NEED HELP Sup Forums

NEED HELP Sup Forums

How do I cut off/destroy my left arm and make it look like an accident?

cut off arm
say it was an accident

>911 guys arrive
>arm is completely cut off
>removed arm is cut up so it can't be reattached
>bloody hatchet lying next to user
"It was an accident! I slipped!"

Drugs are bad OP.

I've been done with those for a while.

"Fall" down the stairs. How hard can that be?

Maybe you need them.

Pay a hobo to push you in front of a slow moving train.

Nah I'll die

Cut the middle man. Save yourself those dollars to pay for health care.

> get chainsaw
> duct tape throttle
> climb tree
> half cut a branch off
> cut arm off

They will just think you were an idiot

I don't have stairs in my house, and even then the plan so far has been to cut it off with a hatchet. How could someone's whole arm come off from falling on a hatchet? Also, I have to somehow make it so they can't reattach it.

Google 'saturday night palsy', won't fall off, but will be fucked

Yeah, if you suck.

>if you die merely from being pushed in front of a train you suck

Kek

>if you're so stupid that you can't skillfully fall in front of a slow moving train so that you only get your arm ripped off, you suck.

yes.

Too risky.

>too stupid

I don't want to risk getting my head crushed. Call me stupid, clumsy or scared. I don't care.

Then get mauled by a pitbull. You'll lose your am and rightfully get a pitbull put down.

>rightfully get a pit bull put down

No need for intrusive backwards politics and bait.

>intrusive

a hard ass nigga like you need a safe space?

If you have your arm in your shirt without putting it through the sleeve, it looks like you don't have one.
Give it a go!

Hatchet will be too slow and you'll pussy out, haven't you ever cut up meat before you stupid nigger. Basically you need something to act as a guillotine and tie off your stump beforehand so if you pass out from pain you won't bleed out. Please please livestream

There's a difference between safe spaces and not wanting people to inject edgy unrelated shit into conversations

You likely won't live. The massive trauma will send you into shock, leaving you unable to properly tourniquet the wound and then you'll bleed out.

So you need a safe space or just a sealed box away from all opinions you don't agree with?

Have you tried using Diet Coke®

Wow, you're really ruled up aren't you? You just want to paint me as some sort of SJW for wanting to stay on topic without intrusive politics

trip and fall and place your shoulder/arm length ways under a transport tire, or jump off something with your arm wedged in real good with some extra weight tied to your feet

>hurr durr ur mad

Is that what idiots resort to when they have no defense?

Anyway, an arm is too high a price to pay for a shit tier pitbull.

enough to break bones and dislocate your shoulder i have to add

>taking the bait this hard

You really don't understand the level of socially retarded, tism ridden autter you're coming across as, do you? You start by needlessly bringing up your opinion on pitbulls out of nowhere, then when I say not to intrude with politics, you shit your pants because now you can call me an SJW because you're 14 and have just discovered the alt right.

I wonder how many pitbulls we can get euthanized from one scenario...

Perhaps there's a fine young gentleman with his "full blood blue nose papered pits" at your local gas station, he's selling their puppies and you run up and kick the box. Momma pit has been abused as a puppy mill and bait dog in fighting rings so she knows not to fight back, but poppa still has his big ol' nuts intact so he's a raging maniac. He breaks off the choker chain and spike collar, tackles you and rips your arm off. All the puppies, being playful and adorable, start wrestling with you, incidentally getting covered in your blood. Police are called, animal control shows up, and by the looks of it, you've been nearly killed. Poppa's gotta die. Momma gotta die just for being at the scene. Puppies covered in your blood gotta die too.

>Jack up your car
>Remove tire
>Grind rotor sharp like a blade
>lay with arm under rotor
>Quickly let the jack down

The weight of the car should cut your arm clean off and look like a simple auto maintenance accident

Ehh, I'd want that cop to get shot for being a racist

It's highly likely that, by virtue of being a cop, that he's* a racist.

Kill him/her/they/x/etc too.

*I am profoundly sorry if I misgendered the cop.

Why?
Backstory please

OP can't stop fapping to anime.