Worst cinema experiences

Share a story about your worst cinema experience.
Here's mine
>Me and a friend are watching a Jason Statham movie
>In the middle of the film two teens started fighting and the security guards came in to stop the fight.

Most recent.

>Im going to go watch Conjuring 2 by myself for best effect.

Ill do my best to avoid a crowd
>Ill wait a week
>Ill go on a monday
> Ill go early evening/late afternoon
>its rated R

Walk in
>Tweens everywhere

Movie starts:

>Kids peek in walk up stairs
>Usher follows after makes them leave
>five mins later
>the kids sneak back in

>talking
>late screams
>laughing
>celll phones

>going to the movies alone

What kind of fat pig do you have to be to eat fucking stinking nachos at 09:30 in the morning?

>trying to enjoy flick at local cinema bathhouse
>pay 64.95 for ticket that includes singles tax, fees, and tip (great deal)
>some asshole decides to bring his falcon
>movie starts
>stand to give pledge of allegiance
>falcon screeching while flying around theater
>forget where i am in pledge
>cinema usher notices
>calls for head cinema chaplain
>ohfuckimtoast.png
>pledge ends
>designated shooter stands to alert audience
>duck and crawl under seats as people are picked off one by one
>escape with only one bullet wound (got off easy)

M E M E S
E
M
E
S

All the kids are out of school now, bub.

>giving the pledge of allegiance before watching a kinocinema

Do americans really do this?

>watching dark knight rises
>suddenly faggot starts killing people
>needed to gtfo of the theater and had to watch the movie other day in another theater
Fucking sucked man

Went to see 2001 in theaters and on top of cunts chewing popcorn, coughing, talking, laughing, and using their phones through the whole thing this fucking bitch with a tumblr haircut and her nu-male bf started literally having sex in the row in front of me during HAL's death. I am never going to the movies ever again

I had to piss all the way through a movie once, felt like my bladder was going to burst.

Felt real bad.

only for american movies

>go to see neon demon alone
>think i'll be safe because it's a wednesday night and it's a relatively obscure movie
>nemo, warcraft, conjuring 2 all sold out so all the groups of teenagers flock to neon demon
>they giggle through the whole thing
>verbally heckle the screen during the necrophilia
>they laugh throughout the rest of the runtime

i was mad

> I go to see "Unfriended" ironically
>character on screen says "who's there?"
>bitch behind me shouts out "DEEZ NUTS"
>entire theater erupts in laughter and >I'm just sitting there, wanting to fucking kill myself.

>Ill do my best to avoid a crowd
> Ill go early evening/late afternoon

That's your own fault, everybody knows the best time to be alone is early afternoon

Did you complain?

>3D premiers at local cinema
>your regular aliens invade vs teens now in 3D
>sounds good I want to see what is the fuzz about
>arrive a little late
>place is packed
>bad seat
>go to my seat
>Chad and his friends are literally sitting in the entire row
>popcorns everywhere all over the floor
>jackets and scarfs over 3 seats
>ask them to move
>they do
>only few effects in 3D
>sub par movie as expected.
Never again.

>character on screen says "who's there?"
>bitch behind me shouts out "DEEZ NUTS"

Kek, have a little fun user it's not gonna kill you

>see "Unfriended" ironically

Oh

I spilled my popcorn once

I was convinced to pay to go and see Transformers 2 when it came out.

Worst. Experience. Ever.

Also, the audience clapped at the end. And I'm in the UK, so this is no Americlaps situation.

>Go to watch a movie alone
>it's an IMAX theater so the seat backs are pretty tall, that being said I'm a relatively short person
>group of teen girls come in and sit in the row behind me
>lights go dim, movie starts, and the group behind me is munching away on popcorn and Whispering idly about the movie
>about 30 minutes in one of the girls forgets that I'm in the row in front of her (as she probably couldn't even see me) and props her ankle on the upturned armrest / cup holder to my immediate right
>suddenly the top right of my view is occupied by some stranger girl's foot, clad only in a blue flip-flop sandal
>I hunch down lower, uncomfortable, but too much of a pussy to speak up and ask her to move
>spend the rest of the movie distracted every time the girl uses her toes to play with the straps of her flip flop

Ive only ever had one bad experience at the movies, and it was seeing the remake of Evil Dead. In the row behind me there was 2 teenage girls who absolutely refused to shut the fuck up the entire time. Shit like "I saw this in the commercial' and "dont go in there". I was fucking fuming and was shocked no one else said anything. I could tell their boyfriends were embarassed because I heard one try and shut them up.

