Great fucking news. I'm finally getting laid this week. I'm 21 years old

Great fucking news. I'm finally getting laid this week. I'm 21 years old.

Give me advice. Any advice.

Kill yourself

This

The dick goes in the vagina, that's all you need to know.

No. The vagina envelops the dick.

OK... I need to know. Cause I see people on here say this a lot.

"I'm going to get laid *at some point in near future*."

How do you know?

WHO THE FUCK PLANS SEX LIKE THAT!?

Like, are you going on a date that has the potential for sex? Doesn't mean you'll get laid, just means your might.

Or are you like buying a prostitute?

Is that it?

Are you that much a loser that you're reducing yourself to paying for sex?

Checkem

it wont happen. you think it is. but t wont

>>I have no friends so I am going to announce it on an anonymous image board

Fuck off. No one cares you loser.

just be confident go hard and fast its not that hard

women like a good fist in their anus

Take his load in the mouth?

just jackhammer the pussy without foreplay, they love the sandpaper feel

This. Also kill yourself. Just end it.

Also this

My thoughts exactly.

Assuming you're not trolling and not paying for it (in which case she'll generally guide you), the main things to remember are:

1. Foreplay. Don't go for gold too soon, kiss her, feel her up gently, lick her, etc. to begin with.

2. It's lower than you think. Close to the anus, but don't accidentally put your dick in her butt. That'll ruin the whole thing.

3. It'll probably be a bad experience unless she's good at dealing with virgins.

just dont be a pussy and make an effort to make her feel good while also making yourself feel good, but those should be synonymous. Look with your hands, start with gentle touches and when you get into it then grab hard

masturbate beforehand so you last longer, speedy

Set her pubic hair on fire, start flaping your arms and yell you dont have enough badges to train me. She will call you for more.

This is really all the help you need.

Pussy just ain't worth the cunts they're attached to. Fucking jerk off and then kill yourself.

Of the hundreds or thousands of threads like these, I wonder how many of them actually get laid.

Never count your chickens before they hatch.

DonĀ“t pay all in advance

dont jerk off beforehand, lol very bad advice. Better to come too soon than not at all.

Try not to think about the possibility that you won't be able to get it up. The smallest seedling of that idea in your mind will ruin everything. Whoops.

Not too close to the event or your penis might an hero

Here's the winning formula:
1. 3-5 mins make out
2. 3-4 mins make out + fingering
3. Go down on her- Tongue and fingers
4. When she's about to cum, put 1 finger up her butt or just apply pressure to the outside of the hole
5. Do step 4 at least 3 times or until she's begging for the D
6. No matter how good or bad the dick is, she'll consider this a good experience and prolly kiss the pussy juice out of your mouth

Already considered.

I haven't fapped in about 3 weeks either. I might cum too soon but getting it up will be no problem. I can essentially boner at will

This work for anyone else?

Go to bed Matt

RELAX

make sure you love her first

Beat your own dick with a hammer

Should I beat her dick with a hammer, too?

There's about 2 solid pieces of advice itt

Everyone seems to have covered foreplay so I'll talk actual sex.

If you're worried about cumming too early then wear a condom IMO (probably should anyway). Deep breaths and slow down for at least 15 seconds if you feel like you're gonna cum.

Try to read her behavior. I know it's tempting to pound that pussy like a champ like you see in all the pornos but she might not want that. Not right away anyway. Try slow strokes at first, then change up speed/depth until you get into a groove and find something she seems to be enjoying.

Everyone says to stimulate the clit (both before and during) but again, pay attention. If she's moaning, breathing heavy, brow getting sweaty, nips getting rock hard, you're doing the right thing. If she tenses up when you hand goes for the clit, she might be a little sensitive at the moment.

tl;dr pay attention to her and respond accordingly.

thanks

Saving this strategy for next vegas trip, thx

this

If u want to keep a women, u have to stick it up her pooper

I got laid at 21 too, OP. That day I realized I was putting the pussy on a pedestal and treated that girl like a whore for 6 months. It was great. I was so anxious the whole time, I lasted for a 3 hour fuck session. She came like 7 times. This included a shower, pussy eating--the whole 9. Good times.

My best advice is don't do what I do and marry the second girl because you'll probably cheat on her and have an itch for Asians and Blazians that you wish you could've scratched.

You're a rambling fool who makes 0 sense

If you eat her pussy, start by nibbling on her thighs and then write the alphabet letter by letter with your tongue. Easy cunnilingus hack, she'll think you have way more tongue game then you really do.

Nips and clit bro, same time. Takes em to heaven. Esp with your dick in em

anyone got a sauce on this?

Used this on several girl . No joke, user speaks the truth.

dancing bear

t. illiterate faggot

word

Oh yeah another easy hack, called "sevens". Let's say you're fingering her, the basic idea is you go shallow 6 times, then deep once. Then shallow five times, and deep twice, then shallow four times, deep three times. see the pattern? It always adds up to seven. Go deep seven times, then shallow once, and back out of the pattern one by one, repeat this a couple times and she'll be begging you to fuck her. Then do it with your cock and she'll be cumming before you get to the third round of seven deep strokes.

Don't over think it and just enjoy it.

So much this, and when you are done with that fucking kill yourself.

all of this except the finger in the butt thing. not all girls are into that and that's a dangerous assumption.

lubricate your bootyhole and relax.