>girlfriend of 7 years stays over at her sister's last nightb/c she had too many drinks to drive >next morning asks me to do the market shopping >I do the shopping, pack it away, start writing up a report that's due for work >girlfriend comes home, tells me she needs to speak with me >tells me that she has feeings for a colleage of hers who she shares an office with (I'm friends with him too, she always used to say how he used to hit on her but she didn't do anything about it) >tells me that she hasn't had feelings for anyone else in the last 7 years we've been together, so doesn't know whether we should be togheter >promises nothing has happened with the other dude and "he doesn't even know I feel that way about him" >says she's unhappy and said in our relationship b/c she feels like i'm depressed and always has to lift my mood up >i'm currently feeling the happiest i've ever felt in my life at the moment >says she needs to "take a break" and give me some time to learn to cope with my own stressors without her >she walked out the door of the home we own together 2 hours ago
I love her unconditionally, I've never laid a finger on her or cheated. I've had some drug & alcohol issues in the past which have now resolved. She always speaks about having children together and our future together.
I never thought this would happen to me.
Adam Morris
sorry dude, that sucks.
Ayden Butler
As we say in Forocoches (spanish forum), T_D_S P_T_S. ( _LL B_TCH_S).
0 contact and sign into the gym
Camden Sullivan
Sounds like she wants to have sex with someone while she's 'taking some time' and then will probably come back when things don't work out - if she has effectively given you a 'we aren't serious anymore, I like this other guy' speech, contact a lawyer immediately get your affairs in order.
Ian Carter
She's a really nice, sweet person.
I can't get angry at her. She's done nothing wrong.
If we break up, the narrative will be "well she did deal with a lot of hard shit for a while", so I'll be the bad one.
Most of our friends are her friends. My close friends are all using heroin now, so I'm had to distance myself from that.
Essentially I'll be left with no home, no relationship, few friends, a low paying job (her higher paying job is helping us stay afloat at the moment), and a pretty shit prospect to find a new partner. She's more attractive than me and and easily picks up guys.
Easton Ortiz
Thanks for the advice. She has stipulated that she wants neither of us seeing other people while we are on a break.
I'm pretty confident she's not interested in having a relationship with this other guy, thankfully.
Grayson Howard
Post pics so we can decide
Jacob Roberts
You're a big guy
Aiden Rodriguez
Look it doesn't matter how long you have known the women or how great you think your relationship is. She's going to fuck this guy. She JUST told you she was going to. Lawyer up and burn her to the ground before she takes you for everything you own
Owen Brooks
reading between the lines here it kind of sounds like she doesn't want YOU seeing other people. but hey i don't know her. anyhow my best advice is don't make friends with your drug addict friends again because access to drugs + accepting culture + emotional turmoil over a breakup = nothing good.
Elijah Hernandez
middle
Kayden Diaz
I really appreciate that
Nolan Wright
yup, there is much treachery deep within all of them, unfortunately. :(
Oliver Murphy
Thank you very setting my realistic expectations. I know she is staying with a couple of christian friends of hers, so I hope that acts as a bit of a holy barrier against any intimate engagement,
Angel Powell
Heres another one
Charles Fisher
>Own home together.
Lawyer up first thing tomorrow. Try to save relationship if you want but lawyer up immediately.
Hudson Cruz
KILL YOURSELF
Leo Hill
Jtrhnbr
Michael Ramirez
Das creepy mang
Dominic Johnson
This. Lawfag here, she's setting the stage for you to lose everything when it comes down to it. As now, you think she needs time alone. That will become 'i had to leve my house, he has so many problems its not my fault i tried'. etc. you are getting fucked slowly, lawyer up asap.
Julian Richardson
Dude, hit the gym and do not contact her during this "break" Then fuck her like she means nothing to you and work to get yourself separated. She's not worth the hassle LOL
Nicholas Lee
already on the gym fix, thanks bro
Elijah Anderson
i think she's pretty... oh well...
Chase Martin
You guys read OP's post, right?
>girlfriend of 7 years >girlfriend
Not wife
Adrian Lewis
Mate that sucks and I feel sorry for you. My best advice, what I would do (have had gf for 7y now as well), is write her how you feel. Explain that you are happy, love her, want her (don't say you need her). Tell her that you are grateful for what she's been doing for you the past seven years and that you truly love her. Tell her that if she needs a bit of distance that's ok although it breaks your heart, but you respect it and you'll be always there for her.
Then take out a paper and make a list. Figure out where I life you are what you need to do to get more balance into the relationship. It's not just money, we all lack some things. For you it might be friends. Find out why and what you can do about it. That'll help you whether she comes back to you or not.
Andrew Jones
Lawyer up immediately and get your shit in order. If nothing comes of this at least you'll have your shit together for the prenup.
>she walked out the door of the home we own together 2 hours ago Nigger did you read?
