Secrets/Vent/Advice thread because one of these threads have never been posted before!

Secrets/Vent/Advice thread because one of these threads have never been posted before!

How do i tell my homophobic friend I'm gay?

kill yourself

The girl I like is talking with another guy. They aren't dating yet, but it's clear that they like each other. What should I do?

Bump

I'm cheating on my gf with her best friend

Want to go college but I feel that if i do go I won't know what to major in and I'll be just there waisting my time and money, any advice Sup Forums

> get terribly sick at friends house
> shit piss and throw up on his bed when i sleep
> tried to clean my shit underwear in the sink
> get shit clogged in the sink
> never return to the house again

There's a girl I want to fuck and maybe date but she's older than me and I look like a baby bitch.

How much older is she?

2.

2 years older than me*

Not letting a pedo joke setup take place.

Is she seeing some one right now??

>started counterfeiting and drug dealing to pay for college
>emotionally stunted because 3 year emotionally abusive relationship
>nobody understands me as a result, trouble making friends
>best and pretty much only friend had sex with a guy while she knew he was in a relationship. When she told me this I slapped her and left, no longer my best friend that day
>girl I've had a crush on for a year dislikes that I slapped my friend, even though she deserved it, and is actively judging me for it
>Im failing all my classes from the combined stress
>still can't afford the college

The real secret is that I'm considering dropping out, and I've been planning to kill myself on a specific date this year for the last 3 years.

Suck his dick, im sure he will be a lot more willing to listen to you afterward.

Get him drunk, suck his dick, take a pic, tell her he is gay, fuck her while she is rebounding and if she asks why you want to fuck her if your gaycall her a homophobe and fuck her in the ass shawshank style.

Suck her dick as an apology.

Go to college, major in some stupid shit like art appreciation, suck the professors dick for an easy A, and when you graduate, cut your hair in a stupid fashion, put on incredibally expensive skinny jeans and call yourself antifa because your a fag, you homo.

I dont know how a blowjob will help you out with this one, so have some porn instead.

Ok you homos, I want to know how I can repair the relationship between me and my stepdad after I came out as a nigger, help me out here you guis. :(

Put benis of him in butt

>have sex with 3 different dudes
>didn't event like it
>part of me is itching for it
>i have a lovely gf
>already cheated her with a man

I have no fucking clue. See, the thing is, she's sort of a goth loner type from what I can tell. I would imagine we share similar interests since I get that vibe off of her.

I was in the library today when I saw this nice blonde girl. I almost went to her to ask her what local clubs and bars are good to visit, like, to meet new people (girls). But then I thought I'd come off as a creep. I dunno. Something was telling I should've done it.

Ask her for some help getting decent guys, you obviously just need a wingman to help filter out the zeros from the heros

A girl I really like that I think likes me back had recently came back in my life and came on to me a bit but she ended up moving and I don't know if I should seek her out or what.(we go far back)

>be me
>9/10 viet gf

been fucking her 10/10 sister for over a year

>be 9 or 10 I don't remember
>watching a movie with my sister "older than me..15"
>started touching her pussy
>started to finger her
>we never talked about that ever since I am 25 now

That's good way to brake the ice and if she the goth type then she won't mind fucking or dating you as long have the mind set of some she looks up to

You tried to hard you thunderfag

eh.. Try not to be physical with people... Use your words user... Admit that was, Even if this girl did something extremely shitty that was a bit silly... Then focus on yourself before you think about forming relationships. What is the "combined stress" exactly? Relationship woes, Drug dealing etc.. College? Anything else? Anyway try and reduce one of these factors allowing you to focus on the others more... I dunno ... Sorry if that was shitty advice.

I don't think she'd want anything to do with me, I look and am super young.

Anyone?

Looks dont really matter but How old are you?

Info needed first:
Do you know your crush?
Are you close?
Do you know the guy she likes?

Well tell her you like her man

14

My girlfriend is literally perfect in every way and comes from a family that is loaded (family income 400,000+ a year USD). Our lives would be perfect if I married her and would never have to worry about money.....

