Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a very funny comedian here tonight. He's really going to make you hoot and holler...

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a very funny comedian here tonight. He's really going to make you hoot and holler, trust me.
Please give a great big round of applause for the very promising user! user, you're on the mic.
>3...
>2...
>1...
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Good-evening and thanks for having me on the show Johnny.
Say, are there any big guys in the audience?

I said big guys....

Anybody?

So, how about those Rothschilds running the world, hey? That's crazy! Did you know that they own nearly every central bank, in every single nation on Earth, governing entire currencies and making entire governments, including that of the United States of America, do their bidding for them? Ha ha, oh MAN!

(*audience laughter, wild applause and 5 Emmys later*)

If I tell an unfunny joke, will I die?

Are you just running around every thread mentioning The Rothschilds?

Whats your agenda?

Haha, thanks alot Johnny... Blacklist any filthy kikes today, m8? Haha, I kid I kid but seriously...
The holocaust was a lie.
Big guys for you.
Good night!
*drops mic to thundering applause

...

It would be extremely embarrassing

go to bed Jacob Rothschild

Thanks for having me on Johnny, you George W Bush-lookin' zebra fuck. Hooooo!

>audience dying in laughter, some boos can be heard
>Carson signals to cut to commercial

So the other day I was sitting on the couch with my girlfriend, and the phone rang. I answered it, and this guy yelled, "Get your hands off my daughter!"

So she asked me who it was, and when I told her, she laughed and said, "My father doesn't have any daughters," and then she raped me up the ass with her ten-inch cock.

>muh boogeyman

>he hates Sup Forums

It just never stops being funny.

I immediately leave, don't come on, go home, lock the door, don't watch anything other than reruns, and keep away from society for two weeks.

>being racist is interesting
wow good logic admin

so how about those school shooting, uh, pretty uhhh pretty tragic or something
Hey Johnny sucks that you'll have a heart attack soon or whatever
(immediately evacuate my bowels)

Isn't everything interesting? You can learn a lot from the "other side", my cotton-coddled friend. There's a strange and wonderful world filled with different people, outside of your hugbox. Just make sure you're not wearing those rockabilly glasses when you meet a few of those people, however.

Fuck all you people! You know what? You fucking losers, I hope you all fucking die, and I hope those fucking Eagles never win the Superbowl. Go fuck yourselves.

Fuck all you motherfuckers and fuck the Flyers. Fuck all of you. Fuckin’ goddamn fuckin’ losers. Booing Dom Irerra. Suck a dick. All of you. Suck a fuckin dick!

How’s that?

Yo – I’m seguewaying into my next joke. You can all lick my fucking red nuts. All of you… you can line up with your Harold Carmichael fuckin’ jerseys, and one at a time you can all suck my dick!

City of Brotherly Love. You bunch of fuckin’ cocks. Fuckin’ goddamn losers. 52 fuckin hours into a show. What the fuck am I gonna do at this point. You people are on goddamn acid. Fuckin’ be up here talking about Hitler. That ain’t gonna work.

What do you want me to talk about? Hey! Throw out some topics. Let’s talk about heart disease, something you’re all gonna fuckin die of. And I’m gonna laugh at your fucking funerals which is gonna be great.

You’re all gonna get fuckin’ cancer which is fantastic because all your fuckin’ heads are shaved anyways. No one’s even gonna notice. You’re gonna get fired for coming to work too late cause they’re not gonna notice that you have fuckin’ bone marrow cancer. The only thing that’s gonna give it away is me laughing at you in the fuckin’ background.

You fuckin’ bunch of losers with your fucking cellphone pictures Fuckin’ suck a dick. Fuckin’ assholes.

11 more minutes of this!

Hi folks, sorry if I seem a little drunk tonight. I was standing next to Ed McMahon backstage and I think I got a contact high. Seriously though, that guy's so loaded his cologne comes in a thermos. He's the reason Coors invented the 48-pack. His piss is carbonated and fizzes up into a head of foam. At least it cleans the toilets. Speaking of cleaning the toilets, Johnny, is Sammy Davis Jr. on the show tonight. Sammy's a degeneate gambler, gets in on anything. My son was playing marbles and Sammy tried to yake him for his allowance. Now Sammy's walking arouind with an eye patch.

What? That's all my time and were going straight to commercial, fuuuuck.

...

Am I supposed to have any idea who this is??

NIGGER! LOOK THERE'S A NIGGER!

This place is probably somewhere they use to corral us so they can slowly condition us with BLACKED threads.

I stopped wondering why the mods tend to leave those up. Who knows what the fuck else they're doing.

I still love it here though.

Hey Johnny, ever seen the inside of a black person?

Y-you too

many times

"...and then he says, the fire rises. Really, Bane? It rises? Did you just figure out that fire burns upward, or did you think it could burn upside down or something? Man, I tell ya..."