Buckle up Sup Forums I have some tard stories for you

Buckle up Sup Forums I have some tard stories for you

>Be me 13yr grill
>Two years ago in the 8th grade
>Theres this fucking tard named Mike in my grade.
>Pure fucking autism
>One day I'm minding my own business and getting my shit from my locker
>Cue autistic tard mating screech
>Here comes fucking Mike, racing down the hall.
>This would be normal except for the fact he's dry humping everyone he could get his grimy tard hands on
>He looks over at me, piercing me with his autistic eyes
>ohfuckno.jpeg
>He screeches and starts sprinting at full tard speed
>I fucking book it to the nearest bathroom
>I hide and suddenly a loud screech emits from the enterance
>I look out and this motherfucker finally was caught by a wandering wrangler.
>This kid had no wrangler of his own
>Never even got one after this.

Want some more Mike Sup Forums?

Tits or GTFO

Less Mike more Tits

Checked them trips

fuck the trips. tit's + timestamp

Tits are easy to come by on Sup Forums... now, a good tard story is rare.

That story sucked.

If in fact it is a good tard story

Blasphemer i hope lord kek kills your mother in her sleep

Dubs of truth have confirmed

wtf as Sup Forums become

Underage banned

So what

Nothing happened

Shit story

POST
NOW

Lets go to Sophomore year
>Mike is fucking obsessed with Minecraft
>Brings a tablet and plays minecraft EVERYWHERE
>Whenever a teacher tries to take his tablet, he screeches like hell is upon us.
>He watches those minecraft videos on full volume in class
>One day, a friend of mine got sick of the tards bullshit obsession.
>Tard is laughing his autistic tard laugh
>Friend asks tard to turn off the video or wear headphones
>Tard screeches and calls friend a nigger
>Shit gets good
>friend closes the tards chromebook (we all have one)
>Tard swing s at my friend, tard misses
>"Diamond Sword GOO!"
>Tard pretends his dick is a sword
>Friend punches him in the stomach
>Tard screeches and flings his dick at friend
>Friend punches Mike in the face and Mike runs away

It was a great day. I have stories from gym class and Mike's last day if you want Sup Forums I know these aren't the best but they get better. It's hard to capture the true beauty of these events

Tell the one where the retard fingered you.

>It's hard to capture the true beauty of these events

Evidently. You are a bad story teller and you should feel bad

>Buckle up

Posts 2 in half an hour

Quick gym class story why the fuck not
>Freshman year
>Playing volleyball, boys VS girls
>Had Mike on the opposite team
>he rubbed his dick all over the ball and threw it at a girls vag
>Fucking bulls-eye

I am aware I'm a bad storyteller Sup Forums I'm trying my best.

I love your stories!!

Try telling stories where something funny actually happens. That's my advice

Trying your best doesn't count here. Come back when you put some thought into your stories.

Shes not going to fuck you no matter how hard you pretend to laugh at her shitty stories. This advice also applies in real life you friendzone dwelling twat

This thread is terrible and your stories are bad

Come back once you put some thought into your comments. Why waste time telling me my things are bad when you can comment on something that's good. Just my advice to you internet dwelling twats

Because you started the shitty thread? As OP you're supposed to invoke a discussion and keep people interested. Don't get butthurt, you're just a bad storyteller. You should ditch the thread and come back when you have written some DETAILED and FUNNY stories. You won't get others tagging in if you can't start it off.

Shut the fuck up bitch.

You haven't pre typed.
Almost nothing happens in your stories.
You post slow as fuck.

You promised us entertainment. "Buckle up". It is up to you to deliver.

You have failed.

Go away and put some fucking effort in before you post again you underage cunt.

If my stories are so bad, why don't you post your own good stories?

hey op ever hear of noatpud

And personally, I was waiting for a savoir to revive your thread you angry cunt.