I don't want to get married to her and I know deep down I'm basically destroying my life but at the same time I'm not doing anything to advance the relationship to marriage.


Oh, I also spit on my toilet paper before I wipe my ass with it

Yes. Kinda. No

I don't want to ruin anything between us if she says that she doesn't

Cliche, but im in love with my best friends girl, and he treats her like she doesnt exist

Dude, real talk. I know it's a big step, but it has to be done. Preparation is key. I'm sure everyone that knows about this tells you the same thing, but I think today I will phrase it differently. If you want to take the big step, you have to make an effort to get used to it. Adjust to change. That way, when you finally wipe with dry toilet paper, you'll be comfortable.

>Do you know her? Yes
>Are you close? Kinda
>Do you know the guy? No

In that case, start developing your relationship with the girl more. Act casual and stoic around her. Seem like you're cool. Make some changes that you think she'd appreciate (but don't go nuts)

Your advice applies to both my secrets


Thanks user

well, u dont deserve her then
(there are ways how to find out if ur friendzoned and stuff, but if u just dont have courage, she will be fucking him soon)

>be me
>wife is solid 9/10, super hot and in late 20's
>fall in love with a little younger 9/10
>both these hotties are amazing, strong women
>new girl wants me to leave my wife
>both these women love me and want to have my children

im a piece of shit

Who do you love more?

Do you really need Sup Forums for this you fucking autist

>Want to go college but I feel that if i do go I won't know what to major in and I'll be just there waisting my time and money, any advice Sup Forums

sure dumbfuck, GO to college, major in general studies until you find something you like.

Meanwhile you will never again be around so many young, single women your own age.

You think you need some special plan to go to college? Is this some kind of low self esteem? Fuck! You sure don't need a master plan to sweep up shit at the power plant or serve fries for a living. You'll just be another unambitious chump.

Goddamn people are stupid.

>hear voices
>see shit
>have delusions
>is depressed
>knows I'm mentally ill, probs skittles
>hasn't told anyone

My (20 years older) cousin's story: wife was in Texas. He moved from Dallas to Louisiana for work, was commuting- wife stayed in Dallas because, nurse with good job. He starts fucking broad in Louisiana. Wife found out. Shit starts going south.

Here's the crazy part. Wife comes to Louisiana. He manages to get both of them in the living room without murder occurring. He then says "I know this is wrong, BUT I LOVE YOU BOTH."

Bahahaha! No, it did not end like a porno. They both bailed on him.

That is one of my favorite family stories to this day. Nothing will top it, I don't think.

Get the younger one to do something extreme to show her commitment. Like sell her house and deposit it into a bank account you own or something. Whether you actually leave your wife is a different story but it's good to keep your word. Just as long as you have a prenup/ post nuptials.

I meant I don't want to ruin anything by doing anything to quick. We just started talking a couple weeks ago and I don't want to rush anything

I plan on walking out on my gf and our apartment in about 30 days. Don't know if I should tell her before or on the day I move all my stuff out. Mostly she's ok but just can't communicate and she's really inconsiderate.

>is 22 now
>dated/married 40 yr old man between ages 19-22
>he left me because of my mental illness
>now live with parents while going to school
>uber depressed
>fucking things up at school and cant study

Troll flat earthers on here
But i really am one.

didn't read, just collected pepe.

My desire to have my wife blackmailed or coerced in to doing depraved sexual acts that I secretly control. Resulting in her breakdown in to a desperate cum slut.

Had a 3some with best friend. Wife wants me to find a woman to watch us Fuck..wants me to go out and Fuck. Subordinate at work fits bill. She's horny. We have played a lot at work when everyone else is gone. I love trying to get her off and teasing her while working. We live in a small town and if anyone knew it would be bad. Both of us are still cool with it..love each other very much and keep having better sex because of our open relationship.

I did degenerate stuff involving an older girl when I was 8-10. She was a year older, but I still feel like a pedo because of it.

