>be American
>wake up at 5AM because my commute is 2.5 hours and I need to gobble up some Sugarflakes™ before I leave
>at least I have my radio™ to entertain me on the way there
>my favorite morning show, "Earwax and Buttslap in the morning on WTYQSSIOPRKER 103.9 FM sponsored by Audible™ and Stitcher™, Sticher - never miss an episode™" is on
>30 seconds of commercials for every 10 seconds of song. It's ok though they're a business right
>finally get to work, my boss yells at me for being 7 minutes late and says I'll never get my 9 year old daughter back from the child deposit boxtm sponsored by LootCrate™ - what was your loot today?™at this rate
>another wave of layoffs this year because a streetpooper in India is willing to do my job for $3 a day and free laxatives
>I've been feeling a sharp pain in my chest when I inhale but my $15k/year insurance barely covers cough medicine
>work my usual 10 hour shift, I might be back by 11 today, this is great
>I have 49 minutes to watch TV
>too bad by $70/month Comcast™ subscription only covers daytime telenovelas
>if I want to watch the game I need the $200/month sports package sponsored by ESPN™ - get your game on™
>well hopefully I can play some vidya at least
>console needs to download the daily 3GB update, it's gonna take 19 hours
>fuck it
>just before I got to bed I remember I'll have to ask my boss for the day off on Sunday, I'm running low on "cheese"™ and "veggies"™, sponsored by Monsanto™ - innovation, collaboration, speed™ and I need to buy some
>greatest country™
>good night
Be American
wtf did I just read
Worst first comment ever you just read some good shit you asshole.
T. reddit cancer
go live in europe with the other queers
You're not cool.
T. reddit cancer
Still uncool
Fuck off OP
You goddamn faggot
>Fuck off OP
>You goddamn faggot
Go be bad at insults somewhere else
>Funny and honest
>Europe hate post.
>I hope there will be more like this.
10/10
laughed a lot
am American
it's all true
god please fucking save us
>be American
>wake up whenever because its a telework day
>listen to favorite podcasts
>have a coffee and breakfast of eggs and bacon purchased from Community Supported Agriculture group.
>work for a while
>insurance is great because I studied engineering and not feminist gay educational theory
>cut the cable 10 years ago
>don't play video games
>workout at company gym
>cook dinner wit wife
>eat, take dogs for walk
>have sex
>sleep
...
probably a baby boomer
90s kids onwards are gayming manchildren
T. 90s kid
Yuppie trash.
Go learn to break the law like a real man.
I'm glad I don't have to live with you obese dumbasses. Such a shitty country I can't even.
>be amerigan
>wake up and roll out of bed
>wade though bottles of Coca-Cola® | Taste The Feeling!
>boot computer
>eat Classic Kraft® Mac & Cheese - with A New Improved Recipe
>boot phone brought to you by MetroPCS® | Nationwide 4G LTE Coverage | No Annual Contracts, 60$ a month
>connecting hotspot @15/kbs 30,000~ping
>attempt to boot team fortress 2 download update 200MB
>one eternity later
>wake up the next day download is finishing up
>look at my calendar o shit end of the month
>turn in recycling to hand to phone company
>living le amerigan dream
420% true story.
Some of us are thin, read books, and take care of our bodies.
But all the fatties call us fags because they're jealous we look good, know more words, and can quote people like Aristotle and Plato.
>filename
Okay so there are decent people in US, too bad the country itself is shit.
>thin
>take care of our bodies
Do you even lift?
75% of this thread is samefag
Thin in the sense that my wasteline isn't 44 inches and it hurts to sit down.
But wont God Emperor Trump Make America Great Again ??
24 replies, 13 posters.
Guess common-core failed.
>anons replying to each other
>le samefag xD
the hell is "T."?
>brought to you by MetroPCS® | Nationwide 4G LTE Coverage | No Annual Contracts, 60$ a month
>tfw I pay 40$
>people talking to each other makes me nervous and angry
>I sort my belongings by alphabetical order, color, and size, and I'm not sure why.