You made the thread bitch. I'm not here to do your job for you.

read my post you twat

you know the rules and so do i femanon

>you know the rules and so do i

bumping for more mike

She aint attention seeking faggots, yall dont know the rules.
Also op, you are a bad story teller, but I guess one learns trying so go ahead, will read your storys, better than most shit thats posted on this board anyways.

retards who are unable to be normalized after the age of 10 should be taken away by the state and used to further scientific studies in the treatment of diseases. what little they know about their lives is already a living hell, it's not like it would be making things worse for them. fuck if that sounds edgy, but its true.

Miles the tard who dies fuck all.

Unsuccessfully chased op.
Rubbed his dick om a ball and threw it.
Got angry when someone turned his vid off then got punched.

That's it. He's barely a tard.

offer yourself to scientific research then, retarded faggot.

Stfu

you forgot your helmet, white knight

why the hate? i make a valid point.

>yall dont know the rules.

Silence child

>be me
>work inna adolescent psych ward
>new kid (we'll call him Mark) comes in
>know-it-all nurse convices psychiatrist of his symptoms
>Mark is diagnosed with schizo-effective disorder
>begins regimen of intense drugs
>gets water from the pitcher...he calls it the "well of knowledge"
>raps every verbal response, goes on about the illuminati, knowledge, and justice
>ff one week and he is incontinent, bed ridden, and has a fever and sweats.
>Mark removes to hospital for tests and surgery

turns out Mark had a tumor causing his schizo symptoms. Nurse and doctor almost killed him. ER didn't fully medically clear him before admission.

yayy mental healthcare system!

i have other stories

No u

I don't know if I could ever be more autistic than this

>Be me 16 (Softmore)
>Absolute recluse with vidya addiction
>Chick I play vidya with calls me at midnight
>wants to play HuniePop through skype
>Ok whatever
>Sex scene incoming
>She pauses
>HeavyBreathing.jpg
>This chink ok?
>says shes horny
>spaghetti lvl-1
>"You can just go masturbate you know?"
>starts moaning into the mic
>shit didn't mean like that
>calls my name and wants me to talk to her
>spaghetti lvl-up
>"umm what do you want me to say?"
>stops
>says she is going to bed
>call up friend to ask for advice on how to defuse future situations
>friend ends up telling everyone about what happened
>nothing happens

>1 year later (Exactly to the day)
>Be me 17
>still talk to this chick
>she is acting flirty again
>fell for it like a sucka
>brings up the previous year
>redemption time
>asks why I told everyone about it
>SHIT
>bombards me for 2 hours
>write sappy letter to apologize
>friends get a hold of it
>straight tortue from them
>predict me as a future school shooter
>make a play write for it
>make a movie intro for it
>make a theme song for me
>even make a seperate greentext of me
>sucide watchlist at this point

If you really want the letter it might still be on my drive and maybe the song. Haven't talked to all but one since.

Hi user. I see you called someone a "faggot" I'm assuming you meant this jokingly, but I've been mulling this over in my head for several minutes and it does not sit right.

Let me please (re)iterate you on this word. Not only does it aim hatred at a large group of people that I myself and many of my friends are a part of, the word has the power to tear down and undermine a fight that we have been fighting for decades. I don't know where you stand on the issue, but I'm assuming you value your rights to equality as a citizen of this country.

You may think that this is only a word, a mere configuration of letters, but this word is the foundation that keeps LGBT people held in the depths of inequality, while men like yourself toss around hateful slurs in a joking way thinking immaturely that you are immune to hurting anyone. This is not true. Next time you throw this word out (however jokingly and privately you may thing you are using this- in this era NOTHING is ever private), think about those who have struggled for the right to feel safe in their own country.

The word "faggot" creates a hostile environment and makes many LGBT people feel unsafe around those who have enough power in society to use such words. Don't make me feel unsafe. I have a right to my safety. And although I have tremendous pride in being a mature, strong, bisexual woman, it really sucks when your words get in the way of my pride. Thanks for your attention.

i did too. if scientist could without boundrys study the insides of a still alive human being and use him as they need to gather information, they could learn some stuff. but it would be inhuman and maybe painful or harmful to you. its acting in a humane way or in a progressive efficient way, cant be both and the second is rejected by society since the holocaust.