As the designated shooter for my local cinema, I take time to personally see who isn't doing it and make them my initial targets. It's not state law but I feel it's an unwritten rule in our community.

>Also, the audience clapped at the end. And I'm in the UK, so this is no Americlaps situation.
This is unprecedented

>went to watch x-men apocalypse by myself
>tween couple besides me
>girl don't stop talking and giggling
>they start kissing at some point
I'LL NEVER GO WATCH A MOVIE BY MYSELF AGAIN, NEVER

American here, literally the first time Ive heard this. Seems fucking bizarre

See

>Sit down in the cinema-boat as the water begins filling the theatre
>Check my lotto ticket
>666
>i got choosen as the theatre rapist for the showing
>have to get off the boat
>my turtle, alfred gets to stay on it though
>swim around in the water and finger a couple of people when jumpscares happen
>my popcorn has dried into a solid butter-crystal when movies over

not worth it desu

I know that feel.
Like Jesus Christ how the fuck did I missed on all that.
i am 25 now and pretty much all social activities are ending since there are other things to do.
i wanna kill myself

>want to go see Disney's Chimpazee in theaters
>no friends to see it with
>decide I'll show up to the theater in a gorilla costume so people will think I'm funny and not a weirdo or something
>go to my attic to get my old gorilla costume
>a beam of light shines upon it as if it were meant to be
>brush off the cob webs and decrepit cat turds
>go to put it on
>it's a little small only reaching to about my elbows and knees but I'm already too committed to quit now
>mom drives me to the theater
>no words are spoken just the occasion giggle from me in the passenger seat
>walk into the lobby of the theater on knuckles like a gorilla walks
>my entrance noticeably startles the qt cashier but then just turns into a blank gaze
>"one ticket for chimpanzee"
>"yeah alright anything else, sir?"
>"do you think I'll see my cousin bobo the chimp in this?"
>"Uh I don't know."
>"he he...do gorillas get in free?"
>"..."
>"Do...do you get it? Cause I'm seeing Chimpanzee."
>"But you're a gorilla."
>"...that's right."
>pause
>"would you like anything else, sir?"
>"uh...do you have bananas?"
>she gives me a blank stare
>long silence
>when I get nervous I get gassy so a fart breaks the silence. I don't know if she heard it or not.
>"Enjoy your film, sir."
>didn't get one laugh must be a tough crowd
>walk into the theater in bewilderment
>sit down too embarassed to even pay attention to the film
>fat kid behind me keeps throwing swedish fish in my fur
>40 minutes in get up and throw his box of swedish fish across the theater
>run to the lobby and wait for my mom to pick me up

Some immigrant kids throwing liqourish at everyone else from the back row

>Pic related

>best
>movie
>experience
>ever

At least someone's falcon didn't win. I've had that happen at my kinoma a lot recently and they usually only rape the singles section because it seems so bad but I guess it attracts the birds.