DW, you're not a pedo. Not by definition, either. A pedophilic relationship must involve partners who are 4 years apart at most. If SHE was older, that makes HER the pedophile, not you. It's ok, user.

I LIKE WALUIGI UNIRONICALLY

Well, all of it wasn't really willing.

Why is she inconsiderate and can't communicate? Depression, recent serious illness? Or just a horrible person? If you still care make sure you know the reason she acts the way she does. Its not always just a personality characteristic.

I like to look at women with their clothes off.

Meds!!!! They will help and better now than later after you've fucked up your life even more.

Wait a year, get a jorb or travel or whatever. You'll have a better understanding of what you're interested in doing and possibly what skills are in demand than someone that's been in school since they were 5

Monster !!

On which side, yours or hers?

Just got married and I'm slowly learning that I may hate my wife.

Kind of both. She made me do stuff I stole her panties sometimes.

>le degenerate
I know faggots.

Talk to her about it- Don't let it roast you over a fire.

No sweat, man. You've got nothing to worry about. I've done worse anyway

I've had a raw egg in my locker for like four months now. Do I take it out now or allow it to marinate some more? What do I do with it once I take it out?

timestamp or gtfo

What do I do if I hand sex with my lesbian best friend the other night even though she doesn't like dudes but we fucked like porn stars?

Well it's eight thirty and I'm not at school but can't you just trust me not to lie about it? My friend and I have been doing this stuff since freshman year.

gtfo

Legit

...

>be me
>going out with this girl that´s almost legal
>want to wait, but she doesn´t
>really like her, being kinky and stuff
>messing around a lot
>brought a bondage ropes to her
>she tied me up, was supposed to be fun
>she went all the way
>Idontevencareanymore.exe
>loveher.exe
>being manipulative and shit so she loves me back
>comforting her and caring about her so I´m sure she really has those feelings
>Jump to two weeks ago
>I found out she´s hiding something
>Fb messages
>She´s been chatting with two guys, calling them such names as me (sweetheart, bear)
>Pressed on her and her friends to find the truth
>She kissed her ex, twice, once drunk
>Instant break up
>She´s still writing me, I used it to emotionally destroy her, but I´m running out of ideas
>The thing is I still love her, I just want to make her suffer as she made me

Should I take her back? She´s the best I´ve met so far, little chubby, but still

If not, how to destroy her?

i use to give my cousin ass massages.

dear lord that is gorgeous. any more?

i only have one testical...

...and it's not cause the other one didn't descend.

pics of cousin? story how that started?

kinda update of things I forgot to mention, going out for several months, nobody knows about it, not even familly, I´m a dom, that was the only time she tied me

...

But do you actually want more? I could afford to do a dump.

> Survey the area while driving home from work every day.
> Never stop. Never stare. But always be learning her routine. Find out when the bus picks her up and drops her off.
> Find local phone boxes in the area.
> Start beige boxing them late at night/early in the morning when nobody is awake, to find out which line matches the number found in the white pages that matches her address.
> Consistently beige box that number at that box to learn family's plans.
> Find out when she will be home by herself.
> Since it's rural area, neighbors too far away to see/notice anything.
> Knock on door with clipboard and pen and fake census worker id.
> Shoddy fabrication, but good enough to fool a 10yo.
> Ask to speak to her parents. She should know better than to say they aren't home, but she's ten. Stay outside, calm, patient.
> Say, "That's okay. Can you call them for me?"
> She goes inside. She comes back. Funny... The phone doesn't seem to be working.

> Well how 'bout that! Bridged terminals on the phone box down the road saw to that.
> "May I come in? I would like to ask you some questions."
> Friendly. Polite. Clearly if any harm had been meant, would have only had to force way in as soon as she said parents weren't home.
> Be welcomed inside.
> Ask mundane questions about size of family, parents' jobs, school.
> Dad's working on a fix for y2k? How cool!
> Ask about likes, etc. Oh, she has an n64? Has that superman game but doesn't really like it. Ah, too bad.
> Wants a dog, but parents say no? Sorry to hear that.
> "You know, I live just down the road and my dog just had puppies last week. My wife wants to give them away. I know your parents said you can't have one, but would you like to see mine before they are gone?"
> Her face lights up. Of course she would!
> Trust has been gained.

