo. My apologies.

>Then i realized why i passed away

"What do?"....My suggestion would be a creative writing or perhaps a literature class.

>I was cleaning my kitchen in the dark
>I've heard something suspicious inside a cupboard, but I wasn't expecting anyone to be visiting me
>My lights aren't working and my flashlight's batteries have a lifespan of 2 seconds.
>I wave my hands uncontrollably when scared.
>The supposed spider makes a spider-web in a cupboard with minimal possibility of anything edible coming by and/or getting caught in the web. Except idiots with shitty pasta and shitty flashlights.
>The supposed spider has super-reflexes to catch my hand and bite me in the butttickler
>Pass out instantly
>Nobody else is home
>Wasn't expecting anyone
>Was cleaning kitchen in the dark
>Drinking water eases the pain
>Spider moved out of the cupboard while I was dead
>Today after 6 hours of being passed out half of my finger is dead and the other is full of spider-eggs, but actually its just burned as fuck
>Wat do

kill yourself

>heard suspicious spider sounds
>expecting a visitor to be hiding in a cupboard
>flashlight goes out. first instinct: Jazzhands.
>pain in jazzhands. instantly loses conciousness.
And of course
>Then I realized why I passed away

The fugg, user?

Two things are clear.

English is not your first language, and you may very well be mentally retarded.

That's a pic of a cottonmouth bite. Google reverse image search finds it - first pic.

What are the odds that he actually has a snakebite, thinks it's a spider bite, and the spider is just being blamed?

...

sorry to tell you my man ...med fag here and its amputation at this point

how do you know he's not dead?

>deadly spider bite
>"ohnoneedhelp"
>goes on Sup Forums

>be in UK
>get phone call one saturday morning
>grandad has bought a load of rocks (because retired white people)
>delivered in the week and he wants them moving
>show up at his house
>move the rocks from the front to the back
>grandad comments that we couldn't have done that in Australia

Is this true? When you do garden stuff, do you need to check for spiders and snakes and fucking box jellyfish before doing anything?

Yep most definately and the dingos are nuts and dont get me started on the fucking roos man

...