What is the most random place you have masturbated

What is the most random place you have masturbated.

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in a pigeon coop.

into my mouth

into you're mum XDDDD

Leave

in a bathroom halfway up the Eiffel tower

Train in the middle of the morrocan sahara

at a mentaly handicap daycare i worked at. not proud but i was looking at some great porn during my break

When i was like 15 i jerked off in a stall in a busy bathroom of a packed stadium at a Christian youth rock concert.

church bathroom age 13

the bathroom at a homeless shelter while volunteering

On the patio of my summer home near a busy street in Florida at night so I wouldn't be caught.

In the principals office while in trouble

Not necessarily a place, but today I masturbated while on hold with my insurance company. Woman customer service rep came on the line and I continued while speaking to her.

Omfg i hate when people call when im jacking it. I keep jerking sometimes too lol.

Rented a house with my family to go skiing in the winter, found a room where the owners kept their things broke inside and found the boxes where the wifes underwear was and fapped onto it multiple times and also into her shoes. They never found out feelsgoodman

Freshman year I was attending a religious, private high school where I had a job provided by the school. This job was an office job where I had to work and do a 9-5 once a week for some BS resume-building reason.
At this job I had my own desk, however it was tucked away in a far corner of the office space.
Being a horny 14 year old, id beat my dick at my desk while everyone was at lunch. If there were people there during the lunch hour I'd beat my dick in the bathroom.

Subway bathroom. Food court bathroom. Outside while hunting.

When I was a teenager, I jacked off in my mom's garden in the middle of our back yard in the middle of the night.

youtube.com/watch?v=sk17NoHmbP4

Base of one of those really thick pine trees, like so thick it was hard to get in but once in it was like a small hollow space. was an old bike there. came on the seat, it was exhilarating

>be me
>in middle school
>horny 24/7
>masturbated in classes to my female classmates (uniforms were mandatory, girls in skirts)
>nottheweirdstyet.jpg
>went to arcades after school
>killer instinct arcade with Sonya on the side
>dem tits
>dem ass
>sit in between marvel vs capcom machine
>itsout.gif
>ohboy.mpeg
>dude older than me comes to actually play mvc
>cum just before he notices me
>"hey man"
>actnatural.mpeg
>hey
>jizz in hand and sweater covering my legs
>"do you wanna get out"
>no I'm cool
>he knows.midi
>put dick back in pants
>Get up and leave
>walk home with jizz all over my undies
>10/10 would do it again

In the public washroom of a mail distribution center I did not work at.

Just underwater snorkeling in hawaii

in the forest, where I was gathering Funnel Chanterelles. I felt I was part of the nature for a split second.

Bump for weird stories

At the back of a van while my mom was driving

in school toilet
in 2 soviet trucks

Did you get caught?

discord.gg/ShT6EtM

In the showers at Campus Party

In your mom.

...

In the middle of the forest or on a bare rock by some electric poles

Nice! I did that too!

in cinema, bad movie, nealy alone

I've done it in an airplane bathroom, on a train going from Berlin to Prague, and on several tour bus bathrooms

in the backseat of my car at a supermarket

in a forest near a club i go to, abandoned shack

In a car wash, the squeaking machinery turned me on for some reason

People probably thought I was mad because I went through it 3 or 4 times

the roof of my ex girlfriends parents house
I was 15 and we still played truth or dare

balcony of a hotel, while watching girls in the pool below

Hospital bathroom. Worked a shift there and got bored

it's the worst when you are playing porn on you're phone and the cunts keep ringing until you pick up

On a mesa, in New Mexico, on the Navajo Indian reservation. Pretty groovy getting off in the amazing sunny weather!

Lying on the floor of the trunk of my family minivan while we waited to pick some people up at the airport

on the roof of a supermarket, while watching some dude jerk off the backseat of his car

At work
At the time being I worked at a juice bar
I quit since there were too many libtards

The back of my dad's car with my piano teacher sitting in the front seat and me being covered with a sports jacket.

I pulled my dick in the back of my tray sitting on a dead roo whilst everyone went down into the gorge

In the middle of a lake

Most the chumps in this thread will never know the origin of OPs image.

The bed in oncology where they give people chemo. I had access to the room at night and they were comfy

Vatican City restrooms

Was jerking off in a bathroom stall in the locker room at a recreation center.

