Sup Forums, I fucked up

Sup Forums, I fucked up.

I'm getting drug tested on Tuesday, at 7am.

I smoked yesterday.

Do I have a chance? Help me beat it Sup Forumsros

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_drug_testing
twitter.com/AnonBabble

drink water!!!!, drink cup after cup dude. man the more you drink, the more you piss, the more you piss the more you drain you system

Well u can try drinking a lot of water to flush your system???? idk just a guess. try youtubing it or something. or if worse comes to worse borrow a friends pee (I'm serious, depends on how dire the situation)

How often do you smoke? Last time you consumed an edible?

...

If it's a urine test, have your friend pee in a bottle and put it in something smaller, then carry it in your boxers. That's what I'd do... Never had to cheat a drug test tho.

get a pill container, fill your friends piss in it. Tape it to your leg, wear sweatpants. they most likely wont be in the room.

most employers don't give a shit about pot on a drug test.

No. No way to piss clean. You might be able to beat it with clean piss in a pill bottle tucked in your nuts. Its gotta be warm or they gonna know it aint yours, and you gotta piss in the toilet like you filled the cup and finished in the toilet.

But no, probably not gonna beat it. Why are you being drug tested? Did you fuck up at work? Many bosses, if you're a good employee, will let you slide if you're honest with them and tell them you will fail before you take it. But thats if you have a cool boss and are normally not a fuck up.

In the future, when your well being relies on not smoking weed, you just shouldnt smoke weed.

You can't take a drug t3st if you an hero op

>don't smoke

Pretty much all day before you go in drink water and piss and then take some B12 about an hour before you go in.

just buy some drugs to clean your kidney. That shit works.
Worst case scenario be a faggot, do nothing, they might no see it

Once, maybe twice a week. Edible was like months ago

There's no way that's gonna work, they're watching the entire time

I already have a bottle of niacin, a gallon of water, and a gallon of cranberry juice.

If there are head shops in your town get fake pee. Or get someone to pee in a condom and strap that shit to your gooch. Make sure it's against your body for two hours before you use it, needs to be your body temperature. Then just poke a hole in it and put it into the cup.

If they watch you pee then you may be in trouble. There are drinks that mask your pee for a period of time but they only fool the cheap piss tests.

If you're overweight don't expect to flush it anytime fast. If you're skinny and don't smoke a ton just run a lot and drink tons of water. THC stores in your fat cells, burn those cells up. Don't exercise the day of. Drink lots of water, but if you drink too much it raises suspicions. Good luck bro

My plan is to drink a huge glass of water (2 pints) every hour, on the hour. Tomorrow morning wake up early, get one of those expensive detox things, and alternate drinking water / running.

I know I don't have the best chance, but whatever helps right?

Quick!
Shoot some heroin!
They won't find a hint of weed in your system!

>life hacks

>have stoner friend pee in bottle for you
You'll be home free, OP.

If you only smoke once or twice a week and no edibles in the past month you should be fine, drink a lot of water and green tea. If you are super worried you can take something to fuck up the test and you'll get inconclusive results.

Good luck man. Can you tell me who you gotta piss for that they're gonna watch you? I've only had that happen once.

Best bet is to drink a gallon of cranberry juice and a shitload of green tea so that you keep peeing all day. It'll dilute the sample and might not pick it up.

I play a varsity sport at a D1 college. They take it pretty seriously

You need to try and dilute what is coming out of your body. They are looking for 50ng/ml of THC, as long as your piss has less than that per ml you are good. Do this the day of and you will pass.

>Pop 4 asprin to thin out your system
>Vitamin B to make pee yellow
>Creatine supliments or just eat a bunch of steak for two days before
>1.35 Gallons of water starting 3 hours before.
>Piss before you take the real test to flush blatter

As long as it is not a DoD drug test, which is like 15ng/ml you will pass.

Drink a bottle of pomegranate juice

Best luck man. I got no secret tips, but it cant hurt to pound the water and juice.

protip: go to your local smoke shop, ask for a same day "detox" drink. drink a shit ton of water for the next few days, then drink that an hour or two before your test. and also make sure to piss three or four times after drinking the shit to make sure you get all the regular piss out of you

t. someone who has been in your position

also the drink will be expensive af, but it's worth it

This, only this. Fake pee is the way to go. Find a smoke shop and buy two of the same so you can practice.

