Best strategies to hooking up and attracting land whales with ease

Best strategies to hooking up and attracting land whales with ease

What a proper, well-fed, breedable hog.

Be a male? Let them know you don't mind the smell of shit, sweat, and unwashed vag. Those things can't be picky.

Place a big Mac with a diet cola on a bear trap

>breedable

I love seeing thin women become landwhales.

go to Frat party and ask one to dance, they'll say yes, start groping her. Always remember she hasn't felt a man's touch in years so she's down for anything ask her to fuck and she'll say yes after a little dancing and making out

piece of cake

Just ask them to fuck, if they're as repulsive as the one in your pic they should be easy.

same here

Give them lots of attention, eye contact, flirting, etc. Tell them they're hot but don't let on that you want them cause they're fat. They'll melt right onto your dick.

TFW you live in one of the fattest regions of the world.

...

Shut up and take the Fat Pill.

Hey sugartits can I buy you seven cheeseburgers?

Kek

be black

Pizza is more romantic, I think.

say hi

lure with food

Fat Fetish is best fetish. It puts you ahead of the curve in a world full of obesity.

This

World's only going to get fatter. Those who embrace the blubber will get the pussy.

Dating webstires... full of em... nobody wants em....

Use a harpoon

Literally. Fucking. Exist.

Hambeasts will naturally hit you up and want the dick. They CAN'T be choosy because of the fact only Whaler's want them, and that's just to harpoon them in the guts.

I mean, shit... if you're having trouble chasing after Moby Dick, you must be the worst pirate I've ever heard of...

>hey, wanna fuck? I have a dig bick

Just make sure you can always be found at your local McDonalds with more food than you can manage, those bitches will come to you son.