Fuck yeah sounds dope. Quick question, would a mental health technician be able to work there or is that completely different from, say a rehab center?

Tits with timestamp or gtfo

fuck ypu fukkin faggot

did you miss the part where instead of asking for more, we said "tits or GTFO?"

fuuuuck thats rough

alright, sorry i hurt your homossexual feelings, gayman.

this isn't even a story. this is just autistic nonsense strung together to barely even make a complete thought.

also, tits or gtfo

faggot

kek'd hard

is this bait or are you really that much of a newfag?

You're retarded. Op should write a story about you.

our population is already reaching a dangerous surplus, it really isn't that big of a deal to use the least neurotypical and untrainable people for scientific discovery. We already do it with prisoners which is far more unethical than my proposal. We just need to remove the stigma around it. Families with disabled members spend fortunes of their own money and taxpayers money just to sustain their suffering so they don't have to feel guilty about letting them pass on.

Underage lol

that doesn't change the rules.

cry about it faggot.

Newfag die

malthusian theory has been proven wrong a long time ago, and research suggests that we are reaching a limit to the population, and at that point the population will stop growing around 2050 i believe, you can look up graphs about it.
i never said that its humane to use prisioners for scientifc research.
i dont believe any family would like to have their child taken away to have her body opened up by scientist that will explore him until he dies, be the child mentally unabled or not.
im not saying its not valid, just not humane. the holocaust was valid as fuck, man wanted to create paradise for his ethnicity, but he tried doing so through genocide and war.

humanity and ethics are just a series of norms that society agrees on until a given situation arises for them to be questioned. When the population of mentally ineffective people becomes a blight on society, a change needs to be made in order to not be taken down. Mercy has given way to pity by virtue of guilt. Imagine what we could do if we were to rid ourselves of that illusion of guilt?

yea you could work there. I was basically an orderly but ran group activities and therapy (self esteem n coping skills n shit)

>11yo violent autistic "matt"
>beady little black eyes
>1:1 supervision, confined to room
>constantly biting, kicking, punching, and headbutting
hepunchedmynuts.jpg
>was there for almost 3 months waiting for long term placement (usual stay is 2 weeks)
>3 months of overtime, mandated double shifts, and coming in on day off...$20/hr fine by me
>one morning I walk into utter chaos..
>Matt has been placed in restraint bed for millionth time (bare ass naked with sheet over pubic are)
>he had walked out of his room ~20mins before I arrived, stripped, pissed all over his scrubs, and ran after staff and other patients twirling his piss pats in the air.
>bro-tier recreational therapist took a hit to the face to stop him from chasing a girl into her room

humanity is all that differenciates us from other animals. most definetly our species would become extremely advanced technologicaly and scientificaly, yet still purposeless, just running faster without direction towards nothing.

and yet here we are. you and i. two strangers debating on a hentai forum, in a tard stories thread. Humanity hasn't done anything but cloud our potential for power. Who said it needs a direction? The nature of our being is enough to direct us. It got us out of caves and into tribes. tribes into kingdoms, kingdoms into nations, nations into coalitions. With enough progress we could find our way into the stars. All that's asked of us is to seek power and discard waste.

Debate where you want. You 2 freaks should shut he fuck up your opinions don't matter and you won't change shit.

you're both fags.

with timestamp pics

Shit that never happened.

i see where you come from, and you are not wrong, but you dont get to the bottom of it. why would you desire power? why would you desire to be among the stars in the beauty that is space, if you no longer are able to appreciate it, as emotion is disposable? science is great, but extreme progressiveness is self destruction, its walking so you can walk more, and do that until you no longer have legs but reach the best walking spot.

Fuck off cunt

sure will my man, love you and cya. just remember your existence is nothing.

No, this is the worst most unfunny tard story I've ever heard. You say the work fuck way too much while it adds nothing to the story.

I know it's been pointed out, but my God you are so awful at writing, OP. And there's zero substance to your shitty stories.

Also, excessively swearing will not make you seem older or cooler. This is obviously written by a public school 14 year old.

>Be me 13yr grill
>Two years ago in the 8th grade

So you're 15 now?

underageb&