>12 years old
>go to see October Sky with dad
>theater is empty except for a young couple sitting in the far back
>find good seats
>movie starts
>group of teens walk in, two guys and two girls
>oboy here we go
>sit right in front of us
>starts laughing and talking the entire time
>dad asks them to be quiet
>they ignore him
>dad chucks his soda at the tallest guy and tells him "I told you to shut the fuck up."
>guy whirls around like he wants to fight
>dad stands his ground says for the kids to call their dads so he can kick their asses too for raising shitty kids
>they hastily leave and sit far away
>an hour passes and hear nothing
>suddenly hear guy from the top yell at them "Shut the fuck up you little faggots"
>dad gets up and starts walking toward the teens telling me to wait there
>they scramble out while tossing their sodas and popcorn at him, missing him each time
>he follows them out of the theater
>comes back with a new soda and a candy for me
>finish movie and ask him what happened
>says those kids bolted out the theater scared shitless thinking he was chasing them when he just was going to the refreshment stand

Sverigevän?

wow your dad is definitely the coolest

>Go to see The Last Witch Hunter
>Free tickets mind you, I'm not paying for that shit
>20 minutes late this shifty spic who keeps looking around and snorting walks in and sits right next to me
>Reeks of cheap Walmart cologne
>Leaves before Frodo betrays Groot

Im noticing a theme here, teens are fucking cancer for movie experiences.

went to Norway to visit a uni friend last year and she gave me some of these and even had me try an alcoholic version of it....what the fuck is wrong with you people, this is absolutely disgusting.

weirdly i've never had issues with kids, it's always been old people who won't shut the fuck up. maybe it's my area or the kinds of movies i'm seeing.

>go to local cinema to watch Angry Bird
>step inside the lobby as the smell of burning hair and meat hits my nostrils
>usher takes out a knife and slices open my palm after I buy my ticket
>another employee leads me to my seat as I try to keep the blood from spilling everywhere
>endless hallways, an empty seat appearing every minute or so
>it is getting darker and darker. the floor slopes downward. the employee is crying, silently
>"here's your seat, sir"
>I down sit quietly on my stool as she recedes into the inky black
>silence but for her diminishing sobs and maybe a faint drilling(?) through the wall
>ten minutes later another small woman walks into the room. she looks very sick
>she tells me that I'm in her seat
>I show her my ticket and bloody hand
>her face crumbles inward, becoming something pale and wormlike
>I run back through the hallway. going back the way I came yet it still slopes downward. farther down
>the drilling sound is growing louder

didn't even get a refund

>>Go to movies alone
>>"Random screening" from Homeland Secuirity
>>Get an erection during patdown
>>Why did I wear sweatpants?
>>Officer taps my boner with his club.
>>I flich, causing the bag of rainbow sprinkles I was trying to smuggle in (clenched in my ass cheeks) to slide down my leg and spill everywhere.
>>Literally shitting rainbows.
>>Get put on watch list.
>>Flee from theater.
>>Guard at exit tollbooth marks my car with permanent stamp as a Section 2.
>>"Decency Provocateur"
>>FML

1/10

you aren't funny

>not telling the boyfriends to get their cooz in line or they'll get a fucking slap
>being this big of a pussy

Sheesh.

>>trying to enjoy flick at local cinema bathhouse
Your first mistake. Opt in for the pre-film shower & you can avoid those West Hollywood experiences entirely

>>pay 64.95 for ticket that includes singles tax, fees, and tip (great deal)
Got off cheap. Though next time, sign up as a substitute kino shooter. Should the designated shooter not show, you get a 20% discount off of your kino tab + an additional 1% per headshot

>>some asshole decides to bring his falcon
Can't blame him. Kino falcon flat rental has skyrocketed as of late. And the government mandating falcon insurance is basically fascism.

>>movie starts
Pleb. We call it "Kino Commencement"

>>stand to give pledge of allegiance
Only blue-pilled fly-by-night "theaters" require this.

>>falcon screeching while flying around theater
Again, unavoidable. Expect your falcon to guard your tendies with it's life.

>>forget where i am in pledge
>not syncing up with the kino app, only 9.99 on Google Play/iTunes.

>>cinema usher notices
Here's a workaround: if he's black, offer your wife. If he's white, simply say your bull is on his way. They MUST give preferential treatment to all negro americans.

>>calls for head cinema chaplain
You. Are. Fucked.

>>ohfuckimtoast.png
Pretty much, m8

>>pledge ends
>>designated shooter stands to alert audience
Again, amateur hour. The DS should never announce the shooting. It destroys emmersion in the kino experience.

