Colonel, are you there?

Colonel, are you there?
I overheard some people here talking about something called DUBS and TRIPS...it looks like everyone wants to have them...there's a whole room full of people shouting "Check 'Em". Do you know what is this about Colonel?

Its about time i told you snake meryls.... My daughter. She rolled a 666 and the dubs police got her locked up somewhere on that island. You have to save her snake. Roll a 666 while check em to save meryl

Oh boy, here I go kernel!

>!
She...i didn't knew she was your daughter Colonel...
And, what is this "Dubs police"? Are they have armed or any dangerous?
And how do a "roll" a 666?
But I will rescue Meryl, Colonel! I will find a way.

MERYLLLLL
Check em

Im coming meryll
I love you meryl
Check em

Check em

Romania

Shit

Dem quads dubs

...

NOOOO MERYLLL

I don't understand the meaning of this! Colonel, listen to these people...
It's like this everyday here...it's like a...
>!
Co-c....Colonel....I...
I'm sorry Colonel...

I cant complete the mission colonol

Meryls bread
Abandon thread

Snake, my child, are you still searching for the KFC serum? We dicussed this yesterday, report in.

!
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The K.F.C. serum, i saw some files saying that is even more powerful when you use it with watermelon juice...i don't understand how, but i have it on a disk with me.
Colonel...I'm sorry about Meryl...i will find that sniper and end this once and for all!

No colonol, i did find some of this however.
Am tripping balls, will seach after

Your women still lives snake.
Do you think you can save her?

Do you want to die now? Or after your female friend? Which will it be?

S-She still alive?
>!
IT'S YOU!
What have you done to Meryl?!? ANSWER ME! You will pay for what you've done!

Wat

Yes Snake, our medical team has found when exposed to trace enriched watermelon cake, the KFC serum becomes even more potent, attracting nearby ethnics to the KFC serum.

The Dubs and Trips, so to say are a byproduct of this process. When exposed to a lack of the serum, many afflicted look for repeated patterns in normal places....when applied to certain aspects of life they crave to see more repeated patterns. Examples include numbers on a digital clock or a post ID on online forums. Be careful Snake, if someone mentions Dubs, Trips or Quads they could have been exposed to the serum at a long previous point in their lives. We are unsure about the effect this could have, but be on your toes Snake.

Hmm...online forums...i never knew that online forums were dangerous!
And this explain all the commotion i've seen...
So people try to deal with withdraw by searching for patterns...it's quite specif...i will keep an eye on everyone that likes this patterns, Colonel...
But i need to ask again...why when i talk to you Colonel...i...i always smell fried chicken!

If this thread doesn't make it into The Best of Sup Forums.

I am unsure. It seems after the world was shook by avian flu, poultry sales have crashed down low....too low. We suspect Clown Face may have something to do with it.
If Cipher are going to put the serum into the public, our medical team suspect that it may be via feeding the public by choice is how they are going to do it...they would have to control all food inspection facilities across the world.
Its just a theory at the moment, but they could be using Fried chicken to spread the KFC serum...

And an update. That man who warned us about the sniper-we awarded him the Diamond Dog award, the best he could get. His head was blown clean off by a McDonaldov sniper round. Clown Face is definitely in the area. Be on alert Snake.

I lurking atm, but I swear there was a thread like this yesterday. I think 2 anons have found each other again
What happened was:
>Skull Face=Clown Face (Ronald McDonald)
>KFC serum controls black ppl (Africa, Abbo etc)
>Sniper was around
>Ottacon was going on about a Radiowave wormhole created by Psycho Mantis which let him contact another universe-us

THIS THREAD OMG

Colonel, i don't understand! What are you talking about?!
"Clownface", "Cipher"...I don't understand!
Colonel, the avian flu crisis happened decades ago...we all know that things have changed now...all the hormones they feed to animals to make them grow faster so companies can meet the demand on the market...but what chickens and all have to do with all this?!?
I'm after Metal gear and the K.F.C. serum...Colonel, answer me! WHY DO I SMELL FRIED CHICKEN EVERY TIME I TALK TO YOU?!?!

