Buckle up Sup Forums I have some tard stories for you
>Be me 13yr grill >Two years ago in the 8th grade >Theres this fucking tard named Mike in my grade. >Pure fucking autism >One day I'm minding my own business and getting my shit from my locker >Cue autistic tard mating screech >Here comes fucking Mike, racing down the hall. >This would be normal except for the fact he's dry humping everyone he could get his grimy tard hands on >He looks over at me, piercing me with his autistic eyes >ohfuckno.jpeg >He screeches and starts sprinting at full tard speed >I fucking book it to the nearest bathroom >I hide and suddenly a loud screech emits from the enterance >I look out and this motherfucker finally was caught by a wandering wrangler. >This kid had no wrangler of his own >Never even got one after this.
Want some more Mike Sup Forums?
Sebastian Hill
Tits or GTFO
Dylan Garcia
Less Mike more Tits
Ethan Morales
Checked them trips
Eli Taylor
fuck the trips. tit's + timestamp
Hunter Garcia
Tits are easy to come by on Sup Forums... now, a good tard story is rare.
Tyler Perez
That story sucked.
Camden Rivera
If in fact it is a good tard story
Jason Thomas
Blasphemer i hope lord kek kills your mother in her sleep
Colton Bell
Dubs of truth have confirmed
Christian Edwards
wtf as Sup Forums become
Ayden Lee
Underage banned
Carter Scott
So what
Nothing happened
Shit story
Jeremiah Cox
POST NOW
Gavin Walker
Lets go to Sophomore year >Mike is fucking obsessed with Minecraft >Brings a tablet and plays minecraft EVERYWHERE >Whenever a teacher tries to take his tablet, he screeches like hell is upon us. >He watches those minecraft videos on full volume in class >One day, a friend of mine got sick of the tards bullshit obsession. >Tard is laughing his autistic tard laugh >Friend asks tard to turn off the video or wear headphones >Tard screeches and calls friend a nigger >Shit gets good >friend closes the tards chromebook (we all have one) >Tard swing s at my friend, tard misses >"Diamond Sword GOO!" >Tard pretends his dick is a sword >Friend punches him in the stomach >Tard screeches and flings his dick at friend >Friend punches Mike in the face and Mike runs away
It was a great day. I have stories from gym class and Mike's last day if you want Sup Forums I know these aren't the best but they get better. It's hard to capture the true beauty of these events
Colton Roberts
Tell the one where the retard fingered you.
Andrew Williams
>It's hard to capture the true beauty of these events
Evidently. You are a bad story teller and you should feel bad
Jose Morris
>Buckle up
Posts 2 in half an hour
Cameron Wright
Quick gym class story why the fuck not >Freshman year >Playing volleyball, boys VS girls >Had Mike on the opposite team >he rubbed his dick all over the ball and threw it at a girls vag >Fucking bulls-eye
I am aware I'm a bad storyteller Sup Forums I'm trying my best.
Jacob Hall
I love your stories!!
Joseph Russell
Try telling stories where something funny actually happens. That's my advice
Luis Long
Trying your best doesn't count here. Come back when you put some thought into your stories.
Daniel Rivera
Shes not going to fuck you no matter how hard you pretend to laugh at her shitty stories. This advice also applies in real life you friendzone dwelling twat
Gabriel Bell
This thread is terrible and your stories are bad
John Green
Come back once you put some thought into your comments. Why waste time telling me my things are bad when you can comment on something that's good. Just my advice to you internet dwelling twats
Levi Thompson
Because you started the shitty thread? As OP you're supposed to invoke a discussion and keep people interested. Don't get butthurt, you're just a bad storyteller. You should ditch the thread and come back when you have written some DETAILED and FUNNY stories. You won't get others tagging in if you can't start it off.
Isaac Adams
Shut the fuck up bitch.
You haven't pre typed. Almost nothing happens in your stories. You post slow as fuck.
You promised us entertainment. "Buckle up". It is up to you to deliver.
You have failed.
Go away and put some fucking effort in before you post again you underage cunt.
Gabriel Anderson
If my stories are so bad, why don't you post your own good stories?
Brandon Turner
hey op ever hear of noatpud
Jeremiah Ortiz
And personally, I was waiting for a savoir to revive your thread you angry cunt.
Wyatt Campbell
You made the thread bitch. I'm not here to do your job for you.