Ethan Mitchell
Common law marriage in many states, especially with joint ownership of property. It's just like divorce, thankfully no kids.
Austin Bailey
>Own a home together >OWN >a HOME >TOGETHER
Maybe you should learn how to read first?
Brayden Myers
This. Call a lawyer as soon as you can.
Ryan Myers
beta cucklord. dont do this. she already decided, its over. probably because she is the one better off i. life, carrying you both finanvially etc. she will find another she can leech more on. its what women do, juat break it off hard right now, you're past point of no return. you just dont accept it yet.
Matthew Diaz
Trips ring true OP
Cooper Hughes
And what, exactly, do you expect a lawyer to do about that?
We don't know what state OP is from.
Aiden Clark
>says she needs to "take a break" and give me some time to learn to cope with my own stressors without her
Taking a break aka fucking with the other dude
Parker Nguyen
get a kid with her then before it's to late. might even save your relationship.
Wyatt Young
Sorry mate. Your only option is self preservation. Change the locks take custody of the property. If you have joint accounts withdraw all your money. She's bored and blaming you for an excuse to ride this dudes cock. When she comes back begging you better not be a bitch and take her back. Be thankful you had a good run, and thank god you didn't marry her. Or she would be raping you now in the courts.
Robert Torres
If they own a home together and he doesn't get a lawyer it's going to wind up being a home that SHE owns and HE is going to be homeless.
What are you, in high school still?
Austin Sanchez
Oh wow better call a lawyer then so he can uh...well...work that lawyer magic or something!
Isaiah Rodriguez
Nice job pretending to be retarded. Almost had me.
Ryan Foster
The hs inexperience is high in this bread
Zachary Robinson
You should open up the relationship and get a new bro
Easton Walker
You're finished with that part of your life. You must learn from this or die.
William Allen
Yeah that's not how it works. You and I can buy a house together. All it means is that we have a fucking house together. You can't take it from me and I can't take it from you -- not without buying the other out. They're not married. This is just a house that they'll have to figure out what to do with like two grown adults. A lawyer will tell you the same. There's really nothing more a lawyer can do for OP.
Hunter Clark
hope you see the lesson to be learned, DO NOT TRUST THEM - you thought you were all fine and dandy and then BANG need a break you need to fix you etc etc. she is looking for a way out and she found it bruh.
Hudson Rogers
This.
OP I know you wanted coping advice but right now it's vital you preserve yourself first. Call a lawyer and get the house under your custody
Liam Nguyen
Because every two people that have ever bought a house spent exactly the same fair share of money on the house.
Wait, what country do you live in? Maybe it's different where you are.
Ryan Evans
write her a letter that blames her for the breakup. like: i dont understand you leave me for another guy. we just bought a home together. i am faithful and you just want to cheat etc. confirm what she told aboit the colleague. make a file of all this kind of stuff. she basically told you she is in for adultry. it will either save your ass in court later or force her to show her true colors.
Justin Perez
Pakistan
Camden Sullivan
Oh that explains it.
Bentley Gray
>like grown adults The point is women do not negotiate like grown adults and they do fucking crazy shit because they feel like it. If OP doesn't get his shit in order suddenly she can claim a bunch of his stuff and can argue as long as she feels like/can pay the lawyer.
If you're a troll try harder and if you're in high school go to bed.
Julian Walker
No I'm serious. Tell me what you think a lawyer can do for OP. Sue her for walking out of the house she already owns half of? File a motion for, uh... ?? Tell me.
Andrew Walker
bs. The lawyer can make her pay gor all the costs at least if (and it will) the house will have to be sold. or at least get his ass off the mortgage safely. idiot.
Luke Cruz
AND THERE IS NO HARM IN TALKING TO A PROFESSIONAL TO COVER YOUR ASS NIGGA - you'd rather know, right?
Camden Smith
It's over op, don't fall for her games
Liam Wilson
OP's new ex gf's office mate?
Gabriel Torres
To be honest user, my situation was a two year long relationship that ended about 5 months ago.
Basically, if you're living with her, speak to a lawyer as other anons have suggested. And get ready to move on.
Don't drag out the end. Trust me, you'll be happier without her. Nothing better in life than a massive change of you don't let it stress you out and you actually use it to your advantage :)
Best of luck chief
Nolan Turner
They're not married.
Ryder Martin
My friend got broken up recently, his gf of 5 years wanted to go her own way, or in that sense try different guys, he just went cold toward her, now she is back begging, just so you know.
But I would pack my shit and try find another place to stay ASAP and get a lawyer to get as much money as possible from the joint home, find a different job if you must to earn more and improve yourself, show her you can ride alone.
Women always do this, they go for the "next best thing" you just got to show them that the grass isn't greener on the other side, if it is, well then you can still keep your head up high and say you went out with dignity, women has very low dignity toward fellow people.
