I want to join an army, heres my problem:
I'm an Australian with a criminal record so my local army is a no go here at home, but i want to fight so bad I'm willing to move to another country to join an army, ideally the USA but I know its hard to get a greencard for felons there.
Does anyone know of an English speaking country that's not a 3rd world piece of shit that will let a convicted thief into there country to join there military?
I'm deadly serious and I'mm after serious replies
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USA won't take felons in their military at all. French Foreign Legion is your only bet.
you could join the salvation army.
The French Foreign Legion is probably your only option.
I thought there was once a program that gave criminals a choice between joining the army or jail in the USA?
nigga, you not from america, are ya boy? most of the us army and marines are made of felons and gang members, our ozzie friend prolly won't need a green card either. OP why not talk to a US recruiter?
kek
tl;dr. No body cares about your problems. Post something we can fap to.
Yeah, that was a myth during the Vietnam days. Don't you have Google in Australia?
I am in the USA and was in the shitty Marines. They hire strictly niggers and beaners but only with misdemeanors and not even that anymore after Iraq died down.
^This guy is right.
go to gif for that, i literally just looked at 7 pages of porn, not one thread about anything else except war
:( that's what I thought though
So the french let criminals into there army? does that mean i have to learn fucking french?!
Without me googling, can you tell me anymore about this?
What're the details of your felony?
stealing
not if you're on the run from the law. They may have changed it too, so they may not allow felons in either. Give the US military a call, they may make an exception for you. They've let in felons before, they may still, you never know. What is your criminal record, OP?
Nah not on the run, im off probation in 2 weeks
stealing
Stealing what? Circumstances?
Wrong. Use Google.
Yes, they'll teach you French with all the other idiots there from other countries that don't even use A-Z letters, they take felons, just no murders, rapes, or drug crimes. You can be on the run, that is the cornerstone of the Legion.
50k aud, non violent
Try the military enlistment general on /k/, also archive threads there about FFL
I've been reading on wikipedia, it look exactly what i'm after, there is hope yet
thankyou for the suggestion, i'll take a look
The french legion, they'll take just about anyone and erase their past. Problem is, their language is french. They'll teach you, but it still sucks and personally think its the language of gay
Would the French foreign legion take someone with self harm scars if they denied it was self harm?
It sounds like it's right up your alley. There are dozens of videos on youtube about guys from Australia with crimes and interviews with them. It'll suck, remember. Any military is mostly romanticized and you'll wind up hating it. I'm not sure what your end game is, but it won't end well in the Legion. You should seriously consider a trade school.
Mate, I just want to play with guns and kill people, that is my story, im one sad fuk haha
Yes, but don't lie about it. Say they were from when you were very young and you got over it years ago. Lying to the Gestapo during training is a bad idea since they'll see right through it and disenroll you from training.
yeah I agree french is pretty homo
Then you're in luck. Get in shape and book a one-way to France, dude.
Do this faggot
Watch their documentaries
Learn another language
Get deployed in shitholes
They got it all
im legitimately excited
You gotta speak French and learn it fast. They don't accept pussies and if you bitch out you ain't getting into France again: if you succeed you will legally become a frog
Foreign Legion accepts anyone from anywhere. If you can survive 7 + years you become a French citizen. You should be good even if you're a felon.
You will be sent into the shittiest conditions imaginable. Marines are trained to retreat. FFL is trained to fight to the last Legionare.
Ta mere tu chatte
Join the (Toon) army, punch a horse.
Are you sure? I am very serious about this and I would hate to permanently bar myself from the only western military option I have by admitting to something that could disqualify me. I am certain my motivation will carry me through all other areas of training.
>a 3rd world piece of shit
yes, you are
Israel always needs people, they will teach you Hebrew. Also, you get to kill Muslims which is a great plus.
Start learning French. 6/20 words in English originate from French. Start speaking it as quickly as possible and then begin trying to speak for as long as you can without looking at notes. They will kick you out if you don't learn it.
Source: being an Australian who taught themselves French
Convert to islam and fight for ISIS
4 years if in good standing
I love you Sup Forums
this thread has given me a purpose. Joining a gym tomorrow
6/10 my screens fucked my bad
>6/20 words in English originate from French
>6/20 words in English
>6/20 words
>6/20
REDUCE YOUR FRACTIONS YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT
It's what I would do.
If you can't do a chin-up they don't let you into the recruitment office.
Do some hand to hand too. Watch documentaries dude
If you wash out, they don't kick you out of France lol. And the pacing for learning French isn't breakneck.
Isn't it 5 years?
Read: Life in the French Foreign Legion: How to Join and What to Expect When You Get There by Evan McGorman. It's a must read before going.
I'd read more into it, then. Maybe get on FFL forums and ask their opinions first. Everything I've read says that you should be honest about everything except for drug use and things they can't prove. The only thing they'd be worried about is you being depressed. Are you in good shape? If you can run your ass off and hump weight you'll be on their radar for someone they want and scars wouldn't be a big deal. Initial PT seems to be something they look into a lot.
I did faggot
See the post above yours you inconsiderate cunt
This. FFL is known for giving people like you a chance to fight. You will have to learn French, though
I meant if you run away
No third world country? USA is out than.