Anthony Ward
read my post you twat
Jonathan Clark
you know the rules and so do i femanon
Jackson Clark
>you know the rules and so do i
Jayden Jackson
bumping for more mike
Dylan Fisher
She aint attention seeking faggots, yall dont know the rules. Also op, you are a bad story teller, but I guess one learns trying so go ahead, will read your storys, better than most shit thats posted on this board anyways.
Henry Peterson
retards who are unable to be normalized after the age of 10 should be taken away by the state and used to further scientific studies in the treatment of diseases. what little they know about their lives is already a living hell, it's not like it would be making things worse for them. fuck if that sounds edgy, but its true.
Tyler Jenkins
Miles the tard who dies fuck all.
Unsuccessfully chased op. Rubbed his dick om a ball and threw it. Got angry when someone turned his vid off then got punched.
That's it. He's barely a tard.
Xavier Cox
offer yourself to scientific research then, retarded faggot.
Andrew Johnson
Stfu
Logan Richardson
you forgot your helmet, white knight
Nathan Thompson
why the hate? i make a valid point.
Levi Evans
>yall dont know the rules.
Silence child
Nicholas Thompson
>be me >work inna adolescent psych ward >new kid (we'll call him Mark) comes in >know-it-all nurse convices psychiatrist of his symptoms >Mark is diagnosed with schizo-effective disorder >begins regimen of intense drugs >gets water from the pitcher...he calls it the "well of knowledge" >raps every verbal response, goes on about the illuminati, knowledge, and justice >ff one week and he is incontinent, bed ridden, and has a fever and sweats. >Mark removes to hospital for tests and surgery
turns out Mark had a tumor causing his schizo symptoms. Nurse and doctor almost killed him. ER didn't fully medically clear him before admission.
yayy mental healthcare system!
i have other stories
Gavin Campbell
No u
Angel Jones
I don't know if I could ever be more autistic than this
>Be me 16 (Softmore) >Absolute recluse with vidya addiction >Chick I play vidya with calls me at midnight >wants to play HuniePop through skype >Ok whatever >Sex scene incoming >She pauses >HeavyBreathing.jpg >This chink ok? >says shes horny >spaghetti lvl-1 >"You can just go masturbate you know?" >starts moaning into the mic >shit didn't mean like that >calls my name and wants me to talk to her >spaghetti lvl-up >"umm what do you want me to say?" >stops >says she is going to bed >call up friend to ask for advice on how to defuse future situations >friend ends up telling everyone about what happened >nothing happens
>1 year later (Exactly to the day) >Be me 17 >still talk to this chick >she is acting flirty again >fell for it like a sucka >brings up the previous year >redemption time >asks why I told everyone about it >SHIT >bombards me for 2 hours >write sappy letter to apologize >friends get a hold of it >straight tortue from them >predict me as a future school shooter >make a play write for it >make a movie intro for it >make a theme song for me >even make a seperate greentext of me >sucide watchlist at this point
If you really want the letter it might still be on my drive and maybe the song. Haven't talked to all but one since.
Aiden Sullivan
Hi user. I see you called someone a "faggot" I'm assuming you meant this jokingly, but I've been mulling this over in my head for several minutes and it does not sit right.
Let me please (re)iterate you on this word. Not only does it aim hatred at a large group of people that I myself and many of my friends are a part of, the word has the power to tear down and undermine a fight that we have been fighting for decades. I don't know where you stand on the issue, but I'm assuming you value your rights to equality as a citizen of this country.
You may think that this is only a word, a mere configuration of letters, but this word is the foundation that keeps LGBT people held in the depths of inequality, while men like yourself toss around hateful slurs in a joking way thinking immaturely that you are immune to hurting anyone. This is not true. Next time you throw this word out (however jokingly and privately you may thing you are using this- in this era NOTHING is ever private), think about those who have struggled for the right to feel safe in their own country.
The word "faggot" creates a hostile environment and makes many LGBT people feel unsafe around those who have enough power in society to use such words. Don't make me feel unsafe. I have a right to my safety. And although I have tremendous pride in being a mature, strong, bisexual woman, it really sucks when your words get in the way of my pride. Thanks for your attention.
Connor Bell
i did too. if scientist could without boundrys study the insides of a still alive human being and use him as they need to gather information, they could learn some stuff. but it would be inhuman and maybe painful or harmful to you. its acting in a humane way or in a progressive efficient way, cant be both and the second is rejected by society since the holocaust.
Luke Watson
Fuck yeah sounds dope. Quick question, would a mental health technician be able to work there or is that completely different from, say a rehab center?