A break is always "I want to fuck other people" or "this certain person" (aka the college).
She is using the "you're depressed and I have to lift you up" bullshit because it's easier for her to put the blame game on you that you're in fault instead of bluntly tell you she wants to go have sex with someone else.
It's the one who shows the least emotions that wins the game, don't let a woman win user.
Juan Reed
>she can claim a bunch of his stuff
Where are you getting this shit from? In what world do you live in where owning a house with someone means that they can just start taking your stuff? That's not how it works. That's if they were married. If they were married? Yeah. She could go after rehabilitative alimony and such. But they're not married.
Bentley Lee
to put this in context, she's a school teacher, and i'm a psychologist. I think your advice is great, thanks.
Jack Bailey
I'm actually in Australia, not North America
Justin Kelly
>paying a lawyer several thousand dollars to save you the several thousand dollar expenses and fees on closing
Yeah no that makes sense. You're right.
Jeremiah Harris
Well to help op she can't claim community propert since you weren't married. Your shit is your her shit is hers. As far as I know it should be split down the middle
Levi Harris
Find out where this other guy works, call his boss and tell him he's drinking on the job. He will get fired and then your gf won't have feelings for that guy anymore because he won't have a job and will be a looser. You'll get your gf back and then you can be the one to kick her out for being a cunt and cheating
Elijah Roberts
Change the locks and throw her shit out.
Camden Murphy
Well OP, believe it or not you're lucky among other men who just get cheated on and then dumped.
If I were you I'd go and change all the locks in the house, pack her shit in boxes and make a final call to come get her shit. If you both own that house, contact a lawyer and find a way to get half your money back or buy her half if you wanna stay in that house.
Understand that your relationship with her is over, "taking a break" is a way to test your manhood and see if she can get away with fucking random guys while you out up with it. You no longer have a gf at this point. Instead you have a roommate whose actions will only hurt you and emasculate you.
Move on faggot, hit the gym, buy a motorcycle. Or move from that goddamn house all together. Your life isn't over and you will be better off by yourself than some cunt who is whiling to throw away everything for a chance at a relationship with someone who can't even match you.
Good luck
Benjamin Perez
i'm unlikely enough that she's a poor communicator, i'm lucky enough that she's an extremely honest, guilt ridden person. She's (most likely) somebody who would not cheat behind my back b/c the guilt would be overwhelming.
Given my psych training, i've essentially manipulated her into this relationship with me and and rationalised all of my difficult behaviours. I'm afraid my house of cards is beginning to fall.
Christopher Martinez
fuck, i know man
Christian Scott
OP, you have pretty good advice so far. But let me add something.
A "break" is not something a man should accept.
>call lawyer right now. >call gf, ask to see her at a pub to talk to her. >meet her and there you have to act ALPHA, you must force her to make a decision like "do you want to continue, yes or no ?" I insist on the "yes or no" because women like to talk to get away with these kind of decision. >she says no, say ok, hope you'll be happy, blabla, the uncaring usual shit. Since you love her, remember that when you love someone, you're able to let them go for their own happiness. >she says yes. Everything should come back to normal.
John White
Same person keeps posting naive shit like this. Don't fall for the 'be above it' line. Just get lawyer and get what is fair. Think of it like wooden sword in Legend of Zelda, it's dangerous to go alone. Uh, definitely get a lawyer if you're saying shit like this. And stop saying shit like this.
Austin King
We spent equally on the house, and I, in fact, spent slightly more.
Julian Scott
Tell me how you think a lawyer would be able to do any of that. Go on... tell me.
If you feel compelled to start writing something like, "well the lawyer can say that she was the reason for the relationship..." I'm just going to stop you right there. They're not married, and a court won't be interested in their girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. This isn't middle school.
The court will look at it like a business deal, which it essentially is. The outcome would be the same whether you hear it from me or a judge or a lawyer or anyone else: Sell the house or don't, but figure it out.
If you think some judge is going to throw the hammer down and give OP the house or something because his GF was a big meanie... you're wrong.
Adrian Wilson
Here's what you need to do. Set a time and date with her and tell her how, even if it hurts a lot and you love her dearly, you understand and want her to be happy, and at the same time you're gonna use this as a wake up call in order to get your life togheter, and then thank her for putting up with your shit. This way you will look sympathetic in her eye and she wont jew you out of the house, maybe even help you financially until you recover as she makes more money than you. Then, work to improve your value asap. Get rid of the moody shit, improve your looks with gym, clothes etc. Fuck a bunch of sluts in one night stands, get a high paying job. People like you who neglect themselves because the think they have found the one who will accept them no matter what get always hurt in the end, user. In the end people want the best thing they can afford, and you are not that for your gf.