Also, as a follow up. OP, have you considered the merchant marine? I work on ships and it wouldn't be a bad option for you. Good fucking money, as well.
6/10 is reduced?
>idiot
Gotcha. I've even heard it's not a lifetime ban anymore, believe it or not. Not sure how true it is.
You wouldn't be able to join the American army either. It's much more selective nowadays than it was. You being a foreign citizen would make it difficult and having a criminal record would also disqualify you.
yeah IDF is bad as fuck
Bad meaning shit-tier, I hope you mean.
Lol yeah, holding shit down while be extremely outnumbered and surrounded always. Yeah they are shit.
yeah I don't wan't to be on the next isis beheading video that we all watch
Not to mention jew women constantly leaving tampons around and taking instagram pics. Can't believe the Palestinians haven't rolled them yet.
Canada, if you can call that an army.
When was the last time an Israeli has been killed by ISIS?
>implying sangnigger ISIS ever walk away from getting assraped by the IDF
This is what you will learn from the IDF
en.wikipedia.org
That martial art is too gnarly for MMA. You can't use any of that in the MMA because it's all too gnarly. The IDF is fucking hard.
not what it once was im sad to say. when they stopped being a war machine and became a peace keeping machine they changed a lot.
pulling out of algeria was the nail in the old legions coffin.
Too true. But a lot of their core remains the same, especially with entry requirements. But yeah, back in the day they would take straight up assassins.
Yes this, so go kill Muslims in Israel.
that is truly some old world shit. nothing like that left in the world. Im not even sure what "that" is but it seems like something is missing. the isle of man tt is probably something like what im talking about.
...
you cant use it because its all nut shots and eye pokes. MMA is not to the death dipshit.
Women in the IDF. Check it out.
I am aware faggot. Fighting to actually hurt and killing people is fucking cool. Fighting to win a fight following rules is fucking whack.
MMA is paintball, Krav is real guns.
>problem:
Nigger, that's why most people don't commit crimes. It creates problems for themselves. Stop trying to game the system for once in your life and apply yourself legitimately where you belong. You sound fucked in the head anyway to be so desperate to be a military grunt. Its a shit-tier option for those without much else for most who enlist in the states
>nothing like that left in the world
*western world
Just because we've gone fat and lazy does NOT mean the rest of the world has too. Other nations are hungry for power and have none of our plethora of pussy ass rules.
The sand niggers (and israeli ) are out there every single day training in warfare. Think about that.
The US population is ~3% of the global population. Think about that. Tens of millions fighting every day while we kill ourselves so Walmart stock increases each fiscal year. Priorities user, dont let yourself get fat and lazy. Never become happy, never become complacent.
God, get a life.
Don't listen to these twats, if you have an education of any kind. Or test high on the ASVAB they can/will waiver your record. If you are really serious. Call the 1800 number and talk to a recruiter. No bullshit bro I love Aussie's.
Pretty sure that wasn't the actual military, just a weird boot camp thing. And only for 'troubled teens' not felonious adults.
I am fucked in the head, hence the thread
french foreign legion any one can join
..have you seen how they fight? 'ALLAH WILL GUIDE MY BULLETS"
>holds rifle sideways over a wall without aiming
>refuses to wear helmet
>"allah will choose when i die
The French Foreign Legion is your only bet. You HAVE to know French beforehand. They do NOTHING in English. Fair warning if you make it in you will get your ass kicked hard. They march long and hard singing while they do it. These motherfuckers don't play around.
If you live through it all you have the option for a new identity leaving your criminal past behind. A plus for you OP.
this is why nobody care about Israel. i think its the heat that turns you all nuts.
they teach you french. you dont need to know any more than yes sir.
French foreign legion mate. Take anyone.
You'll only get orders in French so you'll learn fast, but they're the toughest bunch of pricks outside delta or the sasr. Also after a few years of service you automatically get french citizenship.
Look. I am telling you, learn French beforehand. Fuck if they teach you. Don't go in blind. Be prepared to sing. That shit goes 24x7 dude. Music day in and out. They kick your ass physically and then sing their songs to get you mentally. When you are done and you get you cappie blanc you will be a hard bastard.
A big point, you gotta be in top shape and have good teeth. If your teeth are fucked they won't take you. It's a big thing because teeth problems will bring the biggest, strongest fucker to his knees.
That's an easy one bro.
French Foreign Legion.
Bad Ass.
Dont listen to the other faggot who said dont lie. They cant find out about shit like that if you dont tell them.
FFL takes anyone. Like I said in a few earlier posts you best gave your shit together before you sign up.
The french foreign legion is your best chance
They have people from all over the world and english is common within it
Go to /k/ and look for the /MEG/ or Military enlistment General threads, and post there.
You will get better responses.
Write a letter to the governor general/queen asking for a pardon so you can join it
they'll only let you in if a huge war happens and drafting becomes a thing again- which will never happen because they arent that desperate.
op go back to playing cod
i want to join the AF because i'm a 32 year old who just got divorced, lost his job, and have got no prospects in life...
but i can't run 1.5 miles in 12 minutes FUCK MY LIFE
i'm 350 lbs 6'1''
can I do it before i reach the airforce cut off of 38?
xpatnation.com
Fellow Aus user - read this, and ignore the failfags.