> She gets in the car willingly.
> Drive away.
> It isn't until the car pulls into the "driveway" that she seems confused, suspicious.
> It's actually just a fire trail in the backwoods. She was so busy bobbing her head in tune to N'Sync on Q94 that she didn't get suspicious until it was too late.
> Now comes the knockout punch.
> Her lip is bleeding and she's already unconscious.

> You know what comes next. The brand new expensive digital camcorder will preserve this memory for years to come.
> Her soft pink nipples. Her hairless bug.
> Plow her virgin girlhood. Get it all on tape.
> When she starts to wake, another fist to the face. Finally when finished, just squeeze her little throat until she stops breathing.
> Her breath and heart still and silent, the thrill and adrenaline clouding all else, take a deep breath and calm down. Allow heart rate to slow.

> Drive to the abandoned house. Nobody is around. Prince George county is pretty isolated. The old well is uncovered. Just drop her in.

> No mess. No body to be found.

> A little blood from her girlhood on the blanket and plastic sheet. Those go with her.

> A little blood on the knuckles and the passenger seat.
> Can't take any chances.
> A month later the car is "stolen" and found burned up a few miles away. (Walking home at 3AM is no fun.)
> Didn't want to wait so long, but any sooner while missing girl is on police's radar seems a little too risky.

> A few years later, they tear down that house. They build a storage shed there. The well gets a big blue plastic cap on it.

> This was over a decade and a half ago.
> To this day, nobody knows.

> Except Sup Forums

> Nobody will believe it. Nobody will even try to find out anything else.

sounds like a perfectly normal marriage to me, lol

What do I do if I hand sex with my lesbian best friend the other night even though she doesn't like dudes but we fucked like porn stars?

You repeat. That's what you fucking do.

Also, how'd you manage this? I have a married lesbian co-worker I want to fuck like there's no tomorrow.

>Also, how'd you manage this?

Lying. It's like every neckbeard on Sup Forums has a lesbo friend he fucked.

Stay with wife. Or you or you will regret it.

We've been best friends for five year. Then we gothink user hammered and smoked some weed. And bang. Also both of our gfsite had not put out lately

Also my good sir I am no neckbeard.

Done that before, didn't work out too well.

I keep my sex life a secret from everyone because they wouldn't believe me if I told them.
My friends and family think I'm a virgin because of it

>neckbeard detected

My beard is almost always shave off to showcase my mustache douche

I'm deathly afraid of talking to women because I've been consistently deemed a creep/rapist/stalker by almost all of them since elementary school. My mom really wants grandkids, and it's just not gonna happen.

I was very close to jumping off a bridge after nearly getting expelled from college because a professor thought I cheated on a test.

I'm uniornically really looking forward to the Power Rangers movie. It looks campy and ridiculous and the Pink Ranger is a 10/10. If it wasn't for shit like that and my family, I probably would've killed myself long ago.

I have a less than four inch erection.

When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, trim my toe and finger nails, pop pimples on my face and back, and trim my pubes. He also once took a shower with me when I was 5 and my mother and brother were out of the house.

I have a massive fetish for NFL/NBA cheerleaders and a folder with gigabytes of pictures/videos. It's basically the only thing I masturbate to.

Actual pedophile reporting in. One of many already here, I'm sure.

Willing to have a polite conversation or two, though. I won't mind answering questions for the curious or uninitiated.

Ever touch a kid?
What ages do you like?

Just work hard and become rich to shove it in everyone's faces. Buy yourself your 10/10.

Flunk an ADD test and get yourself aderall for the motivation

No. And it's never going to happen. I doubt I could live with it, and even if I could I wouldn't want to.

8-12.

Hmmmm.... this is promising. I know my lez likes to drink, so I'd have to get close enough to build the kind of friendship where we can get drunk together. Maybe if we can get away from our wives. lol

Prolly not gonna happen tho. I can dream.