>>duck and crawl under seats as people are picked off one by one
>>escape with only one bullet wound (got off easy)
It's much more enjoyable on laser light show night. They use tracers.

I disagree with user, I thought it was pretty funny.

Is this a greentext theater experience story or has this turned into Nightcall all of a sudaaaaa

*farto*

>go to the movies
>no more crab legs available

Reported for hate speech

This guy might be joking.
You are a disappoint.

>Implying its even worth the effort and that you would have done anything different

Is this the birth of kino SPC

WHY DIDN'T YOU LICK HER TOES YOU FUCKING VIRGIN

...

Here's a classic

>in the telly el grande with the lads
>watching Goblet of Fire for the 8th time that week
>mate pulls out some nandos hot wings and some lemon and herb sauce
>what a tart
>lads start whooping
>"BANTER, OI IT'S BANTER"
>"NEW BANTALOPE AT THE WATERING HOLE BRUV"
>"BANTERSAURUS REX MAAAATE"
>slags to rows down try to give it large
>"oi u cunts keep it down innit"
>"SHUTUP U SLAG"
>"oiiii banter"
>tellyman comes in
>"OI, U LOT, FACK OFF OUT"
>mate pulls out his spoon
>"WHAT U SAYIN NOW BLUD?"
>Armed Police abseil down from the ceiling and tackle him
>"OI U CHEEKY WANKER I HOPE U GOT A LICENSE FOR THAT"
>he doesn't
>"ROITE, UR OFF TO THE SLAMMER"
>american tourist applauds
>one of the lads pulls out a budweiser
>"oi cunts, drop the guns or the bottle gets it"
>muslim behind us shouts that alcohol is haram
>mate gets arrested by sharia police
>down to me and my boy callum
>decide to call it a day and walk home
>get robbed by yung weezy and RD glockz on the way
>mfw asks if I had a cheeky day

Illegals to allowed user, you better start if you dont want trump to kick you

Fucking banana benders.

>necrophilia
Wh-what movie is this now?

...

underrated post

>Go to Vacation with my little sister
>Sitting next to a fat old woman
>She starts talking about how she watches these kind of movies with her own children, how she feels lonely and that i'm a nice guy
>Didnt respond to her at all
>Halfway through the movie she finally stops talking
>"I'll be right back"
>She didn't return

Not too bad

>went to see Mockingjay part 2 or whatever
>gf got the tickets for premiere so that's why, never seen any hunger games
>movie sucked
Other than that, nothing bad never happens. We don't have blacks here, gipsies can't afford it and when teenagers start acting stupid you just slap them.

wow user you missed some prime pussy you fuckang autist

you're a cunt

says it in the first line of the post, genius

>implying

So Sup Forums has always said the best time for a loner to go to the cinema is in the morning/afternoon because screens are empty and there will be no gang of urban youths making fun or judging you for being alone.
One day I was bored and didn't want to stay home since my brother had some friends over, so I picked my shit and went to the cinema for a 2pm screening of Gone Girl.

>get there
>skinny Indian loitering about at the door
>he is staring at me
>I go in to buy my ticket
>he follows me
>enter the screening room
>pick a seat at the very last row
>room is empty, only a few people scattered about
>skinny Indian comes in the same room
>sits right next to me even though there are hundreds of other seats for him to pick
>why.jpg
>film starts, lights dim
>about half an hour in he lets his hand "slip" and touches my dick
>I look to the side
>his pants unzipped
>look around
>there's two guys kissing and groping and not even paying attention to the film a few rows down
>mfw early screenings is nothing but gay cruising
>grab my shit and nope the fuck out of there
>Indian guy looks confused

underrated toast

I just remember my blatter almost exploded as Transformers was ending. Never felt such an urge to piss at the cinema before. Don't know why i didn't just go though, i was a pretty autistic kid

...

this is the funniest thing on the whole website

>Go to see a comedy
>People laugh at all the jokes

Was it Ghostbusters?

>people laugh because their friends laugh
>you can spot fake laughing from a mile away
Normies are weird