Snake no! Don't kill her..! She's... she's my waifu..!

...

I'm going inside the box...things make more sense inside the box...
Otacon! Are you there?
I don't understand what is happening...even the Colonel...it looks like everyone is crazy!
This place, it think this place is messing with my mind! After i retrieved the "T.R.A.P.S." files, people look different...i...Otacon i'm confused!

Naomi...are you there?

I see that you like to play Monster Quest. As well as Artificial Girl... You also like Illusion Games Rapelay...

>!
Psycho mantis!!!
I knew! You are involved in all this! The smell of fried chicken, the things people are saying!
I knew it! You have power over this place!
You're gonna pay!

From the moment we're thrown into this board, we're fated to bring each other nothing but pain and misery.

I've been doing some digging and snake... I'm sorry to have to tell you but it turns out there is no colonel. He's actually an A.I. This means you've really been talking to a bot this entire time! They're trying to use you to secure the k.f.c. serum for themselves so they can sell it to the highest bidder! That's not even the worst part! I managed to break into their files and I found out that the same people controlling the colonel have somehow gotten their hands on a new prototype METAL GEAR! Even worse, this new metal gear has been equipped with a built in defense mechanism that makes it impossible to hit with stinger missiles! You have to find out a way to stop them, snake!

Sorry Snake, Clownface and Cipher are well above your clearance grade, ignore me.
My point was that stocks of poultry plummeted during that crisis. If Ciph-I mean the enemy bought the bird when they were young, they could have a sizeable stock now, enough to distribute to the world.
And what is this nonsense about smelling Fried Chicken? You know as well as I, that your receiver does not give off smells. I appreciate you are under stress, but in the current situation we could very well assume that it is YOU under a mild effect of the K F C serum. I have nothing to with this at all, absolutely nothing at all.
Do not follow this lead Snake I REPEAT do not follow this lead.

Now to the mission at hand. A local warlord has taken a large stock of enriched watermelon cake, as well as (for some reason) large amounts of K00l-41d powder. We have reason to believe the two are linked to each other. Find the warlord and kill him before he sells the cake to a man in full costume and face paint. Try not to alert the buyer as he is a possible lead further into their command. He is Codename Clownface an old PF commander. And whilst you are there, try to steal one of the buyers Mcdonaldovs. They are exremely powerful and rare experimental rifles and could serve you well, especially if that local sniper finds you. Report back in Snake

snek

Snake thats the same guy from yesterday! I'll say it again, ignore all messages from me, that wormhole is still open!

I-it can't be!
I heard this place...i heard legends about this place...how they had people here, with creative minds that would deploy justice...and now it's a wasteland...Are you responsible for the all of this? What happened?
This place was a threat to some and a heaven to others...now it's a safe zone for PTSDUBSD!
IT CAN'T BE! Colonel is here! He was talking to me!
I...
Otacon...people are stopping making sense...
OTACON!!!

I neED sCizzers. 61!

Snake, snap out of it or I am pulling you out. If this gets too hard for you, we will simply use full force to destroy the KFC serum. Do you hear me?

Let's do this

I...I'm not sure what is going on Colonel...Otacon...
I need time...to finish my mission...to understand what is going on...
This place...I knew that this was a dangerous place when i accepted this mission.
I knew that i was to retrieve information and destroy Metal Gear...
I knew that...
But being here...i can see now...This place, i can see the echos of great minds, i can understand why even lost, when even empty and without hope, people are still here. Each step here must be taken with determination and with the knowledge that not all men have the right to be trusted...but they all deserve a chance to talk.
I...in some ways, i think i like this place.
Colonel...i will contact you tomorrow.
I'm still sure i will finish this mission Colonel, but...I need...
I will contact you tomorrow. Same time.