Julian Morales
That's right, we're not married, but also, she could easily find evidence to demonstrate I've had alcohol and drug issues in the past. That could be played enormously to her advantage.
Look, let's just reign it in again, she's not looking to fuck me over.
Kayden Parker
OP, This all comes down to her age.. Idk how old you are, but if you are in mid 20-40 you might be alright with the break. If she's older than 40 and needs a break, she in a mid life crisis and is no longer satisfied with her life as is. Remember the grass isn't greener on the other side. She won't be happier with the other dude, while you will probally find someone more suitable, and that is thankful.
If you want her back, give her the space for this "break". I promise you, she needs it. This will go two ways: Number 1; She's gone. Number 2; She regrets it so badly and your relationship will have a new big fire for a while..
Goodluck
Ian Reyes
So he waits like a beta cuck while she's making up her mind. Bad advice OP.
Carter Ortiz
Me again (samefagging)
Op You will need to keep confident, because if you let your confidence fly, she will be more likely to gtfo.
Parker Powell
Ausfag here.
De facto relationships are considered the same as a couple that are married, as long as you can prove that you've been in the relationship for at least 2 years.
Get legal advice on Monday morning, man. It's the best thing you can do for yourself at the moment. If you're financially troubled, contact your state's Legal Aid service and they can give you some help without paying through the nose.
Good luck man, I hope everything turns out better for you.
Christian Smith
Im saying, that if he wants her back
Christian Sullivan
noted. when we next speak, i'll tell her that i'll be *VERY* disappointed if anything happens b/w her and her office mate on this break. I'll essentially threaten her in a way that would never be able to be proven in court.
Thomas Campbell
Women are truly evil and vile creatures.
Christian Campbell
Honestly, thank you.
Angel Jenkins
Congratulations. You own half a house.
Look, call a lawyer if it makes you feel better. The consultation will be their hourly rate, so ~$160 off the rip. If they're honest with you, they'll tell you that there isn't much they can do for you and it would be best to try and work things out on your own. If they're a shyster, well then have fun paying out the ass for a lawyer who will probably, at best, oversee the sale of the house, thumb through the paperwork quickly, and give you a thumbs up.
Parker Cruz
Maybe stop being a mopy bitch in the relationship.
Camden Gonzalez
Nice, I actually know that he keeps a bottle of whisky under his desk (doesn't drink during day though)
Thomas Taylor
Kek, good one.
Sebastian Bennett
What this guy says, also the fact that you guys own a house together that you both live in is substantial evidence of a committed relationship.
Dominic Torres
thanks man, she's actually staying with friends while i'm living in our house, so she's in the "dog house" so to speak
Noah Lopez
It's shit like this that makes me afraid to commit
Jacob Sullivan
Women are evil who care only about themself. I wouldnt street over it. Fuck her
Jack Martin
This. I just stopped responding to the guy because I'm just convinced he's the Chad that OP's gf is fucking.
Don't say a god damn word to her about this until you get your shit together seriously. If she gets word that you're not planning on supporting her while she bangs other dudes she will immediately try to say she owns everything down to the tp holders in your fucking bathroom.
Jonathan Baker
be grateful you didnt have a kid and had to spend the next 18 years paying fucking child support, and the bitch left you before that happened
she was going to leave you regardless, obviously she was unhappy, better now than later down the line and you both being unhappy
best thing i can say is, dont pretend like she was your life and your key to happiness etc etc and youll be nothing without her, not true, youll be happy without her, and youll move on if you spent the last X years of your life attached at the hip to 1 whore and did nothing else with your life, you've just effectively flushed down years of your life, learn to have interests/hobbies/ enjoy life without a relationship
Xavier Hall
thanks - will action
Jackson Jenkins
we're 29
Thomas White
that's rough, but probably true
lucky we don't have kids
Jayden Morales
What other wonky laws does Australia have? I swear, I would never date if I lived in Australia.
"Yeah he took me to see a movie, even paid for it, and then...here's the kicker, m8... he let me stay the night at his place."
"Jesus that sounds serious! You're practically married! Give this woman half of everything!"
Jaxon Davis
How do you get that from the post?
Christopher Richardson
>I just stopped responding to the guy because I'm just convinced he's the Chad that OP's gf is fucking.
Yeah I'm sure that's the reason you stopped responding.
Nolan Roberts
...
Hunter Perry
why not ask her to marry you and then have kids its what she wants as you said.
Jason Sanchez
Samefag
To add onto what I was saying, getting legal advice doesn't mean that the relationship's over, or that you're planning on calling it quits when she decides what she wants. It just helps give you an idea on what to expect if things go south for you.
Don't start following any of the crazy shit that some of these guys are suggesting because if you fan the flames, chances are, it won't end well for you. Just let her have her break, and be prepared for heartbreak if it ends up that she starts sleeping with the work mate or decides that she thinks it's over.