We've all stolen something at some point in our lives. My most expensive grab was just a small samsung portable charger

We've all stolen something at some point in our lives. My most expensive grab was just a small samsung portable charger.

Most expensive item you've ever lifted?

i stole a piece of fine art worth somewhere in the ballpark of $20,000 usd

>got fired
>told to clean out my office
>ok
>art was in my office

nobody has asked about it?

Pair of Skullcandy earbuds/Belkin phone charger.
Both about $20. The earbuds were surprisingly good, amazing build and sound quality for a $20 tag. Believe they were Skullcandy "Ink'd."
The charger was pretty good too, it was one of the cords made of fabric, but it didn't fall apart in a couple days. Fully charged my phone (HTC One M8) in about 45-60 minutes.

I take that back. I stole a $40 dress shirt and $30 tie from JC Penney for my friend.

ok I'll bite

not the most expensive thing I stole when I was a little punk, but definitely the most fun

>19 years old
>wanted a table
>went to busy wal-mart with my friend
>took a table
>never paid for it
>walked right out the front door past the greeters
>they didn't ask for the receipt since we were so confident (and nicely dressed young white boys)
>didn't even ask to see the receipt
>"have a nice day!"

and that's how I got a table for free

I bagged up 500 dollars worth of food at walmarts self check out then walked out like a boss while the bold woman was busy checking other peoples receipt

100 bucks out of a church donation bin meh

Mah nigga

You're going to hell bruh

Sap gloves from a gun show

Pic related. It was 30something€.

My wife's virginity.

That was a gift

Last item I stole. It was 20€.

Maybe he bought and raped her. You don't know his life...

OP Here. I work in retail and usually know when the Assets Protection woman is there. It's pretty easy to walk out with items on a nightly basis since i can just bag up my items and go.

How you get her to marry you after you raped her butthole user?

Smooth criminal

10k on IT supplies.

I stealed pokeman cards from my babysitter

We have to let other associates check our bags infront of the camera when we leave
t. Dollarstorefag

I stole the path of the blade from my wife. I would protect innocents in her place, but she got eaten by a giant fucking sky whale. Don't forsake your inner honor, chittens.

Paid her father 5 pieces of silver, obviously.

...

>be me, 15
>don't have any water left, parents are at a concert
>go to small asian convenience store
>grab a big ass water bottle
>go to cashier
>first thing i see is some hobo holding a gun at the cashier
>im standing right behind him
>cashier puts out money while shaking, almost getting a seizure
>almost laugh, notice that im shaking too
>hobo turns around to put money in his coat
>i see the opportunity and grab a pile of money from the counter, almost letting it fall
>both haven't noticed
>hobo walks out with money in his bags and smiles at us while still holding a gun, not a single word has fallen
>give cashier back ~150€
>he thanks me and gifts me the water bottle
>walk out with free water bottle and exactly 300€

Ive also stolen 2 phones from dumb hoes who put their phones in their ass-pockets and shoplifted 7 cones of ice cream.

Fair point. But on the other hand, most expensive gift evar!

Shut up you fucking Target cashier.

My biggest heist was probably a car. Lifted it, stripped it, dumped the frame, bought the frame at auction, rebuilt it in a week, sold it.

15 stop signs. Not really stealing since I pay property and sales taxes.

The most satisfying one occurred because my Walmart cashier accidentally put 30 bucks worth of items I didn't buy on my receipt, and I didn't notice until I got to the car because I was buying a shitload of stuff and it was expensive anyway.

So I go back inside and complain, and then the manager comes out and actually like I'm trying to pull a fast one, and says he is going to go watch the tapes, and he comes back all puffed up and says "no, those items were on there, you're lying. Even though it was shit I clearly would never buy, and it was left over from the cashier having fucked up the person in front of me's order.

And the manager just wouldn't listen, so then I came back later and stole 30 bucks worth of shit from Walmart to get my money back. Fuck you, Walmart.

I also got a 300 dollar bed from IKEA for free because I was buying a ton of stuff and the cashier rang up everything on my cart with a handhead scanner but somehow missed the bed. And I didn't notice until I got home, and I sure as hell wasn't going to drag that bed all the way back.

A tennis racket. Yeah I'm white.

£14,500 cash.

Call of Duty Black Ops 2 from a Meijer just to see if I could. They didn't have the PC games in plastic cases like Walmart and Target do, so I just opened it there in the store, took a picture of the key with my phone and then went home and activated it on Steam lol.

I've actually never stolen anything before.

I'm 19 and I've never stolen anything that I can remember. Seems weird to think about.