Was very close to cumming, and all of a sudden this head pops up over the top of the door -- some faggot clued in on the fact that I was fapping.

He stares at my cock and says to me, "Oooh, that's pretty."

Boner kill.

/fap session

In the cabin on a tallship with 15 other people sleeping

Working at Six Flags while at the safety brake on a roller coaster.

Fucking hell, Sup Forums can't into greentext anymore

>Who cares? What difference does the color of the text make?

>it makes all of the difference

> faggot can't even gt

Back seat of car while parents drive
middle of woods while on atv
In abandoned building in PA
In ocean snorkeling
on top of an auto shop I worked at,
airplane bathroom
Hood of my car while pulled on the side of the road
while riding my motorcycle
bunk bed when my brother was on top
in large tent with my brother and cousins sleeping
in a port o John
my back yard in the rain

Crafty. The anti-greentext greentext.

How do?

I worked at a nursing home a few summers ago. I'd usually stay late because my dad came home from work around that time so he'd pick me up. I'd literally jerk off in the storage room, which people would regularly walk through,

Work bathroom, my friends back yard whilst house sitting..thats pretty much it i guess, although one time my dad walked in and i through my dick into my wasteband. The pressure caused me to cum
>Mfw i had vinegar strokes while having a conversation with my dad

By spending too much time on this website

Church bathroom
in the pool with cousin
in tree house with cousin watching
in my garage
on top of my fridge in the kitchen
literally walking room to room in my house closets in all just to Make sure I jerked off in every room before I moved

Evidently.

>school bathroom on an empty floor where no one would enter
>Mervyn's bathroom stall
>on a beach on the Oregon coast in a national reserve

>in the pool with cousin
Greentext?

During my 7th grade pre-algebra class.

sure it's pretty uneventful
>Be me 17,
>At grandparents house with female >cousin and her friend
>All decided to go skinny dipping
>friend goes inside me and cousin only
>both naked I start to Jack off slowly
>she watches for a few minutes

a mall kiosk... shit, I almost forgot about that. i was, idk, 12? And this mall kiosk was selling sports ill swimsuit calendars. They were practically pornography. Being me befor internet I thought I should let the opportunity to bust a royal nut pass me by. So i slipped my mind into my pocket and set sail right there in the middle of a bustling mall. felt good man

in the car while driving

In the office of the gas station I work which I later found out the manager video taped...

University female restroom at 3 a.m. I use to frequent the after hours study hall and search the trash for used pads and tampons so I could smell and taste them whilst I fapped in there.

Since daily cleaning/maintenance wasn't done until 5 a.m., the trash was always available for easy picking.

A bathroom at a dentist's office while waiting for my friends appointment to be done. I came on the wall and stuck toilet paper to it,

In my 4th grade class. Did it under my jacket as I looked at all the cuties.

Wasn't rehired after that year, though.

topkek

> used pads and tampons
> taste them

you're luck of not being arrested , you piece of shit

newfag

fuck

basic training, in my sleeping bag during our mock deployment in a tent full of 40 other dudes. Blew my wad all in it then passed out, woke up for guard duty a couple hrs later.

The back of a police car.

you're the newfag, that was a bait

8th grade field trip in a potable potty. I for some reason didn't make sure door was locked fully. Cute black girl opened the door saw me and it. She just stared with shocked look on her face for a second looked at me in the eyes run off giggling. She never said shit. She had a crush on me ever since that she was my 2nd fuck in high school.

I don't think that water was potable.

>he thinks greentext is about the color
Wew lad

A-HA! it is (YOU) who is the newfag, may friend. you unknowingly fell for my double bait!

Yes correct fucking stupid spell check you understand though

fuck double baits

>About twenty feet up a tree in the woods behind my house
>Backseat of a van during a road trip
>Friend's house after school one day when nobody knew
That's about all I can think of

A military vehicle (a CRG to be specific)

My aunt's funeral

Was on a car ride with my parents when I was 12. I just started rubbing my dick until I came in my shorts.

The smell!?

in the woods near a baseball field while a game was going on

Had a summer job when I was 13 installing granite an tile so I jerked it some old lady's house , weird part is she had a full plate of unseasoned shredded chicken on the bathroom counter!

on a school bus and a commercial bus.
just wiped it on the seats