Ok. Have you heard of surejel? Colorless flavorless jelly.. pour a packet in a milkjug of water. Shake it . Drink it all .. Pee untill it's clear. Should take 4-5 pees.. Then go take your test.. It doesnt work if you eat jelo alot... But if you never eat jello like myself.. It costs the lineing of your digestive track and keeps the stuff they are testing for in your body... It's worked for me in the past. I keep surejeg in th e pantry and in my car just in case... But it only works for a limmited time... And ide wait 90days before trying to use this trick another time

Where can i buy this? i'm gonna go ahead and try everything possible.

just be careful not too drink too much and give yourself water intoxication

Any grocery store.. Its on the jello shelf.. I dont mix it with anything else.. I would say buy a wallmart drugtest and test it out. But its a onetime use kinda thing

Samefag here
I Also know people who swear by niason and waterpills but I dont trust it..

Get some certo, my nigga. Mix that shut with gatorade and drink. Piss twice before the test, and the 3rd piss will be clean.

>my nigga
t. whiteboi
black people don't come here.

Drink a teaspoon of bleach, mixed with a bottle of any flavor Gatorade and it'll turn white (no matter what color) and afterwards drink as much water as you can, the line in the cup will dissolve cussing them to reschedule or just keep it as is. (if you reschedule it'll be about a week)

Niacin

hahahaha water intoxication. as if anyone has ever died from drinking water. do you fucking know how healthy water is? if it wasn't for water we'd all be dead, or worse, never even existed at all.

No way around it unless you don't go man. It's really hard dude to pass it dude...

Niggas ar ereh-whur

ok vitamin b12 inyected ( cleans your blood )
if you have a close herbal chinesse place there is this thing called hepanal
then there is this fucked up method you can drink vinager lots of water and cranberry juice shave your head in case it is a hair test.
you will have diahrrea like a mean fucked up diahrrea trust me did it this week.
used some chink herb with fucking yodo I almost got poisoned but got detoxed in three days I shit like fucking yodo right now or blood.
prepare to enter a world of pain

people have descriptions in paragraphs try going to quora, bluelight, drugs forums they have better discussions because not everyone here is as druggy as them ok mmk u feel me

yea its hard to get but it happens, believe it or not people are as stupid as you

You're a fucking moron. KYS

/thread
op stop looking for Sup Forums for advice you'll get 80% bullshit and 19% niggers

just pay some kid to piss in a cup with a syringe too OP, then get a syringe and place it in a warm place use it when youre in the drug test, if its blood test get B12 asp vitamin the results will come inconclusive say it is because you lift weights.

Sorry OP I'm not going to give you false hope here. No amount of water will "flush it" out of your system. Once smoked, especially if you smoke more than occasional (twice a week is enough) it's a solid 2-4 weeks before it fully leaves your system. I hate to say it but unless you can smuggle in urine you are fucked. You smoked yesterday. The test in in less than 2 days. There is no way man.

i even heard expensive detox are not that good, idk though never tried

Cath yourself and inject someone else's piss immediately prior

no other way

Surejell

My friend Martha died when she drank a ton of water for a drug test for the army because she didn't have to pee. You're retarded

The night before and the morning of the test, drink lots and lots of Powerade or Gatorade or whatever sports drink you can find. The idea here is to dilute your urine so that the bad stuff can't be detected, but the large amounts of electrolytes will keep your pee salty, which keeps the specific weight up, so it doesn't show up as diluted.

Also, catch the urine from the middle of the stream and not the beginning or end.

Yes you can pass. Drink a gallon before going to bed and a gallon when you wake up. It will dilute your piss enough.. Trust me.

Drink a lot of cranberry juice.

Quick fix 6.1 shit works had a temp strip on bottle nuke to 98 degree hand warmer keeps it warm for up to six hours used it many times get it from local gas stations call around your area

Or he could injure himself while shaving his head, it is the only possible option or fake an injury.
This is just brainstorming

You'll be fine just drink some bleach, at least a quarter of a gallon tonight then another quarter of a gallon before the test. It'll clear all of the thc from your system.

There are reports of some anti-inflammatory drugs giving false positives. You can take some of that and lie.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_drug_testing

bluelight has some good info. used it when I was doing cold water extraction on some pills I had. found great instructions

Just read it supervised a wizzinator maybe? Op you might be screwed I know without a doubt your a fag