$15 deck of cards. they were theory11 cards iv e stolen over 20 luxury decks of cards and countless normal ones

>be dumb 15 yr old me
>hanging out with a friend my age around 10 pm in the summer
>we take our bikes to a building which was being constructed
>4 floors, fairly big building set back about 100 yrds from main route
>just the beams, floors, and stairs were done
>ride our bikes through it, up stairs, racing around just being innocent enough not causing damage
>find big tool chest on the bottom floor which is unlocked
>we rifle through it for shits and giggles
>find chalk straight line tool
>tie it to a beam and ride around making a spider web of chalk string
>call friend who is 18, whom is with someone idk that is 19
>"come hang out its fun"
>they arrive, see tool chest
>bs talk for a min and they start running tools into the bed of the truck
>I had no intentions of taking a thing
>items include a concrete grinder, several saw zaws, drill guns, tool sets and such
>they say goodbye and put the car in drive
>cops show up
>all 4 get taken to station
>dad comes to get me, he is drunk
>they don't notice
>2 older kids have a grand larceny charge with trespassing, large lawyer fees
>friend my age gets community service
>dad makes me go to owner of construction company to apologize next day
>I get probation and didn't have to do any community service, basically come out clean with expunged record
>I'm now dating the 19 yr olds ex gf, who turned out to be a woman beater

>xbox one comes out
>friend buys one
>brags about it because I don't have one
>loves this thing, says it's even better than PC
>I go over to his house and steal it
>he calls me later that it's gone
>create a throwaway facebook
>send him a request, he accepts
>send him pictures of the XBO tied up
>"I have your Xbox one"
>"who the fuck is this?"
>"Don't ask who I am. If you ever want to see your precious console again you'll do exactly as I say"
>"fuck you"
>wait a few minutes
>send him a picture of the XBO with the top removed"
>"okay, just don't damage it what the fuck"
>"meet me at 9th AVE park at 12 Midnight with a large pizza, pepperoni, light sauce. Come alone. i'll bring the Xbox"
>"WHAT IS GOING ON"
>wait around in the dark, he shows up
>step from the shadows wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt and a plague doctor mask
>"were you followed?"
>"dude who the fuck are you?"
>"that's not important. Do you have it?"
>"yeah, what the fuck is this anyway?"
>he gives me the pizza
>give him the Xbox
>"if you speak of this to anyone i'll kill you"
>leave
>he never mentions it to me, or anyone

>Work at Target
>Travel to a larger town with Super Target
>Wear uniform/name badge to store
>Go straight to employee room
>Grab equipment for authenticity
>Work a couple of pulls as to avoid suspicion
>Cover for a break in Electronics
>Receive keys for expensive shit
>Grab speakers, fitbits, xbox, games, etc
>Bags up what I can and fits in locker
>Have friend come pick up larger stuff
>After break is over, I grab my bags and leave
>Employees/Team Leader never notices a thing

>Most expensive item you've ever lifted?


My room mate's wife.

Now lets all wait for people to gratify us, while constantly spamming the F5 button to refresh the page, until the thread dies.

are you a superhero?

Pizza for XBO? Good trade.

Sounds good to me.

Quads checked

I didn't want to keep it, I just wanted to fuck with him because he'd been annoying the shit out of me.

Beside that I already had a good gaming rig, and it's almost impossible to sell stolen electronics.

so true it hurts

this is good enough to put in a movie

I stole some fireworks once

One time while working I watched a guy get mad about waiting in line so he just left with his entire cart of unpaid groceries.

>15 years old
>think I'm a real muthafuckin G
>actually just a skinny white skater kid who does graffiti for real gangsters so I can get a pass
>get invited to skip school and hang out with the gang elders
>ditch school after homeroom with buddy
>walk to other friend's neighborhood where we're supposed to meet up and drive to the mall or some shit
>friend's mom is still home so we go hang around the development recreation center
>buddy notices groundskeeper's golf cart, starts tagging it up
>i jump in cart
>key is still in ignition
>uhhhh, yup
>turn cart on
>friend jumps in
>bust little peel out skid as I'm backing up
>groundskeeper emerges from rec center
>Hey you kids!
>beep horn
>Suck my cock, Groundskeeper Willie as we drive off
>Willie starts chasing us
>Why is he gaining on us?
>cart only goes about 20mph
>Shit!
>after a few sick maneuvers we ditch the cart, pushing it over and causing a wheel to fly off
>we haul ass
>in between some houses
>find an open shed in someone's back yard
>go inside
>hide out for at least 2 hours
>find cigarettes with a joint in the pack
>smoke joint in shed
>owner comes out
>WHO THE FUCK IS SMOKING POT IN MY SHED?
>we escape
>make mad dash for friend's house
>see black and white driving past street as we cross
>hear sirens
>start running again
>hear car getting closer
>then nothing
>Is the coast clear?
>peek head around corner of house
>5ft tall female shortstack cop has 357 magnum drawn on me
>You've fucked it, mate.

Not really a theft as much as a joy ride but the courts didn't see it that way.

Brita water filter because I'm a white piece of shit

love you user

i have stolen dirty panties of my gf's sister! Love to smell and lick them!