Noah Diaz
Tits with timestamp or gtfo
Robert Perry
fuck ypu fukkin faggot
Nathaniel Roberts
did you miss the part where instead of asking for more, we said "tits or GTFO?"
Andrew Clark
fuuuuck thats rough
Nathaniel Ramirez
alright, sorry i hurt your homossexual feelings, gayman.
Angel Price
this isn't even a story. this is just autistic nonsense strung together to barely even make a complete thought.
also, tits or gtfo
William Kelly
faggot
Zachary Edwards
kek'd hard
Justin Mitchell
is this bait or are you really that much of a newfag?
Carter Parker
You're retarded. Op should write a story about you.
Logan Lopez
our population is already reaching a dangerous surplus, it really isn't that big of a deal to use the least neurotypical and untrainable people for scientific discovery. We already do it with prisoners which is far more unethical than my proposal. We just need to remove the stigma around it. Families with disabled members spend fortunes of their own money and taxpayers money just to sustain their suffering so they don't have to feel guilty about letting them pass on.
Nathaniel Robinson
Underage lol
Jace Morris
that doesn't change the rules.
Jonathan Reed
cry about it faggot.
Logan Nelson
Newfag die
Leo Taylor
malthusian theory has been proven wrong a long time ago, and research suggests that we are reaching a limit to the population, and at that point the population will stop growing around 2050 i believe, you can look up graphs about it. i never said that its humane to use prisioners for scientifc research. i dont believe any family would like to have their child taken away to have her body opened up by scientist that will explore him until he dies, be the child mentally unabled or not. im not saying its not valid, just not humane. the holocaust was valid as fuck, man wanted to create paradise for his ethnicity, but he tried doing so through genocide and war.
Grayson Davis
humanity and ethics are just a series of norms that society agrees on until a given situation arises for them to be questioned. When the population of mentally ineffective people becomes a blight on society, a change needs to be made in order to not be taken down. Mercy has given way to pity by virtue of guilt. Imagine what we could do if we were to rid ourselves of that illusion of guilt?
Sebastian Long
yea you could work there. I was basically an orderly but ran group activities and therapy (self esteem n coping skills n shit)
>11yo violent autistic "matt" >beady little black eyes >1:1 supervision, confined to room >constantly biting, kicking, punching, and headbutting hepunchedmynuts.jpg >was there for almost 3 months waiting for long term placement (usual stay is 2 weeks) >3 months of overtime, mandated double shifts, and coming in on day off...$20/hr fine by me >one morning I walk into utter chaos.. >Matt has been placed in restraint bed for millionth time (bare ass naked with sheet over pubic are) >he had walked out of his room ~20mins before I arrived, stripped, pissed all over his scrubs, and ran after staff and other patients twirling his piss pats in the air. >bro-tier recreational therapist took a hit to the face to stop him from chasing a girl into her room
Jacob Morales
humanity is all that differenciates us from other animals. most definetly our species would become extremely advanced technologicaly and scientificaly, yet still purposeless, just running faster without direction towards nothing.
Tyler Johnson
and yet here we are. you and i. two strangers debating on a hentai forum, in a tard stories thread. Humanity hasn't done anything but cloud our potential for power. Who said it needs a direction? The nature of our being is enough to direct us. It got us out of caves and into tribes. tribes into kingdoms, kingdoms into nations, nations into coalitions. With enough progress we could find our way into the stars. All that's asked of us is to seek power and discard waste.
Jack Campbell
Debate where you want. You 2 freaks should shut he fuck up your opinions don't matter and you won't change shit.
Samuel Evans
you're both fags.
Hunter Thompson
with timestamp pics
Angel Smith
Shit that never happened.
Robert Gonzalez
i see where you come from, and you are not wrong, but you dont get to the bottom of it. why would you desire power? why would you desire to be among the stars in the beauty that is space, if you no longer are able to appreciate it, as emotion is disposable? science is great, but extreme progressiveness is self destruction, its walking so you can walk more, and do that until you no longer have legs but reach the best walking spot.
Liam Rodriguez
Fuck off cunt
Zachary Wilson
sure will my man, love you and cya. just remember your existence is nothing.
Christopher Watson
No, this is the worst most unfunny tard story I've ever heard. You say the work fuck way too much while it adds nothing to the story.
Dominic Hill
I know it's been pointed out, but my God you are so awful at writing, OP. And there's zero substance to your shitty stories.
Also, excessively swearing will not make you seem older or cooler. This is obviously written by a public school 14 year old.