T. facebook reject
>Wale up at 3am due to medicine induced nightmares
>Diagnosed with a bare minimun of 4 mental/behavioral disorders to keep me on a pill cocktail for life
>Drink coffee because I'm addicted and without it I can't function
>Go to shitty class that cost thousands of dollars to learn things I already knew from watching YouTube videos
>Go back to walk in closet sized dorm room to study and exercise
>Stop exercising when the coughing fits set in because the building has virtually no ventilation and it's 80+ years old
>Fall asleep at 2am
>Repeat
>instead of helping somebody with information like a human being, I like to keep my unfunny inside jokes to myself because I see this place as part of my identity. Whether or not I realize how humiliating that is is not important. I just want to let these people know just how intense my narcissism is.
t. he mad
i don't understand these mims, guess I'll never be dank as you.
You want real americana?
>its 4am I Wake up
>bored check Sup Forums and world news
>lights cigarette (Marlboro black menthol 100s)
>check on glorious God Emperormake sure he is okay.
>finish first cigarette
>thirsty drink a bottle of water as i prepare coffee
>go to bathroom piss
>sit back in bed check hulu and netflix
>nothing good, look at news and seegermany being cucked and raped.
>this is what happens when socialist and liberals succeed
>wish i could liberate europe and rid it of sacrens
>remember to pray to god and ask for his guidance
>ask him to strike down my enemies in justice smiting
>get coffee drink it black and hot
>all you need is coffee and hate to start to the day
>grab 1911 and begin cleaning and lubing it
>grab Ar-15 carbine inspect, clean, lube
>go on Sup Forums see liberal cuck posting mocking glorius country
>he is only blinded to see the bad part
>makes fun of indians even though not all indians are bad
>jesvin is indian, he is best friend, he is more civilized than me
>respond to bait
T. madman
NEET.
t. Jesvin
Doesn't make you right, samefag
Fuck you, NSA! Do you really have to spy on every aspect of my life??
Why would "radio" be trademarked you dumbass
T. retard
yes
try to ignore it
Took you long enough. Photoshop confirmed.
Nothing you can do to prove yourself.
t. loser
> working a 9 to 5 job
>job is 10 minutes away
>can drive there in cadillac
T. mad max
YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT FOR NOT BEING BORN RICH.
>Getting paid 22 dollars an hour
>sit around a job
>do nothing but browse Sup Forums
>manage servers make sure everything works nothing overheats
T. aspiring master-baiter
THIS. It is universal.
t. truth
what in the name of Frank J. Wilson does "T." mean?
Find out tonight on the X-Files™ !!
shut up satan.
As a proper English lad, I wish you could save us from being cucked. Happy with my pale white bird but the reality of it is in the next 10 years there will be so many immigrants in the UK that she'll probably end up being raped, and because I'm Christian I'll probably end up beheaded.
Glad our PM's are getting on. Even if it is partially cringy with the holding hands. But with any luck it might give me and my lass time to move to Japland since she wants to go there once she's finisher her Asian studies.
photoshop 100% confirmed
arghhhh
>>manage servers make sure everything works nothing overheats
Kek samefag.
Literally sat here with my feet on my desk doing fuck all.
Check em nice dubs faggot.
Dear friendo, i feels for you. Britain ussd to be great. Im American, even though we talk shit. We want our anglosphere back and protected. Thats why we voted in god emperor. Fight extremes with extremes. Hopefully one day we can resotre britain and anglospere from bein unruined. We restore your gun rights too.
Well boo-fucking-hoo, your country has been butt fucking those shit holes for centuries, what did you expect?
>Be Australian
>Wake up, start pc, start shitposting on Sup Forums
>Play games because all the 100gb patches have downloaded seconds after booting due to fiber internet to the premises.
>Ride kangaroo to work, get paid to call people cunts online.
>You're all cunts
>Yes i'm at work right now
Lulz! Just got home from locking the next episode of that show. 4:40am here in Austin, TX.